Mazer Rackham

♫ I'm Braydon, your Brand New Gunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ♪

What's that? The chemical name of KY jelly?

We should look into that. It's a lot less than we're paying C'wood for Gosch's.

Still can't kick 50m

OK this one was considerably harder but here goes ... A) Wonaeamirri B) Crosswell C) Connolly D) Neitz E) Spalding F) Fanning G) Lyon H) Lumumba I) Ridley J) Tilbrook

These are pretty easy. 1. May 2. Jones 3. Salem 4. Harmes 5. Petracca 6. Lewis 7. Viney 8. Lever 9. Spargo 10. Brayshaw

The stories are real. Maybe the exact dollar amounts are ginned up, but "top" youtube "millionaires" can and do make tens of thousands of dollars every month, some even into the hundreds. The cost is, their audience is fickle and will ruthlessly flick over to a newer and shinier OMG-you-simply-must-see-this youtube channel at the drop of a hat, so the content providers live in constant fear of an audience drop off (and hence $$$) and end up literally working around the clock to make exciting new content. Some practically never leave their gilded high rise luxury accommodation because "having a life" becomes extraneous. They burn out sooner or later, with presumably some having held on to their riches and others burning through them, left only with stories to tell down the pub. It's a modern gold rush.

In Soviet Russia, chest tells Jack Watts it likes YOU

Master Po: It is just the notion of social evaluative contribution based on formative reasoning that differs and then it might progressively change to interpersonal evaluative judgements - depending on one's own haste for that change, itself. Grasshopper: uh .... right. Do you reckon Jesse is going to kick a bag when he plays us?

They say on dark nights ... just like that one ... about 3am on the Freo foreshore, when the DJ has packed up his gear and gone home and the night is still and quiet, you can hear the sound of a power forward ralphing into the lapping waves below

There's one where he's wearing a Dockers jumper. An act of rash stupidity that a number of young men these days unfortunately indulge in.

...tually .... ually .... ally ... ly ....

Now that Dan has seen off the Richmond nimbys, and the upper house looking within reach too, he will be able to ram through our new training ground without any opposition. Do it quickly Dan, so it's complete by the next election.

Top 6 teams, middle 6, bottom 6, from previous season. Play the teams in your bracket of 6 twice = 10 games. Play the others once = 12 games. 22 round season.

And in a 17-round season, when we still end up having to play Geel at Geel every year, and WCE in Perth every year, and Collingwood don't travel much, and Fri night games are still manipulated and favourites rewarded, will people still think it's right? Being 17 rounds doesn't automatically make it right or fair. It's still wide open for fixing.

"Enjoy having AFL accreditation do you? No ... no ... of course I'm not threatening anything. We're all pals here, you know. I'm just asking a simple question. I mean, you wouldn't want to do anything to make me take it away. No one would want that, would we? Now, there's plenty of good news about all Collingwood's night games and all the blockbusters. Why don't you run along and write something about that, hmm? Hmm? Good lad."

Don't worry, by the time it's over, the media will know it to be Ed's idea, Ed's initiative, all the work behind it done by Ed & CFC, and Ed the biggest champion of MND in Oz. And Ed graciously allowed us to tag along on Ed's Neale's big day.

"I, Eddie McGuire, the Collingwood Football Club (the two things being the one indivisible entity), actual controller of all things AFL, hereby grant the hapless MFC the gift of CFC playing one more game at the G, of the CFC not having to travel, and of the CFC reaping the $$$ from its social club in the Ponsford stand. You may now rise." I'm okay with sharing it. But it's not Eddie's to give or take away.

Dockers fans in a panic as he was seen smiling

High maintenance girlfriend. Tall, beautiful, built, the envy of every other guy. But eventually you have to cut yourself loose. For your own good.

Jesse’s best friend is a My Little Pony he carries everywhere. He talks to it and has whispered giggly conversations with it. That’s why he was seen as aloof. It attended all team meetings and had to be addressed as Your Royal Horseness. Players, coaches, trainers, all had to salute His Royal Horseness or Jesse would go home. Jesse would consult it before every training session to see if it was in the mood for him to participate. If His Royal Horseness refused permission, Jesse would not train. If the toy ever went missing, Jesse would throw hysterical tantrums and occasionally doctors had to be called. Finally Mahoney had had enough and brought in a horse from a Barbie set and used it to intimidate His Royal Horseness. Unfortunately he went too far and Jesse’s toy ordered Jesse to look elsewhere. Jesse felt he had no choice but to comply. Sounds like a nightmare.

I remember the day the omelettes were good in Dubai. You were there too? Small world. I didn't see Leoncelli but I did ask some bloke if there was any bacon going. He muttered something in Arabic and wandered off. Ah, the memories.

Funny, that's not how he remembers it!