Deemented Are Go!

No [censored]

And don’t you love it

Just picture her relaxing in the verjuice bath, eyes closed, her flappy bingo wings gently bobbing around with the movement of the hot tub....

Oh good god, no. Although I’ve met her plenty of times. She had an unhealthy obsession with verjuice. Like, she bathes in it.

Then I would’ve kicked him square in the bollocks. But seriously, he thought he was Pele but was slow as treacle and a hack kick.

Some of my tackles probably ended up looking like what you imagine. I’d had half a dozen stubbies before the game!

Let me tell you a story about Masterchef. My ex missus, a fairly well known chef, featured on the program in one of the early seasons. On one episode, contestants had to replicate her recipes for judging by the usual panel. On another, she was invited to be on the judging panel itself (a final IIRC). In the one where they cooked her food, she reckoned all but one actually executed the dish properly. That person got scored the lowest and was kicked off the show because they were obese or ethnic or whatever compromised ratings. In the one where she was a judge, she reckoned one particular dish was just awful. Inedible. Especially after the food sits there for 2 hours whilst they prepare for the next segment. Anyway, she says to Georgie and his pals she’s gonna generously give the plate of [censored] a ‘2’. Whilst the rest of the gang agreed the dish was rubbish, the producers forced her to score a ‘6’! Now for those who have worked in hospitality, it’s needless to say that when a group of chefs (there were some others on the judging panel that episode) are bored and have time to kill, they may find ways to...indulge! So a few sheets to the wind and naturally rebellious, my ex missus brushed off the tap on the shoulder from the producers and scored a ‘2’ anyway. They had to re do the whole scene again! The powers that be manipulating the judiciary to the benefit of select individuals or parties - sounds like the AFL/mro/tribunal, ay? Masterchef is a bloody nonsense and has created a phenomenon of starry eyed, entitled bed-wetters of thinking they have some rite of passage to become a celebrity chef. Shut the [censored] up, put down your tweezers and get in the corner and peel 60kg of carrots, kid, there’s a queue of 50 people from all nationalities and desperate personal situations to take your job, you little [censored]. I hope Chunk won’t be forced to lie. No one deserves that. And for the record, I played against George Colombarus in an inter-restaurant charity soccer game. I’m 6”2 and was playing as a defender on Georgie. He thought he was quick, but my long legs were wrapped around him all day like an alien on Sigourney Weaver’s god dam face. After yet another intercept (with plenty of niggle) he cracked the [censored] and had a sook to the umpire. Then he gave me a mouthful and moved position! In a bloody charity game! Grade A jerk. We won 2-1.

Cue that annoying fuken ‘can’t we have both’ meme.

So to change the topic completely; what’s the latest membership figure??

Excellent news - proud of the MFC to take this stance. Kudos

Yeah I got mine off him (and Oscar Baker)

Got my renewed membership pack from my mother in law for Xmas today, bless her. I got J. Hunt on my card cos he’s grouse (and we share the surname). Perfect recurring gift ????

You'll renew after 6 rounds.

https://www.zerohanger.com/vfl-star-hunted-number-afl-clubs-16647/ looks like he might be hot property...

I'm pretty sure Lever didn't play that game.

I don't get it....

Because Adelaide are petulant tossers and we want to maintain our 'amicably workable' trading rep for the future.

Sorry didn't look closely at emojis, please forgive me. This is the real joke!

Lever shits all over Howe

Lol! Sorry, my wifi was playing up!

You got a source for that joke?

You got a source for that joke?

You got a source for that joke?

You got a source for that joke?

That's hilarious! C'mon, Jake, come to the warm bosom of the MFC, it's gonna be ok..