Bitter but optimistic

I was just doing some research and stumbled across the following. Oddly enough it wasn't a porn site. Anyway, I knew WJ and Red would appreciate my posting them. Joke 1: A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I'm too young to die. I'm only 55." "Fifty-five?" says Saint Peter. "No, according to out calculations, you're 82." "How'd you get that?" the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter, "We added up your time sheets." Joke 2: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer. Joke 3: One day in Contract Law class, the professor asked one of his better students, "Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?" The student replied, "Here's an orange." The professor was livid. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!" The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding..." Joke 4: As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died." Joke 5: A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mummy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" Joke 6: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are fantasy creatures. Joke 7: At a convention of biological scientists, one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" "Really?" the other replied, "Why did you switch?" "Well, for three reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won't do." Joke 8: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra? Taller. Joke 9: The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father's firm. At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father's office and said, "Father, father! In one day I broke the Smith case that you've been working on for so long!" His father yelled, "You idiot! We've been living on the funding of that case for ten years!" Joke 10: How many lawyer jokes are in existence? Only three. All the rest are true stories.

I didn’t watch last night Ethan but “carefully orchestrated umpiring” now seems a reality in our game. Time and time again we see a free kick imbalance evened up in the last quarter Kinda goes against the notion of impartiality

The club could have saved the time and effort involved in a survey by simply reading this and one or two other threads currently alive on Demonland. I think they'd get the picture of how supporters are feeling atm. Simples!

Can someone explain the the rules of selection to me please if Max pulls up crook Saturday morning we bring Preuss in and this is all quite legal Is that correct?

Err ….yes ….. well, you got me there Ding! And to be totally honest …. I even try to get one in over the bye.

A pyrrhic victory od. I'm not sure I could cop that. Preseason we might have nominated this game to hand out a flogging and roll on into the finals. FMD. What has become of us?

Well I did suggest in an earlier post that the selectors might come up with some "magic". Prescience !!

Hannan came straight into the ones after his long out. He did show a bit last week so I reckon they’ll stick with him in the hope that he’ll recapture his form

Despite our [censored] poor performance changes are tricky this week. Our mids were ordinary but I cant see any of them being dropped. Our forward line was [censored] but with Preuss a likely inclusion for Gawn, Smith's neck has probably been saved. Similarly Petty will get another crack because Lever has been ruled out. Some above have called for JKH but I don't reckon he's up to it. Dunkley ? I'm not sure if he's ready. One of this site's very good judges of young players @Return to Glory has nominated Toby Bedford for a go. I'm really unsure what magic the selectors will come up with - it will be interesting - and who knows there maybe a surprise. One thing for sure, if we are rolled by my ( and many others) most hated team then serious [censored] is going to happen.

My needs are simple ( when quenching the thirst anyway). Red, plentiful and preferably at someone else's expense.

I'm no medico but when I saw the angle that Gawn's ankle was bent to and ,considering his weight, I immediately figured he was a scratching this week. FMD, I cannot fathom how he was ever any chance of being considered!!

Grape Dacquiri would be a more accurate description Red.

I find it simpler to give up such philosophising bb and just slurp more booze

It's not exactly party time at the moment Red.

You can be very cruel Luci !!

I accept the fact that pre season medical issues impacted on our fitness - no doubt about it. However, SYWL makes a very valid point about skills - or lack thereof. In the games I have attended, I have witnessed appalling kicking, marking and handballing that reverted to the embarrassing level that I thought we had left behind us. I also saw terrible decision making time and again in the way we enter forward fifty. Although our forwards also have to carry a share of the blame in this as they are too often stone footed and seem unable to lead or are caught way out of position. They have generally been poor in keeping the pill in our attacking zone. These matters cannot be explained by lack of fitness.

That is precisely what it is.

Terrific news !!! Now give Max the weekend off and let's see what Pruess can do!

For once a sensible decision from those toss pots.

Well [censored] me ….. no [censored] you! I didn't need to know that Goffy!

I agree Jones hasn't been at his best this season. He has been unusually inconsistent. In some matches he has played some very good quarters but then disappeared. His last couple of weeks have been much better. He has not been so poor as to deserve dropping and we don't have ready replacements pressuring him. He is experienced, versatile and always busts his guts for the team. He will and should play on next year.

Disagree Garbo! Jetta will find the going a bit easier with better support around him - Lever, May, a vastly improved Frost and a developing Hore (!). He was too often left with a very unsuitable match up. Provided of course we can keep them all on the paddock.

May jones viney salem petracca frost

You better slurp a bottle or so tonight as well RTG!

Think back to the final against Geelong last year. Have a look at the ladder now Goody. Please tell us what the [censored] has happened!