The Taciturn Demon

If that's Bailey Humphrey I'm suddenly EXTREMELY keen on average picks in an ordinary draft.

I love Tim Lamb swivelling like a cartoon detective.

I don't believe in the Law of Attraction. That seems more of a Dimma Hardwick thing.

The only thing more Melbourne would be the change in managers happening at the speed of light and the strong trade request coming at the eleventh hour, only for Hawthorn to swoop in like a seagull and steal our very talented chip.

Wow. Talk about "You had one job..." I mean, the whole point of a manager is to be a buffer or a conduit. Or both. If you don't like having difficult conversations, surely it's not the job for you.

Is it obvious that the top ten or 12 of this draft are not at the same level as the top 10 or 12 of last year's draft - or is it very difficult to compare under 18s across seasons?

It's not reporting the facts that people worry about; it's the editorialising.

This thread has been an absolute fever dream. What an adventure!

McNamara Goldrick Paxman Wotherspoon Hanks Gillard

It's been great.

The umpiring is always frustrating, but we had our chances. And as @BDA said, there were numerous baffling decisions that went our way. Not sure we deserved to win that one at all. What I will say is the holding the ball stuff is so disappointing. I was really optimistic that the harsher interpretation would make the rule far easier to umpire. It seems not to have at all. I'm not sure whether the problem is intractable because prior opportunity is so subjective, even if you put numerous sub-rules underneath it, or whether it can work as long as umpires clearly understand the difference between less lenient prior opportunity and zero prior opportunity.

Maybe a certain kind of contested game is more accurate. Collingwood, Port and Freo all looked very similar to me. Intense pressure, our scrimmage stuff a bit off and, as you say, fumble after fumble. I thought today we coughed up handballs more than any other time I can remember this year.

It's a bit of a problem and has been for a while. Strom was sensational, but that was the difference. Extremely aggressive and confident tall and medium defenders versus our lot. Desperately need to find a tall(ish) defender who can take a mark in the off-season. We've done well after a down season last year - but I'm not sure we'll hold up in finals. A bit shaky when the pressure is on. We've all said it numerous times now, but we REALLY miss Liv Purcell.

Yeah. Lots of players well below their best today. I'd love O'Hehir to get involved as well.

Fair effort for Fremantle to have two enormously unlikeable teams.

Only watching on TV but seems extremely strong.

Holy [censored]. That's horrendous.

My hope is that it is indeed a decision where numerous people are consulted widely and that one of the most important voices is Jason Taylor's. If he genuinely believes we can get gems with those two picks and Bailey Humphrey is completely out of the picture, maybe they're enough. I agree that they're not "head turning", but as I mentioned before, we've been dull pragmatists for a very long time. I'd be surprised if King and Guerra suddenly upturn that.

If this is widely known, isn't the result a fait accompli? Even if we attempted to bluff - and we seem more like boring ultra-pragmatists when it comes to trading more than we do card players - they'd immediately call it. Wouldn't they?

Yep. When Cameron was asked by Twomey a day or two ago whether Humphrey had requested a trade, he didn't say "no". He said "not in so many words".

At Hardwick's mum's house? I heard the same. It's in the same basement where Hardwick has a massive corkboard covered in pins linked by red wool, connecting pictures of ABC journalists, George Soros, grey aliens and autism-is-caused-by-flouride cover ups.

I'm going to be laughing about this for a long while.

With Heath out, I wonder if they'll think about bringing in Dethridge.

Very much the case with Petracca last year.

Humphrey: "Well, I was really keen to join the club. I really like what Steven King has proposed. And the midfield of Pickett and Langford and Windsor sounds exciting." Richardson: "Was? Hang on. Why are we talking in the past tense here, Bailey?" Humphrey: "Well, it's just that throughout this meeting, someone's been shuffling around under the desk. At first I thought it was... I dunno... an electrician doing some work, but they're wearing a Melbourne scarf and seem to be recording the conversation on their phone. Guys... it's really weird. I'm out."