Little Goffy

I don't have vision but I'm piecing together the following; The offensive momentum isn't happening because of simple errors like fumbles and poor kicks and dumb handballs. The disorganised defence is being doubly exposed because of the frequent turnovers, fast opposition movement, and Treacy just being too big, strong and good for any given one of our defenders. We're not quite dropping our heads, it is more like we are just mentally overwhelmed and stalling. Does that sound about right?

The tragedy, and impracticability, of the closet banjo player. Stunped would almost make the team.

CONSENSUS REACHED ON FOOTY FORUM Unaccpetable. I must break it. Mango chutney is the best condiment for pan-seared salmon, and I've just now had a gutful!

@JOHNNY DEE if you started watching at the 11 minute mark I'm going to have to ask you to switch off again.

I think I remember a scene like that from early in Breaking Bad.

Presumably Trac will be back to full fitness on monday 6th April. In the meantime, plenty of crabbing and sunbaking to do. Also. Ben King. Free Agent. Lols. Also also, Ethan Read out of contract at the end of 2028, right after Gawn retires happy with his second premiership. Also also also, Suns have now beaten a lacklustre Geelong, last place and second last place, on their way to their best start to a season since 2016 - in which season they lost their next ten games. The death ride is not dead. Never give up on a death ride.

Finally it clicked. Took me a while. Studio Ghibli makes an unlikely appearance on a footy forum. I think the character's name is A****aka. One of those arms is cursed, I think? But how do we get Princess Mononoke for the women's team?

Guys, guys, don't be too harsh on mocking Fremantle. They had the same excuses for their first-up loss as we did. Oh, wait, nevermind. Actually, I do find it a little interesting the way that has been portrayed. Freo came out and kicked 8 goals to 3 in the first quarter, and then Geelong steadily reined that in with five goals to three in each of the 2nd and 3rd quarters. In fact, coincidentally Geelong had the same number of scoring shots in every quarter other than the first. Even in the first, you would think an 8-goal quarter would signal pretty full control of a game, but Geelong still managed to snag 3 against the flow. Fact is, Fremantle can be scored against. Just keep attacking and even if they have a big quarter you will be able to mitigate it by getting a few goals yourself. Also worth noting that Freo had an incredible 30 scoring shots from just 46 inside 50s. That makes them them a top-4 team for shots on goal a the same time as a bottom-4 team for inside 50s. It's a freakish 50% higher inside-50 to score rate, whether you compare to lower-scoring teams - West Coast had 10 goals 12 from 39 inside 50s. Essendon 13 goals 5 behind from 40 inside 50s. Or the highest scoring teams - Gold Coast average 19.11 from 65 entries. Melbourne(!) had 18.12 from 56.

That stuff was almost before my time, but I was in fact a home water birth in a spa filled with just such premium Australian sparkling plonk.

In a start to the season which has been defined by many both current and former Melbourne players being at the top of their game, this will be a game with some 27 total Demons on the field. Tom McDonald is going over as an emergency. Would we be so cruel as to put him in to play directly on his brother? Now, I don't think anybody is going there 'expecting' we will win, but gee it is possible a bit. And wouldn't that have us ringing bells and banging pots together in the street. Anyone familiar with the Vietnamese tradition of 'storming'? "Đi bão"

Maybe he meant wine casket, which is where you fill a bathtub with wine and lie down in it. That is true class.

Good on him. Plays his strengths and once in a while gets a magic moment which you just know he'll appreciate cheerfully.

I've figured out the forward line. If you take the inititals of the three players you get the sound my son makes when he sees a pigeon. "Jgjdjg".

Yep, I'm going to need a clue on this one, I'm going into numerology territory and that is never good.

Sometimes you just gotta trust an old geezer's instincts. That arricle is a really nice bit of personal, human reflection and I'd be quite happy to see five of them a week.

Clearly someone at the club has heard of the curse of 4-2-6. All of our talls are listed as three to five weeks. afl.com.auIn the mix: Who could play for your club in R2?Who's struggling, who's a test, check out the players from your list who are a little sore Not sure this will fool the footy gods. Hopefully it doesn't provoke them. I still think we need to get all our previously cursed key forwards together for a formal ceremony to expunge this terrible blight on our club. Hmm, who would we need to call; Luke Molan, pick 9 in the 2001 super-draft but crippled by injury, most spectacularly including a single incident that saw him concussed, break an arm/shoulder AND do an ACL. Nick Smith, pick 15, 2002, the original '426', listed as a medium term injury for almost his entire time on an AFL list. Liam Jurrah, who never got to play a full season due to a string of major injuries (shoulder reco, wrist, leg) and whose final injury was indeed a 'four to six week' setback which he never came back to football from. Does Lucas Cook count? Had some niggles, stuck behind a glut at VFL level (Geebus, Fevola? I'd forgotten that), apparently was mentally shattered by 'hard man Neeld'. Mitch Clarke. All of 15 games with us. Injury and depression, then a temporary retirement and brief return before re-retiring. Jesse Hogan. I don't think he even played a VFL game in what should have been his debut season of 2014 because of 'stress reactions' in his back. But the horror run came later, with his father dying of cancer and then Hogan himself had testicular cancer. Missed our 2018 finals run with a navicular crack, after which he went home to Fremantle and was formally diagnosed with clinical anxiety. Sam Weideman. After a slow start he finally began to really show something with an impressive end to 2018 while Hogan was out. Then in 2019 he was hit by a calf injury and in his return VFL game collided with a teammate and needed season ending surgery. A leg stress fracture ruined his early 2021 before he was finally traded out to nowhere in particular at the end of the year. Tim Smith. Mature age recruit on the list for three years but due to injury never played more than three consecutive games. Daniel Turner. Demonwiki is so matter-of-fact. No games in debut season because of Covid shutdown. Foot injury in pre-season practice match in 2022, then a facial fracture and concussion on debut. Looked promising in pre-season in 2024 but a hip injury kept him out until round 7. Should be glad to be safely back in the forward line. Matt Jefferson and Luker Kentfield - both current 'three to five' weeks after looking promising in the pre-season. Aidan Johson and Kalani White - footy gods got a bulk discount on 'three to five' to start the season. Honorable mention to Harrison Petty for kicking six goals in a game and then two more in the first half the next week, before being injured, and then never quite making it work as a forward again.

I'm going not quite cold but tepid on Butters. He is a very good player but not a structural need. We should be circling like vultures over any unhappy youngish key defenders not getting a game or simply not liking their role. Moneyballl is a thoroughly overworked cliche but Butters is not worth, say, $500,000 more than your typical $700,000 midfielder, and certainly not that much more than a $700k key defender would be worth to us. On the other hand... getting a top calibre player without giving up the draft picks is highly valuable, so if somehow Port decide to not match whichever bid comes then it is a very different picture. For example what would the cash/salary cap space value of three first round picks be? Hypothetically, if you could just trade salary cap space directly to acquire another club's first pick, what price would you set.

I can proudly report that my 8-month old selected the classy 2016 'shield and monograph' members scarf from the selection offered. So glad his skipped the 2011 one decisively. Wife has her 2021 scarf, with a similar simple embkem, she knows what's good. I'm emotionally attached to my original 2000 scarf with the slightly goofy 'vampire with flame' emblem from the Daniher era.

I think Jack (and relevant coaches) will be watching our midfield with great interest and using his current 'lowest activity' time to figure out a really precise comeback plan, very likely giving him a mid-year preseason to focus on the burst speed and fast hunting. I could see him being a forward line stoppage specialist and a horses-for-similar-horses match on opposition beasts. Hmm, he's unlikely to be back by round 12 in time to tag Oliver, unless we meet the Giants in finals. Hee hee. Probably not a good match up for Petracca, but really nobody is, that's the whole point of Petracca. You just gotta bug him enough that he kicked it out on the full.

Half time spelling competition for shillelagh, shillegha, shileya... Landlord-whacking-stick. Dear me, I'd love to have a proper landlord-whacking-stick. I can feel a St Patrick's Day tradition starting...

From what I've seen the open style is very much in fashion and the rules favour it too with fewer boundary stoppages and the boundary-hugging tentative advance now coming with its own new risk. I suspect that many defensive units will have to reassess what they can really protect. Instead of a full arc resembling the 50m line, pinching the edges a bit to create a more elliptical shape (a bit like the ball come to think of it). It might mean giving away a few extra shots out wide, and will also backfire sometimes if the opposition can get their sharpest ball users into that space and then delivering a final piercing kick, but all up lets say it gives away 2 goals 4 behinds, but prevents four goals two behinds, thats a big win.

I suspect I'm not the only one who has watched that goal a couple of times. What I've loved on close inspection is how deliberate it was. Not a simple case of 'I go fast, I go sideways too, watch me go!' but a genuine anticipation of what the defenders were going to do, and a dash into space that actually didn't exist until the defenders kept going to where Latrelle suddenly wasn't.

Mihocek was also constantly in for the posr-goal celebrations. I haven't seen that level of consistent investment in other's goals since Nibbler, who should have a season hug tally trophy named after him. Mihocek and Steele are looking like big wins for character and culture whole also so far proving more than handy in actual play.

@Ghostwriter Welfare check on Ghosty, you alright? Didn't accidentally bite through a Red Bull in the final quarter? All okay? I for one had a good time watching that game. Like, vintage good time. A good time in a way I haven't since before the darkness. It was a game that deserved a Dennis Cometti commentary.

Jarrod Witts' around-the-ground contribution is not even half that of Gawn's, and I don't think he is a true rival for the AA Ruck spot, but at half time Witts is on target for >100 total hitouts after the first two rounds. I mean, rucking against Blicavs last week and Flynn this week isn't exactly top shelf, but... still... With just six goals in the second quarter, looks like Gold Coast have eased off a bit and '186' will not be threatened today, but on the other hand there's travel, there's a young team potentially dropping their heads, and there's the alleged round zero conditioning advantage. Not as if Hardwick is likely to go soft - certainly not when he is trying to turn a brilliant but mentally soft team into ruthless killers.