Little Goffy

Guess we should just be glad they aren't sponsored by a cruise ship company.

"Hey guys, we're the home team for the opening game of the season, what do you think we should do for a theme?" "Anything but football!" "Yeah, definitely don't want to make it too much about football." "People are already getting football just by turning up, we need to offer something more." "How about... animals! Animals that like grass, the MCG has lots of grass. Plus, we have to compete with the Sydney Easter Show." "I know! Horses! it is perfect!" "And Daryl Braithwaite!" "..." "Uh, I guess?" "I was really hoping for Belinda Carlisle, but ok."

Yep. Riewoldt had half a decade of being up there with a shot at it. Jones hasn't had any chances yet, and if we get within striking distance again, his determination will be a key factor. He deserves it now. He'll really, really deserve it by then.

There is absolutely nothing that can go wrong with this.

Since there have been a few comparisons to Richmond, I'll throw in my thoughts. List-turnover shmist-turnover! In five seasons, going as far back as 2011, only 20 players have featured in the top 10 of the Jack Dyer Medal. All but four of those 20 are still on the Richmond list in 2016. Nathan Foley, Shane Tuck, Daniel Jackson, and Robin Nahas, who each only featured once in that time. But the really stark figure is how many players have featured repeatedly in the top-10 at Richmond since 2011; 5 out of 5 - Cotchin, Martin, Deledio, Riewoldt, Houli, Rance 4 out of 5 - Grigg (injured for half season in 2014) 3 out of 5 - Morris (not yet playing in 2011, injured for half season in 2015) Everyone else combined - 11 appearances. To sum up - Richmond are completely defined by just eight players, who between all of them them have suffered approximately 30 games out due to injuries in total, in five years. They've been remarkably lucky, and it's no wonder they wilt under the whole-team pressure of finals. When I started looking at this, I knew I'd find results along these lines, but the extent is even shocking me. Far from having a high list turnover and renewal, it looks like since 2011 Richmond have had the most stable top-end list of any club. And their ages are now 28, 27, 27, 27, 27, 26, 25, 24. Suddenly it clicks why Hardwick has been given the extra couple of years. That's about how long they have before they fall off a cliff. (In my head I call this kind of list situation "Levitating Potato". It is up, it is staying there, but it wont be going any higher and deep down you know that there's nothing really holding it up and physics will take over again eventually. Melbourne did it in 2004-6. Carlton from 2009-2013. Richmond since 2013. And of course North Melbourne are the modern masters of it)

Love your work, DeeSpencer. Very interesting mix of opponents and combos. Made me go back and take a closer look at Gawn's preseason. Port: Lobbe, with rests from Westhoff, and a couple of others turning up for one or two contests. Smashed them, was BOG. 42 hitouts, 7 clearances, 15 disposal with 10 contested, and 2 contested marks. 92% game time. Dogs:Minson and Campbell played just a little over 50% game time each, with Roughead also a bit involved in the ruck. Decisively won the hitouts, broke even around the ground in general but capped his day with 100% disposal efficiency and 2 goal assists. 85% game time. Saints: Rucks Hickey and Holmes (a kid who played 50% game time), with Riewoldt(!) also chipping in a little. Seriously beaten for hitouts, but still managed to get more disposals, marks and tackles than his two opponents combined. 91% game time. Definitely signs of getting tired in that third game. Will be glad for the rest before the season starts. Looking at DeeSpencer's listings, Gawn will often be overworked and it could be a seriously problem as the season drags on. But we can take some comfort knowing that he is unlikely to line up on two different opponents who are only out there for 50% game time each! Even a ruck-forward still has to run around and get tired when they aren't at the bounce.

Would never happen - too awkward marrying someone with the same name as your sister. Besides, Jess Trengove is just so all-round awesome that she transcends sexual preference. I hear The Ox was tested after his radio spot and found to have substantial traces of Melodramaium. 1992 - 20 goals, 7 behinds. 1994 - 60 goals, 23 behinds 1999 - 38 goals, 27 behinds 2000 - 31 goals, 35 behinds Bullseye, dee-luded.

Dunno about 'dynasty' talk, but it is quite remarkable that in a single draft/trade period we look like we brought in as many as ten AFL-credible players. The OP is going to wet himself when he remembers Aaron VandenBerg from the rookie draft that year as well. As a side note - the superpower teams of recent years - Geelong, Hawthorn and Sydney - each got to the point they are at by a combination of one or two 'stellar' recruiting periods, followed by a stretch of consistently effective years targeting deficiencies, and then a final 'push' piece of great recruiting (e.g. Selwood, Rioli, Hanneberry) that made a serious contribution to lifting them another step from 'winner' to 'dynasty'. I say, bring on the few years of consistent and efficient recruiting to eliminate deficiencies. And then the next Ian Ridley! (130 games, 5 premierships - on the cusp of being actually impossible now)

Against St Kilda Gawn played against 2 full-time rucks, something that is very unlikely to happen outside the preseason. One of them had less than 50% game time, possibly all in the second half, so it makes sense he looked weary. He still finished the game with more impact than his two opponents combined. I think Gawn is capable of being ruck all day, but I do agree that it is not the ideal situation, especially over the whole season. Better rests and chop-outs are needed, whoever it is that steps in. Big opportunity for the "M.Kings" to find a valuable role as a forward.ruck, if they can surprise people this season and develop at ludicrous speed.

If Trengove is taking the field for a practice match on the same day as round 1, I really hope the club has a plan to show him running on, getting a kick, laying a tackle and just being out there. Half-time on the MCG screens and on TV, a compilation video of the journey back, finishing with a few snippets of footage from the practice game. Yes please.

Malthouse was of the belief that he was the best, therefore any player who didn't respond to his methods was not good enough. Plus he's got some kind of personal phobia about Aboriginal small forwards, rationalised as a reaction to Leon Davis' Grand Final performances, presumably.

F: Garlett Kennedy Jacobs HF: Robinson Waite Betts If you're going strictly with Malthouse 'list management' then you'd just slip Henderson in at CHF and move Waite to FF. Who'd have thought that Malthouse and Hird would be the most destructive coaches of the 2010s! As for our very own ex-Blue forward line rapier, I'm especially liking that Garlett seems to be getting better at moving around the ground hunting disposals and tackles. Will help smooth over the inevitable inconsistency of specialist small forwards. Extra note - Garlett came in equal tenth for total supercoach points in the preseason, on exactly the same number as the greatly hyped 'breakout' Fasolo. Garlett's never been a supercoach earner so something has clearly changed.

I'll agree on the midfield class difference, there will be an element of damage control there. Though if we can make them 'uncomfortable' enough, we can neutralise their attack. But we've all got good reason to be wild about Gawn - right now he is the in-form ruckman of the competition. Today he played 91% game time, rucking solo against two specialist rucks (and with Nick Riewoldt getting in there too? Strange), and while he was beaten for hitouts he actually finished the game with better numbers and much greater impact than both the Saints' rucks combined. Mumford v Gawn will be a fascinating contest, and I'd tip Gawn to 'win' on account of his marking power, his more complete off-season, and his full run of match-practice.

Did ok today. 18 disposals at 72%. 8 marks, 3 of them contested. 10 one-percenters, and a couple of running bounces for a laugh. I mean, he wasn't in the stellar zone of Jack Watts, but he went ok. Maybe he and Jack are looking in the same mirror?

GWS midfield is still deep and highly attacking. Lots of agile dangerous players in there. I'm not as worried about their defence, and their attack is a bit shaky with McCarthey absent, Cameron potentially gone for a week or two, and Patton still returning. Our key weaknesses are clearances and being overrun on quick rebounds. We don't want to end up in a shootout on their terms - its a Paul Roos special we want.

Aside from the obvious and the already mentioned - Dom Tyson, not that his spot was in doubt, but that he looks to be rebuilding his form and that could be an important factor for us. Jeff Garlett got a lot of the ball against St Kilda today and looked good. More complete than before. And y'know what, Jack Trengove. He's landed on the moon (with the boot and buggy to prove it) and is almost back. Re-entry to the atmosphere is the only remaining stage of the journey. I'm boiling with nerves and excitement for him and at this point the fact that he's joined full training is a huge achievement. Simon Goodwin. For the first time in a very long time our midfield was spacing itself and cooperating just that much better. Either close enough to crunch in or that little bit of distance away to allow a handball out of trouble. Not some stupid distance in between where you can't shepherd or scrap for it, and also can't get free. As a side note, the autocorrect on my phone now capitalised GAWN for me without instruction. We're gonna need a beard-related emoticon.

Scary thing about the Dogs is that a lot of their non-star players have had very good pre-season comps. Caleb Daniel, Jacob Jahanisson,Koby stevens, Lachlan Hunter, Nathan Hrovat,Lin Jong and even the solid gold potato Tom Boyd have all shown something this preason.

T'was a better time when men knew their place - there were the butlers and the buttlees. And an oversupply of spinster flappers up for a jolly good round of twining yarn in the dark.

Things I'll be watching closely - - Tom McDonald's kicking - Jack Watts' intensity - Clayton Oliver (just in general since its my first look at him) - Dom Tyson's form, remembering his 2014 standard - The extent that St Kilda rely on their older guys - Trying to spot even a single St Kilda player I'd want for supercoach. Weird, I can find heaps of Demons

Round 8 is the Doggies first game away from Etihad, against us at the 'G. And y'know what, there's a real chance that will be a top-4 clash. I'm officially going bonkers, but I'd rate us a chance against all our opponents in the first seven rounds, including Collingwood, North and Richmond. Only one finalist for us in the first 7 rounds. Oh wait... two, I forgot Richmond, but I think you have to actually turn up to be counted, no?

If we're thinking someone who keeps showing glimpses but not being a complete footballer, and who then turns it on at last... Ben Newton for my tip. But it'll be an interesting season for sorting the 22. So many, soooo many players who may shuffle in, and at least a little lack of depth in every part of the ground where those fringe players could push themselves into. Good times.

This'll be our first game that I can get to a pub and watch it. Would appreciate a good win, partly so nobody blames me if we lose! Plus, I honestly need to learn some faces properly - too many games just on radio/online last season for me. So, would be very helpful if all the new guys did at least one spectacular amazing thing to help me remember them.

I'd be interested in this too - wondering if there's a contested marking emphasis going around in response to the interchange cap. With Hogan, Gawn and McDonald already out there, a little extra development across the team could make contested marks a decisive advantage in our game. Plus, top fun to watch.

"Hey Jesse, I had a dream last night where our round one opponents were Dawson Simpson and Aidan Corr".

And don't forget the bl00dy Irish and Brits who ruined Kings Cross for everyone.