Ron Burgundy

There are not many other players who have done more for this club.

I don’t really care about Ablett and any alleged bias towards him for some reason. But if it was Bernie (my favourite ever Demon), I’m sure he would’ve got three weeks. The tribunal clearly favours nerds over cheeky dudes with personality.

May turned up unfit. The club was not happy and justifiably so. This was poor form, and unprofessional. Since then: - May trained well, he seemed to integrate well with the players, and he got fit; - he got suspended for a hit during a pre-season game, which was at best a line ball suspension, and which ruled him out for the first game of the season - Bernie Vince (a club favourite) and Jordan Lewis (a leader in the club) have done much worse during the actual season, and far more regularly - in any event, we need May’s hardness in defence, so while disappointing, it was hardly a hangable offence; - he then did his hammy - there is little evidence to suggest that this was related to the condition at which he arrived at the club as he got fit - if anything it’s probably Misson’s fault; - he then seems to have had a few beers at the pub last Sunday afternoon - which Paul Roos expressly asked Tom Morris on OTC, “was this just one or two beers?”, to which Tom Morris replied “no, it was a drinking session” - seems like a sensationalist non-story to me, and yet it’s triggered this - hook, line and sinker. Some of you seem intent on putting the boot into our players whenever there’s a sniff of an opportunity to do so. Anyway - I’m looking forward to seeing a fit May back in the team. I think he’ll add a lot. I reckon we should be getting around him, not falling for this sensationalist carp. And, fair dinkum, some of the nanny state attitudes here wouldn’t be out of place in Iran.

It’s a dog act to sensationalise an undercover pic taken by some sniper on a Sunday afternoon in a pub and dress it up as Watergate on national tv.

That this is a ‘breaking story’ is the stuff of Working Dog’s Frontline television series. It seems pretty clear it was not actually ‘a big drinking session’ as claimed by Tom Morris on OTC. I reckon Steven May will turn out to be a bloody good player for us. And this is not a big deal, albeit it is an issue that the club seems not to have not handled particularly well. It all points to a quiet news day in Melbourne on Monday.

I met Tom Morris at the bar at the Light Brigade Hotel in Sydney moments before the commencement of the preliminary final against West Coast last year. I recognised him (I think from On The Couch), but I otherwise had no idea who he was. I was wearing a Demons scarf. He introduced himself - he was very friendly and he said he supported the Dees. I think we both said words to the effect “Go Dees”, literally minutes before being humiliated in a packed bar of 10k West Coast supporters. It was tres ordinaire. I nearly necked myself. Since then, I’ve come to watch Tom Morris on tv. While I don’t know him from a bar of soap, I would say that he’s probably a relatively good natured dude, and that he likes the Dees - but he’s desperate to break stories even if they are kind of weak and not in the interest of the club he purportedly supports. In short, he wants to be relevant. That’s journalism I suppose. Surely this story, while not especially flattering to Steven May, is not particularly newsworthy. I.e. it’s s*#t.

We’re sponsored by Johnnie Walker. Yet he’s very publicly drinking pints of mid strength beer. It’s not a very good look to be honest, and I completely understand why he needs to apologise to the entire playing group. Next time he’ll know to whack down an entire bottle of scotch, rip Tom Morris a new one for publishing undercover pics and generally ratting on him, before being filmed inhaling illicit substances off the bar, and then resisting arrest by a team of cops just outside the pub during which time he does his ACL. In short, do it properly next time Steven. We’re a hard edged club these days. What a completely lame ‘breaking story’.

Bloody hell. That is one of the most tense finishes to a game I’ve seen in a long time. Having now watched the final quarter twice, it is abundantly clear that Frost won us that game. His final touch was Leo Barry-esque circa 2005.

Despite our wholly underwhelming start to the season, I’m really looking forward to this game. It feels like a Saturday afternoon final, which it essentially is for us.

It's somewhat ironic that Dean Kent, a player who we probably should've kept and who was perpetually injured with us, moves to St Kilda at the end of last season and has been flying ever since (including, unfortunately, against us). Hogan too (but for getting boozed before a training session).

It’s been an absolutely bizarre start to the season. Gold Coast, Freo, Saints - it’s been flipped on its head. Like everyone here, I have found our performances this far to be absolutely depressing. And inept. And a bit surprising. I had thought we were going to win the flag this year. Right now, we’re sitting last with a percentage of about 16%. It’s so bad, I don’t even feel aggrieved though - that feeling comes when you feel your club has received the hard end of the stick and deserves much better. For once, that’s not actually been us. We’ve been bloody hopeless. BUT: - there are reasons for our performances to date, some reasonable and some entirely inexcusable - injuries, overall fitness, and players out of form (McDonald, Jetta, Hibberd etc) have cruelled us, but I’m concerned the coaches haven’t exactly been at the forefront of some of the changes, which I think was perfectly illustrated in the St Kilda game. Everyone seems to have got way ahead of themselves and departed from the basics, the essence of which was trying hard and not taking anything for granted - it was been ruthless at the contest; - we have a good list - we really do - it’s a better list than the majority of other clubs right now - but it still has obvious gaps - I also don’t think our team selection has been that inspiring or imaginative prior to the Richmond game; and - we are now a well run club, i.e. we are not the same club that endured 10 years of simply miserable and heart breaking failure which caused many of us to simply give money to it to ensure its survival. We will be a very viable and competitive team next year. And beyond. While I reckon we’re pretty well stuffed on the finals campaign this year, I don’t reckon the season is absolutely over. I’m personally looking for a decent run in the second half of the season as and when we regain key players, and some fitness, and hopefully a more astute coaching group. In short, let’s try to avoid some of the cliched (and perhaps understable) bagging of everyone in the the club at the moment. Everyone’s frustrated. And bloody disappointed. But the future of this club is far better and brighter than it has ever been in the past 2 0or 30 years, which in itself is a great achievement.

No way.

Defence I agree. We seem to have moved a long, long way from the hard edged defensive mindset Roos instilled during his time here. Our backline is all over the shop, and our defensive pressure generally is super poor. Fitness We look terribly slow and unfit. I had thought Misson was an elite fitness guy, but we seem to have heaps of injuries, many of which are not impact injuries - they seem to be soft tissue and running related. Anyone have the inside scoop here? Why are we so off the pace all of a sudden? Skills We simply cannot hit a target anymore. Who’s in charge of skills at the moment? Forward line I should know this but who’s our forward line coach? So many inside 50s, yet (Melksham aside) we never look like scoring. It’s super frustrating to watch.

At this rate we’re bottom 6 by the end of the season. Possibly bottom 4. The defensive structures seem to be all over the shop. We can’t hit a target. We’re actually a very average team.

I’ve seen this script play out here plenty of times before - those who are currently putting the knife into [insert name of required MFC player - in this case, Trac] will immediately do a back flip and will be adoring that player after a few good games strung together. Trac’s a good egg, has great DNA, and without doubt wants to significantly contibute to a successful MFC. And I reckon he will.

That game was hard to watch - a really underwhelming performance. Happy for Watts though - he’s a likeable bloke.

Always liked Dunn. Good on him. He loved the Dees. His only crime is doing his very best since we traded him.

Sure - I have no problem with that. Pretty obvious statement though. But it’s also exactly the reason I’ll spend my compassion chips on feeling for victims of crime, returning ex-serviceman, the weak in society, and people who are unfairly bullied, vilified and harassed by others, not marquee AFL players who break club rules by boozing when they shouldn’t. At a human level, I feel a lot of sympathy for Hogan and his unfortunate circumstances last year (like all others here) - but I don’t feel strong level of compassion for a dude who appears to find it hard to manage the conflict between: - the commitment required to be a professional footballer (with all of the attendant pressures and rewards); and - an apparent desire to not have that pressure, and instead spend his time with his non-footy playing mates drinking beers at music festivals and generally being a regular guy. The narrative here is just not that compelling for me. The world is full of simply heart-breaking tragedies - this is not one of them.

Depression is one thing. Taking responsibility for one’s actions is another. Hogan’s been in the system for a long time now. He’s a marquee player at a new club. He knows the rules. And he’s not the first person to encounter some personal hardship whilst also trying to hold down a job. I know several people who have lost parents, have gone through bruising divorces, who are struggling financially and emotionally to bring up young kids solo, and have inflexible and intolerant employers as to their personal situations. I expect they’d love to have the luxury of the time, emotional support and financial security than the AFL system would afford them, even if only for a limited period of time - on terms that you just can’t drink heaps of beer on a Monday night, and that you otherwise have to display a good attitude to, and respect for, your club and your teammates. Unlike most employers, however, AFL clubs seem extraordinarily tolerant and forgiving. Despite his obvious talent, I never found Hogan to be a particularly endearing character. I’m just relieved we managed to secure Steven May in exchange for him, as I expect is the club.

I actually don’t care. As long as they’re not harming anyone, who cares - we’ve turned everything into a tedious nanny state, and they’re probably the fittest dudes on the planet. Good luck to them - I enjoy watching them play footy. I expect many here like horse racing. I’m not into it, but that’s simply because I find it boring. I expect many here find it amazing. Cop a tip, it’s absolutely corrupt. And I know this from the inside of the marquee. It’s all seriously manipulated. The best trainers, the leading horses - they’re all on the gear. They go to the States twice a year to see where it’s all at. They’re in front of the testing, but rest assured - in a game of 1%s, you’re not mucking around with organic wheat grass and then ignoring the juice. If you do, you lose races. It’s a simple equation. IMO this is far worse than young successful sporty kids seeking to have fun.

I can’t remember when we last won at the SCG. I’m thinking it could be as far back as the 90s. Anyone know? It’s been a hell hole for us for quite a while now. In particular, I recall flying back from Hong Kong especially to watch a game at the SCG in about 2010, to sit with all of my Swans supporting mates and watch us get belted by around 100 points. Round 5, 2003, was also memorable. We were up by about 50 points at three quarter time, and my mate was started singing out ‘percentage’ every time Neita kicked a goal, which was super obnoxious behaviour given we were sitting in the Swans’ members section. We eventually lost that game by about 2 goals. Another sweet experience at the ground for me. A few years ago, when it was literally pouring, we kicked about 5 goals all day. Only highlights were Christian Petracca and the final siren. I’m feeling positive year though. Time to break this hoodoo.

I’m currently sitting in an over water villa in the Maldives on my honeymoon drinking Tigers. Life is good. My wife has expressly banned me from: 1. reading work emails; 2. drinking to many Tiger beers; and 3. reading Demonland. BUT - I just saw the Melksham contract extension news on Instagram and simply had to get on Demonland. And drink more Tigers. I love this bloke. I have made plenty of completely stupid predictions over the years, but not in relation to this guy - I knew he was going to be a great pick up. He was our Bernie trade of that year, much like his best mate Hibberd was a year later. I’m absolutely stoked that he’s going to be roaming around our forward 50 for many years to come. This club is just unreal these days!

I’m not missing Jesse. Not even remotely.

Even though it was filmed at Oktoberfest, and the substance is apparently legal, it didn’t look like his first rodeo. Not a good look. Not remotely. Whovever filmed the footage and then uploaded it, should be exited from Watts’ inner sanctum. Cannot be a close mate. And that Watts is described as an ‘ex-Melbourne football player’ in some media reports, ironically serves to demonstrate the professionalism of the club these days. We would’ve been putting a 5 year extension under his nose for that a decade ago ...

Quality post. I’m pleased that certain posters here are not Magistrates. It’d make justice in Dodge City in the 1870s look positively enlightened.