Mel Bourne

Might be wrong, but I thought it was the first time we were zero points at quarter time since ‘08. So, not goalless but pointless. Utterly pointless.

I’m really proud of the effort tonight and back this team all the friggin’ way, but I just can’t perform the mental gymnastics required to view that first quarter as anything but a textbook shellacking.

I didn’t see an “arm-wrestle” first quarter at all. I saw us getting completely owned by a side who chose to turn up to the game on time.

I smell learnings.

Yeah. 61, heart attack. A real shock. I met him a few years back and he was everything you hoped for. Our band was supposed to be recording an album in Chicago with him next year, but alas…

The death of musician/recording legend Steve Albini is all the loss I can take for one day. Therefore the Demons must win by 33 (& 1/3) points.

Love the idea of it, but it’s not exactly tracking in that direction.

A loss in a close game wouldn’t bother me too much. Cats are humming, but we still need a few things to click into place. And if I’m being realistic, I’m not expecting those clicks to all happen this evening.

Thought I was having a stroke reading this.

Or if you want to take the commentary team seriously, “the greatest moment in the MCG’s history”.

C’mon, let me have my moment. 😉

Not sure the AFL will enact the “good bloke” policy in this case. They certainly did with Pendlebury. The commentators well and truly made you understand that, too.

Punch to the guts, off the ball.

Yep. Club has been pretty clear that he’s got one more week at Casey.

In my increasingly-distant youth, I played tennis at a competitive level. I’m not saying I was hot property, but I could beat my Mum right? No. She had this way of getting the game on her own terms. My aggressive forehands would be met by loping, loving, lollipop returns with the consistency of a factory worker at Apple. Conditioned to the cut-throat playing style of a bunch of 14 year-olds trying to make the MacDonald’s squad, I was at sea against this unorthodox display of brilliance-disguised-as-ineptitude from my Mum, and I would slam every white-hot double-handed backhand into the net until I handed over victory, and succumbed to a condescending post-match sandwich. It’s possible I’m drawing some kind of analogy about how certain teams can drag you down to their level, which I’m hoping was the case tonight. But it’s also possible I was just a [censored] tennis player who couldn’t beat his Mum.

I gotta admit, I was spurring them on to kick that extra point!

the top end Disco is a much-needed shot in the arm. Lever & May, our “bickering couple”*, were immense. Howes, like McVee last year, is coming along really well. Max just generally plays a great game of footy. I don’t know how much he has left in him, but I miss him already. The midrange - Langdon, Pickett, Chandler, JVR, Frisch, Trac, Billings, Windsor, Woewodin and McVee all showed us the full spectrum of their potential. More lighter colours though, please. the low end - One of the poorest games I’ve seen from Sparrow. I back him, but he better be down on himself after that one. - Can’t believe I’m saying this, but joining Tom down here is ANB, Viney and Oliver. But I know these guys will hate being down here, so I expect to see some frenetic redemption. Oliver clearly has the bigger hurdles though. I swear to god he’s carrying his hand in a strange manner. - Rivers**, Petty & JVR, both MIA. And a shout-out to Laurie, for bagging a couple of cheeky ones. Hard to gauge his overall form after such a short (but effective) stint. I could be wrong about all of this because tonight’s been a bit of a tribute to Laphroig whiskey. *the only bit of commentary I’ve chuckled at amongst a sea of brain-dead “quips”. The commentary was utterly disgraceful at the beginning of the 3rd quarter. BT and Bradshaw just waffling on one of their tangents-from-Aldi, and completely ignoring the play. They should be pulled up by the network for such slack amateurism. **way too harsh on Riv.

Don’t ask me about next week. No [censored] idea.

All going to plan, folks.

Ha! If the Gameday thread came with audio, it would not necessarily be the sound of silence.

My prediction is the Tigers will throw everything they can muster at us early. Possibly even heading into half-time in front. Then this particular thread will become a place of darkness. Season over. Certain players will be told to never play for us again. Then the more well-rounded team (ours) will systematically carve it’s way to a 42-point win. Hooray!

It’s clearly been decided that match-time is a key ingredient for getting him back to his best. So many of our players (and across the league) were obviously struggling after an intense period of the fixture, so early in the season. Clarry more so than the average player, for reasons known. Assuming his hand is right enough, I think he’ll be better-off for those matches and a decent recovery period.

Rachele is not gonna sleep well tonight.

I’m not a big “conspiracy” guy, but it is so insanely obvious that goal umpires have been told to review as many scores as possible, because Crypto Bet have told the AFL they’ll give them money every time it happens.

BT quote of the round/season so far…. ”Taylor Walker. So intelligent.”