Mazer Rackham

"I signed on coz Mr Lyon said I won't have to run too hard, and I can have lots of days off to surf, I won't have to give up the cancer sticks, and I can finish training whenever I want. And he won't yell at me. Isn't that right, Mr Lyon?" "That's right, Jesse ... heh heh heh ... that's right, son."

From the way he's standing, it looks like his foot is buggered. And there's a haunted look in his eyes, like a bloke seriously troubled by something. Dodged a bullet

Perth FC? He'd be better off at West Perth, at least he'd know the song

By my calculations, we are now on page 475

Our hidden mics captured the farewell address. Transcription follows: "Oh well, um, look, alright, ummmmmm ….. is this thing on? Um, well boys, I, um ... I s’pose you’re all wond’rin’ why I’m … AW SHUDDUP MAX. Look, um …. Oh, I dunno. Me hands are shakin’. Anyone got a light? Look, this is some f**kin’ bullsh*t. ….. Why are yez all starin’ at me? You blokes knew I was goin’ off back West, right? No? What? Oh, nah, yeah, nah, I was always goin’—aw, f**k you Clarry! Who gives a f**k? The f**k? You f**kin [censored]. Nah, f**k you. I was gunna say, I love yez all, but if yez are gunna--- nah, f**k you. F**k the lot of yez. Nah, f**k off. No, YOU f**k off. Just f**k off. Ah, f**k this. "

Edit it to include something about biscuits and it will be gone in a flash

All fair enough, but selling a player is not like selling a lounge suite on gumtree. It's not an open market. There are limited buyers, and the way the industry works, often the buyer knows your weak points before talks even start. Jesse spilled the beans to Freo that he wasn't going to sign with us. We didn't have much leverage. We got what we could and move on. For those who say, we should have waited a year and hoped for a bidding war between FFC and WCE. (And got May for cheap.) Try telling the competitive beasts on our list that we're sitting on our hands for a year and then hope the stars align. The time to move is now, we did, and we got something significant back. There's only one direction, and that's forward. GO DEMONS!

He's the kind of bloke who would do his ankle in the prelim and watch on while his teammates did it. Every "milestone" win we've had, starting from Kardinia Park in '16, he's missed out on

I think this is it. A committed Jesse would have been dynamite -- he's a hell of a player -- but he always gave off the vibe he was most content being a big fish in a small pond. At Freo they will indulge him and he'll earn himself a comfortable living, and good luck to him. Will get a WA derby each year to give him a taste of the big time. Over here, Goodwin is making a team that takes no prisoners. Anyone even half resembling a passenger will find it hard to look his teammates in the eye.

Who doesn't, but there are special websites for that

The way people are talking about "bent over", it must be some kind of biscuit I've not heard of

Late plot twist, we got him back again with pick 28

Oh christ. Better hope the mods don't see that. Keep airwaves free of frivolity and irrelevance in light of imminent Hogan announcements. All posts restricted to 200 characters

Harsh. This is a game of poker where Hogan has told Bell what cards Mahoney is holding. It's a lot easier to play hardball when you already know the guy isn't going to renew and you don't have to pay extra to lure him out.

the heavy hand of demonland has forced a ban on our tim tams this rigourous swat reminds this lot to refocus our thought on three fourths of aught

Back off charlie. We're making a lot more progress on the classification of biscuits than you are on your precious Hogan trade.

Sorry. The list includes Oreos which by itself shows that the author lacks the experience, judgement and acumen to even know about a class biscuit like the Venetian.

There's no question that Wagon Wheels are the king of biscuits. But the fact that Oreos made it on to the list at all shows that the author has no idea about anything, least of all biscuits, and is likely a negotiator for Fremantle.

Yeah, well, I AM Jess Hogan, and all I ever wanted was ..... to darnce!

I believe Hillary Clinton flew a faked Apollo 11 through the twin towers to make everyone think the earth is round. Which probably explains a lot of other things about me. (you're right)

Paul Connors: (thinks) let's see, how are we looking .... 4.5 million dollars, 0 credibilities .... total score ... 4.5 million dollars. Lookin' good.

Of course you are entitled to your own view. But according to my sources, who may or may not exist, and who are both shadowy and of impeccable repute, and eventually, something WILL happen, except in the situation where it doesn't.

I've read all 329 pages and I'm convinced he's doing both.

... that tackler is a Nigerian prince whose father the king has been imprisoned by military plotters and his $100m fortune has been frozen by banks. And PB has been specially selected to gain 10% of that for a small favour ...

5 minutes prior to that ... PB's wife: you knew I was looking forward to that car! You've embarrassed me. You go right back and apologise and buy it!!! Or no nookie for the next ...... forever!!!!!!