Mazer Rackham

That second goal to France was a kick in the guts. I'd just told myself we were a chance to pinch a win. But on reflection we still don't have much sting around the box. Only when Timmy's playing and he'll only come on in the utmost emergency as he won't be fit enough to play too many minutes. The VAR certainly needs some fine tuning. That was very peculiar seeing time wound back to the penalty incident. It was a penalty unfortunately. Gee France will find it hard to field a squad in their next match seeing as how many of them received crippling injuries in this one. Some of them multiple times! What a laugh having just watched the fearful punishment the rugby players cop in the state of origin. That's an ongoing problem that soccer has in this country that it doesn't have in other countries. Ole Bert has us playing much better than I thought. Before the match I'd reckoned on 2-0 or 3-1. 2-1 is not too bad for us provided France get in gear and demolish Peru and Denmark. Iceland. If there there was an "everyone's second team"! Poor bloody Messi will be a nervous wreck and in 20 years time will be found begging in rags in Buenos Ares main square while raving about Ronaldo and the world cup. Saw on another site, "In the airport on Madeira, the Ronaldo bust has developed an extra inch of leer."

Yes, evil.

The review was like a parliamentary enquiry. The outcome was pre-ordained. (As in, the president would come out of it squeaky clean.) As you say, there was no way the bloke commissioning the report was going to have it say that he should be replaced. I don't know why Pert left but I can easily believe that he was [censored] off, as a lot of CFC members were (and are), at the autocratic ways of their president. Example (one of many): the Gubby Allen fiasco. Whether he'll be good or bad for us, only time will tell, but the way he left CFC is to be taken with several handfuls of salt.

Malthouse is the biggest [insert 4-letter word of your choice, one never to be uttered in polite company] in football. Next week Malthouse will saying, straight faced, that he has never criticised Gary Pert in his entire life.

I think Murphy is a guy who was making waves about the lack of independence of the CFC board (all Eddie appointees) and Eddie hushed him up by having him do the review. Easy to see that that could have rubbed Pert the wrong way. That was all Eddie.

For those concerned by his record at CFC ... was he ever really allowed to run his own race there? Eddie is president, CEO, footy manager, list manager, marketing manager and even second-guesses how the boots are studded. I'm inclined to think Pert did well there in spite of the handicap placed on him. One thing: he knows what a big powerful club looks like and how it behaves.

Dancing With The Renovating Chefs In The Jungle. On Ice.

This will be the show that reveals how Jack Watts lost the trust of his teammates. First he asks if there is a sommelier on set. Then, speaking of the pea soup, that he was expecting an element of surprise, but was let down by its pervading ordinariness. Of the steak and chips, that it was abstract but rarely obvious, and used too much tomato sauce. Of the bread and butter pudding, that it was emotionally complex with a hint of eroticism, but ultimately let down the taster by not having any real link to the the active perception it is signifying. Footballers will tolerate a lot, but not that.

What I imagine? Let's see ... your long legs wrapped around George Colombaris ... tentacles ... Sigourney Weaver's face ... your tackle ... I'm not sure I want to imagine!

I had to read this twice to make sure I hadn't gotten the wrong idea

The thing that was so good to see is that he's got his football smarts working for him again. When he came on the scene that was what stood out. (Like Spargo last week.) After all the concussion, when he came back he looked like a ball chaser. Like an ANB with better skills. Today he was everywhere and did countless one per centers. Gee it was good to see a footballer go about his craft.

Couldn't happen to a nicer set of f***ing @rseholes. But seriously, they will never get over it until they say, yeah, we did it. We wish we didn't, it wasn't good, it caused harm, but there you are. We did it. And this is how. They would be surprised how accommodating people can be if you just come clean.

How quickly it can turn. Who would have predicted in 64, what was ahead for the mighty Demons. It must have seemed like we'd fight off for the flag every year for ever and ever. Or South Melbourne after 34. Dogs after 54, Tiges after 80. Long droughts that no-one saw coming. Carlton after 95? Talkback radio was full of supporters this morning insisting that they need another 2 years before we can decide if Bolton can coach or not. WTF? It will then be 5 years.... another 5 years of nothingness.... how easily the wheel of fate turns over. They are broken. Now the dons at a crossroads. Please take the wrong fork! The golfer Peter Thomson, talking about Tiger Woods a few years back, was tut-tutting about his messing around with his swing. He said, the winning mentality is such a fragile thing that you don't willingly mess around with it. It can be broken and never come back. At MFC we understand full well how hard it is to get this thing "culture", "winning mentality", etc. It can be done. Look at Sydney. But how easy it is to lose it. Past success doesn't guarantee anything, except a cup in the trophy cabinet to gaze at.

You've inspired me! "F*** off Essendon F*** off Essendon F*** off Essendon F*** off Essendon We know that you're scum Your ex coaches are dumb Your fans are all glum We like what you've become F*** off Essendon F*** off Essendon F*** off Essendon F*** off Essendon"

Yeah, but footy fans aren't renowned for their fairness or good judgement. Carlton haven't gotten over their industrial level tanking, WCE only have to blink for people to recall their drugginess, and Essendon will never escape this world class drug scandal. We have enough trouble dealing with simply being the MFC. So f*** the EFC and all who get dragged down by the undertow.

I dunno if Geelong did or didn't drug up. But if it hadn't been for the ACC tipping off ASADA, we would now be talking about EFC's drug scandal the way we're talking about Geelong's. IE, not. The AFL broom and carpet were ready and willing but the game got away from them.

Rumours have been going around about Thompson for years. But people would say, yeah nah, it must be that he's eccentric, or this is what being a coach will do to you, or look what Tird's put him through.

With "Essendon's Friend" (Slobbo) and Gerard "there is no controversial subject too soft for me to shy away from" Twatley, it is only to be expected. Whately tried to pour cold water on the EFC drug thing when it came out, and joined in the attacks on ASADA. And when it comes to horse racing, he seems to live in a fantasy world of majestic foam flecked stallions and thrilling thundering hooves. And does not want to know that there is an enormous underbelly. Fair dinkum he must sleep with the light on.

Nothing to worry about. Just tell the judge it was the "good" ecstasy. And show them a photocopy of a picture of a label of a Nurofen bottle. All good.

We can still panic though, can't we? Can't resist a good panic. Don't waste the opportunity!

In the match fixing thing, Warne and Waugh were careless and thick-witted and were 5 minutes from being sucked into Hansie Cronje territory. They deserved to go for stupidity if nothing else. Can reasonably be seen as a F$&@k up. In the diuretic thing, after Warne missed games with a shoulder injury, his mum didn't tell him to back off the baked beans and chips and maybe hit the jogging machine. No, she (renowned sports scientist that she is) advised him to take a "weight loss" tablet which "just happened" to be a masking agent for steroids, which just happen to be great for recovering from shoulder injuries. I don't buy that that was a F$&@k up.

Not sure I see where the "mess" is. It's supposedly not on any banned list and looks like it's being tested by actual scientist/medicos. It seems to fit more into the pain relief category than the performance boost category. If it's suss the AFL can ban it. Whateley's nose for this kind of news is way off anyway. He tried to wave away the EFC drug scandal, and don't try to talk to him about Damien Oliver. You'll hear a whooshing sound from how quickly he changes the subject.

If the AFL ran international cricket ... Demetriou would have called Lehmann and Smith telling them they were about to be nailed Bancroft would have been made to swallow the sandpaper There would be no charge of ball tampering. The whole thing would be put down to governance failures Smith would be sent to France for a year on a management study course Lehmann would score a gig with a management consultancy firm Warner would spend a year in New York learning to be a barista Smith would eventually present the Alan Border medal Everything would be the fault of the media. The players would all be brave, hard done by, Some numpty would sue the ICC

It's only trying to keep pace with the modern game!

Seconded, for same reasons