Chelly

Biffinator! Good on you for apologising to John Fidge. It's the right thing to do. Now, could you do the rest of us all a favour and get rid of that disgusting character on your avatar please. In fact, if there are any images of John or Ted Fidge going around the internet, I think you owe it to them to replace Elvis with one of the Fidges.

Michael Neale Voss?

In the light of Ireland's overwhelming success at the Cricket World Cup, we nead an Irishman to coach us, or at least someone with an Irish sounding name. I therefore nominate Ryan O'Neal (OK so he's a washed up actor that nobody's heard from for yonks but at least it's different).

It would also assist if the rest of the players had an emotional attachment to winning the four premiership points too!

It hasn't escaped me that Monday's big blockbuster between Hawthorn and Melbourne is being played between the two bottom teams on the AFL ladder. Last year, when the two bottom teams - Carlton and Essendon played each other, it was for the Bryce Gibbs Cup because the prize was young Gibbs. So this Monday it's the Matt Kreuzer Cup with the prize being a 200cm tall, athletic ruckman who plays for the Northern Knights.

Did we have one tonight? If so, could someone please explain it to me and then send a message to the players to explain it to them.

So big deal - West Coast has eight players who are regular drug takers and a few of them have gangland connections. That's nothing! Nothing compared to Carlton which is the most well connected club of all. They've had prime ministers, millionaires and gangland figures aplenty and they have even lent some of them their most coveted possessions, e.g. their 1982 premiership pennant which has lately been in the possession of some of the leading mobsters in this fair city GANGLAND FAMILY HELD FLAG. Mind you, some of those gangsters are more respectable than the Prime Ministers and millionaires who have supported them over the years .

Carey's not the only one with that view. There are a few northerners who are not happy with the way their side dies in the backside after holding a 37 point lead halfway through the third quarter and with Laidley's casual response to it all. Meanwhile, it seems Hayes is in trouble. He had a 50m penalty awarded against him in the incident, it was a high contact tackle and he has form.

Whoever answers this question, could you also please find out what's happened to Daniel Hayes for dazzledavey36 while you're at it!

What's this talk of hysteria? Surely, it's not hysterical to discuss whether the style of game we are practising is going to advance us in the regular season or whether or not we're executing it properly? Or is there an attempt to shut down discussion about a team that's not been particulalrly impressive over the past week or so (even allowing for the players missing and the fact that we might not have had the same preparation as our opposition)?

That's somewhat of an understatement but it's not entirely correct. The problem is not the over-use of handball, rather it's the poor execution of the handball. Used properly handball can be a potent weapon; but we're simply not using it properly, efficiently or effectively. I wasn't at the game but some friends who went said it was appalling again this week and our poor execution in the first quarter prevented us from opening a dominant lead early. In short, our handballing is too short and the way we use it just isn't creative. Instead of opening up the play to running targets who can move the ball quickly, we're handballing short and slow to players who are static and this often gets them into trouble. "Run and carry" is a fine buzzword but if you run and carry the football into the opposition's arms, it's NFG. We need to improve drastically in this area and yes, it's a practice game but a very good coach once said that perfect practice makes perfect. If that's so, we're in trouble, practice match or not - missing players or not.

"When Anderson hands down his decision today, or tomorrow at the latest, he will be aware that to suspend the punters — none of whom bet against their own sides — would be to concede that within AFL rules, their crimes were worse than that of a violent drunk." Not to mention a trio of drug takers who have been caught offending twice and whose names are protected by the law! It may well be fortunate for Wardy that Adelaide's Simon Goodwin is one of the other players involved. The word sweeping Adelaide is that the Crows would be mighty upset if Anderson came down with a sledgehammer on one of their top players.

According to the Herald Sun Jeff White did suffer a minor fracture last Tuesday but it's only minor and is not the reason why he's out of the Hawks' clash tomorrow. He will sit out the game to give Mark Jamar and Paul Johnson a run. It's fair enough to rest our # 1 ruckman for this Mickey Mouse Nab Cup stuff but this raises another issue that's been a bit of a bugbear with me for a long time. OK. I understood from the news earlier in the week that there was no fracture and that Jeff was ok. Now he's got a fracture. I just wish that the club with be a bit more transparent with its injury news. Where is Colin Sylvia at right at this moment? What about Travis and Brock's injuries? The Flash, Bartram and Paul Wheatley? Are the injuries to these players all top secret information or should it be shared with the fans?

So instead of getting three different interpretations of the rules during a game we're going to get nine. Lovely!

Jared Rivers is the latest AFL defender to voice his unease about the controversial new rule which potentially will revolutionise how backmen play - It will be tough for us

2007 NAB Cup – Broadcast Details (Victoria) Friday February 23 Port Adelaide v Adelaide - AAMI Stadium (N) – Foxtel Kangaroos v Collingwood – Gold Coast Stadium (N) – Channel Seven Saturday February 24 Western Bulldogs v Sydney – Manuka Oval – Foxtel Carlton v Essendon – Telstra Dome (N) – Network Ten St Kilda v Brisbane Lions – Cazaly Stadium – (N) – Channel Seven Sunday 25 February Geelong v Richmond – Skilled Stadium – Network Ten Melbourne v Hawthorn – Telstra Dome (N) – Foxtel Fremantle v West Coast – Subiaco (N) - Foxtel

Seems to me that Collingwood are pretty happy with the way their bloke played in his first practice game against the Swans up in Sydney last night.

That's another thing I like about him - the willingness to make enormous sacrifices for his footy team .

No you're right. Someone helped him lift the weights.

Everything's changed since [censored] Pratt became President of Enron. They now have enough money to bail out Lance Whitnall and Heath Scotland if they happen to land in ot water after this morning's 5 am altercation outside a Ballarat Pub. More power to the Enron Football Club. Keeping the Blues in the news by engaging in Blues!

Que?

I don't think anybody has seriously considered that we have another captain in 2007. Neita's supposed to be firing at pre season training and although that's a worn and tired old cliche at this time of year, it's true with the skipper. He has to stay for at least another year and then he can hand the reins over to Brock.

FWIW I haven't gotten over that game either.

OK. Let's assume that political stability is important. Will it affect Carlton at all seeing that the first Nab Cup doesn't take place until about three weeks after their election? I reckon it will all have died down by then and it certainly won't affect them by Round 1.

On the subject, is Melbourne's Nab Cup jumper the same as last year's or is there a change this year?