Earl Hood

Parker is my designated driver Maple! Very dependable.

Just got back home. What a day, off to the Duke at 11.00 for an early counter lunch, then off to the G to watch the match, then off to the bar at half time for further refreshments, what a great game, then off to the Cricketer's Arms after the match and onto the Royal. What a day at the football. Umm can someone tell me who won?

Now now Biff let us be quite clear when I mention a bag I mean 5 goals or more. The NML that I played for has never had veggie burgers or cider after the game that I remember. More like a fine wine selection at the end of the day with a cheese platter but the double espressos at three quarter time always helped our last quarter efforts, a la West Coast circa 2006. And the rules are the same, there is no in the bun rule by the way. The Northern Metrosexual League unforturtunately expanded in later years to bring in sides like the Flowerdale lumberjacks and the Whittlesea Bogans, that was too much for me, lining up on guys wearing gumboots and cotton fleece shirts was no challenge given my speed and agility in those days, to say nothing about my superior vocabulary and oratory skills in the sledging duals. There was simply no more challenges for me. I was an early example of the entertaining "Gun for Hire" full forward hired to bring in a local crowd for a local club long before Fev started doing it. Happy to to be a low profile trail blazer in this area, as Kevin Rudd might say.

Yes Emerald I have seen people playing footy in Ugg boots. I don't recommend it myself. I played a few invitation games for the Fitzroy Hipsters some years ago and had this fullback, from the Carlton Barrista's line up on me wearing Ugg boots, not a good look and not very practical, especially after I did the old foot stomp as we lined up. Got my usual bag as I remember it.

To what?

No Maple you are right. I just googled it and remembered I had seen the device displayed in the Inquisition Museum I visited in Cartegena in Columbia some years ago. Not pleasant at all but then if a woman could not prove she was not a witch well who am I to step in and stop the tickler bring applied? And Uncle unfortunately Conchita had to go home for family reasons last week. I always assumed she was Spanish but my man Hudson drove her to the airport and reported that she took an Aeroflot flight to Moscow! Yes I am confused.

That's it you lot, stop the puns, my Ugg boots are off the market! Now move on before the Spanish Inquisition shows up!

Uncle I have several pairs of Ugg Boots available for sale if you are interested. They are Size 13 though, you know what they say about men with big feet!

Moons I for one want us to celebrate our broad MFC church of followers. While Uncle, Biff, Maple and yourself are off celebrating in their own unique ways, there is my good self hurrying off quickly after the siren on Saturday to attend the Vice Chancellor's dinner at Melbourne University to award to me, my honourary doctorate in Latin American Politics! It is just overdue recognition for my untiring work in opening up Cuba to Obama and the US and the Rolling Stones in concert and guava paste research and my tireless efforts to access their bananas for export! As usual I am humbled by the honours thrown my way but it is understandable given my tireless work on behalf of others!

Agree his ability to get his hands free is uncanny. But he gets his hands up high and shoots off a handball, did it 5 or so times today, amazing. Must have big hands to hold the ball so high and unload, Voss didn't do that so often as I remember.

I will be up and about early tomorrow for my normal one hour power walk but I won't be crossing Smith Street into Collingwood tomorrow that is for sure. They are getting one hell of a pasting from the Swans. Will be dangerous territory tomorrow for non believers. There is some good coffee to be had in Abbottsford so I may have to approach via East Melbourne.

Good heavens Pickett do you have no respect for the recently departed? Our good Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward (née Anderson) passed away just last week. Yes we were adversaries at times but we also had a certain rapport, things could have been different but there just too many strings to untangle to make things work! I have been in mourning since I heard the news. The mere thought of the Uncle drooling over Mi Lady makes me sick to my stomach. And I suspect DC has similar urges as well! Do any of you have one iota of moral decency? While I am at it is anyone interested in purchasing a pink roller with a few miles on the clock?

You are headed for Jerusalem Moons? The Stations of the Cross next Friday?

Outstanding illogical spray, come mad rant, Uncle! One of the best I have witnessed in recent times. This perhaps sums up in so few illogical sentences why we log on each day to this site!

What? Now come on Ernest you are not dead, why you and me had a long conversation not three months ago in The Floridetta Bar about the virtues of socialism and what bait to use if you are chasing marlin, I remember it well. Admittedly I had downed a few daiquiris for breakfast and we met for lunch and come to think of it you didn't say a lot but you were alive and I do have a few selfies of us at the bar as I remember. I think we even discussed this LBWYO issue everyone is going on about lately!

I think you mean redundant?

Ichabod Mudd?

No they did not!

I have several bikes, I took the clunky mountain bike today. It is heavy but stable and requires more energy to move it along so it burns more calories. I don't have a fixie, too dangerous in the inner city traffic I think.

Very pleasant day today actually, in the morning after a hearty breakfast I completed the warehouse stocktake with Conchita and we have enough guava paste, Cuban cigars and Havana Club rum to meet all our future orders. I then got on the bike and rode helter, skelter to Etihad via the Capital Trail bike path using the HIIT methodology. I got there in record time of course, walked straight in and my first highlight was walking past Jack Trengove and Van the Man, gee they look fit! I am sure I then walked past Saty wearing his MFC away Guernsey with a new hair cut as well. I settled down near our cheer squad but I was so exhausted I the fell asleep and missed the first half. Apparently we played quite well.

Whoops!

Well I had assumed this thread was locked after I made the brave call on the smutty nature of the talk here by those I have identified as the chattering classes, the proleteriate as some call it. I assumed the moderators would act appropriately but apparently not! So the good doctor, DC and others can continue their smutty innuendos ad infinitum!

Interesting comment Pro as some here have commented on his similar physique and explosive speed to Jacko. I think Jacko was only about 6'1 but I think he could still play FF these days. Wonder if the Trac has the same speed over 10 or 20m and that X factor ability (that you can't teach) to kick goals from anywhere.

What has happened to the old Aussie Davis Cup team ethos? Remember Rosewell and Hoad, Newcombe, Roche, Cash and Co, all were tough, competitors and friends through thick and thin. What is going on now? Tomic and Kyrios could be very good but are now sniping each other. What is it about Oz tennis players these days? Lleyton needs to get both of them in a room and bang a few heads together, maybe bring in Rochey as well to give them a reality check.

Or Uncle B make things worse? While you and I can have rational discussions on these matters, I fear the chattering classes, typified by the likes of DC, Biffen and Moons to name but a few, will just take anything I say and turn it into smut! I feel not unlike poor Carinal Pell, you can't win, no matter what you say. However yes some of my employees are very dark haired, of Spanish stock, shall we say, so they could be described as hirsute, but only in the right places if you understand me. I have banned razor blades in the Manor on OH&S grounds, as any responsible employer would and I demand to do weekly inspections to verify that we comply with all these guidelines. These are the burdens of leadership. Hudson's role is very simple, to manage and chaperone the maids to the ATM every week to withdraw half their wage in cash to put back into our housekeeping fund in line with the industry norm set by employer companies such as 711 etc. guava paste, well it is doing me a treat as I stated earlier, all I can say is I am hard as nails and am working with Blackmores, it could be worth mega dollars.