Here are some lyrics to get everyone in tune for this afternoon's game.

Comedy Tonight - From A Funny Thing Happened on The Way to the Forum

[PSEUDOLUS]

Something familiar,

Something peculiar,

Something for everyone:

A comedy tonight!

Something appealing,

Something appalling,

Something for everyone:

A comedy tonight!

Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns;

Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns!

Old situations,

New complications,

Nothing portentous or polite;

Tragedy tomorrow,

Comedy tonight!

Something convulsive,

Something repulsive,

Something for everyone:

A comedy tonight!

Something aesthetic,

Something frenetic,

Something for everyone:

A comedy tonight!

Nothing with gods, nothing with fate;

Weighty affairs will just have to wait!

Nothing that's formal,

Nothing that's normal,

No recitations to recite;

Open up the curtain:

Comedy Tonight!

Something erratic,

Something dramatic,

Something for everyone:

A comedy tonight!

Frenzy and frolic,

Strictly symbolic,

Something for everyone:

A comedy tonight!

[ENTIRE COMPANY]

Something familiar,

Something peculiar,

Something for everybody:

Comedy tonight!

Something that's gaudy,

Something that's bawdy--

[PSEUDOLUS]

Something for everybawdy!

[ENTIRE COMPANY]

Comedy tonight!

[MILES GLORIOSUS]

Nothing that's grim.

[DOMINA]

Nothing that's Greek.

[PSEUDOLUS]

[indicating DOMINA:]

She plays Medea later this week.

[WOMEN]

Stunning surprises!

[MEN]

Cunning disguises!

[ALL]

Hundreds of actors out of sight!

[ERRONIUS]

Pantaloons and tunics!

[sENEX]

Courtesans and eunuchs!

[HERO]

Funerals and chases!

[LYCUS]

Baritones and basses!

[PHILIA]

Panderers!

[HERO]

Philanderers!

[HYSTERIUM]

Cupidity!

[MILES]

Timidity!

[LYCUS]

Mistakes!

[ERRONIUS]

Fakes!

[DOMINA]

Rhymes!

[PHILIA]

Crimes!

[PSEUDOLUS]

Tumblers!

Grumblers!

Bumblers!

Fumblers!

[ALL]

No royal curse, no Trojan horse,

And a happy ending, of course!

Goodness and badness,

Panic is madness--

This time it all turns out all right!

Tragedy tomorrow,

Comedy tonight!

What on earth is this???

Stuped with a big cap S.

It's Carlton the Tank Engine

Hip hip hip hip hooray

Chugga chugga chug chug, Chuff chuff chuff

They tank along the way

And when you hear that siren

It can only be one team

Our favorite little tank engine

Carlton is their name

(With apologies to Thomas)

Please don't win

Please don't win

Please don't win

Please don't win

(With apologies to Tank)

I dont think the Bulldogs will want to win against the Kangas today either !

Stuped with a big cap S.

I think he's telling us that this afternoon's game against Carlton is a bit of joke. A stuped joke with a big cap S!

We are the navy boos

We are the cold fart navy boos

Were the team that always tanks a game

Were the only team that cant be f$%ked to play

Well keep our crap up

Well make no friends nup

Were such a f#%k up

And then well know that theve been saying

We played the famous tanking blues.......

im ratten the tanking man

ratten the tanking man

our teama a bunch of duds

there no chance we will get judd

im ratten the tanking man

boo boo

im ratten the tanking man

ratten the tanking man

our teama a bunch of duds

there no chance we will get judd

im ratten the tanking man

boo boo

To be fair, if we were playing for picks 1 and 3 we would do exactly the same.