Skuit

We should put microchips in them.

Or exactly like that. But Catch 22 has lost it's precise meaning, so using it is as a reference is bit like catch 22.

I'm seriously lost for words* *Possibly an effect of taking drugs as a youth.

Like admitting to having watched the Footy Show and pretending it was only for the pictures, it pains me to poach from Stuie's self-constructed simpleton temple that is Melbourne Demon News facebook page, but apparently Burgess was was on SEN and said the following, according to a Stuie acolyte: - 90%/10% on ‘footballing‘ sessions v running sessions over the preseason for the Dees. - Seniors return Monday week: 4 sessions per week + weights and gym; - All MFC staff are cognisant of the abilities of first to fourth year players, expectations need to be managed as well as harnessing doubt that younger players may have about their abilities; - Tracking very well from a preparation point of view with only two players expecting a delayed start (no names given).

Folk mock (mostly in jest), but I have a vague recollection Goodwin swung by Arsenal FC last off-season (?). Nek minnit: Welcome to Demonland (the highly credentialed and sought after high performance guru) Darren Burgess.

Sounds like a good approach to me. Add pizza-gobbling smokers to the criteria and it's practically fool-proof.

I could have added 'Norwood' (and would have if it wasn't my life-long team) as it hasn't been the happiest of hunting grounds for us in recent years. And for other teams as well, in respect to light-bodied mids - not mentioning any names - cough cough - legendary bloodline - cough cough - James 'have fun in Fremantle' Aish. The exception of course being uber Alex Georgiou.

Jack Martin is taller than more than half of our list. Go figure.

SMS exchange with CFC mate: Sam Murray? Sam Murray is fun. Like for a night on the town? Like wild line-breaking speed from half-back beating five players before kicking out on the full. (Checks that 'Sam Murray' wasn't auto-corrected to Sam Frost).

It's like some twisted exposure therapy to determine if a patient has truly recovered from MFCSS as claimed: Stephens is another lightly built midfielder being just 70kg SANFL League side

It's almost Monty Pythonesque. Bennell states his desire to join our club. We're then concerned about his mental state.

Not sure if anyone has forwarded knowledge of any special relationship. But the speculation is probably due to Martin citing Betts as a factor in his determination to get to the Blues. If he's deciding his future on such a triviality, it adds weight that he may be swayed by a friend's recruit elsewhere. Just guessing here.

I can confirm you're the early clubhouse leader EO.

Is your workplace the Central Hotel or Courthouse? If so, yes. A number of times.

TL:DR - see bolded: Thanks to a combination of factors (mostly, I think the current standard of football is [censored], and I personally derive more entertainment from watching elite teams crush all-comers and occasionally come up against each other rather than some notion of ‘evenness’), it has got to the point where I barely watch any football games not featuring the Melbourne Football Club. Because I see the world through my own biased lens, I just assume that anyone else who comments with conviction nowadays on the attributes of a player outside of Patrick Dangerfield or Dustin etc. from another club – as if they’ve actually watched said player enough to develop an informed opinion – is simply talking out of their [censored], pretending to have insight. I’ve probably watched about eight of Jack Martin’s 90-odd games to be honest, and likely wasn’t paying much attention to him unless he massively stood out. Anyways, running with the idea that most of us in truth have limited exposure to opposition players, it got me thinking about exposure bias: and how that might impact opinions on this board vis-à-vis their performances v. the MFC. So, without further ado, introducing: This is the Price is Right – MFC edition – sponsored by ‘it’s no from me’ in conjunction with ‘he’s a dead-set gun’. As we enter familiar territory in patiently waiting for the AFL national draft, I thought we could run a little experiment. The following forwards have either been cut, traded, or were rumoured to be on the move during this trade season. What they have in common was that they have all inspired threads on Demonland. The game is simple. Are the following statistics above or below career averages? (You’re welcome to cheat, but really, is it worth it in subjecting your soul to that deep down enduring shame?) Two clues from combing the stats, the MFC appears a defensive powerhouse, and accuracy plays a clear part. Quote the below and add 'above' or 'below'. The winner will receive one free consultation from a one-time Crystal-ball thread winner ahead of next-year's home & away season: Jamie Elliot v MFC: 7 goals from 6 games Mitch Brown v MFC: 2 goals from 3 games Josh Jenkins v MFC: 11 goals from 8 games Tom Papley v MFC: 7 goals from 4 games Eddie Betts v MFC: 36 from 20 games Josh Walker v MFC: 2 goals from 3 games Dan Butler v MFC: 1 goal from 3 games Daniel Menzel v MFC: 14.5 goals from 6 games Josh Bruce v MFC: 15.2 goals from 9 games Mason Wood v MFC: 7 goals from 3 games Freddie Clutterback v MFC: 0 goals from 0 games Levi Casboult v MFC: 6 goals from 5 games

Profile picture doesn't check out.

Haven't seen a second of him, but based on the name alone he sounds super clumsy.

Dub - Regardless of the on-field outcome, I'd happily sacrifice a list spot for the statement it makes and the small skerrick of excitement it brings to the supporters. The wage will probably pay for itself in memberships within a week of the signing.

Presumably referring to the happy and keen to stay part of the hypothetical.

That's the beauty of it LH: you don't need to be a Harmes-basher to bash a Harmes thread. Match the potential posters with the hypothetical quotes: 'A five-year contract for just another bland inside-mid!' 'And so how far did Harmes get us last year?' 'Why won't we grow a pair and spend that cash on a player we're crying out for in Martin?' 'McCartney was responsible for developing Harmes, and stubborn Simon sent him away' 'It reminds me of when we signed Artie Cambridge in the summer of '22 . . .' 'Something something Jordan Lewis something something the club is forever ruined'

Taylor discussing trading for pick 8 and the comprised 2020 draft: Deduction one: we’re targeting a specific player. 5.40: ‘Because it’s compromised, we thought it might have been a good opportunity, and we liked a player in the (whoops, stutter) . . . in the range . . . umm . . . for this year, so (recovers composure) . . . It’s a simple as that, we’re not targeting a specific player.” Deduction two: That specific player isn’t ready-made. 5.50: It’s just getting in another early draft selection, getting them in a year earlier and get going. Taylor discussing pick 3 and there being about three players in the mix Deduction three: Luke Jackson isn’t one of those players (at 3). Leading question: is Luke Jackson in that mix? Taylor (super-casual): ‘Yeah, he’d be in that mix, I’d say, umm- (Long discussion of flexible traits) ‘. . . he’s a unique player in that sense, but obviously there’s other players that have got some high-end qualities in their game.’ As has been mentioned, Taylor then refers to not outsmarting yourself at pick 3, and picking the best player. The following discussion, on the lessons learnt from earlier early picks at the MFC (2014 and 2016), is super-fascinating for its nuances. I won’t speculate, but it starts at 12.50. Selective quotes: ‘I take myself back to home interviews, or one-on-one interviews, and the little things where you think I wish I would have asked that, maybe found that out a bit different . . . They take time to mature, players . . . They get challenged, you want to make sure they’re up for the challenge.’

There's something odd about this thread. But I'm sure it will correct itself soon enough . . .

I think people need to keep in mind what we sold to get pick 8 - and why we were willing to sell what we sold.