Mel Bourne

Didn’t know AFL players weren’t allowed to bet on AFL games. Didn’t think there was anything wrong with pestering Steven Dank for “the good stuff”. As somebody who followed the Essendon drug scandal very closely (my best mate’s little bro was in the team at the time), I was furious to learn of his appointment at our club. Have been trying to keep a cool head about it throughout my time on DL discussions. Failing miserably today. Sack him.

What on earth could you hope to glean from that dullard? Get rid of his toxic presence at our club.

The sooner I see the back of Simple Simon the better. The most glaring flaw last year was the inability to convert due to rubbish disposals going inside 50. How can a team emerge from months of training without this issue being absolutely and utterly addressed? There was not a modicum of improvement in that area. That game was like watching round 25 of the 2019 season. I cannot stand our coach. I am sick to the gills of watching his lights on, nobody home, deer in headlights face. He talks absolute corporate-speak nonsense, and he sucks at his job. I can't invest emotionally in this club anymore until that low IQ turkey is gone and replaced by somebody who can walk and chew gum at the same time.

Thus ends another disappointing season for the Melbourne Football Club.

Lever is a terrible kick. Just a terrible, terrible foot-passer of the game.

Wow. Spargo. Go away.

Kozzie and Lockhart must be wondering why they’re doing so much of the heavy lifting for all of these supposedly experienced professionals. Those two and Viney can hold their heads up.

Somebody should mention to Hibberd that we’re the ones in the red and [censored] blue jumpers.

So many player’s disposals have been terrible, but Hibberd’s have been nothing short of damaging to us. I’m annoyed that this season stoppage is going to take the heat off Goodwin. He’ll likely stay coach till 2021, by sheer default. I cannot wait till we have a real one.

This will be the most heavily analysed game in Demonland history.

Well.... I’ll just have to watch the [censored] out of this game then.

This 1895 portrait of the Melbourne Football Club is pretty marvellous, and a great glimpse into the team’s history of moustaches.

I know some folks from Macedon who would attest that he has been “happy with himself” from a young age. I’m hoping the big league, coupled with his far-from-impressive form of late, has been appropriately humbling for him.

Cancel season until Harley Bennell’s calves are ready.

It’s been a disastrous few days on that front. Many of us have very suddenly lost our entire income for the next few months. Tours are being cancelled as deep into the year as September, and there is absolutely nothing in place for such a bottoming-out except to get on Newstart.

I’m looking forward to seeing how great Lever is going to be for the Demons, rather than hearing about it. Until then...

Preach.

Probably mentioned already, but I’m quite looking forward to hearing just the player’s voices out there. Will be quite insightful.

Unpopular opinion to offload at the beginning of the season, but although so many players have gotten themselves in a much-improved physical (and hopefully mental) state for this season, I still can’t see Goodwin taking our team to a GF. A lot of people here thought it was highly commendable that he admitted to getting so many things wrong last year. I was very much unmoved by it. I don’t see why the guy deserves plaudits for recognising the bleeding obvious. After watching the docu-series, I was no less convinced that he’s not the guy who’s gonna do it. And yes, a spearhead forward. Though that could be Fritter this year (it won’t be TMac)!!

I’m all for it. Just a bit of cheeky banter. I prefer it to dull, “everybody’s great”, p.c bollocks.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The Adelaide Crows - I vividly recall the handwritten signs being held by their supporters at Football Park in the early nineties saying “Kick A Vic”, and thinking “Whoa, that’s a bit much.” I mean, team rivalry is one thing, but holding signs suggesting random acts of low-level violence against another state’s citizen’s left a bit of a nasty taste in my mouth that often comes back when I’m watching games at Football Park. Hawthorn, Carlton & Essendon - if you grew up in the eighties, then you would have been surrounded by ten year-old twerps who were jumping on one of these team’s smarmy bandwagons in the playground, and lauding it over the other kids who barracked for seemingly non-existent, loser teams. These kids grew up soft. They tasted glory far too easily, far too young, and in their adult years still don’t know the true meaning of pain. I particularly hated Hawthorn amongst these three, because even at a young age before I had any real appreciation for aesthetics, I couldn’t understand how anybody could proudly display the colours of brown and yellow on their person/car/glass-bottomed speedboat. West Coast - Don Johnson and Fabio are walking along on a golden beach together, and stumble across a chest buried in the sand. They open the chest and it’s filled with hair dryers, teeth whitener, cocaine and cash. They take the chest to the nearest house, which belongs to Alan Bond, and the three of them celebrate heavily together for the next fifty years. This is the West Coast Eagles to me. It doesn’t need to make sense. I don’t mind the rest as much. Except perhaps the Sydney Swans. That Edelstein/Capper (both Warwick & Joanne)/Pink Helicopter/Swanettes period was kind of hard-going and a little on the irredeemable side. I dunno, maybe it was great.

Eat, Pray, Win.

Totally, a veteran like him just would be. At this point in his career he would approach a practice match with more than a degree of indifference, and I would not blame him for one second. Same with Jetta. Let's see how these guys play when it actually matters, because let's be honest, these games don't mean a thing.

This is a nice juxtaposition to the whole range rover/snowfields thing.