Little Goffy

Similar scenario to Carlton's trade for Adam Cerra. We wouldn't want Davies-Uniacke if he was going to be the pivot of our midfield, but if we are adding him to complete a midfield mix then there's get real value. Cerra hasn't even lived up to the hype from the time he was traded (for pick 6) and he has still been a big part of Carlton's lift from a brittle list over-dependent on a handful of big names, to serious premiership contenders. Cripps, Walsh, Hewett (underrated), Cerra, ... Petracca, Oliver, Viney, Davies-Uniake. Free agent next year so I'd rather wait than pay the trade price, but if it we had to act now or see him go to St Kilda, I'd offer a respectable deal. Also young enough to keep the age profile of our list turning over just in case that gets a bit hairy when/if Tassie comes in.

Okay... so piecing it together... Greene clearly initiated his jump with intent to compete for the ball. He then stopped competing for the ball out of fear of collision. He chose to protect himself from that collision by ensuring that the initial contact was the least vulnerable part of his body impacting upon the most vulnerable part of his opponent. This action transferred the risk to his off-balance opponent and also greatly increased the risk to this opponent. It has been widely alleged that if he had not done this and instead chosen to make a soft contact without focusing his weight and momentum into a single point, both players would have been severely injured by fragments from a falling satellite, or something, I don't quite understand that part.

I love the detail that the ball actually bounces off Greene's shoulder. He has literally stopped going for the ball out of fear of impact, and then barrelled into the much more vulnerable opponent's head. He chose to bump instead of contest the ball. If that isn't a simple one for the MRO then they are in serious trouble.

Also, surely there must be a warehouse of unsold Demon Gnomes out there somewhere which can be bought as a job lot and place in every window and balcony in the area. Total Gnome dominance.

I've got relatives on Powlett Street! I'll notify them to keep an eye out for mistreated gnomes.

Player A - backing into a contest with eyes on the ball and not able to see player B. Player B - With full view of the incoming ball and player, missed the ball and drives shoulder into back of head of player A to 'protect himself'. There's spin, and then there's urinating into a fan.

Still not ready for the Jake Waterman 2025 free agency thread?

So far the results of this round have gone 100% according to the proportion of insufferable jerks who will tell you all about it on monday. So, cue up West Coast, Sydney, Geelong and Hawthorn. But the Blues overcoming their throwback 6-goal-againsr run and doing it in style is a bit of a story. Not much doubt in my mind that they're the main threat to our 2024 premiership. Aside from, you know, ourselves.

Well, earlier this quarter the radio commentary described a shot as 'caressing across the behind' so maybe touched is starting to mean something different. Oh, for [censored] sake. They just said Cox came from behind and reached around to grab the ball. Accurate call but also not appropriate call.

Unless there's a freak occurance in the West Coast v Fremantle game, we're looking at a round 6 ladder with five teams on one win or fewer. Played out over a season that would mean just three or four wins each by the end. I've been looking over past ladders to find an example of such a long 'tail' to the ladder. For a moment I thought 2020 (two teams with 3 wins, three teams with 5 wins) but of course that was Covid-restricted and there were only 17 games. Other than that, the weakest tails I've found are; 2018, with Carlton on two wins and three other clubs with 5 or 4. 2012 have a five-team tail, with the Giants and Suns doing their early-career tanking strategy, Melbourne close to their worst, and Port & the Dogs only managing 5 wins. Incredibly, one up from that pile of failure, 13th place on the ladder had ten wins, and it took 14 wins just to make the finals. This could be a very skewed season where clocking through the 'regulation' wins becomes very important for sorting the finals order when 16 wins might not even be top 4 finish, and an alarming share of the games are the proverbial '8-point' games. As it stands, 4-2 is barely enough to keep us in the 8, but considering the level of disruption and missing/underdone players going into the season, we've done well to be in that leading pack. We should thank Richmond for their effort against Sydney and politely but firmly ensure they don't do it against us next round!

To be fair, last season they started 4-1 then went 7-11. Looks like the fast start is a Brad Scott specially.

Personally I'm torn between appreciation of Indigenous representation and dislike of 'love hearts'. As for the flags being on this year, I suspect that's a product of finally resolving the long and bitter legal dispute about commercial IP 'ownership' of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander flags.

So... who else is riveted by the prospect of tonight's game? Adelaide v Essendon to for the levitating potato cup.

2023: 39 goals for the season, averaging 1.5 marks inside 50, both behind only King at the Suns (and ahead of any Demon) Took more contested marks than any of our forwards did, whether you split it by average or total. Led the suns for goal assists and was behind only Noah Anderson for inside 50s. I suspect he is in fact a key forward. Possibly even a textbook modern CHF. When the coach permits it!

Best part is that if he does it again he will still be able to affirm to the tribunal that he has never been suspended. Reminds me of a guy a used to know who had [definitely not Serbian mafia] lawyers who got him off driving charge after driving charge with 'good record' and 'first offence' arguments. None were recorded as convictions therefore the defence could be recycled every time. A little side note; I think it is time we started systematically tying the little red strings on the wall chart back to Channel 7. Starting to look like that network is leaning on the scales of the AFL, it's coverage, and it's administration in numerous 'unhelpful' ways.

Shades of when Hawthorn gave Franklin a long early contract when he was still a teenager, and Franklin went on to kick 300 goals over the next 4 seasons. Definitely the same. Okay, so maybe just 200 goals, but that's the effect of the modern game. ;) But, seriously, Van Rooyen has shown enough that we can be confident he'll be a valuable contributor and a relatively flexible key forward throughout a full AFL career.

The 2023 version of Lukosius would be a potent structural addition. Takes marks - including inside 50 and contested when the coach permits it. Can kick goals (39.22 in 2023) and set up goals (15 goal assists for 2023 and 6 score involvements per game) Gains metres and can do it in ways that disorient opposition defence thanks to his ability to roost it with accuracy over 40-50m as well as launch credible shots from outside 50. After having an excellent season in 2023 he appears to be pushed out of his best role due to pecking order and only being adequate so far this year. Getting him now and using his attributes as a mobile, connecting CHF would be like trading for Bailey Fritsch at the end of 2020, right before he was allowed to settle as a forward.

Officially official for Murphy. https://www.afl.com.au/news/1110220/collingwood-magpies-defender-nathan-murphy-retires-due-to-concussion

Not sure I could ever feel comfortable supporting him or going through the annoying conversations with people having a laugh at his haircut, off-field antics, and his on-field... hmmm... can't quite find the word for it to bypass the censors. Half-gluteal contributions to defence? Plus; knee, season. Our priority aside from the talls would be a more rounded and complete midfielder in the Andrew Brayshaw, Luke Davies-Uniake style. (RFAs, 2025)

THE BUTTERING RAM A short graphic novel Mate, may I please have some duty of care please now? No. Look at me going for this ball... over here. 360 degree 'low impact' spin from contact to the face. Still looking for that other ball.

Oh Richmond. Oh my. Oh me oh my. And is it too early to start the 'Jake Waterman restricted free agent 2025' thread?

It actually doesn't look like much in the action but it followed the worst case scenario of being tipped at the same time as momentarily losing consciousness and then having a second heavy head impact with the ground. The image of him slow-spasming on the ground is true horror and it apparently wasn't until after he had been stretchered to the rooms that he regained consciousness, which is a frighteningly long time. Wishing the best for him.

Sounds like the game has lifted in pace a bit - or at least the pace of scoring?

Fun Fact: When Kolytn Tholstrup was seven years old, Ben Cousins was arrested at Esperance Airport and found to have meth stashed up his Maynard. Definitely should ask Tholstrup about it next time he joins the podcast.

I wonder if he'll get a 'simulation' fine for his bit of theatrics in the game against us? He clearly felt something brush his hair and then four steps later he put on a poogasm face and clutched at his head. A bit embarrassing.