Skuit

Cheers for being a good sport GWD. I also now note that @ChaserJ, with an abnormal history of junior track-watching (not abnormal in the Cam Pedo sense but more so in a time commitment unless being compensated sense) has his own inkling or inside juice - the first to raise the interstate Vic query or question of confirmation. While I'll spare Chaser my finely attuned Detective Columbo skills, I'm curious if this slated trade (of nameless player) is something you feel is already leaking beyond close inner-circles?

I have no idea of the absolute figures titan, but if we're getting scored on at above 47% per inside-50 in 2018, and have conceded ten less goals this year, then it's safe to presume so. We're also second-last (or second-best) for inside-50s against to this stage of the season, whereas for 2017 we finished in 8th for the least i50s conceded. Just a reminder that while our back six looks horrible when it's scored on, we've moved almost the entire defensive battle up the ground.

I’ve applied some linguistic forensic analysis and profile profiling and computer says: 1) deliberately left blank 2) deliberately left blank 3) deliberately left blank Firstly, after a stalker-level detailed assessment of goodwindees' (herein GWD) posting history, we can conclude the following facts (taken at face-value but determined by my psychoanalytical expertise to be reliable): GWD has (potential player) contacts at Sydney, and recruiting contacts with at least Hawthorn and Geelong. Evidential posts: Have a very good source at the Swans (and Rohan, Tippett & Reid are out the door after a disagreement with Kennedy which came to a head vs. the Hawks) Playing group has lost trust in Rohan Interesting that Buckenara doesn't have Oliver in top 18 and my recruiting mates at both Geelong & Hawthorn tell me that both Clubs rate Oliver in the 15 to 20 range. Hawks rate Gresham higher than Oliver and Cats rate Curnow as 3rd best player in the Draft. Hawks are making a big play for Whitfield and are waiting for Board approval (will trade Rioli and Duryea) I was told by a very recently retired Premiership player (in 2016) today that Sam [Mitchell] is not only very close to Simpson but also to Hale who is at Freo . . . Bottom line is that Clarko was very dictatorial and basically told Sam (to go). - potential sources off top of head (if from Hawthorn): Brian Lake, David Hale himself, or, interclub journeyman and premiership talisman, Matthew Spangher. GWD also has possible contacts at several other interstate clubs (the origin of said Melbourne-bound midfielder), including all of Adelaide, Port, GWS, Brisbane and Gold Coast Although it’s difficult to determine the leaky party of a two-way trade-discussion, or if it’s just a matter of recruiter grapevine, potential evidential posts: (Adelaide, Port, GWS - albeit a fairly good bet at the time): Lever to Dees, Trengove to Dogs, Kelly to re-sign, these are certain (GC): Two pieces of info I found out yesterday is that Dees have a 5 year offer on the Table for Prestia. I wasn't told how much, just how long. (Brisbane): There is only one club that has made an enquiry [about Dawes] and that is the Lions but they were told, thanks but no thanks GWD was also involved with Sandringham for a period including at least 2004, and had earlier played for/coached De La Salle in the VAFA, which opens him up to any number of potential inside footballing contacts that this detailed forensic investigation can’t be bothered googling. However, evidential posts include: I remember speaking to Scott [Thompson] at the time of him leaving us as I was involved at Sandy Toby's [Greene’s] dad Mick and uncle Paul were terrific A Grade ammos with De La Salle late 70's and thru the 80's We won several Premierships on the back of Mick's rucking & marking . . . Age profile based on all player/team/coach references places GWD as born before 1962 but after 1956 (margin of error – approx. five or six years). As for football personality profile (Types 3 and 5 on the standardised ProDee Index), the most pertinent point here is that GWD has made it very, very clear that he’s keen on outside pace and class throughout his (relatively astute) posting history on Demonland, with little tolerance for plodders. While it may be argued that the desire for pace and class is universal, GWD has backed in Stretch on a number of occasions – indicating a prioritisation of these traits over others. With this preliminary personal and historic baseline established, we can much better assess the more recent textual indicators as to GWD’s contention that the MFC currently has an in-principal agreement with an opposition player to join the club for the 2019 AFL season. The following is a breakdown of the statements made by GWD in the ‘Outside Mids’ thread currently active on Demonland, with the ‘on-the-balance’ conclusions of this analysis provided in parenthesis or by way of sub-commentary. The basics: Victorian midfielder, currently at an interstate club. Since the AFL’s expansion to Greater Western Sydney (with a 2012 debut), the league currently features eight ‘interstate’ clubs – the description for those teams which are based outside of Victoria by people in Victoria. The interstate nexus comprises of, alphabetically, Adelaide, Brisbane, Fremantle, Gold Coast, GWS, Port Adelaide, Sydney, and West Coast – with the underlined the most prominent of those that GWD has stated a connection to. As to the more subjective sign-posts, the midfielder in question was/is: At his best circa 2014 (not entirely reliable as a single year but thereabouts) Having been a very good player (not a ‘superstar-star’ or anything overly hyperbolic) As exactly what we need at his best (suggesting, according to profile, outside run with class) Note: the Victorian mids with interstate clubs (although the player in question may not have necessarily been with an interstate club at the time) who finished in the top 40 of the 2014, 2015 and 2016 Brownlow Medal counts but have since at least marginally declined include: . . . Other indicators and clues: Four-year contract offered: (for a 2014-peaking player: suggestive of an age of 26-plus) On pretty big coin (still a pretty big deal on the open market but not outrageous money) Pick around the 15 mark (for a club which needs it due to a couple of trades that they are aggressively pursuing . . . Let’s say Gold Coast lose both Lynch & May . . . inside mail on where this pair might be going?) Last tid-bits: His club are aware and are comfortable with him moving (not currently key to the future of a particular midfield – either by way of present window or future development prospects – also, a reasonably mentally stable club) It’s not Rory Sloane (it's not Rory Sloane). GWD is also a big fan of Kelly and Bontimpelli so it’s not them either. And not Gaff, with GWD describing Gaff in the context of the ‘Outside Mids’ thread as a ‘critical need’. Conclusion: there may be a minor conflict in what GWD describes as ‘exactly what we need’ according to 2014 form and his underwhelmed reaction concerning the potential recruit based on personal preferences, such that the proposed decline in form may be balanced by the mystery player not having been especially outside or 'classy' to begin with. With all the on the table and subjective evidence at hand, this analysis has narrowed down the list of likely recruit candidates to one or two names in the league – maybe three or four tops. However, the investigation also doesn’t want to completely burn GWD on his source, so will quit right here.

Is it Jordan Lewis?

I've narrowed down the list of suspects. 6 Jordan Lewis 1 Jesse Hogan 11 Max Gawn 9 Charlie Spargo (wouldn’t be able to convince the cashier he’s over 18) 4 James Harmes (couldn’t find the guy standing all alone behind the counter) 12 Dom Tyson (he’d get caught too easily) 14 Michael Hibberd (moustache is a smoking hazard) 15 Billy Stretch (a bit of a stretch, I think) 10 Angus Brayshaw (you’re not allowed to enter 7/11 with a helmet) 18 Jake Melksham (prefers the harder stuff direct to the bloodstream) 23 Bernie Vince (would have been more interested in DeeZee’s daughter) 28 Oscar McDonald (Tomald says he’s not allowed to smoke) 2 Nathan Jones (c) (has the big c next to his name; is always jonesing) 3 Christian Salem (hypothyroidism linked to smoking in numerous studies) 5 Christian Petracca (ducking out behind the sheds explains frequent absence) 7 Jack Viney (c) (Jack Viney’s so tough he eats cigarettes for breakfast) 8 Jake Lever (the only player in the team who can afford a pack nowadays) 13 Clayton Oliver (pale, recent weight loss – clearly has cancer) 16 Dean Kent (released his own popular line of filtered originals) 21 Pedo (‘Hey, kid, you wanna cigarette? Jump in the back of the van') 25 Tom McDonald (out of breath from a punctured lung, huh? Right) 29 Jayden Hunt (there’s only one thing better than a chocolate milk . . .)

Here's a stat. 2018: Round 15 - points against 1173 2017: Round 15 - points against 1236 2016: Round 15 - points against 1328

Fifty seconds of selective footage with the title 'Melbourne's horror workrate exposed!!!" Goodwin needs to be sacked. But not before a Today Tonight expose can bring to light the true evil of the MFC.

Just click I saw some new roof panels to accommodate your OCD stevethenocommasmanjordan.

My workmates are all Dutch and I don't think can be blamed for any Demon debacles. More broadly, Arron vandenburg has been a bit of an issue, but I'm fairly certain he's Belgian.

You're Glenn Giles?

I reckon that we should get Gaff.

I have such an absolute unhealthy disdain for Caro that I'd be banned for life if I shared my true feelings on Demonland. But while she could have perhaps touched a little bit more on the rationale for Pert's recruitment, I don't have a problem with this article at all. In fact, it shed some light on a few things that were giving off an uncomfortable vibe (the silence from AFL HQ etc.) and I actually feel better and more confident about the appointment for having read it. Two in a row, including the camp article.

I'm actually a fan and believe he still has plenty of development left in him. Maybe Masterchef can also give us some tips on how best to prepare a headless chook.

Do you think they'll release the spycam footage when Frost is told he's off to the Gold Coast? Hopefully we learnt a few tricks from Masterchef so as to capture the full emotional weight of his personal devastation.

Imagine he cemented a spot and went on to win a flag with Port this year. One of the most unlikely footy careers. Good luck Jack. Apologies for keeping that flag from you.

How lovely it would be to a MFC KPD before your first game. Universal admiration on fan forums and yet to be subjected to top-flight teams penetrating your diamond. One slip up in one of the most difficult defensive set-ups in the league and he'll be off to the delist thread no doubt.

An MFC-themed playground with a never-ending merry-go-round and a ten-foot deep ball-crawl. We could even pitch in for the Demonland/Bi-polar Association co-sponsored see-saw.

Rusty, are these your stats? I recall someone had their own system but not sure who. There will always be statistical biases in any system when comparing players across positions (and not accounting for intangibles) but in general these tables are a reasonable reflection of what many here I think would consider the form-lines of most of our players.

It looks like we may have to cut out a small chunk of the scoreboard and a fair section of the stadium roof. MCC not gonna like that. Not to mention all those cars we'll flatten. Maybe we can sort a compensation package through Zurich?

I'd thinking it would be better for the club to train in a secret bunker the way some of our supporters carry on.

For someone who hasn't lived in Melbourne or spent much time around the MCG/Yarra precinct - what is public access to Punt Road Oval like? Is it completely fenced off? If so, where do kids go to kick a footy between some sticks around that area of the city? Also, can someone explain what four consecutive commas signify in terms of punctuation? It wasn't covered during my writing degree for some reason. Cheers.

Do you know if the goal to goal axis Dee Spencer has proposed is correct hells bells?

The year before John Connor travelled back in time to help ensure the creation of Skynet?

If true, I have even more faith in our administration (for you know, agreeing with my thoughts precisely). I ordinarily hate regional games - Alice is an exception, and something we can build into an annual showcase with a fair number of peripheral benefits.

Maybe we left it a bit late if we were only circling at around 4pm today after he had re-signed with Port? However, SWYL seems to think we can bend the time-space continuum by passing on Wines in the draft when his first league game was a BOG.