Demonland

Guys, I've already finished the banner and there are no past players. We've done that and it's time to move forward. The banner is completed and a new player will be revealed each day leading up to the game against the Saints. i appreciate the suggestions but I can't please everyone. I also can't just change the banner every few days or weeks as it takes a bit of time to do.

Thanks. A new player will go up each day.All current day players. Enough looking back. It's time to look forward.

Unless they have since deleted their tweets I cannot find one tweet relating to the sacking of Mark Neeld by a current Melbourne player. Can anyone provide a link?

What did he say?

And here is a link to the story: St Kilda forward charged with rape

Beamer was in the middle on Lenny Hayes who took his pants down. The beginning of the end? Karma??? ST. KILDA Backs Jarryn Geary James Gwilt Tom Simpkin Half backs Sean Dempster Sam Fisher Sam Gilbert Centreline Farren Ray Lenny Hayes Brendon Goddard Half forwards Ahmed Saad Nick Riewoldt Nick Dal Santo Forwards Stephen Milne Justin Koschitzke Sam Dunell Followers Ben McEvoy David Armitage Leigh Montagna Interchange Jason Gram Clinton Jones Jack Steven Beau Wilkes Emergencies Jamie Cripps Tom Ledger Dean Polo In Beau Wilkes Out Dean Polo MELBOURNE Backs Joel Macdonald James Sellar Tom McDonald Half backs Lynden Dunn Matthew Bate Colin Garland Centreline Jack Trengove Brent Moloney Sam Blease Half forwards Neville Jetta Jared Rivers Rohan Bail Forwards Jeremy Howe Brad Green Colin Sylvia Followers Jake Spencer Jack Grimes Nathan Jones Interchange Jordie McKenzie James Magner James Strauss Luke Tapscott Emergencies Michael Evans Jack Fitzpatrick Jordan Gysberts In Matthew Bate Neville Jetta Jordie McKenzie Out James Frawley (quad) Jordan Gysberts Cale Morton (shoulder)

Continue the discussion here: http://demonland.com/forums/index.php?/topic/34223-neeld-sacked-with-craig-as-interim/

No, let me do it.

Continue the discussion here: http://demonland.com/forums/index.php?/topic/34223-neeld-sacked-with-craig-as-interim/

You can continue the discussion here: http://demonland.com/forums/index.php?/topic/34223-neeld-sacked-with-craig-as-interim/

This thread is now closed comrades.

If you can't laugh at yourselves then who can you laugh at. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=553867591342220&set=vb.113208555377897&type=2&theater

PROGRESS VOTING ROUND 11 97. Nathan Jones 85. Colin Garland 74. Matt Jones 55. Jeremy Howe 42. Dean Terlich 40. James Frawley 39. Jack Viney 36. Colin Sylvia 26. Jack Grimes 24. Aaron Davey 23. Shannon Byrnes Michael Evans 16. Max Gawn 14. Chris Dawes 12. James Magner 11. Luke Tapscott 8. Mitch Clark Jack Trengove Jack Watts 6. Lynden Dunn Tom McDonald 5. Cam Pedersen 4. Jordie McKenzie 3. Mark Jamar Dean Kent 2. Rohan Bail David Rodan 1. Sam Blease

MELBOURNE'S GRAND FINAL ... or the last game of the season for a good number of players? What a simply pathetic display, yet again, by the group of players that turned out against Collingwood on the QB holiday? And it was a good holiday for a lot of them, as (yet again) they failed to put in any serious effort, and (yet again ) disgraced the history and pride of both the Club and its long suffering supporters. The Collingwood coach paternalistically alluded to the game being "Melbourne's Grand Final"; probably because there is little likelihood of seeing another one for most of our supporters, especially the older ones. But also we have become so irrelevant in the competition, that a single game is now seen as the pinnacle achievable for the club. How pathetic is that? How demoralizing? The only real connection is since the GF is the last game of the season, hopefully we have seen the last game for the season for the usual group of lazy culprits! When Col Garland busts his guts out (yet again) playing on Cloke, giving away height and weight and has to watch the half-hearted efforts of those up the field, it was no surprise that he finally lost it with them. It would have been good to be a fly on the wall in the rooms afterwards to hear the tongue lashing that some rightly deserved. Good to see Tommy Mac back and capably assisting him, but the shocker put in by Lynden Dunn with eight turnovers by foot alone, undid all the hard work of the backline. Not that the mids were any better, save for Terlich and Jones x2 (yet again). Sylvia returned to his usual form (yet again), picking up the easy outside kicks and not running and chasing. Jordie McKenzie has turned into a liability by refusing to kick the ball under any circumstances (yet again). And the coach must take some heat for putting Jeremy Howe in the middle. A plodding Magner would at least get his hand on the leather at some time, if he would only get the opportunity. But Jeremy, the forward who can mark, playing in the mid-field ... please spare me! Jack Watts is playing with the same level of interest as Buddy Franklin at Hawthorn. Unless someone kicks it down his throat, he simply will not go anywhere near the ball (yet again), or his opponent until they are 10 metres down the field and running away (yet again). Another 15 goal, or thereabouts loss (yet again) and the supporters can only look forward to the bye, because the team won't lose by 15 goals next week. One goal (yet again) in a half of football is simply disgraceful by any standards. This IS without any shadow of a doubt the worst team that has played for the MFC. At least in the terrible 80s we could go to see Robbie Flower show his wares, but even if the rest of the team were no good as footballers, they would try. Today the team's score was kicked by 3 players, none of who actually play in the forward line! If the MFC site puts up "5 things we have learnt" again this week (yet again) there should be a prosecution made by the ACCC for false advertising because it is patently clear that since Round 1 the players have learned absolutely and completely NOTHING. If the Club and the AFL are concerned about attendances at MFC games, they should now be terrified. There is no possibility that any self-respecting supporter can continue or even think about turning up to watch the gutless performances put on by this group (yet again). Grand Final game for Melbourne? Tell em you're dreaming ... it wasn't a game of a standard fit for suburban footy (yet again). Melbourne 1.5.11 1.7.13 3.9.27 5.9.39 Collingwood 1.6.12 7.11.53 12.15.87 17.20.122 Goals Melbourne Davey Trengove 2 Blease Collingwood Cloke Kennedy Martin 3 J Thomas 2 Didak Lynch Macaffer Pendlebury O'Brien Swan Best Melbourne Garland McDonald M Jones Terlich N Jones Collingwood Swan Ball Shaw Pendlebury J Thomas O'Brien Changes Melbourne Nil. Collingwood Elliott replaced by Oxley Injuries Melbourne Dawes (ankle) McKenzie (mouth) Collingwood Nil. Reports Melbourne Nil. Collingwood Nil. Umpires McBurney Margetts Kamolins Official crowd 50,835 at the MCG

Game over - POSTMATCH DISCUSSION

MELBOURNE'S GRAND FINAL ... or the last game of the season for a good number of players? by George on the Outer What a simply pathetic display, yet again, by the group of players that turned out against Collingwood on the QB holiday? And it was a good holiday for a lot of them, as (yet again) they failed to put in any serious effort, and (yet again ) disgraced the history and pride of both the Club and its long suffering supporters. The Collingwood coach paternalistically alluded to the game being "Melbourne's Grand Final"; probably because there is little likelihood of seeing another one for most of our supporters, especially the older ones. But also we have become so irrelevant in the competition, that a single game is now seen as the pinnacle achievable for the club. How pathetic is that? How demoralizing? The only real connection is since the GF is the last game of the season, hopefully we have seen the last game for the season for the usual group of lazy culprits! When Col Garland busts his guts out (yet again) playing on Cloke, giving away height and weight and has to watch the half-hearted efforts of those up the field, it was no surprise that he finally lost it with them. It would have been good to be a fly on the wall in the rooms afterwards to hear the tongue lashing that some rightly deserved. Good to see Tommy Mac back and capably assisting him, but the shocker put in by Lynden Dunn with eight turnovers by foot alone, undid all the hard work of the backline. Not that the mids were any better, save for Terlich and Jones x2 (yet again). Sylvia returned to his usual form (yet again), picking up the easy outside kicks and not running and chasing. Jordie McKenzie has turned into a liability by refusing to kick the ball under any circumstances (yet again). And the coach must take some heat for putting Jeremy Howe in the middle. A plodding Magner would at least get his hand on the leather at some time, if he would only get the opportunity. But Jeremy, the forward who can mark, playing in the mid-field ... please spare me! Jack Watts is playing with the same level of interest as Buddy Franklin at Hawthorn. Unless someone kicks it down his throat, he simply will not go anywhere near the ball (yet again), or his opponent until they are 10 metres down the field and running away (yet again). Another 15 goal, or thereabouts loss (yet again) and the supporters can only look forward to the bye, because the team won't lose by 15 goals next week. One goal (yet again) in a half of football is simply disgraceful by any standards. This IS without any shadow of a doubt the worst team that has played for the MFC. At least in the terrible 80s we could go to see Robbie Flower show his wares, but even if the rest of the team were no good as footballers, they would try. Today the team's score was kicked by 3 players, none of who actually play in the forward line! If the MFC site puts up "5 things we have learnt" again this week (yet again) there should be a prosecution made by the ACCC for false advertising because it is patently clear that since Round 1 the players have learned absolutely and completely NOTHING. If the Club and the AFL are concerned about attendances at MFC games, they should now be terrified. There is no possibility that any self-respecting supporter can continue or even think about turning up to watch the gutless performances put on by this group (yet again). Grand Final game for Melbourne? Tell em you're dreaming ... it wasn't a game of a standard fit for suburban footy (yet again). Melbourne 1.5.11 1.7.13 3.9.27 5.9.39 Collingwood 1.6.12 7.11.53 12.15.87 17.20.122 Goals Melbourne Davey Trengove 2 Blease Collingwood Cloke Kennedy Martin 3 J Thomas 2 Didak Lynch Macaffer Pendlebury O'Brien Swan Best Melbourne Garland McDonald M Jones Terlich N Jones Collingwood Swan Ball Shaw Pendlebury J Thomas O'Brien Changes Melbourne Nil. Collingwood Elliott replaced by Oxley Injuries Melbourne Dawes (ankle) McKenzie (mouth) Collingwood Nil. Reports Melbourne Nil. Collingwood Nil. Umpires McBurney Margetts Kamolins Official crowd 50,835 at the MCG

Won't happen. Oxley's the sub. Tappy's ours.

6,5,4,3,2,1 ... thank you

The Casey Scorpions grabbed top spot on the VFL ladder and ruffled a few Magpie feathers after hammering finals aspirants Collingwood to the tune of a crushing 90-points at Casey Fields on Saturday. The Scorpion onslaught was led all day by midfield ball magnets Paul Couch who amassed 39 disposals and James Magner who had two touches less. Together, they dominated the stoppages and general play and were aided and abetted by some top notch ruckwork from Jake Spencer (19 hit outs to go with his three goals) and the emerging beanpole Max Gawn. Up forward, young key position player Jesse Hogan belied his tender age of 18 with strong marking and tireless work around the ground. The young tyro managed 15 possesions, taking 9 marks and had his kicking been on target (he scored 2.3) the rout would certainly have exceeded the 100-point mark. Former North Melbourne rookie Ben Hughes also chimed in with three nice goals. The Magpies opened brightly under the sunny skies and had most of the early play but once the home team adapted to the chilly breezes, it faced little resistance winning every quarter and coasting effortlessly to a 15 goal win. Indeed, apart from a little biffo and remonstrating at one stage in proceedings, the visitors hardly did justice to the jumper. However, they were beaten by a very good side. The Casey defence was strong with Troy Davis and Luke Tynan not only proving to be impassable but also providing countless springboards into attack. They finished with 27 and 26 disposals respectively and together with their fellow defenders, kept the Magpies down to a measly seven goals, less than half their average over their now broken three week winning streak against Geelong, Essendon and the Northern Blues. Davis, now in his third year on the Melbourne list and yet to play a game at AFL level is finally staking a claim for promotion. Casey's ruck dominance was achieved against a strong tall man division which included Ben Hudson and Jarrod Witts who along with Gawn at 208cm, is equal second tallest current AFL behind injured Docker Aaron Sandilands. Late inclusion Shannon Byrnes livened up the forward line with a couple of goals, a feat matched by Casey-South Melbourne cricket captain Jake Best. Twenty-third man Jarryd Drew got into the action with a goal after the final siren to cap off a great day on which the club also ran a successful debt demolition function before the game. The team has a break next week with the bye before taking on the Coburg Tigers at home on 23 June. The Development League team which rested this week, play away next weekend to fourth placed Werribee Tigers. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Shannon Byrnes 14 kicks 5 handballs 19 disposals 5 marks 2 tackles 2 goals Mitchell Clisby 11 kicks 8 handballs 19 disposals 5 marks 2 tackles Thomas Couch 11 kicks 28 handballs 39 disposals 5 marks 2 tackles 2 goals Troy Davis 14 kicks 13 handballs 27 disposals 5 marks 1 tackles Max Gawn 9 kicks 8 handballs 17 disposals 3 marks 26 hit outs 1 goal Thomas Gillies 8 kicks 7 handballs 15 disposals 4 marks 3 tackles Jesse Hogan 11 kicks 4 handballs 15 disposals 10 marks 2 tackles 3 hit outs 2 goals 3 behinds Neville Jetta 8 kicks 5 handballs 13 disposals 5 marks 8 tackles 2 goals James Magner 22 kicks 15 handballs 37 disposals 7 marks 5 tackles 1 goal 2 behinds Daniel Nicholson 16 kicks 11 handballs 27 disposals 1 mark 4 tackles James Sellar 6 kicks 7 handballs 13 disposals 6 marks Jake Spencer 9 kicks 5 handballs 14 disposals 7 marks 3 tackles 19 hit outs 3 goals 3 behinds James Strauss 7 kicks 7 handballs 14 disposals 3 marks 4 tackles Rory Taggert 7 kicks 4 handballs 11 disposals 4 marks 3 tackles Joshua Tynan 13 kicks 6 handballs 19 disposals 7 marks 8 tackles Casey Scorpions 5.3.33 9.7.61 14.11.95 21.15.141 Collingwood 2.1.13 3.3.21 5.6.36 7.9.51 Goals Casey Scorpions Goals Hughes Spencer 3 Best Byrnes Couch Hogan Jetta 2 Drew Gawn Gent Petropoulos Magner Collingwood Broomhead 2 Clarke Hudson Mooney Paine Best Casey Scorpions Couch Magner L Tynan Hogan Davis Spencer Collingwood Mooney Allan Yagmoor Broomhead Riddle Hellier

RUFFLED FEATHERS by KC from Casey The Casey Scorpions grabbed top spot on the VFL ladder and ruffled a few Magpie feathers after hammering finals aspirants Collingwood to the tune of a crushing 90-points at Casey Fields on Saturday. The Scorpion onslaught was led all day by midfield ball magnets Paul Couch who amassed 39 disposals and James Magner who had two touches less. Together, they dominated the stoppages and general play and were aided and abetted by some top notch ruckwork from Jake Spencer (19 hit outs to go with his three goals) and the emerging beanpole Max Gawn. Up forward, young key position player Jesse Hogan belied his tender age of 18 with strong marking and tireless work around the ground. The young tyro managed 15 possesions, taking 9 marks and had his kicking been on target (he scored 2.3) the rout would certainly have exceeded the 100-point mark. Former North Melbourne rookie Ben Hughes also chimed in with three nice goals. The Magpies opened brightly under the sunny skies and had most of the early play but once the home team adapted to the chilly breezes, it faced little resistance winning every quarter and coasting effortlessly to a 15 goal win. Indeed, apart from a little biffo and remonstrating at one stage in proceedings, the visitors hardly did justice to the jumper. However, they were beaten by a very good side. The Casey defence was strong with Troy Davis and Luke Tynan not only proving to be impassable but also providing countless springboards into attack. They finished with 27 and 26 disposals respectively and together with their fellow defenders, kept the Magpies down to a measly seven goals, less than half their average over their now broken three week winning streak against Geelong, Essendon and the Northern Blues. Davis, now in his third year on the Melbourne list and yet to play a game at AFL level is finally staking a claim for promotion. Casey's ruck dominance was achieved against a strong tall man division which included Ben Hudson and Jarrod Witts who along with Gawn at 208cm, is equal second tallest current AFL behind injured Docker Aaron Sandilands. Late inclusion Shannon Byrnes livened up the forward line with a couple of goals, a feat matched by Casey-South Melbourne cricket captain Jake Best. Twenty-third man Jarryd Drew got into the action with a goal after the final siren to cap off a great day on which the club also ran a successful debt demolition function before the game. The team has a break next week with the bye before taking on the Coburg Tigers at home on 23 June. The Development League team which rested this week, play away next weekend to fourth placed Werribee Tigers. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Shannon Byrnes 14 kicks 5 handballs 19 disposals 5 marks 2 tackles 2 goals Mitchell Clisby 11 kicks 8 handballs 19 disposals 5 marks 2 tackles Thomas Couch 11 kicks 28 handballs 39 disposals 5 marks 2 tackles 2 goals Troy Davis 14 kicks 13 handballs 27 disposals 5 marks 1 tackles Max Gawn 9 kicks 8 handballs 17 disposals 3 marks 26 hit outs 1 goal Thomas Gillies 8 kicks 7 handballs 15 disposals 4 marks 3 tackles Jesse Hogan 11 kicks 4 handballs 15 disposals 10 marks 2 tackles 3 hit outs 2 goals 3 behinds Neville Jetta 8 kicks 5 handballs 13 disposals 5 marks 8 tackles 2 goals James Magner 22 kicks 15 handballs 37 disposals 7 marks 5 tackles 1 goal 2 behinds Daniel Nicholson 16 kicks 11 handballs 27 disposals 1 mark 4 tackles James Sellar 6 kicks 7 handballs 13 disposals 6 marks Jake Spencer 9 kicks 5 handballs 14 disposals 7 marks 3 tackles 19 hit outs 3 goals 3 behinds James Strauss 7 kicks 7 handballs 14 disposals 3 marks 4 tackles Rory Taggert 7 kicks 4 handballs 11 disposals 4 marks 3 tackles Joshua Tynan 13 kicks 6 handballs 19 disposals 7 marks 8 tackles Casey Scorpions 5.3.33 9.7.61 14.11.95 21.15.141 Collingwood 2.1.13 3.3.21 5.6.36 7.9.51 Goals Casey Scorpions Goals Hughes Spencer 3 Best Byrnes Couch Hogan Jetta 2 Drew Gawn Gent Petropoulos Magner Collingwood Broomhead 2 Clarke Hudson Mooney Paine Best Casey Scorpions Couch Magner L Tynan Hogan Davis Spencer Collingwood Mooney Allan Yagmoor Broomhead Riddle Hellier

HORSE FEATHERS by Whispering Jack Alison Caldwell on the ABC on Mark Neeld this week: The name Ms. Caldwell was probably struggling to find was Quincy Adams Wagstaff who, like Neeld, is an educator. Here's Wagstaff in action: According to some, Melbourne needs a coach who is against everything; who will try nothing and do nothing in order to keep the level of the media's concentration on its current plight. Wagstaff presents the ideal scenario for the Demons but what makes him so appealing is the fact that he has several brothers who can act as his able assistants including brother Pinky who would make an excellent spokesperson for the club because he never talks. There's so much white noise reverberating around the club at this time that Pinky's role should be a welcome addition in place of the random meaningless talk that abounds around and about the club. We need more action and less talk. Some of the talk in recent times has been particularly destructive but a some of it might have been helpful. However, while it might be well-intentioned (e.g. this), its all horse feathers - stuff of which weve already been made well aware and know and is therefore better left unsaid and dealt with in the manner in which Pinky deals with such things. The only unfortunate aspect of Wagstaff's appointment as coach in the place of Mark Neeld (if indeed, he is the man who's name Ms. Caldwell can't remember) is that the new coach cannot bring to the club the action that's needed to win games. Why? Because he's against it! THE GAME Melbourne v. Collingwood at the MCG Monday 10 June 2013 at 3.20pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall Melbourne 79 wins Collingwood 143 wins 5 draws At the MCG Melbourne 59 wins Collingwood 76 wins 3 draws Since 2000 Melbourne 5 wins Collingwood 10 wins 1 draw The Coaches Neeld 0 wins Buckley 1 win MEDIA TV - Channel 7 & Fox Footy Channel live from 3.00pm. RADIO - SEN ABC 3AW Triple M THE BETTING Melbourne to win $ 17.00 Collingwood to win $1.01 LAST TIME THEY MET Collingwood 19.15.129 defeated Melbourne 13.9.87 in Round 11, 2012 at the MCG. Melbourne started poorly and conceded six goals to nil in the first quarter before regrouping and showing some of the spirit that had been missing for most of the season. With Jones and Grimes working hard in the midfield and Clark and Howe livening up the forward line, they threatened but unfortunately, some dreadful turnovers prevented them from getting close before the Pies reasserted their position. THE TEAMS MELBOURNE Backs Lynden Dunn Cameron Pedersen Dean Terlich Half backs Colin Garland Tom McDonald Sam Blease Centreline Jack Trengove Colin Sylvia Michael Evans Half forwards Jeremy Howe Jack Fitzpatrick Jack Watts Forwards David Rodan Chris Dawes Aaron Davey Followers Mark Jamar Matt Jones Nathan Jones Interchange Dean Kent Jordie McKenzie Luke Tapscott Jimmy Toumpas Emergencies Rohan Bail Max Gawn James Sellar In Sam Blease Max Gawn Tom McDonald Colin Sylvia Out Rohan Bail James Frawley (hamstring) Joel Macdonald (foot) James Strauss COLLINGWOOD Backs Nathan Brown Ben Reid Heritier O'Brien Half backs Heath Shaw Nick Maxwell Marley Williams Centreline Steele Sidebottom Brent Macaffer Luke Ball Half forwards Jamie Elliott Quinten Lynch Dane Swan Forwards Ben Kennedy Travis Cloke Alan Didak Followers Darren Jolly Scott Pendlebury Jarryd Blair Interchange Josh Thomas Ben Sinclair Kyle Martin Paul Seedsman Emergencies Martin Clarke Jackson Paine Adam Oxley In Travis Cloke Ben Sinclair Out Martin Clarke Andrew Krakouer DUCK SOUP As if the unfortunate Ms. Caldwell's remarks weren't sufficient evidence of the media's descent into some sort of collective madness presaged recently by the incoherent rantings of the chief football writer for a former broadsheet now turned tabloid but unworthy of wrapping fish 'n chips, this takes the potato cake:- That's right folks. Even the once mighty Kiss of Death has taken leave of his/her/its senses and predicts Collingwood will fall to Melbourne by a margin of 13 points. Appropriately, there's a Men's Grand Slam singles final on the night before the game which allows me to segue beautifully into one of the greatest quotes from the history of such tournaments:- The whole world knows that Melbourne's average winning margin in matches this season is an AFL high of 41 points. With the eyes of the football world well and truly upon us, we are not going to lower our standards one iota on Queen's Birthday. We will win the game by 42 points. Yes - you heard it first right here.[Editor's note: Just in case you're a sceptic, remember that last week's DEMONLAND reviewer George On The Outer predicted a 15 goal Hawthorn victory which, but for David Rodan's miss after the ¾ time buzzer, would have been spot on the mark.] While my main motivation in tipping a Melbourne victory is that KOD went for Collingwood and he/she/it usually gets them wrong, there are other reasons. Since the first two rounds of the season, the Magpies have struggled to put together wins on the trot and there are rumours of trouble in their camp. Buckley seems to be on the nose. Dane Swan is said to have even added a new tattoo of Bucks with a target imprinted on his forehead (we just don't know what part of Swan's anatomy houses this feature). The Demons, on the other hand, have been a model of stability and consistency throughout the season. As they say in the classics, "what you see is what you get." Despite Ms. Caldwell's above gaffe, the Board has full confidence in its coach. The letter of dismissal was never sent - it was dealt with in the way that Rufus T Firefly (coach Quicy's alter ego) did it in Duck Soup:- And there you have it - nobody got fired at Melbourne (at least not this week).In fact, a remarkable thing is happening at Demonland before our very eyes. Young people with a bit of talent are infiltrating their way into the team. This week Jimmy Toumpas quietly makes his way back into the side along with Sam Blease. Last week it was Jack Fitzpatrick and the week before, Dean Kent. Soon we'll see Jack Viney, Max Gawn and maybe even Rory Taggert in the 22. Together with some of the mature age players introduced this year as well as the return of our injured stars, the addition to the mix of Jeff Kennett, will really make this place rock. OK, I'm not serious about Jeff but his style reminds me of the words of the slightly less than immortal Rufus T. Firefly:- That's Melbourne these days but whilst I've proved the case for a Demon win by 42 points on Monday, please don't tell the Ox.He's against it!

Alison Caldwell on the ABC on Mark Neeld this week: The name Ms. Caldwell was probably struggling to find was Quincy Adams Wagstaff who, like Neeld, is an educator. Here's Wagstaff in action: According to some, Melbourne needs a coach who is against everything; who will try nothing and do nothing in order to keep the level of the media's concentration on its current plight. Wagstaff presents the ideal scenario for the Demons but what makes him so appealing is the fact that he has several brothers who can act as his able assistants including brother Pinky who would make an excellent spokesperson for the club because he never talks. There's so much white noise reverberating around the club at this time that Pinky's role should be a welcome addition in place of the random meaningless talk that abounds around and about the club. We need more action and less talk. Some of the talk in recent times has been particularly destructive but a some of it might have been helpful. However, while it might be well-intentioned (e.g. this), its all horse feathers - stuff of which weve already been made well aware and know and is therefore better left unsaid and dealt with in the manner in which Pinky deals with such things. The only unfortunate aspect of Wagstaff's appointment as coach in the place of Mark Neeld (if indeed, he is the man who's name Ms. Caldwell can't remember) is that the new coach cannot bring to the club the action that's needed to win games. Why? Because he's against it! THE GAME Melbourne v. Collingwood at the MCG Monday 10 June 2013 at 3.20pm HEAD TO HEAD Overall Melbourne 79 wins Collingwood 143 wins 5 draws At the MCG Melbourne 59 wins Collingwood 76 wins 3 draws Since 2000 Melbourne 5 wins Collingwood 10 wins 1 draw The Coaches Neeld 0 wins Buckley 1 win MEDIA TV - Channel 7 & Fox Footy Channel live from 3.00pm. RADIO - SEN ABC 3AW Triple M THE BETTING Melbourne to win $ 17.00 Collingwood to win $1.01 LAST TIME THEY MET Collingwood 19.15.129 defeated Melbourne 13.9.87 in Round 11, 2012 at the MCG. Melbourne started poorly and conceded six goals to nil in the first quarter before regrouping and showing some of the spirit that had been missing for most of the season. With Jones and Grimes working hard in the midfield and Clark and Howe livening up the forward line, they threatened but unfortunately, some dreadful turnovers prevented them from getting close before the Pies reasserted their position. THE TEAMS MELBOURNE Backs Lynden Dunn Cameron Pedersen Dean Terlich Half backs Colin Garland Tom McDonald Sam Blease Centreline Jack Trengove Colin Sylvia Michael Evans Half forwards Jeremy Howe Jack Fitzpatrick Jack Watts Forwards David Rodan Chris Dawes Aaron Davey Followers Mark Jamar Matt Jones Nathan Jones Interchange Dean Kent Jordie McKenzie Luke Tapscott Jimmy Toumpas Emergencies Rohan Bail Max Gawn James Sellar In Sam Blease Max Gawn Tom McDonald Colin Sylvia Out Rohan Bail James Frawley (hamstring) Joel Macdonald (foot) James Strauss COLLINGWOOD Backs Nathan Brown Ben Reid Heritier O'Brien Half backs Heath Shaw Nick Maxwell Marley Williams Centreline Steele Sidebottom Brent Macaffer Luke Ball Half forwards Jamie Elliott Quinten Lynch Dane Swan Forwards Ben Kennedy Travis Cloke Alan Didak Followers Darren Jolly Scott Pendlebury Jarryd Blair Interchange Josh Thomas Ben Sinclair Kyle Martin Paul Seedsman Emergencies Martin Clarke Jackson Paine Adam Oxley In Travis Cloke Ben Sinclair Out Martin Clarke Andrew Krakouer DUCK SOUP As if the unfortunate Ms. Caldwell's remarks weren't sufficient evidence of the media's descent into some sort of collective madness presaged recently by the incoherent rantings of the chief football writer for a former broadsheet now turned tabloid but unworthy of wrapping fish 'n chips, this takes the potato cake:- That's right folks. Even the once mighty Kiss of Death has taken leave of his/her/its senses and predicts Collingwood will fall to Melbourne by a margin of 13 points. Appropriately, there's a Men's Grand Slam singles final on the night before the game which allows me to segue beautifully into one of the greatest quotes from the history of such tournaments:- The whole world knows that Melbourne's average winning margin in matches this season is an AFL high of 41 points. With the eyes of the football world well and truly upon us, we are not going to lower our standards one iota on Queen's Birthday. We will win the game by 42 points. Yes - you heard it first right here. [Editor's note: Just in case you're a sceptic, remember that last week's DEMONLAND reviewer George On The Outer predicted a 15 goal Hawthorn victory which, but for David Rodan's miss after the ¾ time buzzer, would have been spot on the mark.] While my main motivation in tipping a Melbourne victory is that KOD went for Collingwood and he/she/it usually gets them wrong, there are other reasons. Since the first two rounds of the season, the Magpies have struggled to put together wins on the trot and there are rumours of trouble in their camp. Buckley seems to be on the nose. Dane Swan is said to have even added a new tattoo of Bucks with a target imprinted on his forehead (we just don't know what part of Swan's anatomy houses this feature). The Demons, on the other hand, have been a model of stability and consistency throughout the season. As they say in the classics, "what you see is what you get." Despite Ms. Caldwell's above gaffe, the Board has full confidence in its coach. The letter of dismissal was never sent - it was dealt with in the way that Rufus T Firefly (coach Quicy's alter ego) did it in Duck Soup:- And there you have it - nobody got fired at Melbourne (at least not this week). In fact, a remarkable thing is happening at Demonland before our very eyes. Young people with a bit of talent are infiltrating their way into the team. This week Jimmy Toumpas quietly makes his way back into the side along with Sam Blease. Last week it was Jack Fitzpatrick and the week before, Dean Kent. Soon we'll see Jack Viney, Max Gawn and maybe even Rory Taggert in the 22. Together with some of the mature age players introduced this year as well as the return of our injured stars, the addition to the mix of Jeff Kennett, will really make this place rock. OK, I'm not serious about Jeff but his style reminds me of the words of the slightly less than immortal Rufus T. Firefly:- That's Melbourne these days but whilst I've proved the case for a Demon win by 42 points on Monday, please don't tell the Ox. He's against it!

Twelve months ago - MELBOURNE Backs James Sellar Jared Rivers Tom McDonald Half backs Daniel Nicholson Jack Watts James Frawley Centreline Jack Grimes James Magner Cale Morton Half forwards Nathan Jones Colin Garland Colin Sylvia Forwards Jack Trengove Mitch Clark Jeremy Howe Followers Mark Jamar Brent Moloney Jordie McKenzie Interchange Sam Blease Lynden Dunn Brad Green Luke Tapscott Emergencies Matthew Bate Aaron Davey Joel Macdonald In James Frawley Out Joel Macdonald COLLINGWOOD Backs Chris Tarrant Nathan Brown Heritier O'Brien Half backs Martin Clarke Nick Maxwell Marley Williams Centreline Jarryd Blair Dale Thomas Simon Buckley Half forwards Ben Sinclair Chris Dawes Alex Fasolo Forwards Tyson Goldsack Travis Cloke Dayne Beams Interchange Alan Didak Jamie Elliot Sharrod Wellingham Tom Young Emergencies Paul Seedsman Kirk Ugle Cameron Wood In Darren Jolly Dane Swan Chris Tarrant Out Scott Pendlebury (leg) Kirk Ugle

The Casey Scorpions put on a polished display in gloomy conditions at Trevor Barker Beach Road Oval to demolish Sandringham by 65 points on Saturday. Apart from an earlier arm wrestle during which the home team kicked three goals to two in the first half of the opening term, the Scorpions held the ascendency throughout the match despite a latter flutter when the Zebs kicked two goals in the shadows of the half time siren to get within 18 points. As has often happened in the season to date, Casey produced the goods in the all-important "premiership quarter" when it exerted enormous pressure across the ground and kept the home team goalless while kicking three goals four behinds. This set up a slashing final term wherein the Scorpions coasted to win by more than ten goals. Sandy was held goalless from late in the second term until after the 15 minute mark of the last. Max Gawn led the forwards with some strong marking and four goals (and won plenty of hit outs) and the beanpole ruckman overshadowed young up and coming future start Jesse Hogan who also was good in the air and on the ground. Sam Blease and young Jimmy Toumpas were exciting while Tom Couch, Danny Nicholls and James Magner collected plenty of possessions in a dominant and matchwinning midfield. Youngster Mitch Gent also had a big game and is showing noticeable improvement on a weekly basis. Rory Taggert is another youngster whose performance would have gladdened the hearts of Demon fans. Like many others at the club his advancement has been hindered by injury - in this case a debilitating back problem. He was dangerous all afternoon and booted four goals. He has talent but might not make the step up until later in the season. Casey meets Collingwood on Saturday in the preview of the big Queens Birthday fixture at the MCG. A big crowd is expected at Casey Fields. HOW THE DEMONS FARED Dominic Barry 5 kicks 9 handballs 14 disposals 3 marks 2 tackles Sam Blease 14 kicks 2 handballs 16 disposals 3 marks 10 tackles 2 goals 2 behinds Mitch Clisby 15 kicks 10 handballs 25 disposals 8 marks 5 tackles Tom Couch 22 kicks 11 handballs 33 disposals 1 mark 13 tackles 2 behinds Troy Davis 6 kicks 6 handballs 12 disposals 4 marks 5 tackles Max Gawn 11 kicks 4 handballs 15 disposals 9 marks 1 tackle 35 hit outs 4 goals 3 behinds Tom Gillies 10 kicks 3 handballs 13 disposals 5 marks 2 tackles Jesse Hogan 7 kicks 8 handballs 15 disposals 6 marks 2 tackles 1 goal 1 behind Neville Jetta 4 kicks 4 handballs 8 disposals 1 mark 6 tackles 1 goal James Magner 19 kicks 8 handballs 27 disposals 11 marks 8 tackles 1 goal 1 behind James Sellar 13 kicks 5 handballs 18 disposals 9 marks 1 tackle Jake Spencer 6 kicks 5 handballs 11 disposals 3 marks 2 tackles 24 hit outs 1 goal 3 behinds Rory Taggert 9 kicks 3 handballs 12 disposals 6 marks 1 tackle 4 goals Jimmy Toumpas 13 kicks 9 handballs 22 disposals 5 marks 5 tackles Josh Tynan 11 kicks 6 handballs 17 disposals 4 marks 12 tackles 1 goal Casey Scorpions 4.3.27 9.6.60 12.10.82 18.15.123 Sandringham 3.2.20 6.6.42 6.9.45 8.10.58 Goals Casey Scorpions Gawn Taggert 4 Nicholls 3 Blease 2 Hogan Jetta Magner Spencer Tynan Sandringham Dennis-Lane 4 Lee 2 Curren Michaliades Best Casey Scorpions Nicholls Blease Sellar Couch Gawn Taggert Sandringham Shakallis Dennis-Lane Cockie Saunders Dunell Lee In the development league, Casey started slowly but a good fightback in the third term saw the Scorps ahead at the final break before the home side fell in by 3 points. Casey Scorpions 1.1.7 2.1.13 5.3.33 6.5.41 Sandringham 2.2.14 3.3.21 4.7.31 6.8.44 Goals Casey Scorpions Boland Hill McInnes Matthews Riseley Rosier Sandringham Taylor 2 Batson Howes McKay Teirnan Best Casey Scorpions Lindsay Hill Pollard Riseley Anderson Roberts Sandringham Taylor Teirnan Maitland Williams Ong Coates