Skuit

They don't apply to the Northern Academies.

In perfect woo-who conditions, the mystery of woo-hoo man gives way to the mystery of woo-hoo man's absence.?

My brother runs the AV at Adelaide Oval and constantly updates me on Michelangelo Rucci's postgame media conference attire, which he describes as 'homeless' but not homeless chic, with actual genuine food stains.

Ripper match. Port had the rub of the green but were pretty good nonetheless. Awesome footy. Another contender dealt with. Haven't read the thread but looking forward to hearing that Ben Brown should be dropped due to a score-sheet donut. That is by far our best forward set-up in my opinion, may it last. One issue: surely the original intent of the holding-the-man and push-in-the back rules are to prevent interference off the ball when the opponent is still in the contest, rather than to penalise players who tackle someone who drops the ball in the tackle or otherwise drops their knees and gets ridden into the ground?

Was my next-door neighbour when I was in high school playing footy. Absolute top bloke.* *I know that is irrelevant to your post.

There's also a correlation to last year. We haven't lost to a team which beat us in 2020, but have played generally poorly against those we beat - especially those we spanked. The boys have spoken about being embarrassed at the end of 2020, knowing that our list was as good as the best. Port delivered the biggest humiliation of all. The MFC might be out to prove a point.

Why do people keep saying this match is season defining? What if we lose this one and win all of our other matches for the rest of the year? Is it even possible to determine which match is season-defining before there's a completed season to be defined? We've demonstrated that we have the capability to so far beat four out of five of the other flag contenders, who unlike us have all taken points off each other at various stages. All teams have form slumps over the course of a 22-round season. This is really just another match in that season. A loss to Port Adelaide at Adelaide Oval on a Thursday night wont define our season, but it may confirm that our slump is performance-related or structural rather than a motivational issue.

You clearly haven't been listening to the commentators for the past few years. Big Mummy would put the willies into anyone who has ever played the game past or present. Looked an absolute specimen on the weekend. Gawn was literally cowing.

Indeed EO. Apologies for adding to the proliferation of threads in the wake of a loss. Small matter but, I don't identify as a person, but it's okay because I know you meant no offence. As an engorged onion though I imagine you go through that a lot.

Williams would be an absolute train-wreck as head-coach at Collingwood, may it be. And there's no evidence that Yze has had a positive influence on our midfield set-up as yet, bless his soul, and will be leaving sooner or later anyway. We make at least the semis this year as a genuine up-and-comer and we can also probably poach whoever we want. I'll be into Nathan Basset until the day that I die. Despite the delusions of many on here, Simon Goodwin is directing and driving this group during its ascension, and I actually feel like we could do with some better line coaches with more specific expertise.

Was at that match Walking. Kiwi fans had a field-day, rightfully. But then this:

So embarrased. Derp.

Who on earth is Tom Clurey? I don't have a clurey.

I hate planking too: idiots

Never met Craig McDermott. But I once bumped into Michael Bevan at the Darwin trots and unfortunately said how much of a hero he was of mine and how I was really sad when he broke his knee bumping into Mark Waugh running between wickets. He said, I think you're thinking of Michael Elliot mate. Derp. So embarrassing. So many Michaels though. Fun fact: Michael Kasprowiks and Michael Elliot debuted in the same test. And nowadays even our training sessions are 'miked-up', lol, although I'm pretty sure Michael Hussey would never complain about planking. Mr. Cricket!

Fanatique Demon is right ProperDee. You should probably take that stuff to the Trengrove vs Dustin Martin thread.

What's there to figure out? It does what it says on the can.

So I noticed something peculiar on the weekend, and especially so in the first quarter. The players kept losing complete track of the ball. Or were otherwise slower to the ground-ball contests, or not coming to meet it at its furthest point when marking. I think it bounced off May’s head at one stage, and someone even looked like they may have stepped on it (a la Glenn McGrath in that fateful warm-up calamity before the 2005 Ashes test at Edgbaston – or ‘No-edge-baston’ as I now like to call it, considering Kasprowicz didn’t even get any bat on it).* Anyway, it’s been kind of bugging me since, because I couldn’t work it out. Like what, are half the players suddenly going blind? And then finally it hit me. I checked the BOM’s light-meter readings for Melbourne for the afternoon of Saturday the 3rd of July and sure enough, they were 22 percent below the annual average. To make it worse, in typical AFL fixturing favouring their pet expansion sides, we were coming off a night match under lights, while GWS had the 1pm fixture the week before – just six days this side of the hibernal solstice. Basically, we were doomed by the gloom before even the first bounce, and it obviously took us three quarters before our eyes could fully adjust. My question is, why weren’t the lights put on at the MCG for the match? Like I get global warming and all, but surely it’s preferable the league find emissions savings elsewhere rather than undermine the integrity of the competition with one team clearly more disadvantaged by the poor visibility than the other. I dunno, maybe somehow melt the old balls down rather than deflating all that used air back into the atmosphere? The second thing I want to know then – who is responsible for sending us out in that blurry indigenous round guernsey when all you have to do is look out the window and realise our players are going to have trouble seeing each other in the dark and would be crying out for better contrast? I’m guessing it was Alan Richardson rather than the AFL on this one, or at least he should be the one to take responsibility. Already the week before we kept handpassing it straight to Essendon players due to the red flash of their sashes, like some bull in a Chinese shop. The thing is, how can we be expected to consistently perform if our colours aren’t consistent and the AFL keeps scheduling us in overcast day clashes against teams whose pupils have already had the chance to adjust in a match environment the week prior? Have you ever walked from the bright sunlight into the shade before? Now imagine that, but while also trying to pick out a dark-coloured egg-shaped ball bouncing through the air while Shane Mumford’s coming at you, possibly the most fearsome enforcer to ever play the game? All in all, we haven’t won a day match since back in Autumn, and it’s clear our form slump is related to having to play football in winter and likely some issues around melatonin loads (we should maybe tap Clarry for any management suggestions?). The upside though, while we can’t expect any fairness from Gillon and his cronies, this year’s Toyota AFL Finals Series in scheduled to commence in the first week of spring, with historical light-meter reading data for Melbourne suggesting that time of year to be generally brighter than in winter. *By the by, I met Michael Kasprowicz once when he was a celebrity judge at a regional charity cooking contest. I tried looking for a suitable opening to deploy my ‘no-edge-baston’ pun, and seriously mangled it when I said ‘no-eggs-basting’ when one of the contestants made a crème brule. It’s true in a sense, traditional Italian recipes usually don’t call for basting the eggs, but he didn’t really get how it related to him and then kind of silently indicated that as a judge he had better concentrate on the competition.

Probably complained that time the club nearly drowned him as well. Mentally soft.

I think you're thinking R2 2012. Margetts didn't umpire that day.

After 15 seasons it's hard to tell if Demonland has finally jumped the shark or is delivering the sharpest satire around.

This is a highly creative way to have your opinion on the team's recent losses stand out from all those other opinions in all those other threads about the team's recent losses. Not even the biggest trolls on here would disagree with your bolded premise.

Just watched the replay. Jack received on his left at around 55 out (Langdon is awesome btw, so good at halving the aerial contest but keeping his balance with his body ball-side), ran five meters to straighten up and unloaded. It was a low-percentage shot, but Trac was around 20 out at the time hidden behind traffic, and there were no other obvious options. Jack didn't appear to look inboard, but it would have taken a special play to see and spot up Petracca. He really wasn't in the frame yet. (19.54 if you have Kayo).

I think of myself as a fairly decent and considerate human being. But if I've been playing the same stupid game day in and day out since I was five and there are millions of people watching with £2 million up from grabs, I probably wouldn't be spending too much time thinking about the feelings of the ball-kids during and in between points. But I can't say that for sure, because I've never played off for a Wimbledon title before (although I do know people who have). I've also been a ball-boy before in matches featuring some of the biggest names to have ever played the sport, and never took it personally when they didn't acknowledge me during the contest. They were almost all appreciate after though.

Can't tell if serious.