I just received an SMS from our designated writer for tonight advising that he's smashed his TV set and headed off to the pub.

Writers(s) urgently required.

Place your entries on this thread, please!!!

WE WERE CRAP By Geddy Lee

We were crap.

Damn you beat me too it!

I'll raise you to Super Crap...

WE WERE CRAP By Geddy Lee

We were crap.

A clear and concise effort but some parts need elaboration.

More entries are invited and we're also calling for a sponsor to donate a prize for the best entry.

I reckon I'd probably get banned for life from demonland if I was to have a crack at it tonight, so I'll pass.

Good luck to anyone who tries!!

Eidt: On a brighter note the Eagles just hit the front early in the last quarter

A brief one cos I am off to bed.

Well I had high hopes of putting aside our disappointing efforts in the last couple of games and I was hoping for a better display. I sat down to watch the game on Foxtel with my two young boys and I could smell pretty early on that we would struggle.

In the first quarter we got hands on the ball as much as our opponents and our effeiciency with the footy was unusually good. Black, Brown and Bradshaw had limited influence. I felt we in in an armwrestle with an opponent who had far greater strength and we were looking him in the eye waiting for him to put our hand through the table. And so partly because we expected and feared it, in the second quarter in happened.

Clark dominated the ruck contests particularly in the centre, Brisbane were more organised, had greater intensity and controlled the footy barely giving the frightened demons a sniff. Black and Power were constantly belting the ball into our defensive line where to the advantage of Brown and Bradshaw. If they din't mark the footy the ball was dropping to the advantage of thier small forwards. Our hapless backline could do little to stop the bleeding, though Frawley was doing some good things in his battle with Bradshaw and Jack Grimes looks a genuine future star. In contast out midfield looked slow, lost and always behind. Mclean had no impact, Moloney couldnt find the footy and various players such as Sylvia, Petterd and others were tried in the midfield we had no players able to create clearances or any flowing running footy.

Our last quarter saved the game blowing out to 80 points and we saved face by outscoring them in the last quarter however the intensity had gone completely out of the game.

Davey was our best player but sadly rarely gets his hands on the footy in clearance situations. He is however an eceptional user of the ball and would be a genuine star in a better team. He usually has a hand in any scoring opportunity.

Grimes is already a very good player with exceptional, courage, skill and maturity. He has the knack of knowing when to attack the footy or defend. He has strong hands and is a nice user of the footy.

Frawley worked hard against Bradshaw and did some good work when given the opportunity to go the other way.

Sylvia again did some good things and got a couple of late goals and Stefan Martin took some good contested marks but his disposal is a concern.

Dean Bailey needs to go back to the drawing board and establish a plan to improve an uncompetitive and disorganised midfield. This is the clubs greatest on field challenge.

A brief one cos I am off to bed.

Well I had high hopes of putting aside our disappointing efforts in the last couple of games and I was hoping for a better display. I sat down to watch the game on Foxtel with my two young boys and I could smell pretty early on that we would struggle.

In the first quarter we got hands on the ball as much as our opponents and our effeiciency with the footy was unusually good. Black, Brown and Bradshaw had limited influence. I felt we in in an armwrestle with an opponent who had far greater strength and we were looking him in the eye waiting for him to put our hand through the table. And so partly because we expected and feared it, in the second quarter in happened.

Clark dominated the ruck contests particularly in the centre, Brisbane were more organised, had greater intensity and controlled the footy barely giving the frightened demons a sniff. Black and Power were constantly belting the ball into our defensive line where to the advantage of Brown and Bradshaw. If they din't mark the footy the ball was dropping to the advantage of thier small forwards. Our hapless backline could do little to stop the bleeding, though Frawley was doing some good things in his battle with Bradshaw and Jack Grimes looks a genuine future star. In contast out midfield looked slow, lost and always behind. Mclean had no impact, Moloney couldnt find the footy and various players such as Sylvia, Petterd and others were tried in the midfield we had no players able to create clearances or any flowing running footy.

Our last quarter saved the game blowing out to 80 points and we saved face by outscoring them in the last quarter however the intensity had gone completely out of the game.

Davey was our best player but sadly rarely gets his hands on the footy in clearance situations. He is however an eceptional user of the ball and would be a genuine star in a better team. He usually has a hand in any scoring opportunity.

Grimes is already a very good player with exceptional, courage, skill and maturity. He has the knack of knowing when to attack the footy or defend. He has strong hands and is a nice user of the footy.

Frawley worked hard against Bradshaw and did some good work when given the opportunity to go the other way.

Sylvia again did some good things and got a couple of late goals and Stefan Martin took some good contested marks but his disposal is a concern.

Dean Bailey needs to go back to the drawing board and establish a plan to improve an uncompetitive and disorganised midfield. This is the clubs greatest on field challenge.

Putting it succinctly, yet another disgraceful performance taking Bailey to a 11% winning ratio.

Why not have the Scoprions promoted to the ones, at least they are semi competitive.

This team/club has very serious issues which take me back to the forlorn days of the mid 70's.

I have supported the club for over 45 years, but really find it difficult to watch such insipid performances week in week out.

Come on guys, play for each other and for the club....think about your footy and be accountable for your efforts. Most are on good pay packets, but do they really earn these....probably not.....on a positive note, Grimes is having a stellar season showing the older heads what poise in defence and commitment mean.....bring on 2010 asap

MICHAEL JACKSON:

Actually died after watching Melbourne play. Family mourn that he never took note of Jack Grimes.

Here's my entry -

The scene was set early when an errant handball from James Frawley was intercepted by NAB Rising Star favourite Daniel Rich and the home side had the first goal on the board after 35 seconds. Not quite as fast as Gary Ablett's 9 second opening goal earlier in the season but still enough to cause concern in the camp. The Dees got on the map with a long goal from Cale Morton and a Russell Robertson mark and goal put them in front. It was reasonably deep into the first quarter that Melbourne led 2.0.12 to 1.2.8 and Bradshaw and Brown were being well held but late in the term the troubles began. The Brisbane Lions proceeded to amass 12 unanswered goals and by three-quarter time the margin was 74 points.

The Demons of 2009 are becoming known as final quarter specialists and goals from Cameron Bruce and Nathan Jones got the scoreboard ticking over at last before Brisbane's power forwards. Brown and Bradshaw booted their fifth and fourth goals respectively. Between them they had well and truly out goaled the entire Melbourne 22 and a final flurry of goals from Colin Sylvia, Liam Jurrah and Aaron Davey added a touch of respectability.

Thanks to all contributors. Here's the result: NIGHTMARE ON VULTURE STREET

we went,

we got flogged,

we went home,

Disappointing from a result point of view:

Positives : Frawley,Warnock Sylvia,Grimes

Negatives : Clearances, Pressure(lack of !!)

Potential : Liam, Watts, Bennell, Grimes, Jetta, Morton.Frawley,Stef (All Kids)

Heart /Passion : Matty, Jonesy,Jarred Rivers

Disappointing from a result point of view:

Positives : Frawley,Warnock Sylvia,Grimes

Negatives : Clearances, Pressure(lack of !!)

Potential : Liam, Watts, Bennell, Grimes, Jetta, Morton.Frawley,Stef (All Kids)

Heart /Passion : Matty, Jonesy,Jarred Rivers

I have just got off the plane home after the one of the worst performances of our football team. I sat with Brisbane supporters around me laughing at how bad we were. We looked tired, uncommitted, slow with poor decision-making skills.

I think being there and looking at the body language after each successive Brisbane goal I have now got to agree that finally the team now just expects to lose. That is how they look. I dont think they come out thinking that but they just seem to get beaten so easily now after initially showing us all how competitive they can be. What has happened over the last three weeks.

Some of the most obvious points were:

Rivers totally insipid and uninterested. At one time on the wing in front of us he let Bennell try and beat two Brisbane players whilst he stood there flat footed.

How can a senior player let a first year player see that he is not going to get backed up. Absolutely no support there.

Robbo if he is not finished now he definitely is at the end of the year. Again looked totally uninterested unless the ball was in the air. He certainly has lost his mojo.

Paul Johnson - although he tried his hardest McLean and Moloney were next to useless. They were beaten to the ball on nearly every occasion. No wonder it was never down our end

Jack Watts shows glimpses but certainly doesnt have the body capacity to match it.

Liam Jurrah - would be better if Robbo was not there to spoil him. Brisbane guys were getting stuck into him and he gave it right back. It was good.

Grimes - what can I say that has not already been said.

Stefan Martin - was "good" took some timely marks. When I say good he didnt have much to compare in the team.

Aaron is still getting cheap possessions yet when he gets it you feel that somethig will come out of it.

Frawly/Warnock were stoic against those two ogres.

Jones - again where is his peripheral vision - is it a matter of team mates not yelling at him or is it that he tries to do that one too much and gets caught.

Cameron - looked good in the first ten mnutes and last quarter - but then most of them did.

Green - solid but no back up around him

My overall impression was that the team cannot match other teams in upper body strength. They are slow and thats not just their decsion making. There was little running with another player whether to run forward to take the ball or to block opposition. Whatever happened to good old fashioned shepherding. They seem to be content to let the opposition mark and then run back. Basic errors like waiting for the ball to come to them and so how many times did we see the ball stolen from in front of them. It wasn't a practice run, what did they think that Brisbane was just going to let them mark like they do to the opposiition players. Also why do they fall over when taking a mark when the Brisbane players remain upright and of course played on. Skill levels don't seem to be improving but again this may be an issue with self confidence.

I don't think that there is going to be a quick fix. We need too many key position players and I don't believe Meesen and Spencer are going to improve to the level that we need them until 2011.

I didnt go up to Brisbane expecting to win but I did expect a certain level of competitiveness. They looked like Narnargoon Norths had come to play. At least the weather was nice!