many many brock mclean jokes

[Gorgoroth 12,924]

Brock Mclean counted to infinity - twice.

Brock Mclean does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Brock Mclean goes killing.

Brock Mclean thought up some of the funniest Brock Mclean facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.

Brock Mclean’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Brock Mclean

Brock Mclean does not sleep. He waits.

Brock Mclean was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Brock Mclean can speak braille.

Brock Mclean with a night light. Not because Brock Mclean is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Brock Mclean

If you can see Brock Mclean, he can see you. If you can't see Brock Mclean you may be only seconds away from death.

Brock Mclean puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

The chief export of Brock Mclean is pain.

If Brock Mclean is late, time better slow the ###### down.

Brock Mclean doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Brock Mclean sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Brock roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Brock Mclean can kill 100 percent of whatever the ###### he wants.

Brock Mclean frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Brock Mclean died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Most men are OK with their wives fantasizing about Brock Mclean during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

Brock Mclean does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Brock Mclean, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Brock Mclean, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Brock Mclean 's fist.

Brock Mclean once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

When Brock Mclean sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Brock Mclean has not had to pay taxes ever.

At birth, Brock Mclean came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Brock Mclean but Brock Mclean

Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Brock Mclean enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

If you try to introduce your mother to Brock Mclean, she'll introduce you to your biological father.

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Brock Mclean got an award for masturbating in public.

Brock Mclean is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Brock Mclean once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Brock Mclean?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.

Brock Mclean can slam revolving doors.

Brock Mclean once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Superman owns a pair of Brock Mclean pajamas.

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Brock Mclean doesn't believe in magic.

Brock Mclean has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.

Brock Mclean can divide by zero.

Brock Mclean is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Brock Mclean claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

Geico saved 15% by switching to Brock Mclean.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Brock Mclean and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Brock Mclean’s sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.

Water boils faster when Brock Mclean watches it.

They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Brock Mclean. He doesn't have to.

Brock Mclean does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Brock Mclean says its beef, then it's ######ing beef.

Brock Mclean owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

When Brock Mclean exercises, the machine gets stronger.

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Brock Mclean.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Brock Mclean

Brock Mclean once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.

Brock Mclean got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant.

Brock Mclean clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

If you see Brock Mclean crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

A blind man once stepped on Brock Mclean's shoe. Brock replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Brock Mclean!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Brock Mclean..

Brock Mclean is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Brock Mclean

The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type " Brock Mclean " into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".

Brock Mclean ‘IS’ allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Brock Mclean’s cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.

Brock Mcleanends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".

Brock Mclean refers to himself in fourth person.

Brock Mclean never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the ###### off.

Brock Mclean doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

Brock Mclean was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Brock Mclean

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Brock Mclean is going to kill you.

Oxygen requires Brock Mclean to live.

Brock Mclean doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Brock.

Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Brock Mclean is on yet.

When Brock Mclean laughs too hard while drinking milk, he accidently ######s a cow.

Brock Mclean gave cats nine lives so he could kill them more.

Nobody has ever heard a woman while she was in bed with Brock Mclean. This is because only dogs can hear the frequencies in which they're screaming.

Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Brock Mclean open you would find another Brock Mclean inside, only smaller and angrier.

One time in an airport a guy accidently called Brock Mclean " Buck Mclean ". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politely signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

Brock Mclean uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.

When Brock Mclean was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Brock Mclean received an "A+" for writing only the words " Brock Mclean " and promptly turning in the paper.

Brock Mclean frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the #### out of little kids.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Brock Mclean

Brock Mclean has never had an alcohol problem. However, alcohol has had a Brock Mclean problem.

Brock Mclean’s dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Brock Mclean will not take #### from anyone.

Brock Mclean always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.

Whenever Brock Mclean’s wife asks him nicely to do the dishes, he throws them in the garbage and tells her she looks fat.

The phrase "Made by Brock Mclean " is imprinted beneath the surface of China.

Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Brock Mclean so he can scare the #### out of them.

Microsoft has released a new Anti-virus removal tool called Brock Mclean. The tool dares the virus to enter the machine.

Brock Mclean wears custom made boots with his name imprinted on the bottom. The reason being is so if anyone ever asks him for his autograph, they will get it permanently across the side of their face.

If you come home to find Brock Mclean doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Brock gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.

When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Brock Mclean.

Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows Brock Mclean is watching.

Someone once tried to tell Brock Mclean that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

There was going to be a special edition Brock Mclean toliet paper, but Brock doesn't take crap from anybody.

Brock Mclean doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.

If Brock Mclean were an Olympic athlete, the Olympics would be canceled. Every four years they would just mail Brock Mclean his 237 gold medals.

One day Brock Mclean brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Brock Mclean roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Brock Mclean giveth, and the good Brock Mclean, he taketh away.

Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Brock Mclean once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Brock the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas

Brock Mclean does not have pubic hair, he has a groin beard.

Brock Mclean only uses one chopstick.

When Brock Mclean answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

Brock Mclean never hides, he only seeks.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Brock Mclean to die before they attack.

Brock Mclean once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Brock Mclean’s way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Brock Mclean is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Brock Mclean out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Brock Mclean, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Brock Mclean has 72... and they're all poisonous.

If you ask Brock Mclean what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Brock Mclean drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Brock Mclean invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

CNN was originally created as the " Brock Mclean Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Brock Mclean can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Brock Mclean allows to live.

What was going through the minds of all of Brock Mclean’s victims before they died? His shoe.

Brock Mclean is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Police label anyone attacking Brock Mclean as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Brock Mclean doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Brock Mclean doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

Brock Mclean will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

If you spell Brock Mclean in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Brock Mclean originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Brock replied, "That's no glitch."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Brock Mclean once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Brock Mclean played in second grade.

Brock Mclean once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Brock Mclean once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Brock Mclean re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Brock Mclean has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Brocktatorship.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Brock Mclean once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Brock Mclean warm-up exercises.

Brock Mclean is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Brock Mclean turned that wine into beer.

Brock Mclean can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Brock Mclean

Brock Mclean discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Brock Mclean is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Brock Mclean roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

Brock Mclean doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

The Brock Mclean military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Brock Mclean could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Brock Mclean could use to kill you, including the room itself.

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Brock Mclean walks.

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Brock gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

When Brock Mclean goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Brock Mclean has breathed on.

Brock Mclean once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Brock Mclean won by 5.

Brock Mclean was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Brock's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

Brock Mclean sheds his skin twice a year.

Brock Mclean speared Steve Irwin.

Brock Mclean doesn't have a chin under his beard... just another fist.

Brock Mclean and Mr.T walked into a bar... the bar was instantly destroyed as no building can contain that much coolness.

Jesus can walk on water. Brock Mclean can swim through land.

Jesus can walk on water...but Brock Mclean can walk on jesus.

The phrase "balls to the wall" was created to describe Brock Mclean entering any room smaller than an airplane hangar.

Brock Mclean destroyed the periodic table, because Brock Mclean only recognizes the element of surprise

Brock Mclean doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

When Brock Mclean was a kid he only couloured in pictures in red...because all his crayons were soaked in the blood of his victims.

Brock Mclean can lead a horse to water...and make it drink.

Brock Mclean is the reason wally is hiding.

Remember the soviet union? They decided to quit after watching a Brock Mclean play football on satelite TV

While urinating, Brock Mclean is easily capable of welding titanium.

When Brock Mclean was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Brock Mclean likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

Brock Mclean CAN believe it's not butter.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Brock Mclean calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Brock Mclean doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Brock Mclean is Brock Mclean.

For some, the left [censored] is larger than the right one. For Brock Mclean, each [censored] is larger than the other one.

Brock Mclean ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Brock Mclean lives in Melbourne.

Brock Mclean doesn't believe in Germany.

When Brock Mclean is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

Brock Mclean can touch MC Hammer.

Brock Mclean played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Brock Mclean smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Brock Mclean doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

Brock Mclean roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

Brock Mclean does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Brock Mclean would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

Brock Mclean did in fact, build Rome in a day.

When Brock Mclean was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

Brock Mclean brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Brock Mclean finds it delicious.

Brock Mclean was what Willis was talkin' about.

Brock Mclean doesn't wear condoms...because nothing can protect you from Brock Mclean.

Brock Mclean doesn't get wet, it get Brock Mcleaned.

[WonnaJurah 5]

random pies joke

whats the difference between a pizza and a collingwood supporter?

a pizza can feed a family of four

[FitZ 0]

You weren't kidding about the many part

[Freak 100]

My favourite joke:

"Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Brock Mclean once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas"

Haha, who the hell is chuck!

[BAMF 4,299]

I thought i knew all of those chuck/brock jokes.

I was wrong. thank you. nothing better than meeting someone with the same love as you for those jokes.

[Gorgoroth 12,924]

BLAST!

ok so i missed 1, not bad as it took me ages to change them all.

[Sleeve 67]

BLAST!

ok so i missed 1, not bad as it took me ages to change them all.

Control F - Find Chuck Norris

- Change text to Brock McLean

takes about 5 seconds!

[btdemon 482]

Brock McLean stuffed up at a vital moment last night. That was NO joke. Yes, I think he should be the next captain, but occasionally he tries to do too much and looks slow.

[Dee*ceiving 1,674]

Brock McLean never looks slow, occassionally slow looks Brock McLean

[LeBron James 41]

Brock McLean never looks slow, occassionally slow looks Brock McLean

[45HG 1,539]

Brock Mclean bunts home runs

[Brockstar 1]

Brock McLean never looks slow, occassionally slow looks Brock McLean

nice!

I think "Brock Mclean was what Willis was talkin' 'bout" should be a bumper sticker, or even better someone take a banner of it to the footy...Would be a classic. Wonder if the great man has come across these yet? I'm sure he'd get a huge laff out of our hero worship!!

Scary part is, it's all true

[deanox 9,898]

melbourne football club games were once beamed by satellite directly onto french tv. the french quickly surrendered to brock mclean, just to be safe.

[Gorgoroth 12,924]

That would be true!

Cheese eating surrender monkeys!

[Brockstar 1]

melbourne football club games were once beamed by satellite directly onto french tv. the french quickly surrendered to brock mclean, just to be safe.

as you would!