Red and Bluebeard

More's the pity ...

Of course. How could I forget rule 6A?

And I say bottoms up ... didn't know you were a kraut

There is no rule 6! I thought you knew that!

Or rule number six ...

Footy talk is not banned in this thread. It just has a lot of competition ...

There are those who say no b$ means no l$ ...

Well, if we must have some lawyer jokes (twist my arm someone, please! .... WJ, Redleg, I think I will owe you both a drink after this!) An old lady, knowing her time is nearing an end, calls her three most trusted people to her, her priest, her doctor and her lawyer, and gives them each $50,000 in cash. She gives them strict instructions to put the cash in her coffin before she is buried, as she has decided to take it with her into the afterlife. Each solemnly agrees to carry out her rather bizarre wish. Later, after her funeral, the three of them are talking. The priest says "I have a confession to make. I don't know about you, but I only put $20,000 in the coffin. You see, we had this appeal to build a shelter for homeless kids, and we were $30,000 short of our target. I thought it would be such a waste just to bury all that money and see the homeless continue to sleep in the street. So I put $30,000 into the appeal, and $20,000 in the coffin". The doctor days "Well, I am glad you said that. I only put $30,000 in the coffin. We had an appeal for some new equipment for the children's hospital, and we were $20,000 short. Like you, I felt it was a waste to bury all that cash and see the kids miss out on the equipment they need. So I put $20,000 into the appeal, and $30,000 in the coffin". The lawyer is very angry, and screams his disgust at the other two. "You solemnly swore to put the money into the coffin! You betrayed that fine old lady's trust! You two should be ashamed of yourselves! No short-changing from me --- I put in a cheque for the full $50,000!"

I had to read that more than once to realise that the first line wasn't the punch line ...

Screaming "Go Demons!" at the top of your voice sounds like the go ...

You are indeed a loyal Demon, DF!

Didn't know there were any of them left ...

I thought you were going to say something more serious, like she is joining the scum or the filth ...

Not so sure, DF. The school would have been run by malevolent alpacas, the cupboards would be full of shiraz and the chairs would have special covers of pygmy marmoset leather ...

Your wife says "Produce the smoothie?" ???

Dwarves? :-)

Having read about how camel milk is the new 'it' recently, and knowing that camels can be large, stubborn and very onery beasts, I am not sure I share your opinion (and for that matter, my mother, grandmother and two aunts all thought nothing of milking a few cows without machinery).

Not sure that BBO actually said that ...

Surely jazza real men milk camels and don't wash cars ...

Remember Einstein's maxim: "There are only two infinite things - the universe, and human stupidity, and I am not so sure about the universe".

Sue them for lack of comfortable satisfaction?

Yeah, we are all bananas here ...

I thought he was talking about Alexander the meglomaniac, not Alexander the peanut ...

Hairier police? Is that what happens when cops don't shave?

I presume you have something in mind to say if you get stopped for a random breath test then (and I doubt South American marmoset seat covers is likely to get you very far)