La Dee-vina Comedia

The failure might be mine, QD. The lack of a sarcasm font is one of Demonland's great weaknesses. (The others are the incomprehensibly nanny-ish auto-censor and Demonland's lack of auto-correct to pick up obvious spelling mistakes...meaning we have to rely on the plenitude of pedants found on this site.)

Customs, maybe? Not that it matters. I'm not sure Joe would know what a customer is, or customs, or what the role of an official might be or where Dakar is.

I think Christian Salem should sue for defamation. How can he be the second least valuable player on that board?

Just imagine the "Embarrassing Records" thread for St Kilda. Starting with "we average one Premiership every 125 years".

When writing, try to avoid ambiguity. This is from Peter Ryan in The Age today about Ross Lyon: So, is Brendon Goddard saying Ross Lyon would stop the Bombers from succeeding? Or fix the cultural issues which are stopping the Bombers from succeeding. Obviously, it's intended to be the second, but that's not what the reader interprets the phrase to mean on first reading. (Second hint: I'm not an English teacher, but I would suggest that the sentence is also too long and should be cut into two.)

T Mac himself spoke about how the club's psychologist had worked with him and that they had discovered that he felt he was too mentally constrained if he was "stuck" deep in the forward line. He said at the time that he may spend some time on the wing to allow him to remove those mental shackles.

Who's the player for the red team on Luke Jackson's left (that is, on the RHS of the photo)?

Maybe. But I thought there was a thread specifically about The Age article which Layzie has found for us. The Age article was published in May 2016 whereas the thread you've found was from a couple of months later. Not that it matters, but it's hard to believe that The Age story could have been totally ignored by Demonland at the time.

Thanks Layzie. That's definitely the article I was thinking of. I'm pretty sure Demonland also had a thread about it once the story appeared.

He loved football. My favourite story about Gordon Lewis is that in the 1960s he used to provide the now defunct Herald newspaper with the results each week of a country league competition. The Herald published the results every week. The only problem was that there was no such league and he made up the results every week. (Which also goes to show that fake news is not a new phenomenon.)

He was a great full forward, but he'd be 94 if he were alive today and wouldn't qualify.

Judge Gordon Lewis passed away earlier this week. He was not a Melbourne player or supporter but in the 1980s was critical to our ongoing existence. In the mid-1980s, before he became a County Court judge, he was Commissioner for Corporate Affairs (a job that no longer exists). In that role he wrote to the then head of the VFL, Jack Hamilton, to advise that seven clubs, including Melbourne, were trading while technically insolvent and if the VFL did not provide him with a plan for the future, he would have to wind them up. The plan the VFL came up with was expansion into WA and SA (although, in the end, it became Queensland, rather than SA) with the money for the new licenses and other expanded revenue streams, such as national TV rights, saving the seven clubs. Judge Lewis subsequently said in interviews that he had no power to do what he did and he was sticking his neck out by giving the VFL the opportunity to rectify its problems. If he had done what he was legally required to do, he would have wound us up and we would have disappeared before the end of the 1980s. So, when we (rightfully) praise Jim Stynes, Joe Gutnick and others who have helped Melbourne survive, it's worth remembering that Judge Lewis was also integral in the survival of the Melbourne Football Club. The Age published a story about this about 10 years ago which I think was covered in Demonland. Someone with search skills better than me might find that thread.

"How can I get a Seinfeld reference into this thread about Moore Park?"

I don't know if I subscribe to this view. But if we accept the premise, we're running out of time and matches for him to play in. For that reason, should he play as soon as possible to "find form" ASAP? Against that view is (1) who would come out for him? and (2) is it too much of a risk to play him if we're not confident he will contribute sufficiently? They're not easy questions to answer.

Is this a publicly voted team? The AFL story says, "A whopping 97 per cent of fans had Collingwood first-year sensation Nick Daicos in their side, with Brayshaw and Geelong key back Sam De Koning named in 95 per cent of teams." It doesn't actually say that the team was selected by "fans", but the inference is there.

I'm curious. How does the NRL manage their fixture and playing arrangements? Does every team play every other team twice? NB: I know they have one difference that could potentially affect the ultimate ladder position and that is the three State of Origin games which interferes with team selections for those who play in those games.

The more I think about it, the more I'm starting to wonder about Essendon engaging a former coach with Essendon experience on a one year contract to hold the fort while they get their house together. That could be Sheedy, Mark Harvey or Dean Solomon. As long as the person they choose knows it's only for one year, they take the appointment with no unrealistic expectations. It allows the review to be done, the changes to be implemented and possibly a new board to be installed. It's not necessarily a wasted year and they don't burn another new coach in the process.

You forgot to mention Hird knows how to supplement the list. More seriously, I'm wondering whether Jobe Watson's comment on Channel 7 before the Essendon v Richmond game has more to it. In essence he said that any Essendon people looking for a saviour should join a religion. (it was a good line and well delivered). I am wondering whether it was anti-Hird or just anti-problematic Essendon "influencers"?

It's not just their fitness levels. We should also praise Griffiths because we've had so few muscle strains. I'm sure that's a product of the regimen he puts them through. Injuries can kill your season and while collision style injuries are unavoidable, it's impressive how few players we have had missing with muscle injuries.

The inequities of the draw were possibly exacerbated by there being three (nearly four) of last year's finalists who have missed out on finals this year. Not only have Essendon and GWS missed finals, they've plummeted down the ladder. In addition, early in the year Port Adelaide were horrendous. The AFL attempts to minimise inequities, but because the methodology has no choice but to be backward looking, it's always possible that a draw that starts as even as possible can be blown out - to be easier or harder - by the way teams actually perform. In the end, I'm not sure it matters. Would you rather be going into finals having had soft wins against inferior opposition or battle-hardened by having played teams also preparing to play finals?

I can understand what you're saying as I prefer day games, too, but I'll take a season like this with mostly night games over mostly day games when we lose more than we win, even if that means having to watch many of them on TV.

I can't remember who it was but an AFL coach about 20-30 years ago said that he wanted his team to be seen as a seriously good team in the competition. I'm paraphrasing, but he said seriously good teams don't "just" make finals and get knocked out quickly and seriously good teams don't just win one premiership and then disappear for a stretch. I think we are now a seriously good team. Postscrip: The coach may have been Terry Wheeler or someone at the Bulldogs.

I'm old enough to remember when the expression "quotation marks" was not allowed. They always had to be called "inverted commas". And they were always double, irrespective of their use.

Spargo has played the last 48 or 49 games in a row. That's win, lose or draw. What makes him the talisman? Are you saying that when he plays well we win? I'm struggling with that given his performance in the last two games.

Some tough markers here. I thought ANB played a highly disciplined game trying to keep Rich out of the play. He ran him around by doing his usual gut running which Rich couldn't keep up with and which he does to clear paths for players like Petracca, Pickett and Fritsch. It wasn't ANB's best game and he didn't prevent Rich from getting the ball all the time, but I thought he was still pretty good. The only change I can foresee is Salem in for Bowey. The tougher question might be the following week: If Tom McDonald is ready, who would he come in for?