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Jokes

demon3165
in Melbourne Demons

Featured Replies

Posted

Some old and might be some new

Q. Two Collingwood supporters jump off a cliff. Who wins?

A. Society.

Q. What does a Collingwood supporter use as protection during

sex?

A. Bus shelter.

Q. What does a Collingwood supporter use as a contraceptive?

A. His personality.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old female Collingwood supporter?

A. Granny.

Q. What do you call a Collingwood supporter in a suit?

A. The defendant.

Q. Why did the Collingwood supporter cross the road?

A. To start a fight with a complete stranger, for no reason

what so ever.

Q. What do you call a female Collingwood supporter in a white

tracksuit?

A. The bride.

Q. If you are driving and you see a Collingwood supporter on a

bike, why should you try not to hit him?

A. It might be your bike.

Q. What's the first question during a Collingwood supporter

quiz night?

A. What you looking at?

Q. Two Collingwood supporters in a car without any music - who

is driving?

A. The policeman!

Q. Why is three Collingwood supporters going over a cliff in

Lexus a shame?

A. Because a Lexus has four seats.

Q. What do you say to a Collingwood supporter with a job?

A. Big Mac please.

BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE....

You know you're a Collingwood supporter when:

1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner

table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same

in-laws.

4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of 'most admired people.'

5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so

clean.

6. Someone in your family once died right after saying: 'Hey,

watch this.'

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.

9. You think the last words of Advance Australia Fair are:

'Carn the Maggies .'

10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded,

right off its wheels.

11. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on

how much petrol is in it.

12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

13. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

14. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a

law against it.

15. You think 'loaded dishwasher' means your wife is drunk.

16. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

17. Your front verandah collapses and kills more than five

dogs.

  • Quote
    •  

    Some new ones for me there - still always get a laugh from the ones I have heard before too - thanks!!!

  • Quote

    Q. What's the difference between Collingwood and an arsonist?

    An arsonist wouldn't waste 22 matches.

    A dole bludger, a drunk, and a collingwood supporter walk into a bar...

    ...and that was just the first bloke

    Collingwood are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support,

    soft and no CUP!!!

  • Quote
    •  
    Some new ones for me there - still always get a laugh from the ones I have heard before too - thanks!!!

    How many gears does a Lygon st Tank have? 1 go & 15 backward..

  • Quote

    what's got 60 legs and 10 teeth?

    the front row of the collingwood cheer squad

  • Quote

    Whats the difference between a collingwood single mother and a pizza.

    The pizza can feed a family of 4.

  • Quote

    Q. Why do magpies swoop?

    Because in Collingwood they have nothing to do, so they swoop other supporters in another area ie us.

    Q. How do you get magpies to go away?

    Say Melbourne Demons and sing the Melbourne team song

  • Quote
    Q. Why do magpies swoop?

    Because in Collingwood they have nothing to do, so they swoop other supporters in another area ie us.

    Q. How do you get magpies to go away?

    Say Melbourne Demons and sing the Melbourne team song

    :huh:

  • Quote
    •  

    I sent this to my Port supporting friend after the grannie, bad but hit him right where it hurts:

    What's the difference between Geelong and Port Adelaide?

    About 20 goals.

  • Quote
    Q. Why do magpies swoop?

    Because in Collingwood they have nothing to do, so they swoop other supporters in another area ie us.

    Q. How do you get magpies to go away?

    Say Melbourne Demons and sing the Melbourne team song

    At least you had a go at making your own up!

  • Quote

    Q. Why do magpies swoop?

    Because in Collingwood they have nothing to do, so they swoop other supporters in another area ie us.

    Q. How do you get magpies to go away?

    Say Melbourne Demons and sing the Melbourne team song

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Kanga.

    Kanga who?

    Kanga-roo!

    I made that joke up when I was 4. Apparently I found it absolutely hillarious at the time.

  • Quote
    Q. Why do magpies swoop?

    Because in Collingwood they have nothing to do, so they swoop other supporters in another area ie us.

    Q. How do you get magpies to go away?

    Say Melbourne Demons and sing the Melbourne team song

    School Holidays????????

  • Quote
    9. You think the last words of Advance Australia Fair are:

    'Carn the Maggies

    :lol::lol::lol:

  • Quote

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