Dear Diary

[Demonstone 20,034]

Last week, I shared with you my memories of growing up and going to school with Jonathon Ceglar from Hawthorn.

This week, seeing as we're playing Richmond, I thought I'd reveal a number of strange messages I've been getting from Jason Castagna over the past couple of seasons.  I don’t know how this happened, but for some reason my phone number is in Jason's  phone as “Diary”.  I was only able to work this out after I started getting all these texts from him that started “Dear diary”. This is probably the best thread to share some of them in so here goes…

Dear diary, I had this idea today to finally see what happens inside a dishwasher when it’s on. Dimma said he didn’t have any scuba gear I could borrow though and reckons no one else at the club would either.

Dear diary, Shane Edwards called me a midget at training yesterday so today I went to Luna Park to check if I was tall enough to go on all the rides and it turns out I am so he’s wrong. I didn’t actually go on any of the rides because I'd had too much Coke Zero.

Dear diary, got a massive fright earlier today. I went to grab my phone but accidentally grabbed my iPad and for a moment I thought I had shrunk.

Dear diary, was late to training today because I poured a can of Red Bull onto my garden and then got about halfway through drinking 20 litres of water out of the watering can before I realised what I’d done.

Dear diary, today I went to Ikea with Dion Prestia to get some stuff for his new place. At the checkout the lady said "Are you gonna pay for the plunger too?"  "What plunger?" I said. Turns out one had fallen off a shelf and stuck to my head about 20 minutes earlier and Dion said he didn’t know how to bring it up so didn’t say anything.

Dear diary, me and some of the boys went paintballing. I wasn’t very good, I kept getting shot in the face mask in like the first minute of each round. During the lunch break the guy working there showed me how to hold the gun around the right way and I played much better after that.

Dear diary, some of the AFLW players were doing handstands and so I gave it a shot, but it turns out you need to put your arms on the ground yourself first - it doesn’t just happen automatically. Seeing the dentist tomorrow.

Dear diary, I went to the ice rink today with Tom Lynch and Nick Vlastuin and whizzed around a few laps but didn’t like it much because my feet got really cold and wet. Nick reckons I’d enjoy it more if I wore skates out there but I’m not so sure.

Dear diary, took the cheese greater I bought at Ikea the other week back because it didn’t make the cheese greater at all, it just cut it up into really small bits.

Dear diary, I watched Toy Story 3 tonight. About halfway through one of my teddy bears fell off the shelf onto my face. The Fire Brigade guys that helped me down reckon my ceiling will need to be replaced.

Dear diary, I went for a run today but it was pretty boring, so I decided to chuck a stick as far as I could, then run after it and do it again. Set a PB for 5k. No wonder dogs really love doing that.

Dear diary, I don’t think Jack Reiwoldt likes me. We were over in Adelaide playing Port Adelaide and I got a postcard from Jack that said “Miss you and wish you were here” and the picture on the back was of him taking a dump on my bed at home.

Dear diary, at the airport the airplane lady asked if I wanted a seat with extra leg room and I said no thanks. I don’t know why she asked me that because I only have two legs.

[Chook 14,702]

My top 3:

 

19 minutes ago, demonstone said:

 

Dear diary, got a massive fright earlier today. I went to grab my phone but accidentally grabbed my iPad and for a moment I thought I had shrunk.

Dear diary, me and some of the boys went paintballing. I wasn’t very good, I kept getting shot in the face mask in like the first minute of each round. During the lunch break the guy working there showed me how to hold the gun around the right way and I played much better after that.

Dear diary, some of the AFLW players were doing handstands and so I gave it a shot, but it turns out you need to put your arms on the ground yourself first - it doesn’t just happen automatically. Seeing the dentist tomorrow.

 

[rjay 24,193]

41 minutes ago, demonstone said:

“Dear diary”.....etc

Awesome 'demonstone'! great read, that was the laugh I needed tonight.

Thanks mate...

[dl4e 5,702]

Where are you getting the californian blue moons from ?

[Fanatique Demon 2,479]

12 hours ago, dl4e said:

Where are you getting the californian blue moons from ?

I’m guessing California. But not very often.