kev martin

We cannot be defensive about this. The "they made me do it", is the wrong angle. Have dysfunction in your relationships, get help. Heal the situation while you still can, before it may spiral, do it for you and most importantly the damaging effect and distress on the kids. Being a better partner, by using various forms of strategies, and counselling can only assist us in being better people to be around. Life lessons that are useful throughout the journey, you may find greater peace, love, and freedom from conflict by addressing the dysfunction. Your intimates pay the price if we don't get the help, men or women within the storm. The Gendered approach is in response to the current social issues movement being addressed in the media by a ground swell of many saying, the violence has to stop, and how can we help.

@binman, don't be out. The whole point of the feminine asking for the masculine to come forward is that we stay 'in' and not put the issue of domestic violence, in the ignore, too hard basket, too sensitive an issue, unskilled for the discussion, or embarrassed. We are needed. Being one of the people who do or haved worked in the area, your reflections are definitely needed and wanted. I understand your hesitation in that we may harm others with our thoughts about the issue. The whole intention is to bring domestic violence out of the shadows, and that will obviously bring past and present pain. Men are reluctant to talk about it. Keep giving Bin and others. I for one am willing to put my thoughts out there, and will be sincerely reflective on the feedback I get.

There is a huge place for our institutions to help those having dysfunction in the relationship. Family therapy, etcetera, however the consequences of the assaulted person is devastating. I think the term male or female can be interchangeable in the discussion. Though most victims still are women. Leaving the family home with the kids, being financially independent, feeling safe in public because of the distrust, just feeling safe. I am not trying to dismiss the reality of psychology abuse towards the men. A sign of dysfunction, ask for help. Head in the right direction and life for each can improve. The kids would love the abuse to stop. Reach out make positive steps in the right direction. I know it takes two, and finding time and volition for both is not easy. As a supporter I say, get help, dynamics can snowball in the wrong direction and unhappiness permeate.

I probably won't, my preference is to stay with the victims in a heartfelt empathetic approach. I reckon solutions are to be left to the institutions, and as more men reach out (hoping), and there is less acting out, then they will make the family dynamics much better, whether in separation, or together.

That is therapy talk. Placate the client, break them down and build them up with appropriate behaviour. The victim, the victim, under a table in the foetal position, with the kids wanting daily activities. They could be the focus in the discussion. Leave the individual changes to professionals. Takes more than a phone counselling session, and education. Perpetrators please reach out for help. Victims, oh I wish I could help take "that" that I will never comprehend, away from you. You have many allies in most of us men.

The perpetrators are still in the minority, and as Binman said, need education. Though many would say, we need the courts and their administrators of AVO's, warrants and paroles to also be much more effective then what is practiced. The rest of us have to take a stand. Enough is enough, has rung out for years. I see similar to the "are you ok" campaign. Ask each other do you need help controlling the emotions, are you cohesive, are you yelling, are you hitting. Look your friend in the eye and get help or talk, bring the issue out from closed doors. Binman says we may not be qualified, could be doing more harm. I'd say cannot get much worse, growing numbers of victims, the knock on effect to society as a collective. Make a difference

Thanks Bin for your start, and the work you do or have done in this difficult and at times disgraceful stuff. If only I had what I posted before as a template. I hope good intentions are at the forefront of any discussion involving domestic violence. Many Women have asked men to 'step up', this is a male issue at heart, and we can and have to get engaged with the issue. Though for me personally it was/is a child issue. I grew up in an argumentative household. Please, anyone suffering the infliction of dealing in intimate relationships with cohersion and violence in its many forms, reach out for help. Now is the time. I'd like to say, the censorship in the training thread may have been because one person wanted to discuss the definition of "toxic masculinity", got a bit off kilter and because of the sensitivities that Binman talked about, down came the gavel.

The post below I have posted in a thread specific to the issue, thanks @binman who started it off (hope you don't mind). I have also been encouraged to post in the main threads and not hide this issue away in the back threads. "I think what Andy has noted above is really important, with the second para of critical importance and raises an issue that i was just thinking of highlighting - the safety of victim survivors, women and children who read DL. As long time posters could attest, for many years i derailed many football related threads with discussions about non football related societal issues (and yes i know everything is related) that i am passionate about - family violence included. For a range of reasons i try not to do so now. One reason is this is a footy forum. For example this thread is nominally about training and how fair is it for people who want to discuss training to wade through unrelated posts? And how fair for say a victim survivor to want to read training reports and instead get caught up in an unmoderated debate about men's use of violence? Which of course is not to say it is not an important discussion, or that i am saying there should not be the opportunity to discuss challenging issues on DL. But there is a place Andy and the people who designed this brilliant site specifically for non football related discussions: https://demonland.com/forums/forum/10-general-discussion/ On the topic of family violence, i wholeheartedly agree there needs to be discussion in society, particularly amongst men. But i don't believe a football focused thread is the appropriate space for such discussions (and even in the general forum i would have my concerns because of the risks of misinformation and traumatizing victim survivors if not expertly moderated - which is an incredibly difficult thing to do if the topic is family violence). I feel very strongly about this issue. I have a qualification in men's use of family violence, a prerequisite to become telephone counselor with the Men's Referral Service (MRS), which i did weekly for many years. MRS is a service for men who want to take responsibility for their choice to use violence. And in addition to working with victim survivors (which by the by will 100% include men on this site who experienced FV as children) and perpetrators across multiple community service sectors, I have done work in the men's behaviour change space. That work includes projects looking at the the law's response to perpetrators, including an analysis of the research into the efficacy of prevention strategies that focus on men's use of violence. I say all of that to establish I have a level of expertise and knowledge in the family violence space, and specifically men's use of violence. Thankfully i am not a moderator, but as someone with a level of expertise about family violence i was disturbed by many of the posts. And not just those that expressed views i vehemently disagreed with. Also some posts that whilst well meaning, if I am being completely honest, leant into the sort of dangerous myths, and even flat out misinformation, that are a huge part of the problem. And even with a level of expertise, and a significant amount of relevant training, experience and education about family violence, i don't know that I would have the specialist skills to moderate an online discussion between anonymous posters. And i would actively discourage any attempts to do so by anyone that does not have those high level skills. Almost impossible to keep such a space safe - even for specialist family violence organisations. It makes me fell ill that any woman reading this thread felt the need to reach out to Andy express discomfort and was made to feel unsafe. I can understand why. If anyone doubts the wisdom shutting down the conversation on this thread because they believe it is important to talk about family violence please consider the risks to the safety victim survivors, women and children who are part of our shared community here on DL. I 1000% support the decision to not have a discussion about family violence on a football thread. I think discussion is important. But i believe that the most important discussions are those by men with their family, particularly their sons, and friends, particularly their male friends. Unlike here, those conversations are not anonymous and are with people you love and trust. But I believe even more important than discussion is education. Well education first then discussion. Critical is understanding what family violence is, how many different types of family violence there are (eg financial control, psychological, electronic surveillance, control, emotional abuse, use of technology etc) and what drives it. A great place to start is arguably the most significant government led action in this space by any government, ever, Victoria's Royal Commission into Family Violence. For more general information Victoria's peak body for family and gender-based violence Safe Steps is a great. For information about men's use of violence, Victoria's peak for ending male violence, No to Violence is a terrific resource. And if you are man who is concerned about your use of violence, the Men's Referral Service is the national counselling, information and referral service for men who use violence and abuse who want to change their behaviour. It is a confidential, anonymous service available 24/7 that you can call on 1300 766 491.

Hopefully my last post for a while. It is difficult for me not to introduce social issues into discussions about footy. I'd to thank those supporting me and encouraging me to continue. Demonland contacted me and expressed that it wasn't the people I thought who got me censored. I apologise to any aspersions I alluded to concerning those who had contrary thoughts about what is posted. I also apologise to Demonland full heartedly, they expressed that the subject matter is susceptible to get out of hand, at that is why subjects such a those brought up get deleted. They don't pander to any of those groups I suggested they pander too. Thank you Demonland keep the good work going.

I'd like to say I enjoyed writing my observations of training for you. Thank you for your support However this site has decided to fall on the side of the apathetic and/or misogynist. My post about domestic conditions were deleted, without any explanation. Somethings are bigger than footy. Establishing a society with equal access to all, without oppression, ridicule and violence is important to me. I will not post again.

They don't seem to be encouraging spectators at their Casey sessions, which is the main and usually the one where team selection is made. Gosh's Paddock is usually used for the review/recovery session and the Captain's run.

A new training schedule has been posted. https://www.melbournefc.com.au/teams/training-times Gosch's Paddock Monday, April 29 11:45am - 1:00pm Friday, May 3 9:45am - 10:30am Wednesday, May 8 9:45am-10:30am Monday, May 13 11:45am-1:00pm Tuesday, May 21 11:45am-1:00pm Saturday, May 25 9:45am - 10:30am Tuesday, May 28 11:45am - 1:00pm

That kind of story just astounds and disappoints me. It was a night of unification, with remembrance of those who had given their lives and sacrificed much. How can others be so ignorant of the occasion, creating division and role modelling toxic masculinity. What an unhappy person.

About 38 to 40 players down at training. BBB walking laps. Spargo still in rehab, doing short run throughs. Salem has full kit on and doing individual work with a trainer. He is is starting to get into some sprints. I cannot see Moniz-Wakefield out there. Viney and Chandler have broken away from the drills that have some contact and are doing run throughs. Melky, Bowser, McAdam, Hunter, doing main training without any indication that they are aren't fully participating. Three stations, all in a competitive handball game. Now four stations with a competitive kicking game. Some 3 on 3 , others 4 on 4. Goody has joined one of the stations with a bib. Calls for move the ball quick ring out. Bibs play defensive. The whistle goes and they all head off for some goal kicking. A short look at it, as they gather centrally and set for a full oval drill. Viney has rejoined the main group, but Chandler has returned to the sheds, The energy is great, many having a good time, calls are loud and plenty of support for their teamates. Two stations and doing stoppage simulations. McAdam playing out of the stoppage area, like a high half-forward would. Occasionally looking disinterested, though that may be his demeanour. I think he his a shy kinda fella. Chaplin was doing most of the talking when they gathered. They finished the session with some sprints along the boundary, and some runs down the middle, then off to individual stuff, goal kicking and low ball gets. Choco working with Petty on his goal kicking. Before the runs, McAdam was getting some work on his left hip. Completely the sprints, but not the runs down the middle. A trainer has continued to work on that hip now for the past 5 minutes.

I am a Petty fan. Before his injury he was doing well. However it took a few games before that to get going/confidence. Once he has that first good game he will improve his consistency and output. He has a beautiful kick for goal, good hands and brings some mongrel. Watch out kitty's. They are not dropping him, nor moving him to the backline. Goody shows that he has lots of patience with his big forwards, example Weeds and even JVR. We are building our season, and will peak at the right time.

From Clayton to Hoopers Crossing. Difficult to be an altruist in the cut-throat, ultra ambitious world where he participates. Many go after him, and he usually laughs. Rarely gets the compassion of umps, just goes deeper into packs as a response. One tough, sensitive dude. Well done Ollie.

I've got no trouble with how we played. First quarter we fought it out in their half-forward, next quarter it was fought out in our forward-half. Tigers came at us with a pressure game. If anything we had problems finding open spaces. Then they couldn't go with us in the second half, scoreboard pressure was building and players like Bolton had to try and do it by himself. Reminded me of Hungry (Bartlett). Richmond fans are fickle lot, fairweathers. Feel sorry for Ooze if he doesn't start getting some wins. Turner will start getting some attention, a good mover and finisher. Backline is very mature, handled the entries well and continued to rebound it. The capacity to not give Tigers shots from easy places. Our youngsters are doing well. Billings is improving. Kossie getting more centre stoppage time. Plenty of building as the season continues. Our balance of big and small players is about right, the coaches did some adjustments after the first half and quietened some of their ball movers. Had the game on our terms after the third, by stringing some goals together.

It is streamed on the "AFL live" app, as is most VFL, VFLW and other interstate tier 2 games. A replay is also available the next day, usually.

Drizzle has stopped and I can see some blue sky on the horizon.

Just started raining here in Sth Yarra, turning to drizzle. Forecast still indicates minimal rain from now on.

In the earlier games I saw of the Tigers, Grimes looked off.

Tholstrup was training with the MFC Casey team, after the MFC squad left the paddock.

Tholstrup is very professional at the training sessions. Reminds me of Viney, he has extreme drive and standards for himself. He will turn every stone to make sure he becomes a staple in the 22.

Looks like Woewodin will fill those big boots. He stayed with the backs, from the time he left AAMI, till the return. They have a great backline system and being new to the big men's club, he will need sometime to know the role. I think he will be the one most likely to play like Hibbo. He is bulking up well and developing a physical presence.

Additional: It looked like they were structuring for and executing fast ball movement through the corridors direcrly off half-back, and/or from lateral spread/switches. Moniz-Wakefield was at training but not participating, had a different coloured top on as compared to the rest of the MFC Casey players.