Mel Bourne

Please, no more co-captains. A completely unnecessary practice that brings nothing tangible except the threat of factions.

Why Lever for a leadership role? Because he was so expensive? Sorry, but there’s no way he’s earned a vice-captaincy. I feel the same way about May. Though I’m hopeful both players end up being highly-prized assets for the MFC, people seem to think their ascendancy is complete because they show glimpses of top-tier form. Far from it, they both need to have a consistent season next year to be even considered for such a role, otherwise the title is just cheapened. Gawn for captain. Vice captaincy should fall to either: Melksham, Salem, Petracca or Fritsch. In other words, players who have demonstrated both the necessary skill AND commitment to the club. Guys who have paid their dues. (Clarry was a consideration for my mind as vice-captain, right up until that pretty disappointing display last Friday).

Ah, I see. Well it’s time for me to whack on my favourite broken record then... Let’s ask Adem Yze to be our new coach.

Are we following the same league? There’s a “Clarkson” in ours but he hasn’t won seven of anything in a row.

“Tonight was unacceptable and probably reflective of where we’ve been for the year in some ways in how the game was played out. “We’re going to take responsibility. We’re in a poor position as a footy club. But we’re going to work really hard at getting ourselves out of it and the only way we’re going to do that is together. We’ve got a lot of work to do. There is no doubt we’re in a poor position right now. “I think it is a bit reflective of where we’re at. Right now, where we sit now is in a really poor position. Our supporters deserve better. We are going to fight our way out of this and we will eventually make them proud.” The guy really struggles with the spoken word.

Do Hawthorn supporters say “the kid bleeds brown and yellow”? If so, yuck.

That’s true actually. You’ll often see them together at the museum, or going to talks at the Wheeler Centre.

Ah, I thought he played for Shep but grew up in Weribee. Either way, a great distance from Mt. Buller/Sth Yarra.

If the guy wasn’t recognised as one of the best assistant coaches in the league I wouldn’t raise the issue at all. As for whether a return to the club would excite or depress him, I’m not sure that’s for you or any of us to comment on with any real authority. He’d have his reasons either way. But the things you name as deterrents didn’t faze Ron Barrassi nor a helluva lot of other people, and the game and it’s sense of tradition and lore are all the better for it. Perhaps it’s as simple as “finish what you started”. As for the no “old boys” stuff, I get it. But when I think of Adem Yze - a guy of Albanian descent, raised in a Muslim family in the west of Melbourne - I don’t get that particular MFC “old boy” vibe that I assume people take issue with .

Can you shed any light on what went down between him and the club when he departed?

With Jennings leaving, surely there must be room for a concerted campaign to make this happen. I’ve been told by posters here that his departure from the club was sour, but I haven’t been able to find any conformation on this. He spoke to the press in the lead up to the final against the Hawks (ahhhh, those were the days), and seemed genuinely pleased to see the team doing so well. Our third-highest in games played, all-Australian and one of the most effective assistant coaches in the league in terms of improved skills (especially goal-kicking). Make it happen!

What are your views on Oliver, Harmes, Brayshaw and Viney? Do you think between their chances to improve as players we can’t form an elite midfield? I’m a bit suss on Viney, and kinda worried about Angus, but I think with an in-form Milkshake and those other guys firing, our problems point almost entirely to the forward line.

Help me out here... Roos - Sydney/Fitzroy Pert - Fitzroy/Collingwood Goodwin - Adelaide/Essendon McCartney - Western Bulldogs I’m not sure the case for outside influences is particularly strong.

The best assistant coach - for us - is Adam Yze. This club needs to find it’s soul. It needs to surround itself with as many skilled people as possible, who understand it’s culture, character and it’s history and yearn to see it redeemed.

Word is that Jake Lever’s favourite AFL player of all time is Jake Lever. The plus side to his “lowlights vs highlights” reel at the MFC being dramatically skewed in favour of the former, is that his ego might settle down a bit

Heya, coming in late on this. Did we win?

TMac? He shouldn’t take on such a task when his own skills and form are in constant need of attention. Also there’s the whole Jordan Peterson/IPA thing. Shudder. Trac? I really like him, but he’s too goofy to be skip. It’s a real drag that Angus didn’t capitalise on a great ‘18. Had he taken things up a notch he would have been a fine suggestion. Max for captain. On top of all the other obvious reasons why, it’ll also make it harder for him to go to another club. With that in mind, make Clayton Oliver president or something.

Serious question: Is Simon Goodwin a bit... ...thick?

Some pretty fascinating typos happening here

I saw Alan Jones on Sunday in the Virgin lounge. All alone, sifting through the rubbish in his briefcase. He looked sad, bitter and delightfully moribund. Was tempted to provide him with some words to contemplate on his flight, but the withered existence he was barely living through seemed punishment enough.

About as matter-of-fact as it gets. You should post more Billy Boy.

Not that I plan on bailing myself, but I understand why some might. Yes, clubs need their supporters in times of need (which in the case of MFC is seemingly always). Supporters need premierships though. MFC supporters have been in a dysfunctional, all give/no take relationship for an infamously long time now, and I don’t blame some for wanting to pin a letter on the fridge.

Surely you’re not suggesting this season was an improvement on last year’s?

That pass by ABN was pretty bloody good (Are you allowed to say positive stuff about Nibbler on this website anymore?)