Mazer Rackham

Listening to talkbalk radio this morning, I've learned that: last night's win was the greatest win ever by any club playing Aussie Rules football this year's Carlton team is the greatest team ever to play Aussie Rules football Cripps is the greatest leader of men since Alexander the Great

I would like Carlton to win on the condition they sing a certain song immediately afterwards. Swans could give the old folks a touch up. Go Lions. Go Giants.

Broadly agree but I think we can carve out an exception for the mighty Melbourne Football Club.

I am being flippant more than somewhat. But the professionalism of umpires is not going to be a switch thrown overnight. "We're going professional, so youse can all [censored] off." It will be phased in, much as the days of players having a day job were phased out.

Precedent? The AFL doesn't know the meaning of the word. Next week some player doing exactly what Rioli did will get 6 weeks and the week after someone doing what Robinson did will not be cited and his opponent will.

I wish to put on the record that I am not a blockhead.

Business as usual I'm afraid. They just got out of the blocks early instead of keeping us in suspense.

"We should appeal to send a message but that might set a precedent. As you know, in tribunal matters, no f*ck3r around here knows what precedent even is."

"Oh, Riewoldt? Great player." "Yeah, great player." "Did you ever play against him?" "Yeah, tore me new one. Great guy, but." "Me too." "Yeah, great guy." "You can't penalise Riewoldt." "Nah, he doesn't deserve it." "I remember he kicked 6 against us one day. What a player." "Yeah, he took a mark like that against us once. So gutsy. You can't penalise guys like him." "Penalise Riewoldt? No way." "I call for a vote." "Not guilty." "Not guilty. "Not guilty." "It's unanimous. Riewoldt not guilty. Send out the press release."

Rehearsing "Freed From Desire" maybe?

The guy had no time at all to sum up the situation or make a conscious choice to take action. He did not perform an aggressive act ... "oh look, here's an opportunity to send this guy into next week" ... he just stood there basically. There is a difference between choosing to bump someone -- taking the risk that your bump will inflict damage -- and standing there while some bloke runs into you. Yes, he didn't mean to run into him. Nor did Robinson mean to harm the Port guy. But the AFL have to accept that in a contact sport, sometimes players get hurt in spite of everyone's intent.

Will these umpires par excellence be missed?

Professional doesn't necessarily equate to full time, like a 40 hour week. But it would mean more/better training sessions, instead of one or two after-work sessions a week, followed by game day. (It's been a long time since players did that.) Professional umps would have the time to watch all matches, perform peer reviews, attend club practice sessions. They would be able to practice things like judging how far 15 metres is when you're at ground level. How far 50m is. A professional umps dept would (I hope) have the resources to retain a number of players, perhaps recent retirees, or VFL players, say 12 or so, who could war-game scenarios that the umps have trouble with, or practice (eg) holding the ball scenarios over and over again. And if they do all those things and still have time to go down the beach, play X box til they're blue in the face, work on their model aircraft collection, or whatever, great.

Are gambling companies saying "we'll sponsor you but first clean up the umpiring"? Are Marvel saying "we'll turn your docklands stadium into AFL Disneyland but not until you fix the umpiring"? No? Then I fail to see the problem.

There was a time when I would have accepted 0.7 of a premiership. Now only a 4-peat will do.

It was like the GF. We jumped them early, then waster some chances while they spent all their petrol tickets on a run of goals. Then we put on the afterburners. Only this time we had mercy on their souls.

"Bailey, I'm rooted. I need a lie down. Can you do the coaches votes tonight? Thanks mate."

Bring it on. Our depth won't be "tested". It will be utilised. We have developed a list for this very circumstance. No need to rush anyone back. Let them wait until cherry ripe. When players like Tommo, Hunt, Smith and so on are "depth" then we're in a good place.

Hear hear. Let's have Carlton win again this week, let's even have Essendon have a win. Richmond, Collingwood ... all of them. So all their media fans can start cancelling their September holidays and forget we even exist.

I think what gets to people is that Weightman, in a situation like that, always goes to ground instead of just going for the ball.

Suns skill level horrible. Hard yakka when every disposal puts your team mate under the pump. Weagles will win this with half their firsts missing because they seem to be much better drilled.

Great man, Jimmy.

The Grand Reveal. Team 2: the players' numbers form the digits of pi (3.1459 etc) . The "clubhouse leader" was ET the Extra West-rial but it turned out his contribution "easy as", which should have been the big giveaway, was a coincidence and he didn't actually know the answer. The first one to get it was (drum roll) demonstone. The puzzle was a copy of one that LDVC did last year. I was seeing who was paying attention. Team 3: the number of letters in the players' names form a sequence. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, then through again. The interchange were 13, 14, 15. Cracked by Jjrogan, mo64 and WCW. Hearty congratulations to the winners and everyone who participated.

Fagan: "What's up, Joe? Something not quite right?" Daniher: "I heard on the radio we've got a big power forward who can kick bags of goals, an' I'm keepin' a lookout to work out who it is." Fagan: "It's YOU, Joe. It's YOU." Daniher: "Ohhhhhhhhh! Oh right." (after the game) Fagan: "See, Joe? Those clutch goals got us back in the game." Daniher: "Nah, mate. I was watchin' the replays on the scoreboard and it's that big number 3 who done it."

prior: must dispose immediately no prior: within a "reasonable" time Not a shot at you, but the concept of "interpretation" of the rules is bogus and should be removed from the game.