La Dee-vina Comedia

A sparrow that walks like a swan? Doesn't even sound possible.

You seem to be channelling a former PM who is not worthy of naming who (in)famously said that Workchoices was "dead, buried and cremated".

That's why I suggested mounting a sentimental campaign rather than one based on common sense or logic. It's amazing the foolish things the human race will do in response to sentimentality. (Next you'll be arguing that anyone associated with Collingwood aren't actually part of the human race. Can't argue with that.)

The better strategy would be to mount a sentimental campaign for Collingwood to relocate to Victoria Park. We could then take over Olympic Park

RG is correct that Governments and Opposition parties will use creative language when necessary to give them subsequent wriggle room should they want to do something (or not do something) which they were to politically scared to support (or oppose) prior to an election. I'm not saying, however, that in this instance that any non-specific response should be presumed to disguise a particular position.

I suspect the lack of foresight wasn't the only problem. I presume we would have had insufficient financial resources to do anything there anyway.

Maybe we weren't asking for enough in the first place. Perhaps we should have added a Formula 1 track to Yarra Park and to raise the railway to a Skyrail to the plans and then agreed to a mediated compromise by removing the F1 component and the Skyrail. Isn't that the way politics is meant to work?

I must have caught a different strain of MFCSS. I'm the eternal optimist (otherwsie known as the glass half full sort of guy) who goes to games in a positive frame of mind irrespective of when logic suggests otherwise. And even as an optimist, I still assume we'll find a way to stuff it up next year.

I said he was a victim who inflicted it upon himself. I didn't say anyone had to feel sorry for him.

Bugg is a victim in the same way Gaff is. Self-inflicted, but nevertheless impacted by his own foolish action.

They can both be victims. Brayshaw is a victim of the physical impact while Gaff may be a psychological victim from feeling guilty. The fact that Gaff made the violent contact does not stop him from being a victim albeit one that was self-imposed.

I don't think it worried us when we were interested in Jake Lever. I have no problem at all with clubs talking to players during the season. It's a professional competition and the players and the clubs are both striving to make the best deals they can. Nevertheless, I don't like the NRL system where players announce during the season that they will be playing with a different team the following year, but I suspect it will inevitably happen in the AFL and we'll all just get used to it.

I noticed during the week that the AFL Store was selling large pictures of three Melbourne players (Gawn was one, can't remember the other two) and Hogan in his Melbourne gear which was marked down by 50%. I suspect they will still sell zero. Even if given away at no charge I can't see who would want one.

I agree about the saturation issue. I'm no fan of Thursday night football (unless it's a special occasion, such as the night before Good Friday or ANZAC Eve) as it has the effect of diluting the weekend. I'm also not psychologically ready for it. It's the same with cricket. Why we're playing international cricket in Australia in November makes no sense to me. Clearly the Australian public isn't ready for that, either.

I have an alternate view. Instead of being satisfied if he "can take a few games by the scruff of the neck" my preference is for him to become a consistent, solid option. Someone who gets picked every week, takes contested marks and kicks goals regularly without necessarily dominating individual games.

I've said this before, but the role of a Captain is not just about what happens on the field. I have no idea whether Hutchins is a good captain or not, but making a judgment as to the suitability of being a captain on the basis of what happened on the field, particularly in one game, is a fraught exercise.

Nup. He was just a kid being influenced by his Manager and his Dad. Let it go.

Personally, I think booing should be reserved for umpires and anyone associated with Collingwood.

While I like your nostalgia, you do realise there is nothing stopping you from sitting at half-time with your thermos and fruit cake and discussing the progress of the game with your family, friends or bloke sitting next to you? And I'll defend the game and the spectacle as it is today. Apart from anything else, getting to watch it played on grass instead of mud and while sitting undercover instead of standing in the rain help make the experience better. Players are fitter, stronger and on average, better skilled. It's the non-football activities which are spoiling the experience. For example, I'd much rather watch a Reserves match than a couple of mascots doing handstands.

Which reminds me of Michael Voss's famous sledge when he tried to put his brother Brett off when having a shot for goal: "My Dad slept with your Mum last night". (Although I don't think he used the words "slept with").

While I can see the resemblance between Nick Reiwoldt and the animal (an alpaca?) I can also see where Sam McClure got the inspiration for his hairstyle. (Sam, if you're reading this, it's time you grew up and got a proper adult's haircut).

I would suggest that the synergy of linking Hames with Harmes should be a marketing opportunity made in heaven. Would it be appropriate to ask contestants at the quarter time break to do something with their r's?

This is an important part of the investment equation which some seem to not understand. While we had good value from Hogan as a player we also extracted value from him as a trade. There's no way we would have got May and Kolodjashnij without having had Hogan to trade. I know it's commoditizing players to describe them this way, but Hogan was a valuable asset both as a player and as trade currency. In other words, his value to the club extends beyond the years he played with us.

I'm not having a got at you my dear Watson, but saying we lost 47 goals assumes that if Hogan hadn't played in those games where he kicked those 47 goals, his replacement would not have kicked any either. That's highly unlikely. It's not possible to know what that number might have been, but it's certainly not going to be as high as 47.