From our Queensland correspondent ...

NINETEENTH NERVOUS BREAKDOWN by Bananabender

The last time I saw a Melbourne team play, it was a pre season game in the summer when a half baked team played a half of football against Richmond and then capitulated to lose by about five or six goals.

This didn't fuss me at the time because it was just a Mickey Mouse practice match, many of the club's better players were missing, the team had a new coach in Dean Bailey, players were recovering from last year's injury woes, they were learning a new game plan and there were plenty of frothies to be drunk back at what was probably the cheapest motel in Cairns ... blah, blah blah …

Anyway, for whatever reason, I wasn't all that worried way back then.

I must say however, that what I saw of Melbourne today at the Gabba didn't particularly worry me either - it just caused me to suffer a total nervous breakdown.

The first half was simply disgraceful; the performance of team celebrating its 150th anniversary this year but one that would have the old time greats of the Melbourne Football Club turning in their graves. No skills, no pace, no strength, no tacking, no pressure, no heart and no soul. It was all so insipid, insidious and hopeless and believe me, I'm trying my hardest to be positive.

There was no sign that this team has learned anything from its new coach – or possibly ever will because there was absolutely no sense in playing the game the way Melbourne played it today. You simply can't chip the ball in circles around the backline without having some plan of attack somewhere down the line. As it was, on the odd occasion that there was no turnover and the ball moved forward it was easy for the Lions to mop up because it was so easy to see the ball coming.

In many ways, it is unfortunate for the club that Bailey wasn't coaching this team in Round 22 last year because, had he done so, the supporters would at least have had the first two draft selections to salivate over instead of possibly only the first.

Bailey told the media after the game that Melbourne's problems were obvious and they would need to be rectified at training, that he held the team back in the rooms after the game to focus on how they needed to not only decrease its turnovers, but speed up its movement of the ball. I'm surprised that after five practice matches, a week's break before the start of the season and six games for premiership points, that this fact has now suddenly become so obvious.

There was little to be enthused over for the day although it would be remiss of me not to mention the titanic efforts of Nathan Jones and Austin Wonaeamirri around the goals, Cameron Bruce and Brad Green (why is he not in the leadership group?) and defenders like Jared Rivers, James Frawley, Nathan Carroll and Daniel Bell who might have made their fair share of mistakes under pressure but that's what you get when the ball is pumped into their area with constant regularity. A few others tried hard and that's it but you can’t expect much when the team has no structure, is well beaten in the midfield and is bereft of any key position forwards. That's an indictment on every part of its football operations in the past and in the present.

The second half was a little better and the warm conditions probably helped the club win another final quarter because the Lions' players were stuffed after the hard efforts they put in during the first three quarters.

The first six rounds have now gone by and the club remains winless and with little hope on the horizon if today is anything to go by. The writing was on the wall as far as today's debacle was concerned when the selectors named a team that contained only the two compulsory changes after an embarrassing loss last week to Carlton so now is the time for the club to prove its worth. We were promised that after this round everything would be up for review. For a club that looked ordinary during the pre-season and has become totally dysfunctional since the premiership season began, it is a must that this promise is kept.

For me and my mates up here in the Sunshine State who wait with expectation to see our team live once a year, this has been one of the worst days we could possibly experience. It's now several hours after the game and we can't even muster up the will to open up our plentiful supply of XXXX on this day of the nervous breakdown – that's how much it hurts.

I wonder if the coach and the players are all suffering much as we are.

Brisbane 3.6.24 10.13.73 15.17.107 19.23.137

Melbourne 2.1.13 5.2.32 8.3.51 13.7.85

Goals

Brisbane Bradshaw 6 Hooper 4 Corrie 3 Brown Johnstone 2 Adcock Rischitelli

Melbourne Jones 4 Wonaeamirri 3 Miller Sylvia 2 Green Robertson

Best

Brisbane Black Power Corrie Macdonald Brennan Hooper

Melbourne Jones Wonaeamirri Green Bruce Moloney Rivers

Injuries

Brisbane nil

Melbourne Sylvia (shoulder)

Changes

Brisbane nil

Melbourne Garland by Warnock in the selected side

Reports nil

Umpires Nicholls Head Armstrong

Official Crowd 22,878 at Gabba

I am so tired of 'Bails this', 'Bails that', 'Bails watching players', 'Bails looking at performances' ' blah blah blah on this list. He has NO track record as a coach. And he has no leadership ability on display - check out the MFC leadership group chosen by the players!!!!!!!!! Where was Bailey?

No where.

Look back at the last 6 months - tell me ANYTHING he has done right!! (And you need to provide evidence!)

He is no-where, a loser, a nothing as a coach. Pathetic, abismal. Couldn't lead a conga at a premiership dinner, or teach a dog how to [censored].

I AM SO DISAPPOINTED. :angry: :angry:

I am so tired of 'Bails this', 'Bails that', 'Bails watching players', 'Bails looking at performances' ' blah blah blah on this list. He has NO track record as a coach. And he has no leadership ability on display - check out the MFC leadership group chosen by the players!!!!!!!!! Where was Bailey?

No where.

Look back at the last 6 months - tell me ANYTHING he has done right!! (And you need to provide evidence!)

He is no-where, a loser, a nothing as a coach. Pathetic, abismal. Couldn't lead a conga at a premiership dinner, or teach a dog how to [censored].

I AM SO DISAPPOINTED. :angry: :angry:

Alistair Clarkson is the last listed Melbourne Footballer to taste sucess as a coach - he too like Bails is a product of Port Adelaide FC under M Williams - early criticism sound familiar??

kevin sheedy lost his first 6 games as coach

we are improving

i'm just as dissapointed with Bailey as anyone else.

and we've had the worst start to a season probably since fitzroy in 96'.

however we were never going to be good in the first half of this season for 2 reasons.

1) he inherited a crap list. we have the worst list in the afl...by far. Every player on our list is either well past their best footy (Robbo, Bruce, White, Neitz etc), or well before playing their best footy (frawley, Garland, Jones, Morton etc). Not one of our players are really 'in their prime'.

2) he introduced a completely new gamestyle. Even the highly talented saints were pathetic in the first half of last season when they were trying to get used to their new game plan (sydney style). it was expected and no coach ever comes in and works miracles.

it also didn't help that we turned over 12 players last year. taking out so much experience in one shot always bodes disaster.

but i admit the signs aren't looking great for Bailey.

i cannot actually discern a game plan he is trying to implement. To me it just seems like our game plan is to turn it over across half back, and if we do make it to half forward just aimlessly bomb it forward with no real purpose

Were we better this week than we were against Hawthorn? If you honestly think we weren't, then feel free to criticize. Otherwise, rest assured that Dean Bailey is making progress with our list.

Alistair Clarkson is the last listed Melbourne Footballer to taste sucess as a coach - he too like Bails is a product of Port Adelaide FC under M Williams - early criticism sound familiar??

Angry, I do remember the significant losses Clarkson endured. But I don't remember the total lack of skills, and decision making week in week out, or the head shaking of ALL the football community. Bailey is establishing a new 0 in the 0 to 10 scale. Pathetic; can't lead, can't coach. :angry:

And please, spare me the "Bails" tag.

kevin sheedy lost his first 6 games as coach

we are improving

Your not going to convince Mono,s anti bailey rants by making legitimate examples

Good entertainment value though

but i admit the signs aren't looking great for Bailey.

i cannot actually discern a game plan he is trying to implement. To me it just seems like our game plan is to turn it over across half back, and if we do make it to half forward just aimlessly bomb it forward with no real purpose

Say no more.

Can't lead, can't coach.

So yo would have the coach responsible for the wayward actions and woeful decision making or sloppy play as performed by the players. ??

You serriously think THIS is what he would be training and instructing the players to do ??

I can understand your frustrations..but none of your argument.

and another random one

we have played against 5 of the top 8 teams this year in 6 games

Angry, I do remember the significant losses Clarkson endured. But I don't remember the total lack of skills, and decision making week in week out, or the head shaking of ALL the football community.

If you don't remember it then it is because you have a very short memory. The whole football media were criticizing Clarkson's handball crazy gameplan. They would handball so much that it became a common joke. They sucked int heir first year of it, but slowly got better at it and are now playing the style very well.

But you are irrational so this won't make a lick of difference to you.

Your not going to convince Mono,s anti bailey rants by making legitimate examples

Good entertainment value though

Hey Swamp. My [censored] antenor went up when Bailey was first appointed. I have hoped against hope since. Sincerely. As a MFC supporter, hope rather than conviction becomes your saviour.

but, apart from staying calm under the media eye, what else? there is absolutely no evidence of any leadership ability, or coaching ability.

I cry myself to sleep.

and another random one

we have played against 5 of the top 8 teams this year in 6 games

What about this stat -

Every team we have played this year has been above us on the ladder.

If you don't remember it then it is because you have a very short memory. The whole football media were criticizing Clarkson's handball crazy gameplan. They would handball so much that it became a common joke. They sucked int heir first year of it, but slowly got better at it and are now playing the style very well.

But you are irrational so this won't make a lick of difference to you.

I don't think I am. I think you are. I think you are hoping against hope. I Hope you are right.

I thought it was up to the players to demonstrate Leadership.. I get it..its because Bailey isnt running around the ground barking orders or holding their hands !!

What about this stat -

Every team we have played this year has been above us on the ladder.

As it will be for the rest of the year.

Y-M - you are losing your touch; no slagging off of Bruce, or praising Silvia. Having a quiet moment of reflection? <_<

Bailey: can't lead, can't coach.

So says you, oh master of all that is righteous in this world

So says you, oh master of all that is righteous in this world

Eastie, I have been hoping against hope that some things would go right this year, give us all something to look forward to each week. Bailey looked out of his depth when I first saw/listened to him; nothing has changed.

There has been nothing.

From our Queensland correspondent ...

There was no sign that this team has learned anything from its new coach – or possibly ever will because there was absolutely no sense in playing the game the way Melbourne played it today. You simply can't chip the ball in circles around the backline without having some plan of attack somewhere down the line. As it was, on the odd occasion that there was no turnover and the ball moved forward it was easy for the Lions to mop up because it was so easy to see the ball coming.

In many ways, it is unfortunate for the club that Bailey wasn't coaching this team in Round 22 last year because, had he done so, the supporters would at least have had the first two draft selections to salivate over instead of possibly only the first.

Touche! At least we would have got something out of whatever we are paying him.

Bailey told the media after the game that Melbourne's problems were obvious and they would need to be rectified at training, that he held the team back in the rooms after the game to focus on how they needed to not only decrease its turnovers, but speed up its movement of the ball. I'm surprised that after five practice matches, a week's break before the start of the season and six games for premiership points, that this fact has now suddenly become so obvious.

The first six rounds have now gone by and the club remains winless and with little hope on the horizon if today is anything to go by. The writing was on the wall as far as today's debacle was concerned when the selectors named a team that contained only the two compulsory changes after an embarrassing loss last week to Carlton so now is the time for the club to prove its worth. We were promised that after this round everything would be up for review. For a club that looked ordinary during the pre-season and has become totally dysfunctional since the premiership season began, it is a must that this promise is kept.

Don't hold your breath: Bailey can't lead, can't coach. Full stop!

kevin sheedy lost his first 6 games as coach

we are improving

where's he improvement?????????????? l just don't see it

Were we better this week than we were against Hawthorn? If you honestly think we weren't, then feel free to criticize. Otherwise, rest assured that Dean Bailey is making progress with our list.

the frickin' list is exactly, give or take a few, the same as it has been for the last 5 years. The guys going out on the park each week are the same blokes that have been doing it for the last 5 years with just a few changes. Everyone should shut the fu%k up about the list, its not the list its the lack of effort, of motivation.

What about this stat -

Every team we have played this year has been above us on the ladder.

the tankers are crap and they made us look second rate!!!!!!!!!!1

I am so tired of 'Bails this', 'Bails that', 'Bails watching players', 'Bails looking at performances' ' blah blah blah on this list. He has NO track record as a coach. And he has no leadership ability on display - check out the MFC leadership group chosen by the players!!!!!!!!! Where was Bailey?

No where.

Look back at the last 6 months - tell me ANYTHING he has done right!! (And you need to provide evidence!)

He is no-where, a loser, a nothing as a coach. Pathetic, abismal. Couldn't lead a conga at a premiership dinner, or teach a dog how to [censored].

I AM SO DISAPPOINTED. :angry: :angry:

Agree whole-heartedly.."Bails" has delivered NOTHING..non-competitive in EVERY game played this year..and anyone who suggests we are improving is kidding themselves..this was not the year fot an untried coach !

the frickin' list is exactly, give or take a few, the same as it has been for the last 5 years. The guys going out on the park each week are the same blokes that have been doing it for the last 5 years with just a few changes. Everyone should shut the fu%k up about the list, its not the list its the lack of effort, of motivation.

The game changes, players change.

Just cos they were half decent 5 years ago doesn't mean they're any good now.