Mazer Rackham

You left out the 25 goal thrashing? Disappointed.

OK, this intrigues me. But can you elaborate. What are the bonds we are building with the AFL and other clubs. I can see the ANZAC game with RFC could be part of this. What else? I don't follow this at all. Can you give examples so an old slowcoach like me can understand who are the key stakeholders and what are the strong bonds we are working towards. Again, this sounds very promising, but what are the concrete things that are re-invigorating our brand, and what does re-invigorating our brand look like? Bigger membership? Merch sales? Again, I'm finding this hard to follow. What does a coach say (or is it the FD, the board?) to players to give them perspective. What do players do in response? Win games? Looking forward to some elaboration.

That'd be Selwood, surely

1. KB is a stirrer of old. He's world class at it too. Let the senile old bugger have his moment of joy. 2. Fluke or no fluke. Either way it's not easy. The RFC players and fans will be sorely disappointed at fluking a premiership. I know I would be. (not)

Scene: Family Day. Families and kiddies are gathered around players, chatting, getting autographs. Alex Neal-Bullen is among them. A grizzled old supporter with a tic in one eye, and wearing a beanie, scarf, training jumper, duffel coat with Jack Mueller's number on the back, and club tie, limps near. It is The Satyr. The Satyr: Alex! (Everyone looks up. The kiddies flee in terror.) ANB: (thinks) It's this guy again! The one who's always at training. What's he doing here? Why won't he leave me alone? ANB: (aloud) G'day mate. Great to see you. Hope you're having a good-- The Satyr: I have this medical invoice I found in the dumpster behind the AAMI centre. It mentions an order for 100 boxes of linament and bandages. Items usually required to treat injured groins! I want to know everything that's going on with your groin, and I mean everything. ANB: (thinks) Got to get away ... fast! ANB: (aloud) All good, mate. Everything's fine. It's fine. It's good. It's .... fine. All fine. The Satyr: Thank you. That's just what I was expecting to hear. (Gets out clipboard, ticks box, makes note. Looks around for Jordan Lewis.)

What the ....? Oh, you must be one of those "sports fans". Of course. Seriously, man, didn't you see the ratio of ad revenue to broadcast time, in comparison to the older, duller, LONGER version of the er, sport. It's faster, sharper, more contemporary. The revenue stream, I mean. The game, well ... who really cares about that? The kiddies, I guess. And then we can play double headers, with explosions and strippers ... oh my god. What planet are you on? (Oh that's right, we already established that you're one of those "sports" "enthusiasts". Right.)

Next in AFL: no behind posts. Too provincial and backward. No bouncing of the ball when running with it. Bloody thing sometimes goes sideways, ruins the spectacle on TV. New exciting offside rule. Too dull when a bloke gets an easy goal over the top. Ruins the spectacle on TV. Game day squad of 40. 25 on the field and 15 interchange. Unlimited interchange. How exciting to watch fit young athletes dashing on and off constantly, like track and field relay teams. New zone system. No, not a requirement to have minimum players in each zone. Instead, teams will be penalised if any player is more than 30m away from the ball. Every player has a chance to be in the action at every moment! What a thrilling spectacle for the TV viewers! No actual players. Instead players will be holographs controlled by Xbox gadgets operated by spectators who win a lucky draw before the match. No actual "clubs", which are outre and tribal in this era of enlightenment and egalitarianism. Instead, sponsors will bid each week to have a team playing under their name & colours. ("Come to the G this Wednesday morning at 4AM -- Euro prime time -- to see the Reject Shop Pickers take on the BankWest Platinum Mastercard Big Spenders!") My god, the merchandising opportunities alone are enough to make you weak at the knees! Players are not signed to club, they're signed to the league. Sponsors to decide which players will play on each team on the day. Marketing managers representing the game day sponsors will do an old fashioned take-it-in-turns to select players. Like in schoolyard days. A tip of the hat to the past, to keep the older (and bigger spending) punters happy. At half time, players from other clubs can invade and take over positions on the field. For a touch of reality TV, which all punters absolutely love. Just check out the ratings if you're a tired old stick on the mud. One player from each team will change sides at a random moment. In-game betting will give out fabulous cash prizes to viewers who can correctly predict how much revenue this players earns during the game. The people's game. And you're telling me we're going to have to wait until 2050 to enjoy all this!?

I am reminded of a tale from a long long time ago, about a boy who killed his magical goose so he could get all of its golden eggs at once. From memory, he ended up with no goose, no eggs, and worst of all, no TV rights contract for live coverage.

I'm guessing that the current coaches of Danger, Dusty and Fyfe will freak out at the thought of another coach getting their mitts on their guy ... imagine if Danger did a knee while doing one of Stuey Dew's training drills? The coaches killed representative footy because of possible player injuries. They might kill this too. The Channel 7 and Foxtel ledger books might be the place to start.

Doesn't it go without saying that everything posted on here is the poster's opinion? Unless they're quoting someone else or explicitly saying "this is someone else's opinion". (This is someone else's opinion.)

"Place hand on doorknob, turn hand. Door will open" - Matthew Lloyd, most days

Now listen. Logic has no place in this. It's as foreign to footy as reasonably-priced food.

It doesn’t mean he will be but I’ll guarantee you, he won’t.

You're probably not really missing it ... it's that our footy department and player development runs rings around that of 5 years, 10 years ago. Once upon a time, ANB would have had his cards marked already. O Mac would be vice captain at Casey, mentoring younger players earmarked for bigger and better things than Oscar. Hunt would have been turned into an inside mid and then delisted. Our current FD is clearly giving Wagner his best shot to shine. I agree with what you say, he doesn't look like he'll make it, but he won't die wondering, nor will the FD. Most here would have had ANB and OMac delisted by now. I have tucked what tail I have left between my legs and am prepared to back our FD in with whatever their plans are for Wagner and all the rest of the fringe players.

Horse racing is more legit

Specifically, that ASADA were about to descend. On "a" club. Who knows which club? I'm not saying that it's YOUR club, David. Of course, if it were -- hypothetically speaking of course!! -- I'm confident that they would find absolutely nothing. By the way, are your shredders in good working order? I'm just asking to make conversation.

He's trying to prove Demetriou guilty, of setting up EFC and victimising the golden child Tird. What the fool doesn't understand is that Demetriou is guilty of protecting EFC and minimising the damage. Demetrious is a heavyweight in more ways than one, and I'm sure his cross examination will reveal a lot more, and damage EFC more, than this fool would want. Already the defence lawyers are calling it "Operation Backfire"

Gee ... I wonder if "Melbourne lawyer" Jackson Taylor is actually a duffle coat wearing, mouth breathing nuffie and diehard Essadon supporter.

That Tonya Harding might be able to help. Anyone got a phone number?

Points awarded. That's seriously good.

Little known fact. Casey is further from Melbourne than Canberra. You could drive from Mallacoota to Mildura and it would be quicker than driving to Casey from anywhere.

Treading on thin ice. In this modern age, assuming or pre-judging anything to do with anyone who may be lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, [censored], intersexual, pansexual, or of indeterminate sex ... may infringe on someone's human rights. Assume nothing. Do not pre-judge. Do not be biased, bigoted, chauvinistic, or anything else that may cause Robbo to feel he is less than worthy as a member of our society. Play it safe and treat Robbo as the one thing everyone of every ethic or creed can come together and agree on: he's a drunken fool.

Maybe, could it just be, is it possible that the TV stations have suggested this tiny change and $omehow (your gue$$ i$ a$ good a$ mine), it seemed logical to Gil and his merry band. A glimpse of the future, where TV stations totally run the show, unless the AFL can sell viewing rights directly, but by then it may be too late.

I often read EB&W, especially if the pies are not doing well. It's good entertainment. Problem with them getting Lynch is that it would seriously improve them. At the minute their KPFs are Cox (already shown what he's got, won't get better) and Reid (good backman, not so good forward). And playing Moore down back is killing his confidence. With Lynch up forward, it would straighten them up like no-one's biz. As it is, where are their scores going to come from?

The AFL prefer soft targets, like minnow clubs without big memberships and without media support. The thought of 70,000 members arcing up, scathing media panels week in and week out, and Kennett breathing down his neck will give Gil a queasy feeling in his gut. Nothing to see here, folks. Libba the elder came right and said it. And Vlad shot the messenger. because the AFL are so committed to integration.. er, intergenerational .... oh, you know, something like that. Gil will probably drop the price of pies by 50c to distract everyone. HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!!!!