Demonland

The Eagles were competitive in the early going but the Demons were in a different league and cruised to an easy win. THE TEAMS WEST COAST EAGLES B T. Cole T. Barrass L. Duggan HB J. Jones S. Hurn J. Hunt C B. Hough E. Yeo A. Gaff HF C. West J. Darling G. Clark F N. Long O. Allen J. Waterman FOLL B. Williams R. Ginbey T. Kelly I/C J. Culley L. Edwards E. Hewett S. Petrevski-Seton SUB J. Rotham EMG L. Foley X. O'Neill J. Petruccelle IN G. Clark J. Culley L. Edwards B. Hough J. Rotham C. West E. Yeo OUT C. Chesser (knee) J. Cripps (broken ankle) J. McGovern (hamstring) L. Ryan (knee) D. Sheed (throat) L. Shuey (hamstring) A. Witherden (concussion) MELBOURNE B J. Lever S. May M. Hibberd HB T. Sparrow H. Petty J. McVee C A. Brayshaw C. Oliver L. Hunter HF E. Langdon B. Fritsch J. Bowey F C. Spargo J. van Rooyen A. Neal-Bullen FOLL B. Grundy J. Viney C. Petracca I/C K. Chandler T. McDonald K. Pickett T. Rivers SUB J. Jordon EMG L. Dunstan J. Melksham A. Tomlinson IN T. McDonald K. Pickett OUT B. Brown (back) J. Melksham (omitted)

Full disclosure it was absolutely an AI job but I did have fun tweaking it a bit to make it a little bit more convincing

To Whom it May Concern, Hail to thee, brave custodians of the esteemed Melbourne Football Club! I hope this letter finds you well in these darkest of times. I pen this missive with a heart both emboldened by loyalty and beleaguered by grievance, on behalf of the ardent souls at Demonland. Verily, our spirits soar with every valorous contest you wage upon the hallowed greens, yet, of late, a shadow most vexatious hath been cast upon our beloved game by the officiators thereof. It hath come to pass that week upon week, the sagacious umpires, guardians of fairness and decorum in our grand sport, seem to have misplaced their spectacles! For, with great consternation we observe a plethora of blatant penalties that go unnoticed when they would aid our noble Demons, whilst conversely, the meekest of infractions against our adversaries are met with swift retribution. 'Tis a plight most woeful, and we, the fervent congregation at Demonland, find ourselves at our wits’ end. Thus, we humbly beseech thee, o' gallant Melbourne Football Club, to wield thy considerable esteem and influence. Pray, convey our collective ire and perplexity to the high councils of the Australian Football League. Implore them, with all the grace and fervor thou can muster, to address this inequitable scourge that blights our matches. Mayhap a gentle reminder to these esteemed umpires to polish their ocular aids, or better yet, to procure an eyeglass of greater potency, might rectify this lamentable oversight. We place our trust in your capable hands, confident in the knowledge that ye shall champion our cause with the same vigor and passion with which you contest every ball. Together, let us strive for a future where the spirit of the game is preserved and all spectacles—both literal and figurative—are clear and unclouded. In closing, we offer our unwavering support for the Melbourne Football Club and remain, as ever, your devoted fans and ardent supporters, assembled under the proud banner of Demonland. Yours in sport and solidarity, Lord Andyronicus the Third Administrator of Demonland Enthusiast of Fair Play and Optical Clarity

Cheeky. Sneaking in at the exact time I close the thread. 😜

The Friday evening rush hour clash of two of the VFL’s 2024 minnows, Carlton and the Casey Demons was excruciatingly painful to watch, even if it was for the most part a close encounter. I suppose that since the game had to produce a result (a tie would have done the game some justice), the four points that went to Casey with the win, were fully justified because they went to the best team. In that respect, my opinion is based on the fact that the Blues were a lopsided combination that had a small number of players (two to be exact) propping up a mediocre rabble while the Demons were far more even, albeit most of them were very ordinary. Casey was superb in the first couple of minutes with young forward Matt Jefferson snagging the opening scores of the game before a the Blues, more particularly, their two stars took over the proceedings. At this stage the Demons appeared to be continuing where they left off from last week watching as their opponents reeled off the next five goals (the last kicked just after quarter time) to take a strong grip on the game With Casey trailing by four goals early in the second term and with no sign of last week’s hero, uncle Roy, things were desperate. A pulse was detected and the team rallied with a momentum breaking goal from Bailey Laurie who showed great commitment for most of the game. The early saviour this week however, was Koltyn Tholstrup, a young prospect who seemed to be channeling Christian Petracca with two goals in mid quarter including a beauty from a long way out. He finished with 17 disposals but his effort when the game seemed to be slipping away was significant. Suddenly, the Demons were back in the hunt. Skipper Mitch White who earlier was putting his heart and soul into the effort of keeping his team in the game was instrumental in the turn around and fittingly snagged the goal that put his team in front before half time. He finished with 20 important touches and was a tower of strength for the team all evening. As the people of Melbourne made their way home from town for the weekend, there was little to interest them at Ikon Park as the game became a dour contest with goals hard to come by. Though he was way off target and struggled with the distance of his kicking, Ben Brown was the second half hero with two of his team’s three goals for that period. His day ended with 13 disposals, six marks and a score line of 2.6 which was worth its weight in gold. Lachie Hunter continued to build on his claims for a return to the AFL after his calf issues. He started slowly but finished with equal team-high 24 possessions and took four marks. Adam Tomlinson also had 24 disposals to go with his six marks in yet another high disposal game from the consistent defender. Others to impress on an otherwise gloomy evening were Laurie with 22 disposals and five clearances while Casey listed Roan Steele played his best game of the season. It was very much touch and go in the end with the pendulum swinging Casey’s way with a series of points seeing them narrowly across the line. It was hardly an exciting finish given that most of the crowd were asking “is it over yet?” The team is back home next week against the Brisbane Lions who don’t appear to be as strong as they were last year when they made it as far as the preliminary final. CASEY DEMONS 1.3.9 6.7.43 8.9.57 9.15.69 CARLTON VFL 4.3.27 6.6.42 7.11.53 9.12.66 GOALS CASEY DEMONS B Brown Tholstrop 2 Fullarton Jefferson Laurie Neocleous CARLTON VFL Cahill McMahon 2 Carroll Lemmey Monahan O’Keefe White BEST CASEY DEMONS Hunter Laurie White Jefferson B Brown Tholstrup CARLTON VFL Binns Fantasia Marchbank Young Carroll McMahon Statistics Jed Adams 3 kicks 6 handballs 9 disposals 1 marks 3 tackles 36 dream team points Ben Brown 2 goals 6 behinds 11 kicks 2 handballs 13 disposals 6 marks 3 tackles 88 dream team points Kynan Brown 1 behind 12 kicks 9 handballs 21 disposals 3 marks 3 tackles 73 dream team points Paddy Cross 3 kicks 1 handballs 4 disposals 1 tackle 17 dream team points Tyler Edwards 8 kicks 8 handballs 16 disposals 3 marks 2 tackles 57 dream team points Tom Fullarton 1 goal 1 behinds 5 kicks 4 handballs 9 disposals 3 marks 7 hitouts 44 dream team points Max Gregory 4 kicks 5 handballs 9 disposals 4 marks 34 dream team points Marty Hore 13 kicks 1 handballs 14 disposals 5 marks 57 dream team points Lachie Hunter 17 kicks 7 handballs 24 disposals 4 marks 3 tackles 89 dream team points Matt Jefferson 1 goal 1 behind 5 kicks 4 handballs 9 disposals 2 marks 4 tackles 53 dream team points Bailey Laurie 1 goal 14 kicks 8 handballs 22 disposals 5 marks 3 tackles 88 dream team points Shane McAdam 1 behind 5 kicks 3 handballs 8 disposals 1 mark 6 tackles 48 dream team points Andy Moniz-Wakefield 13 kicks 6 handballs 19 disposals 5 marks 3 tackles 73 dream team points Ned Moodie 7 kicks 5 handballs 12 disposals 1 marks 36 dream team points Harvey Neocleous 1 goal 1 behind 3 kicks 3 handballs 6 disposals 3 tackles 34 dream team points Ollie Sestan 1 behind 9 kicks 4 handballs 13 disposals 1 marks 1 tackle 37 dream team points Roan Steele 12 kicks 7 handballs 19 disposals 1 mark 3 tackles 63 dream team points Koltyn Tholstrup 2 goals 1 behind 11 kicks 6 handballs 17 disposals 4 marks 70 dream team points Adam Tomlinson 16 kicks 8 handballs 24 disposals 6 marks 1 tackle 82 dream team points Will Verrall 8 kicks 5 handballs 13 disposals 1 mark 1 tackle 11 hitouts 53 dream team points Mitch White 1 goal 15 kicks 5 handballs 20 disposals 3 tackles 75 dream team points Kai Windsor 4 kicks 2 handballs 6 disposals 1 mark 1 tackle 20!dream team points Taj Woewodin 6 kicks 5 handballs 11 disposals 3 marks 2 tackles 43 dream team points

LEADERBOARD AFTER ROUND 9 102. Max Gawn 78. Christian Petracca 66. Steven May 41. Alex Neal-Bullen 40. Jake Lever 33. Jack Viney 28. Clayton Oliver 21. Bayley Fritsch Trent Rivers 20. Ed Langdon 15. Judd McVee 14. Kade Chandler 12. Tom McDonald Christian Salem Tom Sparrow 11. Blake Howes Daniel Turner 10. Jack Billings Kysaiah Pickett 5. Caleb Windsor 2. Harry Petty Adam Tomlinson 1. Jake Bowey

I'm going to cut off the questions here. See you tonight at 8:30pm Listen & Chat LIVE: https://demonland.com/podcast Call: 03 9016 3666 Skype: Demonland31

OVER YET? by KC from Casey The Friday evening rush hour clash of two of the VFL’s 2024 minnows, Carlton and the Casey Demons was excruciatingly painful to watch, even if it was for the most part a close encounter. I suppose that since the game had to produce a result (a tie would have done the game some justice), the four points that went to Casey with the win, were fully justified because they went to the best team. In that respect, my opinion is based on the fact that the Blues were a lopsided combination that had a small number of players (two to be exact) propping up a mediocre rabble while the Demons were far more even, albeit most of them were very ordinary. Casey was superb in the first couple of minutes with young forward Matt Jefferson snagging the opening scores of the game before a the Blues, more particularly, their two stars took over the proceedings. At this stage the Demons appeared to be continuing where they left off from last week watching as their opponents reeled off the next five goals (the last kicked just after quarter time) to take a strong grip on the game With Casey trailing by four goals early in the second term and with no sign of last week’s hero, uncle Roy, things were desperate. A pulse was detected and the team rallied with a momentum breaking goal from Bailey Laurie who showed great commitment for most of the game. The early saviour this week however, was Koltyn Tholstrup, a young prospect who seemed to be channeling Christian Petracca with two goals in mid quarter including a beauty from a long way out. He finished with 17 disposals but his effort when the game seemed to be slipping away was significant. Suddenly, the Demons were back in the hunt. Skipper Mitch White who earlier was putting his heart and soul into the effort of keeping his team in the game was instrumental in the turn around and fittingly snagged the goal that put his team in front before half time. He finished with 20 important touches and was a tower of strength for the team all evening. As the people of Melbourne made their way home from town for the weekend, there was little to interest them at Ikon Park as the game became a dour contest with goals hard to come by. Though he was way off target and struggled with the distance of his kicking, Ben Brown was the second half hero with two of his team’s three goals for that period. His day ended with 13 disposals, six marks and a score line of 2.6 which was worth its weight in gold. Lachie Hunter continued to build on his claims for a return to the AFL after his calf issues. He started slowly but finished with equal team-high 24 possessions and took four marks. Adam Tomlinson also had 24 disposals to go with his six marks in yet another high disposal game from the consistent defender. Others to impress on an otherwise gloomy evening were Laurie with 22 disposals and five clearances while Casey listed Roan Steele played his best game of the season. It was very much touch and go in the end with the pendulum swinging Casey’s way with a series of points seeing them narrowly across the line. It was hardly an exciting finish given that most of the crowd were asking “is it over yet?” The team is back home next week against the Brisbane Lions who don’t appear to be as strong as they were last year when they made it as far as the preliminary final. CASEY DEMONS 1.3.9 6.7.43 8.9.57 9.15.69 CARLTON VFL 4.3.27 6.6.42 7.11.53 9.12.66 GOALS CASEY DEMONS B Brown Tholstrop 2 Fullarton Jefferson Laurie Neocleous CARLTON VFL Cahill McMahon 2 Carroll Lemmey Monahan O’Keefe White BEST CASEY DEMONS Hunter Laurie White Hunter Jefferson B Brown Tholstrup CARLTON VFL Binns Fantasia Marchbank Young Carroll McMahon Statistics Jed Adams 3 kicks 6 handballs 9 disposals 1 marks 3 tackles 36 dream team points Ben Brown 2 goals 6 behinds 11 kicks 2 handballs 13 disposals 6 marks 3 tackles 88 dream team points Kynan Brown 1 behind 12 kicks 9 handballs 21 disposals 3 marks 3 tackles 73 dream team points Paddy Cross 3 kicks 1 handballs 4 disposals 1 tackle 17 dream team points Tyler Edwards 8 kicks 8 handballs 16 disposals 3 marks 2 tackles 57 dream team points Tom Fullarton 1 goal 1 behinds 5 kicks 4 handballs 9 disposals 3 marks 7 hitouts 44 dream team points Max Gregory 4 kicks 5 handballs 9 disposals 4 marks 34 dream team points Marty Hore 13 kicks 1 handballs 14 disposals 5 marks 57 dream team points Lachie Hunter 17 kicks 7 handballs 24 disposals 4 marks 3 tackles 89 dream team points Matt Jefferson 1 goal 1 behind 5 kicks 4 handballs 9 disposals 2 marks 4 tackles 53 dream team points Bailey Laurie 1 goal 14 kicks 8 handballs 22 disposals 5 marks 3 tackles 88 dream team points Shane McAdam 1 behind 5 kicks 3 handballs 8 disposals 1 mark 6 tackles 48 dream team points Andy Moniz-Wakefield 13 kicks 6 handballs 19 disposals 5 marks 3 tackles 73 dream team points Ned Moodie 7 kicks 5 handballs 12 disposals 1 marks 36 dream team points Harvey Neocleous 1 goal 1 behind 3 kicks 3 handballs 6 disposals 3 tackles 34 dream team points Ollie Sestan 1 behind 9 kicks 4 handballs 13 disposals 1 marks 1 tackle 37 dream team points Roan Steele 12 kicks 7 handballs 19 disposals 1 mark 3 tackles 63 dream team points Koltyn Tholstrup 2 goals 1 behind 11 kicks 6 handballs 17 disposals 4 marks 70 dream team points Adam Tomlinson 16 kicks 8 handballs 24 disposals 6 marks 1 tackle 82 dream team points Will Verrall 8 kicks 5 handballs 13 disposals 1 mark 1 tackle 11 hitouts 53 dream team points Mitch White 1 goal 15 kicks 5 handballs 20 disposals 3 tackles 75 dream team points Kai Windsor 4 kicks 2 handballs 6 disposals 1 mark 1 tackle 20!dream team points Taj Woewodin 6 kicks 5 handballs 11 disposals 3 marks 2 tackles 43 dream team points

More injuries at Tigerland

If at 1/4 time you had said that we would still be forth at the end of the round I would have told you that you were dreaming.

Our game is one where the result is often decided by centimetres; the touch of a fingernail, a split-second decision made by a player or official, the angle of vision or the random movement of an oblong ball in flight or in its bounce and trajectory. There is one habit that Melbourne seems to have developed of late in its games against Carlton which is that the Demons keep finding themselves on the wrong end of the stick in terms of the fine line in close games at times when centimetres make the difference. Ironically, the match was lost yesterday when they allowed the Blues to avoid a close contest scenario until the very end when it was just about too late. After Ed Langdon failed to score with the first shot at goal for the game, Carlton added five goals to nothing for the remainder of the opening stanza, leaving the gap of a bridge that was literally less than a centimetre too far for a Melbourne victory. Supporters of the Bluebaggers were pinching themselves with delight as their team piled on the goals, many of them scored by Demon errors such as the simple failure to cover spaces from which the opposition could score easily. The failure to apply sufficient pressure was palpable. Melbourne had equal opportunities, even early to hit the scoreboard. They went into attack often enough but the entry was poor, the forwards were sluggish and the Carlton defence stood firm against a forward line in disarray. Was it the curse of the five day break - or something else? It took until ten minutes into the second quarter when they were trailing by six goals to nothing, for Melbourne to register its first score for the night through the man who was it’s “almost” hero in Christian Petracca who had been sent forward to enable a change in the mix. It was one change that worked although it also meant that for a large part of the game, the Carlton midfield, led by Cripps and Walsh had the upper hand. When you have that upper hand - in this case thanks to a head start and efficiency in front of the big sticks, then you force the other side into pushing it uphill in an arm wrestle, particularly when the rain comes down making a comeback even more difficult. Petracca persisted, Alex Neal-Bullen worked his butt off, Steven May was a tower of strength in defence but most of the side battled and, in the final analysis they just failed to reel in a deficit which, at one stage in the third quarter was as substantial as 38 points. But they never gave up. In the final term, they dug deep and their superior fitness, notwithstanding the shorter break between games, saw them fall short by a single point, making it the third time in as many games against Carlton that Melbourne lost a game, despite having more scoring shots. After the game, coach Simon Goodwin reflected: "We gave a really good side a 6-goal start but our responsibility as a footy club is to rock up and compete in a way that keeps you in the game." All of that is true. The team can take some solace from the fact that they refused to lie down and supporters should take that away from the game instead of lamenting about the general run of the umpiring, dodgy score reviews, a deliberate out of bounds not picked up, a late shot that hit the behind post and even the Petracca surge forward that resulted in him being brought down when a few centimetres could have made all the difference and allowed one last move forward to at least tie the score (important in an 8-point game). None of those things matter when you concede so much in the opening third part of a game against a team that’s more effective in front of the goals. What does matter is that you fight it out to the last second and the very last centimetre. MELBOURNE 0.0.0 3.1.19 7.6.48 11.10.76 CARLTON 5.0.30 8.2.50 11.4.70 12.5.77 GOALS MELBOURNE Petracca 5 Fritsch Gawn Pickett Turner van Rooyen Windsor CARLTON Owies 3 Curnow 2 Cripps De Koning Hewett McKay Martin Pittonet Walsh BEST MELBOURNE Petracca May Neal-Bullen Viney Gawn Langdon CARLTON Cripps Walsh Weitering Kennedy O Hollands Curnow REPORTS MELBOURNE Nil CARLTON Nil INJURIES MELBOURNE Nil CARLTON Pittonet (finger) Cerra (hamstring) SUBSTITUTIONS MELBOURNE Taj Woewodin (replaced Bowey in the fourth quarter) CARLTON George Hewett (replaced Cerra in the third quarter) UMPIRES Matt Stevic Curtis Deboy Nathan Williamson Jacob Mollison CROWD 58,472 at the MCG

I hate expected score but I appreciate that it makes others feel better.

The Demons have a 10 day break before they head on the road to Perth to take on the West Coast Eagles at Optus Stadium on Sunday. Who comes in and who goes out?

The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Sunday, 12th May @ 8:30pm. Join George, Binman & I as we analyse the Demons loss at the MCG against the Blues in the Round 09. You questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show. If you would like to leave us a voicemail please call 03 9016 3666 and don't worry no body answers so you don't have to talk to a human. Listen & Chat LIVE: https://demonland.com/podcast Call: 03 9016 3666 Skype: Demonland31

Last week Captain Max Gawn consolidated his lead over reigning champion Christian Petracca in the Demonland Player of the Year Award. Steven May, Jake Lever, Jack Viney & Clayton Oliver make up the Top 5. Your votes for the loss against the Blues. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

The Demons were blown out of the water in the first quarter and clawed their way back into the contest but it was a case of too little too late as they lost another close one to Carlton losing by 1 point at the MCG.