Demonstone

While we're still several hours away from the first bounce, I thought I'd share with you all this little story about Hawthorn ruckman Jonathon Ceglar, who has been omitted for today's game. Not many of you would know that I went to school with him and, while he was good at sport, he was no chop at any other aspect of life. In fact, I'd say that Jonathon is without a shadow of a doubt the dumbest kid I ever met growing up. He never learned the body mechanics required to climb down ladders/trees/etc because he fell off literally every time, mostly by choice. He once kept a bottle of apple juice in his schoolbag for five months thinking it would turn into alcohol. He skolled the lot and instantly threw up everywhere. The next year he tried it again but left it in the bag for even longer, thinking that THAT was the flaw in his plan. He’d turn up to school with all these cuts and scratches and say it was from playing with the cat that lives in his street. However, once he elaborated it became very apparent that he was describing a koala. When he got called out he threatened to fight everyone. Even after someone went to the library and got an encyclopedia and showed him a picture of a koala and said “Is this what the cat looks like” and he said "Yes" he still insisted that he was right and it was a cat. He wanted to bet us $50 that he was right, but the whole drama repeated when it turned out he didn’t know what $50 looked like. When we were in Year 8 we didn’t see him for the whole of Term 1. We assumed that he’d moved schools or died falling out of a tree or something, until we found out he’d just kept going to the Year 7 classrooms. And he was getting worse grades than the year before. He straight up didn’t know the difference between left and right (not like confusing them sometimes, just didn’t understand they were two different things) until I think Year 10, when we worked out that he was left handed and because he wrote with that hand he assumed that was his right/write hand. When we started going to parties, he kept insisting that the beer he was drinking out of a plastic bottle was better quality than glass or cans because “plastic is more technological.” He once gave out invitations to his party but instead of an address there was just a drawing of three houses with an arrow pointing to the one on the right. One day I saw him in a shoe store holding up the shoe (a left-footed Adidas trainer) that was on display and asking the shop assistant if he could get a discount if he bought the right one as well. It’s just as well this bloke is okay at footy because he is NO GOOD at anything else.

Didn't help Patton.

What he said.

How do you feel about the deliberate out of bounds issue?

Who?

In list management news, North Melbourne is rumoured to be looking to use its Mid Season Draft selection on one of Nat Fyfe's lesser known twin brothers. Should North lose at Kardinia Park on Sunday as the vast majority of pundits are tipping, expect to hear a lot of media talk next week about Owen Fyfe and Norton Fyfe.

The old fella was the cause of all the trouble.

We won't have to worry about big Jonathon Patton - just announced his retirement from AFL.

Surprised this hasn't come up before today.

Or a fuchsia perhaps?

Because of the advent of colour TV in Australia in March 1975. From memory, we were seen to look too much like Carlton (not a desirable thing!). Teams also started wearing coloured shorts replacing the traditional black at home and white away.

Yes.

Didn't hear Jobe Watson the other night?

That bloke at selection four might be out of our reach, moneywise. How could we possibly afford the wages of Sinn? It might kill us.

That's just standardus operandus around here if have interpretated this site properly.

Pretty close there, bushy. Healy won the goalkicking with 77 in 1982, finishing just one in front of Mark Jackson, who remarkably kicked 76 goals in each of his two seasons with us.

I'm pretty sure that it was John Northey who led the push to revert back to the navy blue, saying that he thought it looked "stronger" and that the royal blue was an insipid look. Like others, I'm happy with the light blue as a clash jumper but will always love the dark blue above all.

Are we talking African swallows or European swallows here?

Over at Arden Street, Ben Cunnington has won his appeal against that dodgy suspension and will play this week. edit: Sorry, wrong thread. Could mods move this to Tribunal thread please?

Tom Browne reporting that Oscar will miss around three months with a bone stress issue in his lower back. Tough luck for the bloke, I hope he gets through it OK.

I guess that's the great unknown at this stage. They would have that prerogative. edit: Clarification sought - is Merrett a RFA or UFA?

He's a free agent. Essendon would get a compensation pick as determined by the AFL. No trading involved.

Not sure about that. Lots of posters on here have nominated him as trade bait but I'm not aware of any rumours of that actually happening. I'd rather keep him and also pick up Merrett as the free agent that he will become at year's end.

In the 1980s vs Collingwood we had Lyon opposed to Christian with the result the same as in Roman times.

I'm in favour of Option C: No bye the week before or during finals. Hate that dull week of no footy at all.