Mazer Rackham

Low impact, negligible, careless ... $1000 fine for Andrews

Another thing staring the powers that be in the face. This has been the case for years, but in true AFL style, we get worse. Horse-race style commentary, "personality" commentators as "part of the show", openly biased commentators ... as if that adds anything at all ... and after the match, a roaming f***wit. The only answer can be that the AFL simply don't care.

Consider this. In soccer, can the Colombian referee run the match between Iceland and Senegal? Yes he can. Because he has his whistle and his hand signals and everyone can see what is going on. There is no language barrier because no language us required. In the AFL, can any umpire run a match without constantly talking? No. "Corey ... back two. Back two mate. Corey. Back two." The only vocalising should be "Play on", which in theory could be in any language as long as everyone knows what it means. But simplicity is not in their vocabulary. But it could be ... For some absurd reason the AFL picked on deliberate out of bounds ... as if that's the biggest problem with game ... and started policing it with a no tolerance policy. And pretty quickly got that under control (if it was ever out of control). Anything remotely resembling deliberate was paid a free. Is throwing the ball a bigger problem? I think most would say yes. Why then does a zero tolerance policy not apply? They have this hand-wringing belief that maybe one free kick would be paid incorrectly! A handpass might be called a throw! think of the children! This could cost someone a grand final! (In 2016, maybe the opposite already did!) Their philosophy on how to ref is all wrong and their answers always consist of adjusting poor rules with even poorer rules on top. Third man up being one with the obvious answer staring everyone in the face except the clots who run the show.

Thank you. I thought so too. Golfers live and die by distance judgement and are pretty good at it. It can be learned.

Yes and yes. They should ref to the rule book and there should be no consideration of their contribution to the "entertainment" of the game. (Weekly crowds averaging over 25K per game would indicate that there might be an inherent entertainment factor anyway?) And who thinks Clarko wouldn't be trying a bit of reverse influencing as his club gets first drop on new rules (and how to hustle them)? OK, I think I've spotted the deliberate error, do I get a prize?

The umps don't know the distances. They don't train for it. At a game, count the bands of grass across the ground inside 50. Gives you a clue as to how far 10m is. Usually the bands are between 9m and 12m across. Then watch how many short kicks, paid as marks, don't go as far as one band of grass. The umps are at ground level and don't get to see the grass as clearly as we can from the stands. But they can train to judge distance. Ask any good golfer.

Because they are becoming used to the outrageous randomness of the refereeing. There were a number of whistles blown where no player on either side knew what the free was for. Also several times their players ran into the "protected zone" which suddenly didn't exist any more. They also seemed to have plenty of time to dispose of the ball after a mark or free. Nothing gets done about it because the AFL don't care. They've shown it by their (non) actions time and time again. To their mind it does not harm the game. 40,000 people showed up didn't they? So it's a minor issue if an issue at all. The best thing that could have happened is EFC thrashing WCE in the face of a hugely lop sided free kick count. Takes away every excuse about winning team must have played the ball not the man, etc etc. A shame it was on Friday night, which by Mon AM is practically ancient history to the media duds. Maybe it will have some traction over coming weeks. But nothing will really happen to fix this, even the bullsh*t random decisions and non-decisions in every game every week, until there is root and branch reform of the umpires department. Every incoming umps director buys into this fantasy of "interpretation" which exists only in AFL level football and in no other sport. It seems no umps director is familiar with the actual written rules and works off a version that exists only in their heads. (Examples: Gieschen and Buddy's "natural arc"; Schwab and his "attacking third of the ground" after the Dusty Martin/GWS non-50 metre non-decision early in 2017. There are others.) I don't believe the umps are biased or cheats. They are like untrained workers on a dangerous work site. With poor training and a lack of interest from the bosses, of course accidents will happen. In the AFL situation, where the umps are part time, are working off poorly written rules, overseen by someone who does not know those rules, and are given tacit encouragement not to enforce those rules (eg how many of the players touching umps were reported even though that is in the rules as a reportable offence, no ifs buts or maybes), and in fact seem to be encouraged to buddy up to players and even coach them in their responsibilities ... what hope have they got? It's a recipe for poor refereeing, and that's what we get, and the AFL clearly couldn't care less.

Bert has made a very sudden change to the way we play. Remember the stodgy wins on the way to qualifying, and embarrassing draws & losses? Now we look really quite dangerous. It's just our lack of finishing letting us down. When we compare the one touch, BANG! finishing of the best nations ... the ones who will go deep in this tournament ... to our touch, stop, look around, ah sh*t ... pass backwards efforts ... nearly always our men around the box take that one step too many and give the defenders the time they need to clog it up. In terms of what Aussie fans will accept, I think most understand we'll always struggle to compete with Brazil, Germany, Spain, etc. I think most want us to simply punch above our weight and claim a few prize scalps. Give us something to be proud of, where we can pack the bars all night long. But that means going deep into the tournament and not limping into the 32 and then going home after 3 plucky but unfulfilling matches. Put another way, we don't expect to win the cup, but nor do we expect to simply make up the numbers. Verily, there are none so blind as those who will not see. Has he stopped to consider who owns the club? (Hint: Gulf businessmen.) Also that there are 8 British players in the squad of 27? Compare with cellar dwellers West Brom, owned by Chinese, 12/20 locals. Down to the next level ... EFL Championship (second division in the old money) ... Aston Villa: Chinese, 12/24 ... Wolverhampton: Chinese, 14/35. Down again to EFL League Two ("3rd division") ... mid-table Doncaster Rovers: British, 23/29. Basically you aren't going anywhere without the money to buy foreign players. (There are a small handful of British-only owners in the EPL but it doesn't need saying that they are fabulously wealthy.) By the way! My statistic about our last 5 goals being from Jedinak was wrong. I trusted another web site that should know better rather than look it up. Turns out he scored our last 2 (up to 4 now in this cup), before that it was Timmy with 2 and before that, shared between Kruse, Leckie, etc.

He was as good a writer as a player. Better than Martin Flanagan. Unfortunately struck down with a debilitating illness.

Well, bummer. Now our fate is out of our own hands. Even if we manage to beat Peru who will not be any pushover. Turns out our last 5 goals in international comp (not counting friendlies) are all by Jedinak from penalties. Our fire power around the box is very limited. In AFL terms we generate plenty of inside 50s but do not convert any of them. We are in heaps here and need to throw it around a bit. Start Arzani for some X factor. Play Timmy for as many minutes as he can handle. Have to get on the scoreboard and pile on the pressure. And then hope ...

Correct. The council's imagined paradise of a car-free CBD would involve people parking "near" the city and them tramming it or bussing it or walking. A car park there might seem attractive, in that anything to do with cars can seem in any way attractive to them. The car-free CBD (which we are told will gain financially from all these pedestrians, but somehow not suffer from lack of vehicles bringing in punters) is all well and good except for the inconvenience of King St being the only north-south artery in cooee. A 30 kph limit would not impact much given that it's rarely possible to do more than that anyway. And car-free completely? Only someone detached from reality could even consider it. King, Exhibition, Lonsdale, LaTrobe, even Flinders are all ways of people getting from A to B who would otherwise have no intention of going in the CBD. (Swanston too once upon a time, until they made a mall out of the wrong street. Elizabeth St is the natural mall and cul de sac, not the windswept wasteland of Swanston.)

I think when Bob retired and entered the media world, he was surprised to find there was this persona ready and waiting for him. For some inexplicable reason, after the '16 flag, he was transformed into the Dogs' greatest ever warrior-poet and the world's best knockabout mate that you'd want as your best man. Suddenly there's this image that has been created for him, ready for him to step into it and live up to that. And for a while, he did try to. A bit too hard? I have no doubt in time he will forget all that and just be himself, which can only be good, as he is obviously a thinker with his own views on the relative importance of football and where it fits in society. Nat Fyfe another one, will be very interesting to hear his thoughts post retirement when he has the freedom to utter them. Judd is another one with highly original thoughts, but he's sucked into the vortex of nightly TV shows which are all about reaction to the crisis du jour.

It's okay. If any mobsters about town are MFC supporters, he will soon come to understand the benefits.

You'll never guess what happened when we used to train on the Junction Oval. Spoiler: it ended in tears. One reason why we left there to find a home for us, a special place, a place where we could belong.

Someone's taking a hell of a screamer

Yes, the drive through service is terrible. I've found it a lot easier to get out of the car and walk in.

History buffs! The East Melbourne cricket ground was closer to the CBD than this proposed site. It was at the SW corner of Wellington Parade South and Brunton Ave. Now housing. Another way to work out where it was, is if you can imagine in a straightish line, roughly equal distances apart, Punt Rd oval, MCG, East Melb cricket ground. Here be photo of an actual game. The houses in the background are on Brunton Ave (Jolimont Rd). The crowd there would nowadays be standing on the north bound lanes of Brunton Ave. The double storey houses are still there to this very day. Behind them (in the distance, not visible) is the MCG. Pic itself was taken in 1896. The last match played in the VFA before 8 clubs broke away to form the VFL.

HEY FELLAS! Post-queens birthday special offer. If you drive and Demonland and smash your car, but still get the post out, we'll pay your panel beaters fees! Up to fifty bucks! Terms and conditions apply and Demonland responsibly.

Demonland responsibly!

Guy doesn't have perspectives. Or policy positions. Or even a philosophy. He is a policy vacuum who fills the space with whatever seems like a good vote grabber.

I don't recall mentioning my personal opinion of the merits or otherwise of bicycles vs cars. I am hammering on councils' over zealous condemnation of cars.

"Two wheels good, four wheels bad" That's all you need to know to understand most decisions made. In fact you are now you are qualified to be a local councillor.

"Dear local councillors, If you put this facility in place, no one will EVER AGAIN be able to park on the land used for it. In fact, the bigger the facility, the more cars & more drivers you will punish! Yours, MFC"

The Athenians tried recruiting him under father-son but quickly found he lacked the mobility for the modern game. "He was like a bloody statue", said his coach. "Jason Cloke would have done a better job."

The AFL don't believe in precedent. It kind of cramps one's style, and the TV moguls aren't interested anyway. The rules are already simple. The enforcement of their own rules is a task that is beyond the AFL mismanagement.