OK. I'll go with the big draft rumour of the day.

Rumour has it that after taking advice from the club's consultant on draft matters, a Mr. Prendergast, Melbourne will pass on pick 9 due to a lack of suitable candidates for the position. The following potential candidates were considered but found unworthy:-

Acres - concern over shoulder injury

Aish - too outside

Billings - probably out of our reach

Bontempelli - tall for a mid and might not fit the bill

Boyd - can't fit him into the side

Crouch - lacks the necessary athleticism

Dunstan - one sided, poor disposer of the ball

Freeman - query by some on disposal

Garlett - too much of a behavioural risk

Hartung - too small

Kelly - definitely out of our reach

Kolodjashnij - name too hard to pronounce

Lennon - tested poorly and not really a midfielder, more a half forward

Rioli - too fat

Salem - didn't do enough at national carnival

Scharenberg - a utility, not a mid

Sheed - one paced and doesn't tackle enough

Taylor - midget, no defensive game

No decision has been made as yet as to whether the club would utilise pick 40 (which of course, now becomes pick 39).

After looking at that, perhaps we should just take Kolodjashnij and just change his name, problem solved/

After looking at that, perhaps we should just take Kolodjashnij and just change his name, problem solved/

I have a better idea. Kade Kolodjshnij has a twin brother, Jake.

They both change names by taking on their brothers' first name.

Gold Coast takes Kade (who's really Jake) at 5 and we take Jake (who's really Kade) at 9.

Simple.

How about we don't take Kolodshinj and we take Freeman or Scharenberg?

Please, please kill this.

I have a better idea. Kade Kolodjshnij has a twin brother, Jake.

They both change names by taking on their brothers' first name.

Gold Coast takes Kade (who's really Jake) at 5 and we take Jake (who's really Kade) at 9.

Simple.

The advantage of taking a twin is that we could always ensure that one would be available each week compared with some particular players (e.g. Clark & Dawes) who perpetually break down.