Demonstone

Surprised that nobody has thought to post this before.

#Missonmyths

His father Peter played eight games for us in the early 80s so that would make sense.

I don’t know how this happened, but for some reason my phone number is in Jamie Elliot's phone as “Diary”. I was only able to work this out after I started getting all these texts from him that started “dear diary”. This is probably the best thread to share some of them in so here goes… dear diary, I had this idea today to finally see what happens inside a dishwasher when it’s on. Bucks said he didn’t have any scuba gear I could borrow though and reckons no one else at the club would either. dear diary, Steele Sidebottom called me a short [censored] at training yesterday so today I went to Luna Park to check if I was tall enough to go on all the rides and it turns out I am so he’s wrong. I didn’t actually go on any of the rides because I had too much coke zero. dear diary, got a massive fright earlier today. I went to grab my phone but accidentally grabbed my ipad and for a moment I thought I had shrunk. dear diary, was late to training today because I poured a can of Red Bull in my garden and then got about halfway through drinking 20 litres of water out of the watering can before I realised what I’d done. dear diary, today I went to Ikea with Darcy Moore to get some stuff for his new place. At the checkout the lady said are you gonna pay for the plunger too? What plunger I said? Turns out one had fallen off a shelf and stuck to my head about 20 minutes earlier and Darcy said he didn’t know how to bring it up so didn’t say anything. dear diary, me and some of the boys went paintballing. I wasn’t very good, I kept getting shot in the face mask in like the first minute of each round. During the lunch break the guy working there showed me how to hold the gun around the right way and I played much better after that. dear diary, some of the AFLW players were doing handstands and so I gave it a shot, but it turns out you need to put your arms on the ground yourself first, it doesn’t just happen automatically. Seeing the dentist tomorrow. dear diary, I went to the ice rink today with Jaidyn Stephenson and Brodie Grundy and whizzed around a few laps but didn’t like it much because my feet got really cold and wet. Jaidyn reckons I’d enjoy it more if I wore skates out there but I’m not so sure. dear diary, took the cheese greater I bought at Ikea the other week back because it didn’t make the cheese greater at all it just cut it up into really small bits. dear diary, I went to get some Maccas today to get a Big Mac but remember someone at the club said I shouldn’t eat red meat, dairy or carbs. After I told the Maccas person this they just gave me a handful of lettuce. dear diary, I watched Toy Story 3 tonight. About halfway through one of my teddy bears fell off the shelf on to my face. The fire brigade guys that helped me down reckon my ceiling will need to be replaced. dear diary, I went for a run today but it was pretty boring, so I decided to chuck a stick as far as I could, then run after it and do it again. Set a PB for 5k. No wonder dogs fkng love doing that. dear diary, I don’t think Taylor Adams likes me. We were over in Adelaide playing Port Adelaide and I got a postcard from Taylor that said “miss you and wish you were here” and the picture on the back was of him taking a dump on my bed at home dear diary, at the airport the airplane lady asked if I wanted a seat with extra leg room and I said no thanks. I don’t know why she asked me that because I only have two legs.

That won't get them far ET! Might make them dizzy, though. Cunning plan?

Come on mate, you go out of your way to find things to whinge about and criticise the club continually. I doubt there is a single Demon fan who is happy with what has transpired this season, but bleating on an internet forum doesn't help anybody. Unless it makes you feel better? Or maybe you're just a troll? *responding to Sorry poster, not DemonOx!

Yes, I do. And I also think that you're jumping at shadows and getting angry about trivial things.

Nup, I don't think the players would take the slightest notice of what Goody says in his presser or count how many times he scratches his leg.

Finished, gorn, cooked, had it and injury prone. Pass.

An old but true saying is that it's better to retire a year too early rather than a year too late.

Same principle, Lord Nev. People, including some of our so-called supporters, like to perpetuate the myth that the club only recruits "nice" private schoolboy types. Again, others come to accept this as the truth.

That Dustin Martin story is a classic example of a myth that's been repeated so often that some people are now happy to consider it as fact. The club (like everybody else) identified Scully and Trengove as the two standouts at the time and drafted them.

There's only one Clayton Oliver.

Will Dudley Do-Right?

Oh dear. I still have nightmares about KT taking strong pack marks 25m out from goal ... and failing to make the distance.

Clutching at too many beers, not straws.

You may have your Himmelbergs mixed up I think.

Sounds like you'll also be going through the motions, ding.

What does it matter if he's a man of few words?

Might be time to stop licking those cane toads mate.

186? Pffft, that's nothing. I was there for 190 in 1979 vs Fitzroy at Waverley.

There's no "e" in slops, mate.

My own personal useless stat: Since choosing to follow Melbourne in 1965, I have experienced 471 wins 5 draws 743 losses This includes 31 finals in that period of which we won 18 and lost 13.

Not so sure about Oscar at number five.

I thoroughly enjoyed last night. Started with a nice dinner, followed up with a long soak in the bath and went to bed with a really good book. Did I miss anything?