Tarax Club

Never! Waited lfor 57 years, 12 extra hours is nothing!

Woke up feeling like when I was kid Christmas morning. Sun is shining here it’s going to be a great day!

Max might be the messiah but you sir are the prophet. Any tips for the double at dapto?

Sh*te! And the ‘Bont’ was meant to pick up Naughton, Smith and Weightman from Teddy’s hairdressing salon!

Can now reveal under Freedom of information legislation (thank you Premier McGowan) on AFL Grand Final morning. That your Top End correspondents have managed to ‘negotiate’ the WA frontier and have been ‘embedded’ in the Demons campaign here in Perth. We will endeavour as representatives of demon land to be on our ‘best’ behaviour all day and honour the traditional proprieties but there are no guarantees after the siren🚨! Just to give you folks back in the demon heartland some local colour. Former captain Gary Lyon is ensconced in the Crown Casino Towers, a little too rich for us humble folk down here at ground zero in an air b&b. We have ‘co-mingled’ as much as is possible with the troops and can report team morale is high and the preparation for ‘battle’ is at an absolute optimum. The locals are ‘abuzz’ with the prospect of a Perth based Grand Final. With a perceptible groundswell of support for the red and the blue. The local media coverage with Ben Cousins redemption prominent, the Nik Nat and Nat show is in full swing. As expected the eagles and dockers don’t seem to disappear with seemingly acres of column space devoted to their post-season trivia. Just inside the back pages. Of the local demonland identities? We are on the lookout for a vintage Ford Mustang on high revs, screaming about the Swan river escarpment. But alas no sightings as yet, besides the public transport infrastructure has improved significantly since our last visit. When we bravely stood on the terraces at Subiaco to barrack on Robbie Flower resplendent in the Big White V. Pennant St Dee and Chook are indubitably out there and will be in attendance. Although we are reliably informed DannyZ up early for breakfast has apparently choked on his porridge.

I’M YOUR HOOCHIE COOCHE MAN The gypsy man told my mother Before l was born l got a boy child’s coming He gonna be a son of a gun He gonna make pretty woman Jump and shout Then the world gonna know What this all about Cause you know I’m here Everybody knows I’m here Yeah you know I’m a hoochie coochie man Everybody knows I’m here I got a black cat bone I got a mojo too I got the Johnny Concheroo too I’m gonna mess with you I’m gonna make the girls lead me by the hand Then the world’s gonna know The hoochie coochie man But you know I’m here Everybody knows I’m here Yeah you know I’m a hoochie coochie man Everybody knows I’m here On the seventh hour On the seventh day On the seventh month The seven doctors said He was born for good luck And you’ll see I got seven hundred dollars Don’t you mess with me But you know I’m here Yeah you know I’m a hoochie coochie man Everybody knows I’m here Song By Willie Dixon Recorded by Muddy Waters 7th January 1954 Chess Records

Magfcukingnificent!

Magfcukingnificent!

When you’re channeling a bunch of choir boys and constantly attempting to. hijack the decision making process or appealing the umpires ruling karma applies.

An absolute second half goalfest. LoLo may be a stylish way to get your lockdown home delivery but the floating rear suspension is so passé. Pump up your shocks! Enjoyed the Browns' contributions, Mitch unfortunately out with an inopportune injury, Ben showing something up forward and Campbell would be a major improvement in the big league. Talks common sense with more than a hint of authority. Plenty to like about from the guys that played, both veterans and rookies. Is Aaron Vandenberg a chance of a recall at some stage? Body and Soul player at his best.

Chocos out there doing his thing. Encouraging the next generation.

6 Angus Brayshaw 5 Steven May 4 Jayden Hunt 3 Jake Lever 2 Ed Langdon 1. Tom Sparrow Honourable mentions; Max Gawn Christian Petracca Christian Salem Overall performance; ? After an at times proliferate exhibition turned the defensive screws to take the four points.

Stanley Laurel Harmes and Oliver Hardy show is not amusing. Clear message at half time... Dump the Hollywood nonsense now!

Time for some old school footy at the "G", give this mob of recalcitrant schoolboys a spanking. There's Darcy Parish, first/18 material we're told, who after a lengthy and indeterminate traineeship, is showing signs he about ready to matriculate. Trouble is there's a fly in the ointment. Clayton Oliver whose blue collar on the coal face approach, is guaranteed to heat up the contested ball contests at centre and boundary clearances. Too hot we fear for donish dilettantes. Keeping with the school analogy we fail to see any enforcer or school yard bully. But Jake Stringer best keep his Angus Young costume in the wardrobe and stay well clear of the school gate. With school hols starting its free passes to Luna Park. Demons 'home' deliver six of the best and send these pretenders packing.

The Age may have shrunk from a broadsheet to a tabloid but fortunately the bean counters overlooked Realfooty. Where quality niche journalism still resides. Oscar may be back on the farm but Tom clearly has unfinished business in the big smoke.

Its dinner time up here Rab! After lockdown #4 and now the bye, admittedly missing your pre-match Game Day culinary and hostelry bloggings.

Any egg and bacon rolls sighted?

Rinse Spin and Repeat Nathan Buckley revisits the crossroads Mark 2. Sells his soul to the devil, miraculously his team arises from the dreary depths of the AFL ladder and the demons comply. Presto! Bucks' reputation remains intact and the mythology persists. Last time El Diablo (Eddy) rewards Bucks with a new coaching contract. This time who knows but 'success' does have its own intrinsic rewards...

6 Luke Jackson 5 Max Gawn 4 Christian Petracca 3 Christian Salem 2 James Jordan 1 Jayden Hunt Honourable mentions; Ed Langdon Steven May Jake Lever Clayton Oliver Overall performance; Beaten by better team on the day. Mid-Season break an opportunity to rest and reset.

Under utilised in OO too. Meanwhile the ‘Ugly Step Sisters’ get all the DL column space. Post ‘her’ brief but spectacular appearance at the Hawthorn Ball, Cinderella (MB) patiently awaits for Prince Charming (Goody) to get the second tall forward position ?properly fitted. Hopefully the horse and carriage doesn’t’ turn into a ?.

Great to see Neale still 'playing on'. One of our favourite human beings. An inspirational man to many others, both in and out of footy. Despite being slightly overshadowed this year by other events, may BiG Freeze at 'G' remain a Melbourne sporting institution on Queen's Birthday Monday for years to come. And some sunshine be bought to bear on MND, it's treatment and the hope of a future cure.

So who plays the abhorrent Beria, Eddie McGuire? Marginalized but still attempting to pull strings as the wannabe puppet master. Eddie not unlike Peter Sellars reprising Dr Strangelove, is capable of multiple roles in this black and white comedy, so will also play Stalin the newly deceased dictator). Mark Korda is typecast as Malenkev the heir apparent. Bridie O'Donnell courtesy of central committee casting will be Sventlana. Tony Shaw hideous choice, (there was no one else available) plays Vasily purely for his comic slapstick. That leaves Jeff Browne as a cunning Machiavellian figure, manipulating his ascent to power as Nikita Khrushchev. Throw in Peter Moore as Molotov and Nathan Buckley can enjoy his Figjam on crumpet.

1 Christian Petracca 2 Clayton Oliver 3 Tom McDonald 4 Kysaiah Pickett 5 Alex Neale- Bullen 6 Trent Rivers Honourable mentions; Max Gawn Charlie Spargo Steven May Angus Brayshaw Tom Sparrow Overall performance; Full blooded team response after subdued first half.