La Dee-vina Comedia

Can we put together a list of our current players' real nicknames, meaning the ones that are used by the players' themselves, rather than the ones supporters might like to use? I know Jones is 'Chunk' but what are other players known as? I've heard some people call Harmes 'Nut' and others call him 'Chomp'. But are either, or both, actually what his team-mates use? If posters want to add their own ideas, please make clear it's not the player's true nickname. What I want this thread to tell me is what players' nicknames actually are.

I might just go with Coca Cola.

Surprised he came to Melbourne, then. He's taking a huge risk.

Not only are we now a tough side, but we seem to be more disciplined. I noticed on Brownlow Night that we had no-one ineligible through suspension. I may be wrong, but I think no other team had zero ineligible players.

I like this line in the MFC release just emailed to me: "The addition of Kolodjashnij will enhance Melbourne’s transition play from the backline, while defender May is one the biggest names switching clubs this off-season." I haven't checked, but I suspect Kolodjashnij will have been the biggest name, while May will likely have been the shortest.

The left footer silky kickers seem to lean back a little more when they kick, too. The best right foot kicks, such as Shaun Burgoyne, Nathan Buckley and Darren Jarman are or were all superb kicks, but were more upright as they kicked the ball and (notwithstanding Burgoyne's nickname) not really "silky" in their kicking action.

The big effect of playing two true ruckman is not just that one of them might play forward but that our two genuine KPFs won't be spending time as bit-part ruckmen. That means McDonald and Weideman will be in the forward line together for much longer periods not just because they won't be up the ground rucking but because they won't need to spend as much time off the ground to give them the energy needed to run all around the ground as the second ruckman.

I think that's overstating Kent's historical performance. Yes, he kicked an average of 1 goal a game (63 games for 63 goals) but that works out at approx 10 goals per year over his 6 years with us.

How many people at age 23 think the same way as when they were 17? I just wonder whether Hogan has lost the degree of interest in football that he had when we first recruited him. There's no shame in that. I'm pretty sure when I was 23 I would be embarrassed to still love doing the things I loved doing when I was 17. Moving clubs and States may well be what he needs to re-generate enthusiasm for the game. (And if he becomes a dominant player in the competition in 2019 I'll console myself with the thought that it would not have happened if he'd stayed with us.)

Don't cry for me, Jesse Hogan The truth is, I never left you All through my wild days, my Neeld existence I kept my promise Now keep your distance

As an aside, and placed in this thread because it's the most problematic...I haven't had a day at work as unproductive as this one since the day Paul Roos was announced as coach. Damn you Demonland!

Although it was done much earlier in the Trade period, it always seemed to me that Preuss coming in was a sign that the club knew that Hogan would be leaving. It now makes sense that Preuss and Gawn can play in the same side with McDonald and Weideman.

Wow. You got through the five stages of grief in record time!

Striking visuals. Unbefitting of Demonland.

My understanding of negotiation in any business is that you start off asking for more than you're likely to get. And everybody involved in the deal knows it. I would hardly expect Mahoney to ask for something and then be given more than he wanted. I can't understand why people seem surprised or disappointed that we didn't get what was surely an initial ambit claim.

Except without Lachie Neale, how are Fremantle going to get the to their forwards? Fyfe will do a lot of the heavy lifting, but who else?

I think there's some internal inconsistency in this post. How is it that our list is in such good shape if we are weak at the trade table?

This. Exactly.

True. And Hogan has never kicked 50 goals in a season. I wish him well and hope he will be happy in his new home but don't feel particularly disappointed that he's gone. In my view he never really lived up to expectations. Sure, he played some great games, but for various reasons, some outside his control, he was inconsistent and not really embedded as a team player.

I see what you did there. Well done.

What is it that makes left footers look more "silky" with their kicking skills than right footers? It's not just Yze, Green and Salem. Add Kent, Hodge, Lewis and many more. And yet I can't think of one right foot kick that I would describe as "silky" even though there are obviously plenty of excellent right foot kickers out there.

I predict that if we should secure his services, Kolodjashnij will become the most commonly mis-spelt name on Demonland. And that will be an achievement following on from the sometimes absurdly simple (for example, Mitch Clark/Clarke) to the understandable...where are the capitalised letters in vandenBerg's name?

I've been wondering what he might do next. What sort of Masters degree has he earned? (And doesn't he own a shirt with collar and sleeves he could have worn to this event?)

I suspect so, but defenders would have to be able to move at the speed of light because they will be some way back from the end of the goal square (as happens now). So, unless the umpire has called play on, the defender won't be able to get near the kicker. Pretty much what happens now with the dinky little "kick-to-self".

That's a very indirect route for Jesse to take to get home to Perth. The only way I could see this happening is if Hogan is so desperate to leave the MFC he'll go anywhere, and nothing I've heard or read suggests this is the case.