Demonstone

Jayden was devastated at being traded.

If jumping at shadows was an Olympic event, we'd have a few potential gold medallists posting here.

ftfy

Yze when he was appointed Richmond's coach (left) compared to how he feels right now.

We're a big chance as Footscray are banned from training at their usual venue.

Umpiring in the Western Region Football League this week. He'll be little Ray of Sunshine.

How dare you respond to my lame gag with a factual post!

Is a rainbow baby the one you have after the son comes out?

No more score reviews, but you've raised the tantalising prospect of MULTIMULTIBALL!!!!!

There has been much talk of late about the best way to handle the situation when the footy hits a goalpost. Some have suggested that, as long as the ball goes through the middle, it doesn't matter if it touches a post along the way and should be awarded a goal. Traditionalists would argue that the rule is fine as it is and a behind should remain as the correct score. In addition, there is the thorny issue of the Score Review which is universally loathed as it kills the momentum of the game, takes a long time to reach a decision and is often either incorrect or inconclusive. However, there is another option that has been alluded to in the past but never properly examined and whose time I think has come. I propose that any time the football comes into contact with a goalpost, both the big sticks light up with a series of bright, colourful LEDs (just as cricket stumps do when hit) accompanied by a loud, cheesy electronic musical jingle heralding the start of a period of ... MULTIBALL!!! The lights and music would trigger a trapdoor on each wing of the oval to open* whereupon a spring loaded mechanism like a jack-in-in-the-box would propel another football in a graceful arc onto the field. There are now three footies in play for a period of five minutes. I would also be amenable to ten minutes. Here are what I see as some of the benefits of such a glorious addition to our wonderful game. ~ Just imagine the buzz of excitement and the frisson of anticipation as the posts light up and the music starts. ~ The fun, the chaos, the madness, the unpredictability and the sheer joy of it. ~ New fans would be attracted to the game just for the chance to see MULTIBALL!!! in action. ~ Kids would love it. Get 'em young and keep 'em for life (aka the McDonald's strategy). ~ You would be close to the action no matter where in the ground you are sitting. ~ Scoring would increase and we might even see the return of full-forwards kicking 100 goals in a season. ~ New employment opportunities would open up for MULTIBALL!!! specialist coaches. ~ TV broadcasters could have a four-way split screen with one dedicated to each footy and the other showing the whole ground. ~ Commentary would be unintelligible, banal gibberish, so no change there. ~ We could do away with one of the current four umpires with the remaining three either taking a third of the ground or following one football each. Of course, there are some potential problems. The boundary umpires would need to be supremely fit and vigilant and the goal umpires would be at an increased risk of RSI, which might lead to an increase in the AFL's WorkCover premiums. These are not insurmountable hurdles. The technology exists. The desire exists. The game needs a boost. So come on AFL. Give the fans what they want and that's MULTIBALL!!! * The trapdoors would obviously need to automatically and immediately close again. Otherwise, the players would be at risk of injury from tripping over them or falling into the hole, which would make the whole idea very silly indeed.

There's no need for badgers on our jumper at all.

Looks like this edition of the teaser has run its course. The answer is that the first names of all the players in my team are gender neutral. They can be both male and female first names. I trust that the exercise was cathartic and that your level of rage has decreased rather than risen.

Hows about Howes?

A trigger was just as necessary for the moribund quiz as it was for Roy Rogers to get around.

The teaser may have been discussed this morning over coffee, @Axis of Bob! Meanwhile, @tilly18 has also identified the correct answer. Solution to be posted later this afternoon.

Third place has been snared by @reynolds46. Huzzah! More responses are invited. @Engorged Onion has provided a helpful clue and I think he might have found out what the correct answer is.

Do you wish to cut to the chase and lock in an answer with style?

Coffee date has concluded and I'm nicely caffeinated. Thanks for paying, hot date! The teaser, on the other hand, needs a boost of its own. I'm surprised that more posters haven't worked it out. Some of you obviously don't know if you're Arthur or Martha.

I said the coffee will be hot. No comment on the other person's hotness! We have another winner with @Hawk the Demon solving the mystery and claiming Silver.

It's bedtime here at Chez Demonstone as I have a hot coffee date with another Demonlander in the morning. Remember, with these brainteasers, not to overthink things. Often it's the FIRST thing that comes to mind.

First across the line and securing top spot on the podium is @Lucifers Hero. Well done her! Still up for grabs are the Splenetic Silver Of Seething and The Bitter Bronze Of Bile.

What happened last time, Steve? Did you get drummed out?

I think people are still so angry that they're refusing to play. Of the three teasers I had ready to go, I thought this was the easiest of them. Although the team would be coached by former Demon Kelly O'Donnell, please take the hint that there is no sporting connection whatsoever. Who will claim the Grouchy Gold Of Glumness?

Ask them if they had been born the last time their team won a flag.