Mazer Rackham

No protected zone for player on the mark. Just a line. 20.1.1 Standing The Mark When a Player is awarded a Mark or Free Kick, one Player from the opposing Team may: (a) stand on The Mark; (b) move along a lateral line to the Protected Area defined in Law 20.1.2 without advancing beyond The Mark; or (c) otherwise be directed by a field Umpire.

The umpires for the past few years have not bothered too much with the player with the ball moving off the mark. Prediction: the player with the ball will be permitted even more freedom to move off the mark. That's the rule as it stands, not that you would know it from watching how the umps adjudicate it. They never changed the rule. The then-umps director, Gieschen, couldn't handle the idea that Buddy Franklin was subject to the laws of the game, so he made up an imaginary one on the spot. "Natural arcs" have never been allowed, except in AFL games umpired by AFL umpires. It happens all the time and that is the thing that should be clamped down on. In typical AFL fashion, they are clamping down on the wrong thing thing and worsen the situation. Prediction: players will be given licence to do so. Classic AFL shoddily -worded rules. If you're out of bounds with the ball, you can run off your line in any direction, provided it's a straight line. Meanwhile, look forward to another season of rampant throwing the ball, and going to ground to force a ball up (aka holding the ball).

2020 Laws of Australian Football. 10m either side of the player with the ball, and 5 m behind. 20.2 DISPOSAL FROM BEHIND THE MARK (b) If a Player does not dispose of the football within a reasonable time, or attempts to dispose of the football other than in a direct line over The Mark, the field Umpire shall call ‘Play On’ and the football shall immediately be in play.

It's God's way of telling the Saints that they're the club who'll have to move to Tassie

Grass roots? Chap vaguely recalls hearing the expression somewhere. Is that where they paint the lawn at our Docklands asset? Stuff simply won't grow. All that shadow. Spray-on type of arrangement. Looks rather good from the corporate box. Chap can hardly tell the difference. Pass the brandy, there's a good chap.

Just to get this thread back on track. Wander around Toorak, Armadale, Malvern when it's hard rubbish time. The stuff that gets discarded will astound you.

I think it's a simple case of Tassie saying they won't tolerate this half-pregnancy any more. And I agree the only way a Tassie team is going to happen is with a relocation, which seems unlikely. A North or St K (or ... MFC???) would have to be in such dire straights that it's Tassie or bust.

I think this is right. The Tas premier has said that their sports grants should go to Tassie-branded teams, be it basketball, netball, soccer, Aussie Rules, rather than to colonising teams from the mainland propping up their finances, which doesn't really do anything for Tassie sport except allow a few tragics to watch live AFL. The Tas sport-loving public seem to tolerate the colonisers from the mainland, but I can't see the greater Tassie community embracing a transplanted club unless it's totally rebranded as the Tassie Somethings, where "something" is not Hawks or Kangaroos, and doesn't come in brown/gold or blue/white.

Isn't Mifsud the guy who declared jihad against Neeld and it turned out to be just a misunderstanding? And if I'm not mistaken (stand to be corrected) he was in the lynching of Matt Rendell who made the seemingly uncontroversial remark that indigenous players from remote communities have a harder time settling in to big AFL cities? His track record in this area isn't exactly stellar.

Surely there are some in the western suburbs of Sydney, where they have excellent tasty & inexpensive locally made falafels to sweeten the deal.

I don't think it is. That is part of it, certainly, but there is an element of "one more straw". Eddie's bringing back guys like Gubby Allen, making Ned Whosit the list manager who had no list management experience ... ex players getting recruited on handsome money, who then hardly played ... Eddie's fingerprints all over those moves. And they are recent things on top of the years of baggage & gaffes. "That was the last straw, Eddie", said the board from behind a locked door where Eddie couldn't get at them. "Definitely the last straw". Then the self-inflicted salary cap dump at the end of 2020 & the poorly managed PR campaign around it. "OK Eddie" said the board on a zoom call with their faces pixelated and voices electronically disguised. "THAT was definitely the last straw." Then the leaking of the racism report. Eddie could have survived that if he was still a savvy media performer and copped it on the chin. "OK Eddie", said the board from the depths of a disused mine in an undisclosed location. "THAT was definitely the--" "We'll take over from here", said the club sponsors. "Enough of this [censored]. That was your last chance." "We'll see about that", thinks Eddie as he strolls into a press conference to announce the findings of the report. "I'll deftly handle this motley pack of sports journos the way I disposed of Tony Jones when he tackled me over our ferals, I mean steadfast supporters, wanting some compensation for their useless 2020 memberships." (Aloud:) "This is a proud day for the Collingwood Football Club ...." Club sponsors: don't say we didn't warn you. Goodbye Eddie, and we wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

Imagine all the slights to be avenged, the vendettas and punitive expeditions to be waged ... and all the disruption to CFC that would bring ... all I can say is, bring it on, Eddie!

Great Scott. On top of everything else, now we learn Eddie's mother was a hamster?

I'm going to go out on a limb and state that Eddie didn't make that call Who said this? Don't understand this. Eddie saved the MFC as well as the CFC?

Every fan of every club dreams of a having president as effective for their club as Eddie. Every fan of every club has nightmares of having a president who embarrasses their club as often and as badly as Eddie. If he'd stepped down 10 or 12 years ago his reputation would have been unimpeachable. He got to close to the subject matter. He was Collingwood and Collingwood was Eddie. His farewell speech today ... the first part sounded like he was explaining why the Collingwood Football Club should be returned to parliament. The second part sounded like he was preparing for the afterlife. Like he was delivering his own eulogy. Hey Eddie ... there's life after Collingwood. "The first time I went to Vic Park, that's the first time in my life I felt a part of a group or a community." (paraphrased). That explains quite a bit. Collingwood meant everything to Eddie. And because of that he hung on too long. And so he goes, with a tarnished reputation. Even as a renowned media performer, he seemed to have lost his mojo. Getting bested in an interview by Tony Jones. Always blowing his stack at the mildest questioning. No, politics was never in his future. He would have lasted as long as Mal Maninga. Vale Eddie McGuire. Good for Collingwood. Not good for football.

It's a special day in this house of Collingwood supporters. It's junior's birthday! Mum sez: it's a speshul day for ya, Millane. Yez dad even stole some rich b*****d's wallet so's ya can get sumpfin' speshul on ya birfday. Junior sez: aw geez Mum. You an' dad aren't pr*cks after all. Mum sez: watch ya [censored]in' language, ya c***. Now you an' ya sister finish ya brekfest, we're goin' ta Rebel Sports. Off they go to Rebel Sports. To the footy jumper section. Mum sez: now yez can pick out any jumper ya want. We'll pay for it on Dad's credit card. Junior sez: I didn't know Dad had a credit card. How come it sez "Jonathan Marsden" on the card? That's not Dad's name? Mum sez: nevva mind about that. Now pick out a nice jumper, take ya time, I'm gunna shoplift some Nike shoes for Granny's birfday. Junior picks out a dark blue jumper with "C F C" in concentric letters on the front. Sister sez: wotcha pick that one for? That's not a Collingwood jumper! Sister punches junior in the guts. Sister sez: Mum! Mum! Mum comes running. Mum sez: what ya -- you little barzid. What are you doin' even touchin' that jumper? Junior sez: you sez pick out a nice jumper. I like this one! Mum sez. You barzid. How dare you. Mum whacks him across the head, twice. Mum sez: we're goin' straight home. By Daicos. You've brought disgrace to this family. I hope ya proud a yaself. What would Eddie McGuire say? God save him from having to witness this outrage! Junior sez: it's my birfday an' I want this jumper! Mum sez: Gordon Coventry! Wait til your farver hears about this. How are we goin' ta get this abomination home? We're not payin' for it! Sister sez: I'll hide it in De Goey's stroller. De Goey! De Goey! Who's a good girl? Mummy's gunna put this ... thing ... in ya stroller. Now be quiet like a good girl. They go home in silence, with the jumper hidden in baby De Goey's stroller. Dad gets home. Dad sez: By Nathan, I've had a hell of a day. What with Cennalink, the nags, the dogs, the pokies, an' trainin' at the Holden Cenna ... I've [censored]in' had it. Hey Mum, did ya shoplift anyfink from the bottle shop? A man's thirsty. An how's the birfday boy? Did ya get yaself a nice jumper? Mum sez: tell ya farver. Junior sez: Mum sez, pick out a nice jumper, an' so I did. This one! Dad gasps in shock. Dad sez: Jock McHale save me! You little barzid. You barzid. You [censored]in' barzid. I cannot believe what I am seeing. Me own flesh an' blood. Ya know yer named after Darren Millane, don'tcha? How can you bring shame to Darren Millane like this? By the ghost of Lou Richards. Come 'ere. This is gunna hurt you a lot more than it's gunna hurt me. He gives junior an almighty thrashing. Dad sez: well son. I hope yez 'ave learned a lesson from this. Junior sez: (sobbing) yes I have. Dad sez: well, what have ya learned? Junior sez: I've only barracked for Carlton for one day and already I hate youse Collingwood c***s!

Maybe it was because it would interrupt his posting regime? That Patton. Always thinking about sex. Jesus!

Eddie won't go until they've put up a statue of him. No joke.

Every club wishes they had a president as effective as Eddie. Every club also dreads having a president as impulsive and ill-disciplined as Eddie.

All true. And in the 12 years after that, couldn't control his big mouth and got himself and his club in hot water, multiple times, that would have finished anyone else without a media pulpit to cast stones from.

He'll consult his sons who will tearfully urge him to continue, and, regrettably, against his better judgement, Eddie will continue in the role.

Late to the party, but this is an excellent pick up. Crikey, maybe we'll do a Richmond after all, and swamp the coach in a mire of talent so thick, even he can't feck it up

Hats off

AFL: "C'mon guys, get this deal over with. It's been days and days." Eddie: "YOU'RE THE ONES WHO TOLD US WE WERE OVER AND TO CUT PLAYERS PRONTO OR ELSE. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" AFL: *sigh* "Oh all right ... another week and that's it." Eddie: "YOU'VE CREATED THIS DISASTER. AND NOW YOU'RE MAKING THE GREAT COLLINGWOOD FOOTBALL CLUB LOOK STUPID. WHICH MEANS YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK STUPID. HOW DARE YOU. OH, THAT'S IT ... I'M GETTING ON MMM TO TEAR STRIPS OFF YOU. AND EVERY QUESTION ON MILLIONAIRE WILL BE ABOUT YOU GIL." AFL: *deep sigh* "Have it your way. come back to us when it's signed off." The saying should be "You can't eat your cake and still have it." Future language historians will condemn us for our shameful lack of clarity on this.

Adam Goodes never really made it as a ruckman either. Poor old (young!) Luke will just have to be content with running around all over the ground, being skilful and doing good things with the ball.