Mazer Rackham

I volunteer to sit out 8 weeks for only $50k per Essendon need a Choco Williams. They can't [censored] have him!

Duh! (not you, DD) AFL coaching groupthink has neglected goalkicking for years. Golf. Snooker. Darts. Any "aiming" sport requires you to line up everything at the target before you pull the trigger. And their proponents all know that. Except in the AFL where you run at the behind post to kick a goal. AFL has "dropped the ball". It kills me when a player is 25m out on a slight angle and decides the "round the corner" kick is the percentage shot. Duh!

Yes. I gave a big thumbs up to Weideman then. (I hope he will treasure that.) At a time when it seemed like goals were impossible, where even a player running into an open goal might manage to stub their toe and have the ball roll out of bounds, Weideman nailed the pressure shot. Well done Weid. Now take 9 grabs next week and kick 6.1

It's their grand final

Ha! ha! I'm not that stupid. It's oil I'm looking for.

We rarely chip backwards. We sometimes switch play to the opposite flank. Mostly we go forward, and directly, picking our way through the morass, and can nearly always do it because someone, usually more than one player, has led into space to give an option. And that player in turn has options. All over the field, all the time. It wears out the opposition having to man up all these multiple leads. We see other teams trying it. Every team does it. Kick short trying to find someone in space. But within 1 or 2 kicks they have nothing. And I'm not talking about when they play us! They just don't have players all over the ground busting their behinds to give continual options. That's when they have to kick backwards or switch play or kick long to a contest where they're outnumbered. We also throw in fake options. Like when May kicks out. We all know he'll go long to the left flank. But one or two players make short leads, which have to be guarded by the opposition. They just don't know for sure, because just sometimes May will kick short. When we're moving the ball along the flanks there are often leads made and not honoured. Sometimes because they're not the best option and sometimes because we want to stretch the oppo and keep them guessing, and wear them out at the same time. Our superior fitness has us literally and figuratively running rings around our opponents.

Other teams are taking note and adjusting accordingly. Swans probably had an inkling they'd run over them. Now every other team knows to wear them out and then wait. Few clubs we owe as much as we do the Hawks. 87, 88, 96. We have barely started paying them back.

"Christ, I've got hours of airtime to fill in and no ideas. Get thinking ... think think ... nuh. Where's the dictionary? Abbreviate ... nuh ... clergyman ... what the hell's that? ... earphone ... nuh ... effigy ... effort! Top ten effort players! Jeez ... ten? Are there ten? I'll go seven. Top seven effort players. Just pull a few out here and there ... who's gunna contradict me? I'll just phone this in to the work experience intern ... and ... done. Add some talkback and that's Monday taken care of."

I have copies of rules from different eras. They're hard to find. I got the really old ones from state libraries. In the modern era I have rules for every year from 2015 on. Often they are not on the AFL web site. Nearly always I get them from regional comps such as the QAFL or from umpires web sites. Strangely enough, the "amendments" part IS from the AFL web site. Normally allergic to publishing anything about the rules -- and they let it go out of date when they do -- they have a page summarising the rule changes over the ages, without publishing the rules themselves. They really don't care.

All bow down to the Great God Television. We cross now to the vulgar spectacle of self absorbed ninnies in manufactured drama who will slit each other's throats in return for 15 minutes of fame, all for your edification and enjoyment. Right after these gambling ads. Agree, it's a bridge too far.

It was hard going scoring. Part of our inaccuracy was due to the pressure from the Tiges. They were flooding and giving us no space to work in. It backfired because it gave them no space to get the ball out of there. Hopefully that's our bad scoring game out of our system. I keep thinking of 2008 GF. Geelong 11.23 ! Weird how it feeds on itself and suddenly regulation shots like ANB's are impossible. Christian won't even look at "Captain Cotch". MFC peole are the only ones who'll care or even notice. But funny how "Captain Cotch" keeps getting into these situations. Our superstar ruckman/midfielder/forward is only 20 and still developing. How many 20 year olds in the comp are still seasons away from getting a regular game? Or fighting just to hold their place on a list? Our superstar will have his ups and downs yet.

Put everything into stopping us and result: couldn't score themselves.

OH [censored] I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DO IT?!?!?!

Rush him while roaring loudly to establish your dominance

Are these umpires [censored]-ing blind? This game is getting like soccer, which I will not watch unless it's the socceroos, because of the diving. Even then it [censored]-es me off when the socceroos do it.

If one of them's MASH, then they get a pass mark

Luke "I thought I believed X, but when Eddie said he believes Y, I realised I believe Y also" Darcy

Lachie Neale is allowed to run 25m without bouncing to score a goal.

The pre-game ceremony consists of 22 mins of gambling ads

Before the game they did gather around it nervously and poked it with crowbars & tyre jacks. Someone threw a ciggie lighter at it and they all took fright and retreated to the more open spaces.

Probably clashes with Celebrity Sex Island on Ice, or something.

This is why we DON'T want a huge undercover training facility. Give us Gosch's and Casey. No mollycoddling. Leave that to the clubs who prefer to stay indoors when it's a bit inclement.

Take it easy. And drink plenty of beer. Not all at once, just frequent sipping. Minimum two litres.

Under Buckley, Collingwood finished lower on the ladder every season until they got an assistant coach called Longmuir. Longmuir revolutionised their snail-like sideways ball movement and got them into a grand final. As soon as he was gone, they reverted and immediately went back down the ladder. Freo are a dangerous side for any team and can't be taken lightly. Only need a bit to go wrong on the day and they could get the choccies.

Post-flag letdown. Hard to stay motivated.