Demonstone

What was Donald Trump Jr. doing out there in the first place?

Boy oh boy! Wowee! I almost spat out my cornflakes when I came across this news item in The Daily Bugle this morning. It's absolutely incredible! I can scarcely believe it... I hope it's OK by the mods if I reproduce the article in full. In what is believed to be a first in world sport, Melbourne Football Club is on the verge of sacking its entire coaching staff and replacing them with a group of fans from their website Demonland. This innovative and radical move would save Melbourne millions of dollars and shore up their financial position in perpetuity. An anonymous source from within the club says that they have long valued and admired the collective judgement and football wisdom of Demonland posters and that it would make sense to make use of their talents, particularly when it would cost nothing at all. CEO Gary Pert has refused to comment publicly, but insiders claim that he sees this move as a game changer that would put Melbourne ahead of the curve. When contacted for comment, under siege coach Simon Goodwin stared into the middle distance while absentmindedly scratching his left leg before saying in a flat voice "The reality bus is full of learnings and I've recognised for some time that Demonland posters know much more about this coaching caper than I ever will. I could see their involvement bringing about instant and ongoing success for the team." Our source can also reveal that List Manager Tim Lamb has conceded that his position was redundant given the collective expertise on tap and was looking forward to Melbourne cutting out all the deadwood on the list and winning every trade period in future. Recruiting guru Jason Taylor is said to be equally enthused and was overheard saying that he was looking forward to the parade of champions that would be drafted from here on and that the Demons would never pick another spud with the experts in charge. President Glen Bartlett has privately conceded that the entire football department is on notice, with the possible exception of the boot studder, the doorman and the bloke who cuts up the oranges at three quarter time. The Selection Committee is also expected to be given their marching orders and be replaced by a poster who has not been identified but is believed to live in the vicinity of Werribee and who has agreed to take on the task of weekly team selection on the proviso that the side is printed IN UPPER CASE. While this amazing news has been greeted with widespread enthusiasm from the Demonland faithful, a cautionary note has been sounded by one long-time fan who wished to remain anonymous but agreed that he was an Old Dee and said that he was pessimistic that these changes would help and predicted that Melbourne would never be any good. Melbourne Football Club remain tight-lipped about this visionary proposal with a formal announcement expected to be made at a supporters function to be held on 1st April at the Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen's Club in King Street.

He is named as an "out" on the AFL website, along with subs from other teams who have been omitted from the squad.

I think I heard somebody say that Blicavs is tall and athletic. Funny it's never come up before.

Would Rohan be looking at a couple of weeks holiday for whacking Neale in the chops in the first quarter? Agree that Selwood should have a case to answer for that tackle.

They have to nominate the injury sub before the game. An earlier poster stated, before the emergencies were even named, that it would be Baker.

I think he might be a bit past it seeing as he's 75 years old.

Robbie won the B & F in 1977.

So neither win? Nice!

You've made some unsubstantiated claims about Oliver. Who are the other players?

It's odd that after this round (barring a draw), one of Geelong and Brisbane will be winless and one of Adelaide and Sydney will be undefeated. Early days, of course.

The true reason for Saturday's low attendance has been revealed! Come on, fess up now. Which one of you is behind this?

Google doesn't have access to your imagination.

Where?

Turn it up, how would YOU know this? Jimmy Gadson and your former username Steve Jordan are both drummers. Is that why you're so downbeat?

Shades of Eddie McGuire here. Sees himself as the victim and thinks it's all about him.

It doesn't look too bad to me. The top three all played in the praccy match, a couple are only one week injuries, Lockhart is still out for (with?) a pair and the two key forwards are getting closer.

I remember reading in a book many, many years ago that Brian Dixon would walk around the playground at school squeezing a tennis ball* in each hand to strengthen his grip. He was teased by the other kids for this, but I have no doubt that it helped him with his marking ability. * May have been squash balls not tennis, but certainly not the type favoured by Terry Wheeler in later years.

Nick Smith.

Lovely post there, Ernie. When I was a kid, I had two huge Mobil posters on my bedroom wall. One was my hero Hassa Mann (had his number 29 on my very first footy jumper) and the other was the esteemed Tassie Johnson.

Possibly in training for a job at Parliament House?

Three weeks is his right whack, I reckon. I wonder if this forum would have been paying such close attention to this matter if we weren't playing Geelong in three weeks time!

Kevin Murray didn't play fullback. His positions were ruck-rover and half-back flank. Might you be thinking of St Kilda's Bob Murray who was an excellent fullback (but never won a Brownlow!)?

Hahahahaha!! As long as he doesn't give us the cold shoulder, I suppose.

Hanging is too good for him. Three weeks minimum.