Mazer Rackham

To bring balance to the force, he will have to play full forward.

There is a fitness test involved. They need to see if Luke can roll his car in a suburban street on a Sunday morning. He's had 20 years to grow up. What's keeping him? Each missing front tooth: minus 1 point Each million dollars in the bank: plus 1 point Brownlow red carpet appearance: plus 1 point per year

What a start in (football) life for these boys. Picked up by the best team going around, then mentored in their training by a future star of the game and premiership player. And he's just a boy himself! GO DEMONS!!!

From the legendary tome "The Coach", about North Melbourne's 1977 season. This was when Barassi introduced very high training standards into VFL football. At the first training session, all players were required to run 3.6km in 15 minutes. If they didn't, they had to come to the next training 15 minutes early and attempt the trial. And keep doing that until they passed. Most did it within the first two training sessions but 2 weeks later there were still 5 of them attempting it. Next session. Jogged 1.5km to the training oval. Then ran laps for 4 minutes at 3/4 pace, then a rest, then another 4 minutes of laps at 3/4 pace. Then a rest, then 400m in under 60 seconds. Then 1200m in less than 5 mins. Then 400m in less than 60. Then another 400m in less than 60. (With rests between every run.) Another night sprinting. 50m in 7 seconds, 75m in 10 seconds, 100m in 14 seconds, 125 m in 18 seconds. Three sets of each. Another night of sprints. 2 x 200m in 32 seconds, 2 x 300m in 50 seconds, 1 x 400m in 70 seconds, 1 x 300m in 50 seconds, 1 x 200m in 32 seconds. Lots of variations on other nights of running & sprinting, different lengths, different mixes of run/sprint. This was before Carlton (I think it was, early '80s) started to do 100 x 100m sprints in intervals which became the benchmark for basic VFL/AFL fitness. That's 10km of sprinting with another 10km more or less of walking back to the starting line! I don't know what they do nowadays (apart from the odd mention of Gus and his 100x100s) but it must be truly frightening.

They would be inflickted with the night vapours, and suffer foul humours and for which there is no remedy, save leeches and bloodletting.

Ball work in December. Good. Keep the skills up.

I think it was exaggeration, along the lines of "he took his head off" or "he hit that into next week".

Scully, McLean,Frawley ...

Now this is a great idea. Too late now of course, but ... Tracc: 30 out on a severe angle in the pocket. Have three goes to re-do that goal. How many go through? Max: have another crack at the goal that wasn't. Can you do it? Harmesy: collect the ball at half forward and stick it on Fritta's chest. Can you do it?

When the dwarf threw our captain, that was the signal to start "that ten minutes" and that's when the crowd came to life. It became clear that everyone was waiting for "that ten minutes", and before and after was something of an anticlimax. The presentation part was something they could not have done the same way on a "pleasant Sunday morning" straight after the GF, and it was fantastic to have former champs, current (non-hungover) players, kids, wives & girlfriends ... we really are the true family club. To have Nathan and Nev included and an integral part of the ceremony was a wonderful way to acknowledge and thank them. All in all, a fulfilling and rewarding experience. We really did it! Melbourne, premiers! GO DEMONS!!!

I'm not a cryer but it did induce a small amount of moisture. Neale is royalty at both Essendon and Melbourne. Has there ever been a player or "football identity" so universally admired and respected? Everywhere above ground level is a wind pocket. It never seems like much at first but eventually it gets in your bones. In season I wear long johns and a ski jacket. Toasty warm while others around me get hypothermia.

NEWSFLASH They did kick one more

Imagine what the backstage rider list looks like. 24 dozen white lilies in milk-white porcelain vases 6 towels per band member, must be white or scarlet 20 bottles of grey goose vodka premiership for Melbourne Football Club 16 crates of Jouet Belle Epoque champagne bowls of pink musk sticks always within reach 14 native shrubs in eco-friendly planters, between 120 and 180 cms high 10+ goal victory

I'm a bit concerned that the boys have only had 2 games in 10 weeks. Expecting them to be a bit rusty.

On the other hand ... let's belt them and finish their season before it starts.

I've never known the words to that song or any of their songs really. It's just so much screeching and most are interchangeable from song to song. I copied them from a lyrics site and make some quick changes to suit a sports team. Others could do a better job no doubt.

Thursday night curtain raiser Tiges v Blues. Friday night the main event. GF replay.

How about a re-recorded Hells Bells, local band, with changed words. We're rolling thunder, pouring rain We're coming on like a hurricane Our lightning's flashing, melting the fuse You've come to play, but you're gonna lose We won't take no prisoners, won't spare our might Nobody's putting up a fight We got our bell, we're gonna put you through hell We're gonna get ya, Demons gonna belt ya Gee, I wish Brian Johnson would just ease off a turn of two of the vice he put his nuts in while recording that song. Prefer Bon.

Christ, if someone got first goal and the Norm it would pay a fortune. I wonder if we'll ever see such a thing.

Date MCG, Yarra Park or Precinct Event Event Yarra Park Car Parking Details Sunday Dec 5 MCG MFC Premiership Celebration, 10.30am Gate 3: 8.30am Gate 5: 9.00am Gate 6: Closed Gate 7: 7.00am*

334 ... that's ten Ron Barassis. Maybe we'd better keep it going.

We need to exact revenge on a few clubs to set things right. Hawks, Dons, Cats, Eagles, Pies, Tiges, Blues, Lions, Swans, Crows, Dogs, Saints, Dockers, Port, Roos, Giants and Suns come to mind.

(Serious now.) I think the club should try out that "this is me" song, as it means something to the team and their mighty effort, and you never know, it might stick. Like a viral meme, these things can't be orchestrated. You just can't predict what will resonate with the intended audience. But Hell's Bells always sounded good with the tolling bell and then the electric guitar ... and then the effect was ruined by the sudden switch to "Grand Old Flag". (Good club song but the juxtaposition didn't work.)

What about "You'll Never Walk Alone"? You'd think there'd be a massive groundswell of support for that amongst Demons supporters.

Migrated, did he? Wouldn't surprise. This team is capable of great things.