Jump to content

Dear Diary

Demonstone
in Melbourne Demons

Featured Replies

Posted

Last week, I shared with you my memories of growing up and going to school with Jonathon Ceglar from Hawthorn.

This week, seeing as we're playing Richmond, I thought I'd reveal a number of strange messages I've been getting from Jason Castagna over the past couple of seasons.  I don’t know how this happened, but for some reason my phone number is in Jason's  phone as “Diary”.  I was only able to work this out after I started getting all these texts from him that started “Dear diary”. This is probably the best thread to share some of them in so here goes…

Dear diary, I had this idea today to finally see what happens inside a dishwasher when it’s on. Dimma said he didn’t have any scuba gear I could borrow though and reckons no one else at the club would either.

Dear diary, Shane Edwards called me a midget at training yesterday so today I went to Luna Park to check if I was tall enough to go on all the rides and it turns out I am so he’s wrong. I didn’t actually go on any of the rides because I'd had too much Coke Zero.

Dear diary, got a massive fright earlier today. I went to grab my phone but accidentally grabbed my iPad and for a moment I thought I had shrunk.

Dear diary, was late to training today because I poured a can of Red Bull onto my garden and then got about halfway through drinking 20 litres of water out of the watering can before I realised what I’d done.

Dear diary, today I went to Ikea with Dion Prestia to get some stuff for his new place. At the checkout the lady said "Are you gonna pay for the plunger too?"  "What plunger?" I said. Turns out one had fallen off a shelf and stuck to my head about 20 minutes earlier and Dion said he didn’t know how to bring it up so didn’t say anything.

Dear diary, me and some of the boys went paintballing. I wasn’t very good, I kept getting shot in the face mask in like the first minute of each round. During the lunch break the guy working there showed me how to hold the gun around the right way and I played much better after that.

Dear diary, some of the AFLW players were doing handstands and so I gave it a shot, but it turns out you need to put your arms on the ground yourself first - it doesn’t just happen automatically. Seeing the dentist tomorrow.

Dear diary, I went to the ice rink today with Tom Lynch and Nick Vlastuin and whizzed around a few laps but didn’t like it much because my feet got really cold and wet. Nick reckons I’d enjoy it more if I wore skates out there but I’m not so sure.

Dear diary, took the cheese greater I bought at Ikea the other week back because it didn’t make the cheese greater at all, it just cut it up into really small bits.

Dear diary, I watched Toy Story 3 tonight. About halfway through one of my teddy bears fell off the shelf onto my face. The Fire Brigade guys that helped me down reckon my ceiling will need to be replaced.

Dear diary, I went for a run today but it was pretty boring, so I decided to chuck a stick as far as I could, then run after it and do it again. Set a PB for 5k. No wonder dogs really love doing that.

Dear diary, I don’t think Jack Reiwoldt likes me. We were over in Adelaide playing Port Adelaide and I got a postcard from Jack that said “Miss you and wish you were here” and the picture on the back was of him taking a dump on my bed at home.

Dear diary, at the airport the airplane lady asked if I wanted a seat with extra leg room and I said no thanks. I don’t know why she asked me that because I only have two legs.

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    • Haha 7
     

    My top 3:

     

    19 minutes ago, demonstone said:

     

    Dear diary, got a massive fright earlier today. I went to grab my phone but accidentally grabbed my iPad and for a moment I thought I had shrunk.

    Dear diary, me and some of the boys went paintballing. I wasn’t very good, I kept getting shot in the face mask in like the first minute of each round. During the lunch break the guy working there showed me how to hold the gun around the right way and I played much better after that.

    Dear diary, some of the AFLW players were doing handstands and so I gave it a shot, but it turns out you need to put your arms on the ground yourself first - it doesn’t just happen automatically. Seeing the dentist tomorrow.

     

  • Quote
    • Like 2
    41 minutes ago, demonstone said:

    “Dear diary”.....etc

    Awesome 'demonstone'! great read, that was the laugh I needed tonight.

    Thanks mate...

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    • Thanks 1
     

    Where are you getting the californian blue moons from ?

  • Quote
    • Haha 2
    12 hours ago, dl4e said:

    Where are you getting the californian blue moons from ?

    I’m guessing California. But not very often.

  • Quote

    • Join the conversation

    You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

    Guest
    Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
    Reply to this topic...
    Go to topic listing

    Featured Content

    • PREVIEW: Carlton

      Good evening, Demon fans and welcome back to the Demonland Podcast ... it’s time to discuss this week’s game against the Blues. Will the Demons celebrate Clayton Oliver’s 200th game with a victory? We have a number of callers waiting on line … Leopold Bloom: Carlton and Melbourne are both out of finals contention with six wins and eleven losses, and are undoubtedly the two most underwhelming and disappointing teams of 2025. Both had high expectations at the start of participating and advancing deep into the finals, but instead, they have consistently underperformed and disappointed themselves and their supporters throughout the year. However, I am inclined to give the Demons the benefit of the doubt, as they have made some progress in addressing their issues after a disastrous start. In contrast, the Blues are struggling across the board and do not appear to be making any notable improvements. They are regressing, and a significant loss is looming on Saturday night. Max Gawn in the ruck will be huge and the Demon midfield have a point to prove after lowering their colours in so many close calls.

        • Clap
        • Like
      • 0 replies
      Demonland

    • REPORT: North Melbourne

      I suppose that I should apologise for the title of this piece, but the temptation to go with it was far too great. The memory of how North Melbourne tore Melbourne apart at the seams earlier in the season and the way in which it set the scene for the club’s demise so early in the piece has been weighing heavily upon all of us. This game was a must-win from the club’s perspective, and the team’s response was overwhelming. The 36 point win over Alastair Clarkson’s Kangaroos at the MCG on Sunday was indeed — roovenge of the highest order!

        • Love
        • Thanks
        • Like
      • 4 replies
      Demonland

    • CASEY: Werribee

      The Casey Demons remain in contention for a VFL finals berth following a comprehensive 76-point victory over the Werribee Tigers at Whitten Oval last night. The caveat to the performance is that the once mighty Tigers have been raided of many key players and are now a shadow of the premiership-winning team from last season. The team suffered a blow before the game when veteran Tom McDonald was withdrawn for senior duty to cover for Steven May who is ill.  However, after conceding the first goal of the game, Casey was dominant from ten minutes in until the very end and despite some early errors and inaccuracy, they managed to warm to the task of dismantling the Tigers with precision, particularly after half time when the nominally home side provided them with minimal resistance.

        • Thanks
      • 0 replies
      Demonland

    • PREGAME: Carlton

      The Demons return to the MCG as the the visiting team on Saturday night to take on the Blues who are under siege after 4 straight losses. Who comes in and who goes out?

        • Thanks
      • 206 replies
      Demonland

    • PODCAST: North Melbourne

      The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Monday, 14th July @ 8:00pm. Join Binman & I as we dissect the Dees glorious win over the Kangaroos at the MCG.
      Your questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show.
      Listen LIVE: https://demonland.com/

        • Thanks
        • Like
      • 29 replies
      Demonland

    • POSTGAME: North Melbourne

      The Demons are finally back at the MCG and finally back on the winners list as they continually chipped away at a spirited Kangaroos side eventually breaking their backs and opening the floodgates to run out winners by 6 goals.

        • Haha
        • Love
        • Thanks
        • Like
      • 253 replies
      Demonland
    View All