Skuit

With the women's team having evidently contracted the Norm Smith Curse, I was fully expecting the original six-team finals system would be cut back to four - right on cue after we'd just given up second spot. So the eight-team announcement came as a surprise. Then it became clear as day: we will lose to one of the fourth-placed teams in the grand final. MFCFFS

I was factoring for future pandemics and a misspent youth.

Hey Demonland, If you flick me an international membership I'll unlikely ever opt out in the future. (Pretty sure I'm still set up for automatic deductions to Blockbuster). I've probably got a good 30 years of MFC watching misery ahead of me, so it could triple your investment in one shot.

A similar thought crossed my mind re. some sort of conference system - now would be the perfect time to roll out any such sinister intentions, as it would certainly help with inter-club containment. Let Adelaide and Port bash each other silly for the next six weeks in an endless series of derbies, and if one of those teams falls foul we can all maybe watch West Coast and Freo keep going at it.

Can we pass the hat around to ensure we can keep Darren Burgess on the books in the event of a season-long stand-down?

I've realised now one of the really valuable aspects of an internet forum founded on the basis of mutual random support for a football team is that it exposes one to the world outside of their normal social circles and media echo chambers. Scary stuff.

Served cold as per common or do you have something novel in mind SWYL?

What a mess - similar to above was my first thought also. Basically just a supplemental top up system where clubs can freely sign replacements for retirees etc. Draft pool has to wait a year or enter the state leagues. Throw in even more academy and father-son prospects in 2021 and it's going to be chaos. Have no idea what would happen with trading this year. Free agency will a hot ticket.

Cheers Lord.

We've yet to experience a scenario where Clarry is absent from the team-sheets, and it may be that we underestimate his importance. Yeah - heaps of inside mids, but that's precisely why he's important - we play a contested style of footy and Clarry is a congestion-breaker. He may not have missed through injury, but I know what it's like watching Melbourne when he's having a flat patch on field - and also when he fires up. Here's a convoluted stat: Across twelve occasions, we've only lost two games of footy by greater than a goal when Clarry has achieved double-digit clearances. Jack Viney has achieved the double-digit clearance feat on six occasions for two wins and four losses. One of those was the West Coast prelim - where JV racked 11 and Clarry managed his equal lowest (post-2016) tally of 3. We've never won a match when Clarry has had only three clearances (not the case with JV).

Is there any way I can watch a replay of last week's match against Hawthorn?

I think you will probably have have to pivot to the mitigation phase now on this one above any containment efforts.

Spoke to my Italian sister-in-law last night (from Napoli no less) - quizzing her and joking about the concept of keeping a country of Italians indoors. She said everyone is actually being super-well behaved, as a matter of proud nationalism.

No worries LH - I think we will continue to have a difference of opinion. But I would agree that young Clarry has matured a great deal since joining the club. I still struggle to understand what he's saying though.

I've decided, after very little consideration, that I'm probably on board with some of the more demented contributors on this site. The deaths from corona should restrictions be eased will be less impactful I believe on the balance than the pain and misery brought about by the economic hit to the majority of the world's poorer citizens (and please note, I'm an old-fashioned leftist who has long desired the dismantling of our present economic model). It will be impossible to quantify, but I'd venture so far as to suggest that a greater number of people will die due to the measures currently being put in place. Anyone who has spent a decent amount of time in third world or developing countries should be able to see this fairly clearly. I lived a long while in Cambodia, and know that if those who scratch together a meager living selling coconuts to tourists or what-not lose their income, they will return to having absolutely nothing. They can barely afford anything resembling medical care as it is - let alone rice to survive. People will undoubtedly die due to travel restrictions, and what follows is a wildly unpredictable landscape of potential civil unrest, and the additional deprivations that stem from renewed warfare or the like. Multiply that across the globe, and it's better - both locally and at the global level - that some of the older citizens from advanced economies don't survive. My girlfriend and brother have already lost their jobs (my brother's was as an AV and conference manager at Adelaide Oval), and we are all pretty much hand to mouth as it is - and I would definitely consider us among the lucky ones. I'm not heartless - my father is 75 and just had his flights to Bangkok cancelled - but even parochial Australians will be hurt worse in the long-term by an economic collapse. Australia basically just lost its entire tourism industry - some $50 billion off the books to begin with. Please note: I haven't been smoking anything, despite residing in Amsterdam. Anyway, back to the MFC and round one.

You agree with LH or with me? Personally, I need subtitles whenever Clarry opens his mouth, and I don't think he much enjoys being in front of the camera. I love him to bits, but I don't think he'll ever get close to the official captaincy - which today is as much an off-field role as on. The fact that Jack Viney has him easily covered for eloquence speaks volumes. Here's a sample from our own website, which would present a challenge for most transcribers: https://www.melbournefc.com.au/news/238959/clarry-s-life-burgers-swimming-and-fifa

?

Haha Daisy - I'm one of the most positive blokes on here. Had us pencilled in for a four goal win before corona.

I'm not ignoring the umpiring bias Pates but I think it's being overstated on here (at least where it concerns us). Our last outing there we won the free kick count, which doesn't mean much but it's what a lot of people point to - and I even recall us getting the rub in that crucial late-season win in 2018. Much prefer the uniform bias out west than the seemingly personal with Nicholls. What I think is being wildly understated however is the crowd influence on the players, whether it's boos or cheering. Levels of alertness and adrenaline for elite performers simply require that noise. We all know that rush in ourselves when the crowd roars, and even as just a spectator I'm expecting to be bored witless watching the game for three hours with no cheering. So my conclusion was based on both teams being rather flat - contesting in a glorified training run. They are presently the better team, don't have to travel across a continent, and I presume get to train at that ground or at least know it far better than us. I believe these are the deciding factors with the hype of the crowd taken out of the equation - the hype which I think is especially important for us. So in my opinion the lack of crowd favours them, even when factoring for the ordinary crowd/umpiring advantage. I wouldn't back us to travel over there and win a pre-season game (see 2017?), and this is exactly what it will feel like if not worse. Also of further note: many believe the West Coast bias stems from the umpires being mates with the players as much as the crowd influence.

For those sticking to the narrower topic and celebrating an empty Optus in curtailing crowd and umpiring influence - I think you are all rather misguided. I can't be bothered with a statistical analysis - but remember how we're always complaining the the MFC loses the unloseable? It's usually in front of mostly empty stadiums at far flung locales (including Marvel). I'd suggest our big game record in recent times is probably better than our smaller stadium efforts, and we have in fact fared relatively well in Perth over the last three or so years. The MFCSS part: apparently we've been training with blaring music to mimic a game-day scenario, and so now what? I was optimistic heading into round one, but with no crowd I'm expecting a flat MFC and an at least six goal loss. This crowd ban favours them.

The latest installment of Demonland/Demonland Demonland: Melbourne are crap! Somebody else: Melbourne are crap Demonland: Somebody else is crap!

I gave 45 cents to the guy who made my coffee at the airport today. But I really should have tasted it first. Still, early clubhouse leader.

Spelling errors like these remind me that I'm still not yet a mature adult.

Would have been nice if someone had intercepted Brandon Zerk-Thatcher's parents en route to the birth registration office.

Essendon. Always felt the yucky Nazi vibes from their black and red. And then they started with the human drug testing.