Demonland

by The Oracle Who would have thought when the Demons and the Dockers met in the AFL second semi final at Subiaco last early spring that both clubs would be struggling at 0-3 when they were next due to meet each other on the football field? Who would have thought that Fremantle would come in to their Round 4 with so many distractions and a week of controversy over the sledging of a player behind them? Who would have thought the AFL Tribunal would have gone blind and insane at the same time and turned justice AFL style into such a mockery? No one. Not even me and I'm the only person on this side of the Nullarbor Plain who possesses one slightly damaged and one barely operative crystal ball, at least a dozen packs of tarot cards and a mint condition volume of Nostradamus! Nor could I believe it when I read that the Demons were relying on Fremantle's week of tension packed high drama and media scrutiny to get them up against those nice guys from the West. That is exactly what Demon coach Neale Daniher is apparently hanging his hat on according to all reports I'm reading. Speaking to melbournefc.com.au, the coach admitted "he hopes Fremantle have been distracted by the Des Headland sledging saga coming into their AFL clash at the MCG on Sunday." After all, in contrast to the Dockers' torrid week over the Headland-Adam Selwood controversy and its tribunal sequel, Melbourne has had no distractions whatever, has it? "What's happened at the tribunal hasn't been the focus of what we're about this week. "It's about trying to get our game up." Right, but Neale must have been ignoring the constant sledging that his own club has been getting over the past few weeks from the football world and in particular from fans of his own team. Certainly, the Demons are ravaged by injury but their selection table tactics and on ground strategies have puzzled all and sundry – as has the loss of form of what remains of its core of better players and team leaders. The Demons have their backs to the wall this week and they do have Byron Pickett back after a stint with the weight watchers. But, if you pull down the façade of the media spin and the talk back hoo ha, the fact remains that the week's events overall have had one very positive effect on the Dockers’ campaign to win their first game of the season. They delivered two valuable players back from possible suspension and that's what mattered most to them in the first place as far as I'm concerned. Tough man Josh Carr is available to punch the lights out of some more opponents if that's what he wants to do and Headland is free to display that tattoo of his gorgeous six-year-old daughter to all and sundry as he runs around the great oval tomorrow. In terms of what happens out there on the football field, the distractions have therefore all been worthwhile. On the other hand Melbourne remains bereft of its heart and soul and I doubt whether the goody two shoes at the club, would try to get under the opponents' skins to get an edge on them anyway. They're just too busy trying to "get their games up", whatever that means. THE GAME: Melbourne v. Fremantle at the MCG - 22 April 2007 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD: Overall: Melbourne 10 wins Fremantle 10 wins At the G: Melbourne 4 wins Fremantle 3 wins Since 2000: Melbourne 5 wins Fremantle 6 wins The Coaches: Daniher 2 wins Connolly 6 wins MEDIA: TV Channel 7 (delayed telecast commencing at 3.00pm) RADIO: 3AW MMM THE BETTING: Melbourne to win $2.70 Fremantle to win $1.43 LAST TIME THEY MET: Fremantle 14.18.102 defeated Melbourne 11.8.74 at Subiaco Second Semi Final, 2006. Melbourne started well enough on a balmy night in Perth but wilted under the pressure and the humidity to a dominant Docker combination led by giant ruckman Aaron Sandilands and a winning midfield headed by Peter Bell and Josh Carr. Heath Black was the icing on the cake for Freo while for the Demons, Brad Miller returned to form after an awful season but was virtually a lone hand in a tired forward line. THE TEAMS: MELBOURNE: Backs: Clint Bizzell Nathan Carroll Matthew Whelan Half backs: Daniel Ward Paul Wheatley Daniel Bell Centreline: Brent Moloney James McDonald Brad Green Half forwards: Cameron Bruce Brad Miller Byron Pickett Forwards: Simon Godfrey Mark Jamar Aaron Davey Followers: Jeff White Nathan Jones Travis Johnstone Interchange: Nathan Brown Lynden Dunn Paul Johnson Adem Yze Emergencies: Matthew Bate Ricky Petterd Colin Syvlia In: Clint Bizzell Lynden Dunn Byron Pickett Out: Matthew Bate Ben Holland Ryan Ferguson FREMANTLE Backs: Shane Parker Luke McPharlin Roger Hayden Halfbacks: David Mundy Antoni Grover Steven Dodd Centreline: Shaun McManus Paul Hasleby Heath Black Half forwards: Des Headland Matthew Pavlich Ryan Crowley Forwards: Dean Solomon Chris Tarrant Peter Bell Followers: Aaron Sandilands Matthew Carr Josh Carr Interchange: Troy Cook Daniel Gilmore James Walker Luke Webster Emergencies: Adam Campbell Paul Duffield Robert Warnock In Heath Black Luke Webster Out: Justin Longmuir (knee) Andrew Browne (hamstring) THE GAME I swear that it was only a month ago that I read at least one pre season "expert prediction" that Melbourne and Fremantle would be playing off for this year's AFL premiership. How has it happened that two teams, so highly fancied and well feted, could find themselves at a point where they are staring down the barrel of a 0-4 start to the season – almost the point of no return for the loser? The Dockers have at least had their opportunities. They were in with a chance to win each of the two opening games and faltered at the end and then they gave the reigning premiers a run for their money before the squeeze was put on in the final quarter and a bit last week. Besides, they had a few players running around Subiaco with other things on their mind. We know the score with Melbourne; the injuries to key players David Neitz, Russell Robertson, Brock McLean and Jared Rivers haven't helped but it's been the appalling form of the players who took the field against St. Kilda, Hawthorn and Geelong that has Demon fans in despair and left with the weekly ritual of hoping that the selectors could pluck something out a hat to find the right mix. The key for the Demons is that they need the players who have been down and who are capable of so much better to regain their confidence, poise and form. We have seen nothing from Aaron Davey, Travis Johnstone and Adem Yze so far this season. Perhaps the return of Byron Pickett as the protector is just what is needed. Or perhaps we're just all clutching at straws and the loss of so many first pick players is simply all too much? One exercise I tried this week was to work out where Melbourne might find the necessary drive to overcome the Dockers. I came up with very little but there is one area where Fremantle, which is also winless and therefore will approach the game with some trepidation, might falter. That single answer is the home ground advantage that should be strongly on the side of the Demons this week. The Dockers lost to the Bombers in Melbourne in Round 1 and let's not forget how they went when the teams last met at the MCG. Melbourne demolished them in round 7 last year to the tune of 59 points. Against that is the fact that the Demons are sitting at 0-3 at this venure at this stage of proceedings. There are other things for Melbourne to be worried about. Firstly, there's the 16cm differential in height between Freo's ruckman Aaron Sandilands and Melbourne's Jeff White. The former all Australian Demon ruckman was positively embarrassed at their two meetings last year at Subiaco when the Docker giant killed him in the ruck and around the ground. It was from this very position that the Docker domination found its expression and continued through the midfield and into its attack. The attack is where the Dockers are likely to taste the icing on the cake again this time around. Matthew Pavlich was relatively quiet last week but that was against an All-Australian full back in Darren Glass. Who does Melbourne pit against him? And even if Nathan Carroll or someone else proves up to the task, who then stops Chris Tarrant and what's to be done to quell Luke McPharlin if Chris Connolly sends him up forward as he did a couple of years ago? And I haven't started thinking about where Melbourne's goals are going to come from. Last week, the Dees could only manage eight goals in a game against a Cats when the coach, by his own admission, stated that the team spent the first half in attacking mode. If they try to shut the game down, will a single figure goal tally be enough to win the four points? I doubt it and I'm therefore tipping Fremantle by 35 points. Following that, we will see another week of sledging from frustrated and irate Demon fans.

THE EDGE OF SLEDGE by The Oracle Who would have thought when the Demons and the Dockers met in the AFL second semi final at Subiaco last early spring that both clubs would be struggling at 0-3 when they were next due to meet each other on the football field? Who would have thought that Fremantle would come in to their Round 4 with so many distractions and a week of controversy over the sledging of a player behind them? Who would have thought the AFL Tribunal would have gone blind and insane at the same time and turned justice AFL style into such a mockery? No one. Not even me and I'm the only person on this side of the Nullarbor Plain who possesses one slightly damaged and one barely operative crystal ball, at least a dozen packs of tarot cards and a mint condition volume of Nostradamus! Nor could I believe it when I read that the Demons were relying on Fremantle's week of tension packed high drama and media scrutiny to get them up against those nice guys from the West. That is exactly what Demon coach Neale Daniher is apparently hanging his hat on according to all reports I'm reading. Speaking to melbournefc.com.au, the coach admitted "he hopes Fremantle have been distracted by the Des Headland sledging saga coming into their AFL clash at the MCG on Sunday." After all, in contrast to the Dockers' torrid week over the Headland-Adam Selwood controversy and its tribunal sequel, Melbourne has had no distractions whatever, has it? "What's happened at the tribunal hasn't been the focus of what we're about this week. "It's about trying to get our game up." Right, but Neale must have been ignoring the constant sledging that his own club has been getting over the past few weeks from the football world and in particular from fans of his own team. Certainly, the Demons are ravaged by injury but their selection table tactics and on ground strategies have puzzled all and sundry – as has the loss of form of what remains of its core of better players and team leaders. The Demons have their backs to the wall this week and they do have Byron Pickett back after a stint with the weight watchers. But, if you pull down the façade of the media spin and the talk back hoo ha, the fact remains that the week's events overall have had one very positive effect on the Dockers’ campaign to win their first game of the season. They delivered two valuable players back from possible suspension and that's what mattered most to them in the first place as far as I'm concerned. Tough man Josh Carr is available to punch the lights out of some more opponents if that's what he wants to do and Headland is free to display that tattoo of his gorgeous six-year-old daughter to all and sundry as he runs around the great oval tomorrow. In terms of what happens out there on the football field, the distractions have therefore all been worthwhile. On the other hand Melbourne remains bereft of its heart and soul and I doubt whether the goody two shoes at the club, would try to get under the opponents' skins to get an edge on them anyway. They're just too busy trying to "get their games up", whatever that means. THE GAME: Melbourne v. Fremantle at the MCG - 22 April 2007 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD: Overall: Melbourne 10 wins Fremantle 10 wins At the G: Melbourne 4 wins Fremantle 3 wins Since 2000: Melbourne 5 wins Fremantle 6 wins The Coaches: Daniher 2 wins Connolly 6 wins MEDIA: TV Channel 7 (delayed telecast commencing at 3.00pm) RADIO: 3AW MMM THE BETTING: Melbourne to win $2.70 Fremantle to win $1.43 LAST TIME THEY MET: Fremantle 14.18.102 defeated Melbourne 11.8.74 at Subiaco Second Semi Final, 2006. Melbourne started well enough on a balmy night in Perth but wilted under the pressure and the humidity to a dominant Docker combination led by giant ruckman Aaron Sandilands and a winning midfield headed by Peter Bell and Josh Carr. Heath Black was the icing on the cake for Freo while for the Demons, Brad Miller returned to form after an awful season but was virtually a lone hand in a tired forward line. THE TEAMS: MELBOURNE: Backs: Clint Bizzell Nathan Carroll Matthew Whelan Half backs: Daniel Ward Paul Wheatley Daniel Bell Centreline: Brent Moloney James McDonald Brad Green Half forwards: Cameron Bruce Brad Miller Byron Pickett Forwards: Simon Godfrey Mark Jamar Aaron Davey Followers: Jeff White Nathan Jones Travis Johnstone Interchange: Nathan Brown Lynden Dunn Paul Johnson Adem Yze Emergencies: Matthew Bate Ricky Petterd Colin Syvlia In: Clint Bizzell Lynden Dunn Byron Pickett Out: Matthew Bate Ben Holland Ryan Ferguson FREMANTLE Backs: Shane Parker Luke McPharlin Roger Hayden Halfbacks: David Mundy Antoni Grover Steven Dodd Centreline: Shaun McManus Paul Hasleby Heath Black Half forwards: Des Headland Matthew Pavlich Ryan Crowley Forwards: Dean Solomon Chris Tarrant Peter Bell Followers: Aaron Sandilands Matthew Carr Josh Carr Interchange: Troy Cook Daniel Gilmore James Walker Luke Webster Emergencies: Adam Campbell Paul Duffield Robert Warnock In Heath Black Luke Webster Out: Justin Longmuir (knee) Andrew Browne (hamstring) THE GAME I swear that it was only a month ago that I read at least one pre season "expert prediction" that Melbourne and Fremantle would be playing off for this year's AFL premiership. How has it happened that two teams, so highly fancied and well feted, could find themselves at a point where they are staring down the barrel of a 0-4 start to the season – almost the point of no return for the loser? The Dockers have at least had their opportunities. They were in with a chance to win each of the two opening games and faltered at the end and then they gave the reigning premiers a run for their money before the squeeze was put on in the final quarter and a bit last week. Besides, they had a few players running around Subiaco with other things on their mind. We know the score with Melbourne; the injuries to key players David Neitz, Russell Robertson, Brock McLean and Jared Rivers haven't helped but it's been the appalling form of the players who took the field against St. Kilda, Hawthorn and Geelong that has Demon fans in despair and left with the weekly ritual of hoping that the selectors could pluck something out a hat to find the right mix. The key for the Demons is that they need the players who have been down and who are capable of so much better to regain their confidence, poise and form. We have seen nothing from Aaron Davey, Travis Johnstone and Adem Yze so far this season. Perhaps the return of Byron Pickett as the protector is just what is needed. Or perhaps we're just all clutching at straws and the loss of so many first pick players is simply all too much? One exercise I tried this week was to work out where Melbourne might find the necessary drive to overcome the Dockers. I came up with very little but there is one area where Fremantle, which is also winless and therefore will approach the game with some trepidation, might falter. That single answer is the home ground advantage that should be strongly on the side of the Demons this week. The Dockers lost to the Bombers in Melbourne in Round 1 and let's not forget how they went when the teams last met at the MCG. Melbourne demolished them in round 7 last year to the tune of 59 points. Against that is the fact that the Demons are sitting at 0-3 at this venure at this stage of proceedings. There are other things for Melbourne to be worried about. Firstly, there's the 16cm differential in height between Freo's ruckman Aaron Sandilands and Melbourne's Jeff White. The former all Australian Demon ruckman was positively embarrassed at their two meetings last year at Subiaco when the Docker giant killed him in the ruck and around the ground. It was from this very position that the Docker domination found its expression and continued through the midfield and into its attack. The attack is where the Dockers are likely to taste the icing on the cake again this time around. Matthew Pavlich was relatively quiet last week but that was against an All-Australian full back in Darren Glass. Who does Melbourne pit against him? And even if Nathan Carroll or someone else proves up to the task, who then stops Chris Tarrant and what's to be done to quell Luke McPharlin if Chris Connolly sends him up forward as he did a couple of years ago? And I haven't started thinking about where Melbourne's goals are going to come from. Last week, the Dees could only manage eight goals in a game against a Cats when the coach, by his own admission, stated that the team spent the first half in attacking mode. If they try to shut the game down, will a single figure goal tally be enough to win the four points? I doubt it and I'm therefore tipping Fremantle by 35 points. Following that, we will see another week of sledging from frustrated and irate Demon fans.

Try Tomi Johnston, son of Wayne "The Dominator" Johnston.

There have been a few changes at the top with only one winning selection separating the top 11 tipsters. Don't forget to put your tips in before bouncedown tonight. I would think it will be necessary to put your tip in for the Anzac Day clash a little earlier than the normal deadline so don't forget about that one as well. 1. (3) 15 bl3281 1. (3) 15 deanox 1. (3) 15 Demonland 1. (3) 15 Jackieboy_0 5. (11) 14 canberrademon(herb) 5. (11) 14 Clyde_Cabbie 5. (3) 14 Dees_Fan16 5. (3) 14 DeMoNiC 5. (3) 14 great_gatsby 5. (1) 14 TimDees 5. (11) 14 Whispering_Jack 12. (1) 13 demon_fanatic 12. (3) 13 Kieranbj 12. (11) 13 petejh2000 12. (11) 13 Pinball_Wizard 16. (11) 12 achirnside 16. (11) 12 BigKev Demon 16. (11) 12 Dappadan 16. (22) 12 demon_davey 16. (31) 12 Fingers Power 16. (22) 12 Go_Ds 16. (11) 12 KrazyJay 16. (11) 12 paliosiana 16. (11) 12 slamevil 25. (22) 11 dee'viator 25. (22) 11 deesthisyear 25. (22) 11 Rivers Run Red 25. (22) 11 Scoop Junior 25. (22) 11 snarler_0 30. (34) 10 frangas 31. (37) 9 Alpha_33 31. (22) 9 Goodvibes 33. (34) 8 jaded24 33. (22) 8 melon22 35. (31) 7 No Cigar 36. (31) 6 rusty_corner 37. (34) 5 rusty_kingswood 38. (37) 4 CarnTheDees

WIN AFTER A STRUGGLE by Ice Station Zebra Sandringham has never found the going easy at Werribee's Bartercard Oval and Sunday's game against the Tigers was no exception. At half time the Zebras were struggling but with Nick Sautner doing the job at full forward and Shane Valenti on top in the midfield, they rose to the occasion and held off a dogged Werribee combination to prevail by 12 points and claim top spot on the ladder. The injury crisis at Melbourne left the defending premier with a weaker team on paper but it gave the Zebras an opportunity to show off the playing depth of their list. Into the side came Peter McGettigan and newcomer Stefan Martin who impressed playing a secondary role in the ruck to Demon rookie Shane Neaves. Sandy also lost Peter Summers but he was replaced by the experienced Andy Biddlecombe. Sandy opened with the advantage of two or three goal breeze but a combination of errant disposal and a poor choice of options had them lucky to be in front by five points at the first break. The story was no different in the second quarter and Werribee held a six point lead at half time. Sandy was being well served by Sautner who had three goals to the main break despite some close attention from the Tiger defence. Valenti, in the absence of Summers, was providing a good contest around the stoppages and, as always, Chris Lamb very steady down back. Sandringham's third quarter was a little more impressive with the team's better use of the wind well to kick four goals to two to snatch back the lead at three quarter time thanks to some inaccurate kicking for goal by Werribee. The job was still ahead of the team with just a three point lead and kicking into a gusty breeze but Sandy responded well to Mark Williams' call for calm approach by kicking five straight (two from Sautner) of the first six goals to hold on as the Tigers kicked two late goals to close. One of the few highlights of the day was a brilliant effort from David Gallagher to slip through traffic and kick a sealing goal. After the game, the coach was quoted as follows, "We won the game between the 10 and 20-minute marks in the last quarter, our best quarter. "Our experienced players stood up when we needed them. "We have high expectations of our young fellows and I was disappointed in some of their games today." Sandy's best were Valenti who although small in stature is progressing in leaps and bounds at the club, Clint Bizzell for his steadiness at half back and Rod Crowe at centre half forward. Both Johnston boys impressed again while Chris Johnson was solid and Ricky Petterd showed that he has a future in the game. Peter McGettigan and newcomer Stefan Martin who impressed playing a secondary role in the ruck to Demon rookie Shane Neaves. The Zebras are away again this Sunday when they take on the Bendigo Bombers. Supporters should note the new venue for the game is Windy Hill at Essendon. Seniors at 2.00pm, Reserves at 11.20am. RESULTS Sandringham 5.3.33 7.7.49 11.10.76 16.10.106 Werribee 4.3.27 8.7.55 10.13.73 13.16.94 Goal Kickers: Sandringham: Sautner 6 Dunn 2 Gallagher Liddell Pickett Newton Johnston Bizzell McGettigan Valenti Werribee: Baird 2 Robbins 2 Castello 2 Harbrow 2 Williams Young McDougall Skipper Robinson Best: Sandringham: Valenti Bizzell Crowe Petterd Gallagher Johnson Werribee: Pask Gleeson Skipper Barham Williams Furfaro YOUNG ZEBRAS ON TOP Sandringham's reserves broke the ice with a solid 33 point victory over Werribee. The victory was set up by a six goal second quarter. Stalwart Tom Paterakis led the way while Phil Zarra from the Dragons was among the goals again with three. Kenton Hall, another experienced reserves player, was in fine forward Daniel Gribbin showed he is improving rapidly. The win puts the Zebras in fourth place on the ladder. RESULTS Sandringham 2.0.12 8.5.53 11.11.77 14.16.100 Werribee 3.2.20 6.2.38 10.6.66 10.7.67 Goal Kickers: Sandringham: Zarra 3 Gileno Neville Paterakis 2 Collyer Dean Dunne Hughes Paule Werribee: Batchelor Kenelley Penny Twomey 2 Rockefeller Thompson Best: Sandringham: Paterakis Gribbin Hall Neville Dean Curcio Werribee: Rockefeller Chisholm Hahn Mentha Penny Batchelor

by Ice Station Zebra Sandringham has never found the going easy at Werribee's Bartercard Oval and Sunday's game against the Tigers was no exception. At half time the Zebras were struggling but with Nick Sautner doing the job at full forward and Shane Valenti on top in the midfield, they rose to the occasion and held off a dogged Werribee combination to prevail by 12 points and claim top spot on the ladder. The injury crisis at Melbourne left the defending premier with a weaker team on paper but it gave the Zebras an opportunity to show off the playing depth of their list. Into the side came Peter McGettigan and newcomer Stefan Martin who impressed playing a secondary role in the ruck to Demon rookie Shane Neaves. Sandy also lost Peter Summers but he was replaced by the experienced Andy Biddlecombe. Sandy opened with the advantage of two or three goal breeze but a combination of errant disposal and a poor choice of options had them lucky to be in front by five points at the first break. The story was no different in the second quarter and Werribee held a six point lead at half time. Sandy was being well served by Sautner who had three goals to the main break despite some close attention from the Tiger defence. Valenti, in the absence of Summers, was providing a good contest around the stoppages and, as always, Chris Lamb very steady down back. Sandringham's third quarter was a little more impressive with the team's better use of the wind well to kick four goals to two to snatch back the lead at three quarter time thanks to some inaccurate kicking for goal by Werribee. The job was still ahead of the team with just a three point lead and kicking into a gusty breeze but Sandy responded well to Mark Williams' call for calm approach by kicking five straight (two from Sautner) of the first six goals to hold on as the Tigers kicked two late goals to close. One of the few highlights of the day was a brilliant effort from David Gallagher to slip through traffic and kick a sealing goal. After the game, the coach was quoted as follows, "We won the game between the 10 and 20-minute marks in the last quarter, our best quarter. "Our experienced players stood up when we needed them. "We have high expectations of our young fellows and I was disappointed in some of their games today." Sandy's best were Valenti who although small in stature is progressing in leaps and bounds at the club, Clint Bizzell for his steadiness at half back and Rod Crowe at centre half forward. Both Johnston boys impressed again while Chris Johnson was solid and Ricky Petterd showed that he has a future in the game. Peter McGettigan and newcomer Stefan Martin who impressed playing a secondary role in the ruck to Demon rookie Shane Neaves. The Zebras are away again this Sunday when they take on the Bendigo Bombers. Supporters should note the new venue for the game is Windy Hill at Essendon. Seniors at 2.00pm, Reserves at 11.20am. RESULTS Sandringham 5.3.33 7.7.49 11.10.76 16.10.106 Werribee 4.3.27 8.7.55 10.13.73 13.16.94 Goal Kickers: Sandringham: Sautner 6 Dunn 2 Gallagher Liddell Pickett Newton Johnston Bizzell McGettigan Valenti Werribee: Baird 2 Robbins 2 Castello 2 Harbrow 2 Williams Young McDougall Skipper Robinson Best: Sandringham: Valenti Bizzell Crowe Petterd Gallagher Johnson Werribee: Pask Gleeson Skipper Barham Williams Furfaro YOUNG ZEBRAS ON TOP Sandringham's reserves broke the ice with a solid 33 point victory over Werribee. The victory was set up by a six goal second quarter. Stalwart Tom Paterakis led the way while Phil Zarra from the Dragons was among the goals again with three. Kenton Hall, another experienced reserves player, was in fine forward Daniel Gribbin showed he is improving rapidly. The win puts the Zebras in fourth place on the ladder. RESULTS Sandringham 2.0.12 8.5.53 11.11.77 14.16.100 Werribee 3.2.20 6.2.38 10.6.66 10.7.67 Goal Kickers: Sandringham: Zarra 3 Gileno Neville Paterakis 2 Collyer Dean Dunne Hughes Paule Werribee: Batchelor Kenelley Penny Twomey 2 Rockefeller Thompson Best: Sandringham: Paterakis Gribbin Hall Neville Dean Curcio Werribee: Rockefeller Chisholm Hahn Mentha Penny Batchelor

by Whispering Jack On Saturday I watched a team of amateur footballers who wore red and blue and who made a better fist of playing a team game than the one that wore the same colours on Sunday at the MCG. The boys from Old Brighton backed each other up constantly; they moved the ball mainly forward and with purpose and they generally kicked and handballed to running targets, which they hit cleanly. The opposition played well too! Granted, when you're in a professional competition like the AFL the pressure is far greater than it is in the Ammos but I believe it's a real pity that only Cameron Bruce was in attendance (watching a mate) at this practice match between the Brighton Grammarians and Ajax because the rest of the Demons could have learned some lessons in application from these guys who (as far as I know) don't get paid for their efforts in a competition where the salary cap is zero. And zero is what I would have paid about 16 or 17 of the Melbourne players for their efforts against Geelong yesterday. Certainly, the team is undermanned at the moment. It's hard to produce the goods when your two best forwards, your hardest and most talented midfielder, your best key defender and a few other handy players are sitting in the stands watching and your toughest nut is half way down Princes Highway trying to run in to some fitness at Werribee but there were enough regulars out there to give the supporters a run for their money. And other clubs seem to get over their injury woes without becoming woeful! Indeed, I heard a caller on talk back radio make the statement that this was Melbourne's most woeful performance ever. The poor bloke must have a memory problems because the Demons were simply reverting back to the abysmal form of mid to late 2005 when they went through that awful period of injuries and constant trips to interstate grounds. They were no better and no worse than that and they still fought back late in the year to make the finals. The problem is that the similarity between the way the team played during that seven-week losing streak and the way it is playing now is quite uncanny. The other similarity is the number of "depth" players who were tried and failed during that period and who are still making up the depth despite having been found wanting many times in the past. The theory that the club has great depth has certainly been laid bare for once and for all over the past three weeks. I'm fully aware that the prospective young blood at the club is considered by many to be not quite ready for the rigours of AFL football but no more and no less so than names like (god help me for this!) Cox, Dick and Toovey at Collingwood. Look what they did on Friday night! And look what Geelong did in round two when it brought in Tom Hawkins one VFL practice match after returning from a pre season injury and Travis Varcoe for their first games. All I can say is that Hawkins is lucky he's at Geelong and not at Melbourne because if he were on the Demons' list he would have had to come up from his injury with a couple of games with the Sandy reserves just for starters. What did Melbourne do after receiving a thumping from Hawthorn and losing David Neitz, Russell Robertson and Jared Rivers through injury? It dropped Chris Johnson who wasn't playing all that well after an excellent pre season and it promoted the following four players - Ryan Ferguson, Ben Holland, Paul Johnson, and Adem Yze. Ferg must have done something to raise the coach's hackles though because he sat on the pine for the entire second half. Sheesh! OK. So you're down on personnel and you've decided you won't bring in any young new blood so you go for the same old, same olds. You're down in confidence, a number of your leading lights are out of form and your opposition is coming off a 13-goal win the week before. Why come out and play pretty football rather than scrap and fight? Why not? Because the personel at your disposal simply don't have the skills - a fact that was amply highlighted by the Cats' first three goals, all of which came from unforced errors and lazy play from the Demons. Jeff White's short pass to an opposition forward 15 metres out from goal was the icing on the cake. When you lack the team skills necessary to play the fast open game then you're in trouble and from that early point onward it was evident that Melbourne would be best served by playing lock down football. Instead, it went on its merry way, keeping its defence open far too wide, giving opposition players lots of latitude and plentiful opportunities to build their confidence sky high. I don't agree that trying to shut the game down in the first half would have been tantamount to surrendering the game. Look at what the Tigers achieved in that famous (or infamous) game against the Crows last year. Indeed, I think it is just the opposite and that leaving it until well into the second half to go defensive and put players behind the ball was far too late - by that stage it really was a white flag job. I want to give special kudos to Daniel Bell for his persistence, courage and improvement. He took on a few big Geelong names including G Ablett Junior and Paul Chapman. He didn't shut them out altogether but he played with the air of someone who will play 200 games for the club. Cameron Bruce was used mainly in a defensive role and picked up a lot of possessions although not always to the team's advantage, Nathan Jones and Brent Moloney were good and Brad Green proved an admirable filler up forward. Indeed, I think he relished the role. Jeff White did well in the ruck encounters and surprisingly, Melbourne won the battle for the clearances from midfield. But that's about it because most of the rest either weren't up to it or possibly they weren't interested. Aaron Davey has lost conidence and appears metres slower than he has been in past years. He's one player who is running out of chances although he might get a reprieve if Byron Pickett can come back to play the protector role that had Davey at his productive best in the first half of last year. Is it too late for the Demons given that they won't have their best side available for at least a month? My head says no but my heart and the team's recent history says it can be done. They could do without further injuries (and the cloud over Travis Johnstone and Moloney won't help in that regard) but I think some adventurous team selection and a bit of luck (already apparent with suspensions to Headland and Carr and injury to Browne) against the Dockers at the MCG could get things kick started. Melbourne 2.1.13 4.4.28 5.9.39 8.9.57 Geelong 5.8.38 11.8.74 14.10.94 15.19.109 Goals: B Green 4 B Moloney 2 S Godfrey T Johnstone Best: D Bell C Bruce B Moloney N Jones T Johnstone B Green Injuries: Nil (?). Reports: Nil. Umpires: M Ellis C Hendrie M Avon Official Crowd: 38,438 at the MCG.

THE ZERO SUM GAME by Whispering Jack On Saturday I watched a team of amateur footballers who wore red and blue and who made a better fist of playing a team game than the one that wore the same colours on Sunday at the MCG. The boys from Old Brighton backed each other up constantly; they moved the ball mainly forward and with purpose and they generally kicked and handballed to running targets, which they hit cleanly. The opposition played well too! Granted, when you're in a professional competition like the AFL the pressure is far greater than it is in the Ammos but I believe it's a real pity that only Cameron Bruce was in attendance (watching a mate) at this practice match between the Brighton Grammarians and Ajax because the rest of the Demons could have learned some lessons in application from these guys who (as far as I know) don't get paid for their efforts in a competition where the salary cap is zero. And zero is what I would have paid about 16 or 17 of the Melbourne players for their efforts against Geelong yesterday. Certainly, the team is undermanned at the moment. It's hard to produce the goods when your two best forwards, your hardest and most talented midfielder, your best key defender and a few other handy players are sitting in the stands watching and your toughest nut is half way down Princes Highway trying to run in to some fitness at Werribee but there were enough regulars out there to give the supporters a run for their money. And other clubs seem to get over their injury woes without becoming woeful! Indeed, I heard a caller on talk back radio make the statement that this was Melbourne's most woeful performance ever. The poor bloke must have a memory problems because the Demons were simply reverting back to the abysmal form of mid to late 2005 when they went through that awful period of injuries and constant trips to interstate grounds. They were no better and no worse than that and they still fought back late in the year to make the finals. The problem is that the similarity between the way the team played during that seven-week losing streak and the way it is playing now is quite uncanny. The other similarity is the number of "depth" players who were tried and failed during that period and who are still making up the depth despite having been found wanting many times in the past. The theory that the club has great depth has certainly been laid bare for once and for all over the past three weeks. I'm fully aware that the prospective young blood at the club is considered by many to be not quite ready for the rigours of AFL football but no more and no less so than names like (god help me for this!) Cox, Dick and Toovey at Collingwood. Look what they did on Friday night! And look what Geelong did in round two when it brought in Tom Hawkins one VFL practice match after returning from a pre season injury and Travis Varcoe for their first games. All I can say is that Hawkins is lucky he's at Geelong and not at Melbourne because if he were on the Demons' list he would have had to come up from his injury with a couple of games with the Sandy reserves just for starters. What did Melbourne do after receiving a thumping from Hawthorn and losing David Neitz, Russell Robertson and Jared Rivers through injury? It dropped Chris Johnson who wasn't playing all that well after an excellent pre season and it promoted the following four players - Ryan Ferguson, Ben Holland, Paul Johnson, and Adem Yze. Ferg must have done something to raise the coach's hackles though because he sat on the pine for the entire second half. Sheesh! OK. So you're down on personnel and you've decided you won't bring in any young new blood so you go for the same old, same olds. You're down in confidence, a number of your leading lights are out of form and your opposition is coming off a 13-goal win the week before. Why come out and play pretty football rather than scrap and fight? Why not? Because the personel at your disposal simply don't have the skills - a fact that was amply highlighted by the Cats' first three goals, all of which came from unforced errors and lazy play from the Demons. Jeff White's short pass to an opposition forward 15 metres out from goal was the icing on the cake. When you lack the team skills necessary to play the fast open game then you're in trouble and from that early point onward it was evident that Melbourne would be best served by playing lock down football. Instead, it went on its merry way, keeping its defence open far too wide, giving opposition players lots of latitude and plentiful opportunities to build their confidence sky high. I don't agree that trying to shut the game down in the first half would have been tantamount to surrendering the game. Look at what the Tigers achieved in that famous (or infamous) game against the Crows last year. Indeed, I think it is just the opposite and that leaving it until well into the second half to go defensive and put players behind the ball was far too late - by that stage it really was a white flag job. I want to give special kudos to Daniel Bell for his persistence, courage and improvement. He took on a few big Geelong names including G Ablett Junior and Paul Chapman. He didn't shut them out altogether but he played with the air of someone who will play 200 games for the club. Cameron Bruce was used mainly in a defensive role and picked up a lot of possessions although not always to the team's advantage, Nathan Jones and Brent Moloney were good and Brad Green proved an admirable filler up forward. Indeed, I think he relished the role. Jeff White did well in the ruck encounters and surprisingly, Melbourne won the battle for the clearances from midfield. But that's about it because most of the rest either weren't up to it or possibly they weren't interested. Aaron Davey has lost conidence and appears metres slower than he has been in past years. He's one player who is running out of chances although he might get a reprieve if Byron Pickett can come back to play the protector role that had Davey at his productive best in the first half of last year. Is it too late for the Demons given that they won't have their best side available for at least a month? My head says no but my heart and the team's recent history says it can be done. They could do without further injuries (and the cloud over Travis Johnstone and Moloney won't help in that regard) but I think some adventurous team selection and a bit of luck (already apparent with suspensions to Headland and Carr and injury to Browne) against the Dockers at the MCG could get things kick started. Melbourne 2.1.13 4.4.28 5.9.39 8.9.57 Geelong 5.8.38 11.8.74 14.10.94 15.19.109 Goals: B Green 4 B Moloney 2 S Godfrey T Johnstone Best: D Bell C Bruce B Moloney N Jones T Johnstone B Green Injuries: Nil (?). Reports: Nil. Umpires: M Ellis C Hendrie M Avon Official Crowd: 38,438 at the MCG.

Votes accepted for Belly, QueenC & Jaded - we need new blood giving votes The Leader Board after 3 rounds 29. Brent Moloney 21. Cameron Bruce 20. Brad Miller 19. Daniel Bell 18. Nathan Jones 13. Ben Holland 12. Brad Green David Neitz 11. Russell Robertson 8. Nathan Brown Simon Godfrey 5. James McDonald 3. Daniel Ward, Jeff White 2. Nathan Carroll Jared Rivers Travis Johnstone 1. Paul Johnson

SEVEN DAYS by J.V. McKay I find it hard to believe that it was just seven days ago, on Easter Saturday morning, that I was sipping away at a café latte inside a little curbside café in suburban Melbourne and enjoying small talk with a friend. We were both a bit down in the dumps as both of us support teams that suffered defeat in the first round of the season (he's a fan of Geelong) so the conversation generally veered away from the subject of football until the time came to pick up the tab and move on. Our parting comment was to the effect that thankfully, our respective football teams were taking on opponents at the weekend who were not to be feared by prospective finals participants in Melbourne and Geelong and that we would meet again in a week's time on the eve of Rivalry Round, with both having tasted the first victory for the year and in readiness to take each other on in an exciting blockbuster on the following day. The history books have recorded what happened next. Geelong, playing two first gamers, simply whipped Carlton into submission and would have won their match by over 100 points but for the fact that they pulled up in the final ten minutes and allowed the Blues a few cheap goals in junk time. Melbourne went the other way and lost ingloriously to the Hawks. To make matters worse the Demons are, in addition to suffering a massive form slump, undergoing one of the biggest injury crises in its history losing several key players in quick succession (and that came hot on the heels of the loss of Brock McLean for six weeks with a foot fracture sustained in round 1) - all in the space of seven days. First cab off the rank was Clint Bartram who injured a knee in Saturday's training session. He's out indefinitely. Ten minutes into Monday's game skipper David Neitz went down with a knee that puts him out for four weeks, then down went Russell Robertson with a knee that could put him out for up to ten weeks. During the week, the team's best defender Jared Rivers was ruled out with a hamstring strain and Colin Sylvia, who starred on comeback with Sandringham and was a certain to be selected for the AFL this week, went down with "soreness". Who knows how long "soreness" can keep you out of the team at Melbourne? So call me a coward but after the events of last week, I cancelled this morning's coffee meeting and instead of looking forward to tomorrow's game at the G, I was at one stage actually searching through the record books to ascertain what the Cats need to do in order to achieve an all time record breaking win against the Demons (it's a lot!). I even considered going bush for the weekend with a few bottles of expensive red (well, relatively expensive red). On reflection however, I'm not that pessimistic about the game and I will turn up and face the music. After all, I'm a gambler and I get my inspiration from the bookies! Don't get me wrong. I'm not about to join the Kiss of Death as the only tipster in the known universe to actually select Melbourne to triumph tomorrow at odds of $3.35 to win but those long odds remind me of a not too distant occasion when Melbourne met Fremantle at the MCG and the Dockers saluted the judges at even longer odds than that. I also go back to a famous game in about 1998 when an injury stricken Melbourne traveled to Subiaco and prevailed against the Eagles also at long odds against. Then there's the example set by the Bulldogs in 2006. With only 25 players to select a team from in round 20, the Doggies showed enormous character to beat Adelaide who were premiership favourites at the time. I figure therefore that there should be no reason at all why the collection of out of formers, coodabeens and never wases that is arrayed against Geelong tomorrow can't lift the club off the floor and give its fans something to cheer about in the interim period while many of the team's stars are recovering from their wounds and some promising youngsters are serving their mandatory sentences of a minimum of fifteen games at Sandringham before even being considered for selection and risked in senior AFL company (Malthouse was an absolute goose for picking three first gamers for last night's game v Richmond wasn't he)? It can be done, can't it? THE GAME: Melbourne v. Geelong at the MCG - 15 April 2007 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD: Overall: Melbourne 83 wins Geelong 116 wins 2 draws At the G: Melbourne 51 wins Geelong 48 wins Since 2000: Melbourne 6 wins Geelong 6 wins 1 draw The Coaches: Daniher 6 wins 1 draw Thompson 6 wins 1 draw MEDIA: TV Channel 7 (delayed telecast commencing at 3.00pm) RADIO: 3AW, ABC 774, KRock, MMM THE BETTING: Melbourne to win $3.35 Geelong to win $1.30 LAST TIME THEY MET: Geelong 14.10.94 drew with Melbourne 14.10.94 at Skilled Stadium in Round 21, 2006. Geelong were in a form slump and on their way to missing the 2006 finals while Melbourne had just demolished the Kangaroos. The Demons needed a victory if they were to have any chance of grabbing back a top four spot with the finals just two weeks away. Melbourne jumped to a 38-point lead well beyond the halfway mark of the second quarter only to be reeled in by a rampaging Geelong that kicked nine of the last eleven goals and received some serious help from the umpires to draw the game. Travis Johnstone was in fine form for the Demons while the best Cat on the day was Steve Johnson who thankfully will miss tomorrow because he's a very naughty boy. THE TEAMS: MELBOURNE: Backs: Ben Holland Nathan Carroll Matthew Whelan Half backs: Daniel Ward Paul Wheatley Daniel Bell Centreline: Brent Moloney James McDonald Brad Green Half forwards: Cameron Bruce Brad Miller Matthew Bate Forwards: Simon Godfrey Mark Jamar Aaron Davey Followers: Jeff White Nathan Jones Travis Johnstone Interchange: Nathan Brown Ryan Ferguson Paul Johnson Adem Yze Emergencies: Clint Bizzell Chris Johnson Ricky Petterd In: Ben Holland Ryan Ferguson Paul Johnson Adem Yze Out: David Neitz (knee) Jared Rivers (hamstring) Russell Robertson (knee) Chris Johnson GEELONG Backs: Corey Enright Matthew Scarlett Andrew Mackie Halfbacks: Josh Hunt Matthew Egan Darren Milburn Centreline: David Wojcinski Jimmy Bartel Shannon Byrnes Half forwards: Paul Chapman Cameron Mooney James Kelly Forwards: Nathan Ablett Brad Ottens Gary Ablett Followers: Mark Blake Cameron Ling Joel Corey Interchange: Tom Hawkins David Johnson Brent Prismall Travis Varcoe Emergencies: Charlie Gardiner Joel Selwood Kane Tenace In: David Johnson James Kelly Out: Charlie Gardiner Joel Selwood Umpires: Ellis Hendrie Avon THE GAME PLAN: Next! WHERE THE GAME WILL BE WON AND LOST: The Cats are full of confidence after giving Carlton an absolute shellacking last week. Everything went right for the Cats as they swept aside the insipid Blues. This week they come up against a team that's more insipid than the Bluebaggers. The Dees are playing without confidence, form or discipline and the game could be won or lost for this reason alone although we know from history that form can be such a fickle thing. It could come back when least expected! With Melbourne already battling injuries it's absolutely essential that two big name players in Travis Johnstone and Aaron Davey can come back from the worst form slumps of their careers. If both can return to their normal output or even better, things would definitely be on the improve for the Demons. However, I can't see that happening if Neale Daniher decides to play Davey at full forward as he threatened earlier in the week. He would be of more use if given a free rein in the wide open spaces of the wings where he can use his pace to advantage by running through the lines. Perhaps Trapper could go to the other wing to release Brad Green to the forward line - a part of the ground where he shone in the early parts of his career. Geelong's midfield is looking awesome with players of the calibre of Ablett, Bartel, Chapman, Corey and Ling able to run through the middle. James McDonald will need to be at his All-Australian best to stop Bartel while Nathan Jones will be put to the test against this calibre of opposition. The onus will definitely be on the Demon midfield to lift and at least they should be aided by Jeff White who also needs to return to form. Fortuitously, Steven King won't be around to give him a kick start (if you get my drift). White can handle Blake and Ottens and it is to be hoped that he can generate drive and forward movement from the advantage he can gain in the ruck. The Cats also appear to have the superior edge in their forward line but will depend on some youngsters in Nathan Ablett and Tom Hawkins to come up trumps twice in a row. That's no certainty! Unfortunately for the Demons, the Geelong defence, even without Tom Harley, is also looking strong and should hold down a dishevelled and disrupted injury affected Demon forward line. SOME VITAL MATCH UPS: The game presents some fascinating duels and if Melbourne is to even come close to winning the game it needs to finish in front with all three of the following: - Brad Miller v Matthew Egan With two key forwards sitting in the stands, Melbourne needs something special from Brad Miller who was one of its few shining lights last week. If Egan can hold him, the Dees are in trouble. The two Nathans – Carroll v Ablett Carroll showed some glimpses of returning to his 2006 form which had some of the pundits touting him for All Australian selection as a full back at one stage. Ablett has been in fine form and he forms part of a tall forward line capable of tearing opposition defences apart. Melbourne’s defence, without Rivers is suspect. Carroll must keep Ablett down. Ryan Ferguson v Cam Mooney When these two teams met in a practice match earlier in the season Mooney was kept scoreless in the first half by Jared Rivers. When Rivers succumbed to the hamstring soreness from which he has apparently still not recovered, Mooney booted four goals in a masterful and match winning display at centre half forward. He is named to start against Paul Wheatley but I have a feeling that we'll see Ferguson line up on him at some stage. This is Ferg's chance to atone and, in doing so he might even generate the revival of a career sent off the rails by persistent injury worries. THE WILDCARDS Paul Johnson Like Ferguson, Paul Johnson is a player whose career has stalled through injury. There are many doubters about PJ who say that he can't mark overhead and that he's simply not anywhere near the complete footballer. The former Liston Medallist is however, extremely agile for a tall man and I'm tipping that, given ground time, he could surprise. Avon calling I've had a gutful. For two weeks I have sat back and watched the umpires taking part in the carnage. Things are bad enough when your players own players stuff up constantly but it doesn't help when you give away the margin between winner and loser on consecutive weeks in free kicks and when the free kick differential virtually gives your opponent one extra player. What I'd like to see this week is some consistency and fairness and a free kick count of about 25 - 10 in our favour, five or six frees to us directly in front of goal and a couple of dubious 50 metre penalty goal assists to even things up. Now that's not asking too much in the interests of fairness, is it? (by the way I'm not bitter about the maggots at all!) THE TIP With so many big guns missing from the Melbourne line up, it's hard to see the Demons turning things around as dramatically over a period of less than seven days as is necessary to win this week. Funnier things have been known to happen but I'm tipping Geelong to win by 29 points.

by J.V. McKay I find it hard to believe that it was just seven days ago, on Easter Saturday morning, that I was sipping away at a café latte inside a little curbside café in suburban Melbourne and enjoying small talk with a friend. We were both a bit down in the dumps as both of us support teams that suffered defeat in the first round of the season (he's a fan of Geelong) so the conversation generally veered away from the subject of football until the time came to pick up the tab and move on. Our parting comment was to the effect that thankfully, our respective football teams were taking on opponents at the weekend who were not to be feared by prospective finals participants in Melbourne and Geelong and that we would meet again in a week's time on the eve of Rivalry Round, with both having tasted the first victory for the year and in readiness to take each other on in an exciting blockbuster on the following day. The history books have recorded what happened next. Geelong, playing two first gamers, simply whipped Carlton into submission and would have won their match by over 100 points but for the fact that they pulled up in the final ten minutes and allowed the Blues a few cheap goals in junk time. Melbourne went the other way and lost ingloriously to the Hawks. To make matters worse the Demons are, in addition to suffering a massive form slump, undergoing one of the biggest injury crises in its history losing several key players in quick succession (and that came hot on the heels of the loss of Brock McLean for six weeks with a foot fracture sustained in round 1) - all in the space of seven days. First cab off the rank was Clint Bartram who injured a knee in Saturday's training session. He's out indefinitely. Ten minutes into Monday's game skipper David Neitz went down with a knee that puts him out for four weeks, then down went Russell Robertson with a knee that could put him out for up to ten weeks. During the week, the team's best defender Jared Rivers was ruled out with a hamstring strain and Colin Sylvia, who starred on comeback with Sandringham and was a certain to be selected for the AFL this week, went down with "soreness". Who knows how long "soreness" can keep you out of the team at Melbourne? So call me a coward but after the events of last week, I cancelled this morning's coffee meeting and instead of looking forward to tomorrow's game at the G, I was at one stage actually searching through the record books to ascertain what the Cats need to do in order to achieve an all time record breaking win against the Demons (it's a lot!). I even considered going bush for the weekend with a few bottles of expensive red (well, relatively expensive red). On reflection however, I'm not that pessimistic about the game and I will turn up and face the music. After all, I'm a gambler and I get my inspiration from the bookies! Don't get me wrong. I'm not about to join the Kiss of Death as the only tipster in the known universe to actually select Melbourne to triumph tomorrow at odds of $3.35 to win but those long odds remind me of a not too distant occasion when Melbourne met Fremantle at the MCG and the Dockers saluted the judges at even longer odds than that. I also go back to a famous game in about 1998 when an injury stricken Melbourne traveled to Subiaco and prevailed against the Eagles also at long odds against. Then there's the example set by the Bulldogs in 2006. With only 25 players to select a team from in round 20, the Doggies showed enormous character to beat Adelaide who were premiership favourites at the time. I figure therefore that there should be no reason at all why the collection of out of formers, coodabeens and never wases that is arrayed against Geelong tomorrow can't lift the club off the floor and give its fans something to cheer about in the interim period while many of the team's stars are recovering from their wounds and some promising youngsters are serving their mandatory sentences of a minimum of fifteen games at Sandringham before even being considered for selection and risked in senior AFL company (Malthouse was an absolute goose for picking three first gamers for last night's game v Richmond wasn't he)? It can be done, can't it? THE GAME: Melbourne v. Geelong at the MCG - 15 April 2007 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD: Overall: Melbourne 83 wins Geelong 116 wins 2 draws At the G: Melbourne 51 wins Geelong 48 wins Since 2000: Melbourne 6 wins Geelong 6 wins 1 draw The Coaches: Daniher 6 wins 1 draw Thompson 6 wins 1 draw MEDIA: TV Channel 7 (delayed telecast commencing at 3.00pm) RADIO: 3AW, ABC 774, KRock, MMM THE BETTING: Melbourne to win $3.35 Geelong to win $1.30 LAST TIME THEY MET: Geelong 14.10.94 drew with Melbourne 14.10.94 at Skilled Stadium in Round 21, 2006. Geelong were in a form slump and on their way to missing the 2006 finals while Melbourne had just demolished the Kangaroos. The Demons needed a victory if they were to have any chance of grabbing back a top four spot with the finals just two weeks away. Melbourne jumped to a 38-point lead well beyond the halfway mark of the second quarter only to be reeled in by a rampaging Geelong that kicked nine of the last eleven goals and received some serious help from the umpires to draw the game. Travis Johnstone was in fine form for the Demons while the best Cat on the day was Steve Johnson who thankfully will miss tomorrow because he's a very naughty boy. THE TEAMS: MELBOURNE: Backs: Ben Holland Nathan Carroll Matthew Whelan Half backs: Daniel Ward Paul Wheatley Daniel Bell Centreline: Brent Moloney James McDonald Brad Green Half forwards: Cameron Bruce Brad Miller Matthew Bate Forwards: Simon Godfrey Mark Jamar Aaron Davey Followers: Jeff White Nathan Jones Travis Johnstone Interchange: Nathan Brown Ryan Ferguson Paul Johnson Adem Yze Emergencies: Clint Bizzell Chris Johnson Ricky Petterd In: Ben Holland Ryan Ferguson Paul Johnson Adem Yze Out: David Neitz (knee) Jared Rivers (hamstring) Russell Robertson (knee) Chris Johnson GEELONG Backs: Corey Enright Matthew Scarlett Andrew Mackie Halfbacks: Josh Hunt Matthew Egan Darren Milburn Centreline: David Wojcinski Jimmy Bartel Shannon Byrnes Half forwards: Paul Chapman Cameron Mooney James Kelly Forwards: Nathan Ablett Brad Ottens Gary Ablett Followers: Mark Blake Cameron Ling Joel Corey Interchange: Tom Hawkins David Johnson Brent Prismall Travis Varcoe Emergencies: Charlie Gardiner Joel Selwood Kane Tenace In: David Johnson James Kelly Out: Charlie Gardiner Joel Selwood Umpires: Ellis Hendrie Avon THE GAME PLAN: Next! WHERE THE GAME WILL BE WON AND LOST: The Cats are full of confidence after giving Carlton an absolute shellacking last week. Everything went right for the Cats as they swept aside the insipid Blues. This week they come up against a team that's more insipid than the Bluebaggers. The Dees are playing without confidence, form or discipline and the game could be won or lost for this reason alone although we know from history that form can be such a fickle thing. It could come back when least expected! With Melbourne already battling injuries it's absolutely essential that two big name players in Travis Johnstone and Aaron Davey can come back from the worst form slumps of their careers. If both can return to their normal output or even better, things would definitely be on the improve for the Demons. However, I can't see that happening if Neale Daniher decides to play Davey at full forward as he threatened earlier in the week. He would be of more use if given a free rein in the wide open spaces of the wings where he can use his pace to advantage by running through the lines. Perhaps Trapper could go to the other wing to release Brad Green to the forward line - a part of the ground where he shone in the early parts of his career. Geelong's midfield is looking awesome with players of the calibre of Ablett, Bartel, Chapman, Corey and Ling able to run through the middle. James McDonald will need to be at his All-Australian best to stop Bartel while Nathan Jones will be put to the test against this calibre of opposition. The onus will definitely be on the Demon midfield to lift and at least they should be aided by Jeff White who also needs to return to form. Fortuitously, Steven King won't be around to give him a kick start (if you get my drift). White can handle Blake and Ottens and it is to be hoped that he can generate drive and forward movement from the advantage he can gain in the ruck. The Cats also appear to have the superior edge in their forward line but will depend on some youngsters in Nathan Ablett and Tom Hawkins to come up trumps twice in a row. That's no certainty! Unfortunately for the Demons, the Geelong defence, even without Tom Harley, is also looking strong and should hold down a dishevelled and disrupted injury affected Demon forward line. SOME VITAL MATCH UPS: The game presents some fascinating duels and if Melbourne is to even come close to winning the game it needs to finish in front with all three of the following: - Brad Miller v Matthew Egan With two key forwards sitting in the stands, Melbourne needs something special from Brad Miller who was one of its few shining lights last week. If Egan can hold him, the Dees are in trouble. The two Nathans – Carroll v Ablett Carroll showed some glimpses of returning to his 2006 form which had some of the pundits touting him for All Australian selection as a full back at one stage. Ablett has been in fine form and he forms part of a tall forward line capable of tearing opposition defences apart. Melbourne’s defence, without Rivers is suspect. Carroll must keep Ablett down. Ryan Ferguson v Cam Mooney When these two teams met in a practice match earlier in the season Mooney was kept scoreless in the first half by Jared Rivers. When Rivers succumbed to the hamstring soreness from which he has apparently still not recovered, Mooney booted four goals in a masterful and match winning display at centre half forward. He is named to start against Paul Wheatley but I have a feeling that we'll see Ferguson line up on him at some stage. This is Ferg's chance to atone and, in doing so he might even generate the revival of a career sent off the rails by persistent injury worries. THE WILDCARDS Paul Johnson Like Ferguson, Paul Johnson is a player whose career has stalled through injury. There are many doubters about PJ who say that he can't mark overhead and that he's simply not anywhere near the complete footballer. The former Liston Medallist is however, extremely agile for a tall man and I'm tipping that, given ground time, he could surprise. Avon calling I've had a gutful. For two weeks I have sat back and watched the umpires taking part in the carnage. Things are bad enough when your players own players stuff up constantly but it doesn't help when you give away the margin between winner and loser on consecutive weeks in free kicks and when the free kick differential virtually gives your opponent one extra player. What I'd like to see this week is some consistency and fairness and a free kick count of about 25 - 10 in our favour, five or six frees to us directly in front of goal and a couple of dubious 50 metre penalty goal assists to even things up. Now that's not asking too much in the interests of fairness, is it? (by the way I'm not bitter about the maggots at all!) THE TIP With so many big guns missing from the Melbourne line up, it's hard to see the Demons turning things around as dramatically over a period of less than seven days as is necessary to win this week. Funnier things have been known to happen but I'm tipping Geelong to win by 29 points.

I have accepted the first three nominations i.e. dees_rule_4eva, Deanox and Condemned84 (that means dees_rule_4eva can take a break from giving votes until the second half of the season to give others a chance):- The current standings therefore are:- 18. Brad Miller Brent Moloney 13. Ben Holland 12. David Neitz 11. Cameron Bruce Russell Robertson 8. Nathan Brown Simon Godfrey 7. Nathan Jones 5. Daniel Bell James McDonald 3. Daniel Ward, Jeff White 2. Nathan Carroll Jared Rivers

Current standings (and don't forget to put your tips in before tonight):- 1. (15) 10 demon_fanatic 1. (1) 10 TimDees 3. (1) 9 bl3281 3. (15) 9 deanox 3. (15) 9 Dees_Fan16 3. (1) 9 DeMoNiC 3. (1) 9 Demonland 3. (1) 9 great_gatsby 3. (15) 9 Jackieboy_0 3. (1) 9 Kieranbj 11. (1) 8 achirnside 11. (31) 8 BigKev Demon 11. (1) 8 canberrademon(herb) 11. (15)8 Clyde_Cabbie 11. (1) 8 Dappadan 11. (15) 8 KrazyJay 11. (15) 8 paliosiana 11. (1) 8 petejh2000 11. (15) 8 Pinball_Wizard 11. (15) 8 slamevil 11. (1) 8 Whispering_Jack 22. (15) 7 dee'viator 22. (15) 7 deesthisyear 22. (1) 7 demon_davey 22. (15) 7 Go_Ds 22. (15) 7 Goodvibes 22. (1) 7 melon22 22. (31) 7 Rivers Run Red 22. (15) 7 Scoop Junior 22. (31) 7 snarler_0 31. (31) 6 Fingers Power 31. (31) 6 No Cigar 31. (1) 6 rusty_corner 34. (37) 5 frangas 34. (15) 5 jaded24 34. (15) 5 rusty_kingswood 37. (37) 4 Alpha_33 37. (31) 4 CarnTheDees

OK. It's late, he's been tardy and there are no excuses, but here it is. WJ's match report ... THE SAUSAGE ROLL DID IT by Whispering Jack Long-time Melbourne supporters are used to this. Two rounds into the season and their team is in trouble after suffering a second defeat at the MCG to a team which finished below it last year (and the least experienced side in the competition). Twice, the Demons have entered the game as firm favourites with the bookmakers, twice they cruised to an early three goal lead which, in the past would have been used as the springboard for a solid victory, and twice they surrendered meekly in the second and third quarters before showing some semblance of mild but belated resistance in the end. The only thing left to consider was an excuse for these pathetic performances and, while looking for just such an excuse, I stumbled upon a news item about how the humble sausage roll recently caused a Sydney train to run 15 minutes late. All because the driver claimed he was blinded by a sausage roll. Fair dinkum! The Sydney Daily Telegraph has obtained a long list of dubious excuses used by CityRail drivers and guards for getting off work mid-shift. One of them runs as follows:- "Driver reports eye injury most likely sustained whilst eating a hot sausage roll . . . he has sensitive eyes and may have rubbed an irritant into them during crib." So I thought to myself, is it possible that the Demons could get away with the same sort of excuse for their failure to nail the opposition when they were poised do just that? Do players get their sustenance before a game from savoury food like the sausage roll? Is it possible for the fumes from the tomato sauce to collectively steer a whole team so far off course that all they can do for two hours is take the longest course home using the most inefficient means to steer that course? Can you get double vision from the effect of the herbs and spices ingrained in the sausage roll to the point where you all you do is handball in the direction of a teammates' stationary feet or kick straight to your opposition? Nah! On reflection, the sausage roll story is a bit too far fetched. Why not run with the official line from the coach who puts it down to the ebbs and flows of the modern game. "You have to have a look at the middle of the game. Are we working hard enough? Are we getting bottled down in our inability to clear it? They got their hands on the ball around those scrums," Daniher said after Melbourne’s 22 point humbling at the hands of the Hawks on Easter Monday. There was a nice ring about it but it was a bit too prosaic for me so I skipped across to Sportal which is currently running a poll as to why Melbourne has made such a tardy start to the season. The alternatives given to site visitors and the results to date are:- 1. Injuries to key players hurt (19%); 2. Neale Daniher cannot coach (22%); 3. Because Green, Yze, White and co can't lift (30%) and 4. They have too much dead wood (29%) The two things they left out were the perennial, "the umpires suck" and the handy "all of the above" which is probably as good as it gets. Thankfully, nobody thought of using the Sydney train driver's excuse for the tardiness. The poll is pretty much a reality check for an ailing club. There's no doubt in my mind that Melbourne are simply being outclassed by the opposition and there are no excuses. It matters not whether this emphasis on "run" and "carry" is real or imaginative, the Demons have fallen into a hole playing a brand of football that doesn't come naturally to the players. They appear confused and frustrated and a few simply appear lazy. Their leaders aren't contributing and the impression one gets is that this is an ill-disciplined rabble. One consequence is a staggering 49 frees against to 31 for in two matches, 11 goals kicked against from frees to only two for (roughly the losing margin in each game) and that's not counting a few goals from 50 metre penalties. The result is two humiliating defeats and a well-deserved place at the very foot of the league ladder. Last week I considered that I might have witnessed a mirage watching an appalling number of mistakes committed and wrong options taken. The style was ugly. Sitting not far around from the wing in the Northern Stand, the players appeared to be going sideways rather than straight ahead. This week, I was in the Ponsford Stand more or less behind the goals and it was even more pronounced that the Demons have developed an aversion to going forward in a straight line. They've forgetten all about trigonometry and are going in circles, holding on to the ball for far too long and making it far too simple for the opposition defence to clear the ball away in the rare event that they strike it lucky and pass the centre without losing possession. And what's happened to controllling the corridor? It's being avoided like the plague! On the eve of the season I nominated my list of Melbourne's ten most important players. Their output (or lack thereof) after just two weeks of football is a clear pointer to the club's on field troubles. 1. Brock McLean - injured after completing one quarter against the Saints. 2. Travis Johnstone - one ordinary and one substandard performance after being heavily tagged. 3. Jared Rivers - missed the Saints game with injury but reasonably good against the Hawks. 4. Jeff White - beaten twice in the ruck. What's worse he was embarrassingly, brushed aside by Hawthorn's Boyle who plucked the ball out of a boundary ruck contest and goaled in the third quarter. 5. Cameron Bruce - only reasonable, getting cheap possessions and disposal ordinary. 6. David Neitz - injured his knee in the first quarter against Hawthorn and set to miss 4 games. 7. Brad Green - just going and making plenty of mistakes. 8. Aaron Davey - badly under performing and seems to have lost the magic touch in the absence of Byron Pickett. 9. Matthew Whelan - injured early against the Saints and played below his best on return against the Hawks. 10. James McDonald - reasonable but nowhere near his All Australian form of last year. Looking outside this list to some of the other experienced players at the club and you have Adem Yze (dropped), Russell Robertson (sluggish, then injured and out for four weeks), Nathan Brown (missed the Saints but reasonably good against the Hawks), Byron Pickett (failed to make it through three quarters at Sandy) and Ben Holland (dropped after the Saints game). Doesn't that say it all? The few plusses are the form of Nathan Jones and Brad Miller who are standing up in the face of the opposition onslaughts, Brent Moloney, Daniel Bell and maybe Nathan Carroll. To show how desperate I really am, I'll nominate Colin Sylvia's game at Sandringham on Easter Saturday. And a special mention to the much-maligned Simon Godfrey who lacks skills but shows how much he cherishes his place in the side every time he steps onto the field. Godders is no Easter Bunny. The other plusses are that Melbourne has no option but to recast its team extensively for next week's game against Geelong and for the month beyond. In doing so, it is to be hoped that Daniher will take the adventurous option. Try something different with the players at his disposal and pick a few youngsters, even if they would in the ordinary course not be considered ready. What has he got to lose? His job? Another plus might be that the coach allows the players to return to the style of game from around the middle of 2006 when they were thumping the opposition, getting the ball out of the middle and going right down the guts. The "run and carry" stuff can be slowly re-introduced if necesssary in the weeks before the team plays on a long, thing ground like Subiaco. Let's just keep it away from the MCG, shall we? Whatever changes are made, I'm really hoping that one of them won't involve the move foreshadowed by Daniher of playing Aaron Davey at full forward (wouldn't a proven player like Brad Green be a better option?). If that happens, then take it from me, I'll be the bloke down at the kiosk buying out the entire stock of sausage rolls, applying liberal doses of tomato sauce and doing my best to think of some more excuses for another tardy performance. Melbourne 4.5.29 5.7.37 10.10.70 14.10.94 Hawthorn 2.4.16 7.8.50 15.9.99 17.14.116 Goals Miller 3 Godfrey Jamar 2 Bate Moloney Neitz Robertson Ward White Best Jones Moloney Miller Rivers Bruce McDonald Injuries Bartram (knee) withdrew from selected side, Neitz (knee) Robertson (knee) Reports Nil Umpires Rosebury Sully Ryan Crowd 43,197 at the MCG

by Whispering Jack Long-time Melbourne supporters are used to this. Two rounds into the season and their team is in trouble after suffering a second defeat at the MCG to a team which finished below it last year (and the least experienced side in the competition). Twice, the Demons have entered the game as firm favourites with the bookmakers, twice they cruised to an early three goal lead which, in the past would have been used as the springboard for a solid victory, and twice they surrendered meekly in the second and third quarters before showing some semblance of mild but belated resistance in the end. The only thing left to consider was an excuse for these pathetic performances and, while looking for just such an excuse, I stumbled upon a news item about how the humble sausage roll recently caused a Sydney train to run 15 minutes late. All because the driver claimed he was blinded by a sausage roll. Fair dinkum! The Sydney Daily Telegraph has obtained a long list of dubious excuses used by CityRail drivers and guards for getting off work mid-shift. One of them runs as follows:- "Driver reports eye injury most likely sustained whilst eating a hot sausage roll . . . he has sensitive eyes and may have rubbed an irritant into them during crib." So I thought to myself, is it possible that the Demons could get away with the same sort of excuse for their failure to nail the opposition when they were poised do just that? Do players get their sustenance before a game from savoury food like the sausage roll? Is it possible for the fumes from the tomato sauce to collectively steer a whole team so far off course that all they can do for two hours is take the longest course home using the most inefficient means to steer that course? Can you get double vision from the effect of the herbs and spices ingrained in the sausage roll to the point where you all you do is handball in the direction of a teammates' stationary feet or kick straight to your opposition? Nah! On reflection, the sausage roll story is a bit too far fetched. Why not run with the official line from the coach who puts it down to the ebbs and flows of the modern game. "You have to have a look at the middle of the game. Are we working hard enough? Are we getting bottled down in our inability to clear it? They got their hands on the ball around those scrums," Daniher said after Melbourne’s 22 point humbling at the hands of the Hawks on Easter Monday. There was a nice ring about it but it was a bit too prosaic for me so I skipped across to Sportal which is currently running a poll as to why Melbourne has made such a tardy start to the season. The alternatives given to site visitors and the results to date are:- 1. Injuries to key players hurt (19%); 2. Neale Daniher cannot coach (22%); 3. Because Green, Yze, White and co can't lift (30%) and 4. They have too much dead wood (29%) The two things they left out were the perennial, "the umpires suck" and the handy "all of the above" which is probably as good as it gets. Thankfully, nobody thought of using the Sydney train driver's excuse for the tardiness. The poll is pretty much a reality check for an ailing club. There's no doubt in my mind that Melbourne are simply being outclassed by the opposition and there are no excuses. It matters not whether this emphasis on "run and carry" is real or imaginative, the Demons have fallen into a hole playing a brand of football that doesn't come naturally to the players. They appear confused and frustrated and a few simply appear lazy. Their leaders aren't contributing and the impression one gets is that this is an ill-disciplined rabble. One consequence is a staggering 49 frees against to 31 for in two matches, 11 goals kicked against from frees to only two for (roughly the losing margin in each game) and that's not counting a few goals from 50 metre penalties. The result is two humiliating defeats and a well-deserved place at the very foot of the league ladder. Last week I considered that I might have witnessed a mirage watching an appalling number of mistakes committed and wrong options taken. The style was ugly. Sitting not far around from the wing in the Northern Stand, the players appeared to be going sideways rather than straight ahead. This week, I was in the Ponsford Stand more or less behind the goals and it was even more pronounced that the Demons have developed an aversion to going forward in a straight line. They've forgetten all about trigonometry and are going in circles, holding on to the ball for far too long and making it far too simple for the opposition defence to clear the ball away in the rare event that they strike it lucky and pass the centre without losing possession. And what's happened to controllling the corridor? It's being avoided like the plague! On the eve of the season I nominated my list of Melbourne's ten most important players. Their output (or lack thereof) after just two weeks of football is a clear pointer to the club's on field troubles. 1. Brock McLean - injured after completing one quarter against the Saints. 2. Travis Johnstone - one ordinary and one substandard performance after being heavily tagged. 3. Jared Rivers - missed the Saints game with injury but reasonably good against the Hawks. 4. Jeff White - beaten twice in the ruck. What's worse he was embarrassingly, brushed aside by Hawthorn's Boyle who plucked the ball out of a boundary ruck contest and goaled in the third quarter. 5. Cameron Bruce - only reasonable, getting cheap possessions and disposal ordinary. 6. David Neitz - injured his knee in the first quarter against Hawthorn and set to miss 4 games. 7. Brad Green - just going and making plenty of mistakes. 8. Aaron Davey - badly under performing and seems to have lost the magic touch in the absence of Byron Pickett. 9. Matthew Whelan - injured early against the Saints and played below his best on return against the Hawks. 10. James McDonald - reasonable but nowhere near his All Australian form of last year. Looking outside this list to some of the other experienced players at the club and you have Adem Yze (dropped), Russell Robertson (sluggish, then injured and out for four weeks), Nathan Brown (missed the Saints but reasonably good against the Hawks), Byron Pickett (failed to make it through three quarters at Sandy) and Ben Holland (dropped after the Saints game). Doesn't that say it all? The few plusses are the form of Nathan Jones and Brad Miller who are standing up in the face of the opposition onslaughts, Brent Moloney, Daniel Bell and maybe Nathan Carroll. To show how desperate I really am, I'll nominate Colin Sylvia's game at Sandringham on Easter Saturday. And a special mention to the much-maligned Simon Godfrey who lacks skills but shows how much he cherishes his place in the side every time he steps onto the field. Godders is no Easter Bunny. The other plusses are that Melbourne has no option but to recast its team extensively for next week's game against Geelong and for the month beyond. In doing so, it is to be hoped that Daniher will take the adventurous option. Try something different with the players at his disposal and pick a few youngsters, even if they would in the ordinary course not be considered ready. What has he got to lose? His job? Another plus might be that the coach allows the players to return to the style of game from around the middle of 2006 when they were thumping the opposition, getting the ball out of the middle and going right down the guts. The "run and carry" stuff can be slowly re-introduced if necesssary in the weeks before the team plays on a long, thing ground like Subiaco. Let's just keep it away from the MCG, shall we? Whatever changes are made, I'm really hoping that one of them won't involve the move foreshadowed by Daniher of playing Aaron Davey at full forward (wouldn't a proven player like Brad Green be a better option?). If that happens, then take it from me, I'll be the bloke down at the kiosk buying out the entire stock of sausage rolls, applying liberal doses of tomato sauce and doing my best to think of some more excuses for another tardy performance. Melbourne 4.5.29 5.7.37 10.10.70 14.10.94 Hawthorn 2.4.16 7.8.50 15.9.99 17.14.116 Goals Miller 3 Godfrey Jamar Moloney 2 Bate Neitz Robertson Ward White Best Jones Moloney Miller Rivers Bruce McDonald Injuries Bartram (knee) withdrew from selected side, Neitz (knee) Robertson (knee) Reports Nil Umpires Rosebury Sully Ryan Crowd 43,197 at the MCG

Whispering Jack assures that he is working on his match review of the Hawthorn game. He's still working on the excuses for the delay but please be patient, it's on its way.

UNFURLING THE FLAG - A SANDRINGHAM STORY by Barry from Beach Road Sandringham capped off a memorable day in the club's history to open its 2007 campaign with a 10-point victory over last year's VFL grand final opponent Geelong. The Zebras raced away to a half time lead in excess of 10 goals but slackened off considerably after the main break to hold on to win what turned out to be an exciting and high scoring game. The afternoon had started in brilliant autumn sunshine with the unfurling of the 2006 premiership flag by Libby Gilchrist, wife of the club's late president Gary Gilchrist who tragically passed away in July last year. There was little time however, for the team to soak up the atmosphere of the previous year's triumph - it was a case of getting straight down to business for the opening bounce of the season! With 2005 Liston Medallist Paul Johnson back in harness and rucking strongly and Peter Summers and Shane Valenti drilling the ball out of the middle, the forwards in Sautner, Sylvia and Garland were able to give the Zebra faithful a perfect start to the season with four goals in the opening five minutes and seven of the first eight goals of the match before the Cats came back with four of their own. A steadier just before the siren had Sandy three goals in front after a frenetic opening quarter. The second quarter was Sandringham at its best with the home side playing champagne football to completely dominate the opposition scoring eight goals to nil. Summers, Valenti and Demon great Adem Yze worked tirelessly to lead the dominant Zebra midfield as the team stretched the margin to 64 points by half time. Full forward, Nick Sautner had five goals on the board and the Cats went into their rooms with heads bowed. It's hard to tell whether it was the warm weather or perhaps it was a mindset that the game was already over, but the course of the game changed entirely after the main break. Now it was Geelong's turn to win the ball out of the middle and to force its opponents into costly mistakes and bad turnovers. Playing inspired football, the Cats clawed their way back into the game by kicking a stunning eleven goals for the third term to cut Sandy's lead to just 16 points at three quarter time. It was probably to Sandy's good that any complacency that might have crept into the team, was extinguished so early in the season. The memory of the third term of the opening game will no doubt be recalled for the players by the coaching staff as the season unfolds. Still, the Cats kept on coming but Sandy's resistance was also strong. With an exhausted looking Byron Pickett being rested in the final quarter and Ezra Poyas also being nursed through his return from injury, the Zebras now had their backs to the wall and had to pluck up some resistance or be overrun in the finish. The team was able to steady thanks to the sterling efforts of Summers, Valenti, David Gallagher, the strength and brilliance of Sylvia and a tightened defence led by Ryan Ferguson. Sandringham managed to hold out the Cats and save the game aided also by some wayward kicking for goal by Geelong's forwards. However, the Cats were always under pressure in their efforts to catch up from such a long way behind and, like all good sides, the Zebras steadied when the going got tough. The game marked a major milestone for Chris Lamb who played his 100th for the Zebras. He was solid at centre half back and helped with some desperate saves but it wasn't his best game. The high scoring affair in which both sides booted over 20 goals in perfect conditions wasn't exactly made for defenders. It was also the debut game of young Sandringham Dragon Tomi Johnston who joined brother Marc, playing only his third game. The sons of former Carlton champion Wayne "The Dominator" Johnston had minor roles coming off the bench but both showed they would be useful players at the club. Slightly built Tomi showed some exciting skills and courage and looks to have a bright future. It was fitting in the end that Paul Johnson, the dominant ruckman on the day, managed to snaffle the ball and pass to the dominant forward of the game, Nick Sautner, who scored the goal thirty seconds from the final siren to save the match for the team and to see it home by 23.11.149 to 20.19.139. The club recently announced boxing superstar Sam "King" Soliman was its new number one celebrity member for 2007 but it was once again Sautner who delivered the knock out punch. Next Sunday the Zebras take on Werribee at Bartercard Oval, Werribee. Seniors at 2.00pm, Reserves at 11.20am. And so the magic carpet ride continues ... HOW THE DEMONS FARED Simon Buckley - a player with explosive pace and all of the athletic ability necessary to play the game at the highest level. He was played mainly at halfback where he displayed a good approach on the football and generally disposed of it well. He is still on a steep learning curve as he showed when he tried to mark from behind instead of spoil deep in defence during the last quarter. However, at his very next opportunity, he did the right thing and punched the ball away from his opponent’s hands. Ryan Ferguson - in a game where both defences were under siege Ferguson was better than most but that doesn't really say much at all. His marking was very good and some of defensive work was adequate but he let himself down with poor disposal and he was guilty at times of some very ordinary decision-making. On one occasion, he punched the ball into the middle corridor when he should have marked (or at least punched in the direction of the boundary) and he also committed a few other clangers that resulted in opposition goals. Colin Garland - started like a house on fire and was dangerous early with two goals and an assist to Colin Sylvia but faded as the game wore on and spent time on the bench. Has good hands, is mobile and also plays tall. An exciting player of the future but probably not ready for AFL until 2008. Ben Holland - Benny played a better game against St. Kilda last Friday week after which he was dropped to play in this game. I think that just about sums it all up apart from the fact that he did mark and goal at a crucial time in the final quarter. Paul Johnson - probably the most effective ruckman on the ground and he showed great mobility for a big man. Took some good marks, including a couple overhead, but committed a few obvious clangers under pressure before redeeming himself close to the end with a good pick up and pass in the Sautner direction, which resulted in the match saving goal. Shane Neaves - was reasonable given his role as second fiddle to Paul Johnson but there was nothing spectacular in his game. Michael Newton - the man is an enigma and a coach’s nightmare. He has freakish ability and great skills, especially his marking and kicking but he can be oh, so, frustrating at times. He started on a wing where some half-hearted tackling efforts and poor decision-making earned him time on the bench. After his return, he worked his way back into the game and in the final quarter, he kicked a beautiful (and much needed) goal and took the mark of the day to cut off a threatening Geelong forward thrust. If and when Newton learns to concentrate on his game for four quarters, he will be an absolute beauty but in the meantime, he is more on the erratic and unreliable side. To be fair, I don't think the small Beach Road Oval suits him and he didn't appear all that comfortable playing on a wing, but as I've said on a few occasions, players of his type can blossom into something special which is a prospect that's well worth waiting for! Ricky Petterd - the more the game went on, the more Petterd impressed me. He's very poised and balanced and he plays with a definite purpose. Give him another half a dozen games at this level and he will be ready for a crack at the big time. Byron Pickett - sadly overweight and unfit, returning from a hamstring injury and a trip to Perth for family reasons, Pickett managed a little over half a game intimidating opponents and providing some glimpses of his magic (e.g. that brilliant interception and goal) before running out of puff and spending the last quarter and a half on the bench. "He ran out of gas, we didn't want to run him into the ground," coach mark Williams said after the game. For AFL watchers, he’s a good few weeks away! Colin Sylvia - a sensational performance given his limited preparation and the fact that this was his first full match of four quarters this season. Played mainly on a forward flank and in the pocket, marked strongly, kicked three goals, menaced the opposition defenders with hard tackling and spoiling and proved that he is ready to take on the Cats again in a week's time but only on a different stage. Matthew Warnock - spent most of the first half sitting on the pine and then was sent into defence for the second half deluge of opposition goals. This alone alone is enough to suggest that he has a tough task ahead of him if he wants to play the game at the highest level. He has good pace and used it to advantage a couple of times but wasn't overly impressive. Adem Yze - kicked two goals and picked up 32 possessions playing mainly in midfield with a couple of stints at half forward. Contrary to what the Yze naysayers might think, he took his demotion like a champion and produced the goods for his team. I don't believe anyone could have asked more from him on the day. RESULTS Sandringham 8.5.53 16.8.104 19.10.124 23.11.149 Geelong 5.5.35 5.10.40 16.12.108 20.19.139 Goal Kickers: Sandringham N Sautner 7 C Sylvia 3 C Garland S Valenti A Yze 2 R Crowe R Ferguson B Holland P Johnson M Newton B Pickett P Summers Geelong S Johnson 5 C Urie 3 D Barnes J Davenport S Hogan M Spencer 2 J Byrne N Djerrkura T Grima S Hunt Best: Sandringham P Summers R Ferguson C Sylvia S Valenti N Sautner A Yze Geelong S Johnson D Barnes J Byrne H Playfair T West J Davenport RESERVES AMBUSHED The Sandy reserves were ambushed by a strong Box Hill reserves which took advantage of their senior team's bye to include two senior level AFL Hawthorn emergency list player’s for the Easter Monday's game - Jarryd Roughead and Michael Osborne as well as Josh Thurgood who also plenty of senior AFL experience. These players were easily the difference between the two sides. Box Hill Hawks are the reigning reserve grade premiers and they piled on nine goals in the opening quarter but the young Zebras fought manfully and went down by 47 points in the end. Rennie Gilchrist and Phil Zarra (4 goals) were the pick of the players. Demon rookie Daniel Hughes kicked three goals on return from a groin injury. RESULTS Sandringham 3.3.21 8.9.57 10.11.71 12.15.87 Box Hill Hawks 9.4.58 13.6.84 16.12.108 20.14.134 Goal Kickers: Sandringham P Zarra 4 D Hughes 3 D Gribbin K Hall S Martin S Monaghan S Tregear Box Hill Hawks J Roughead 8 D Bradshaw 3 M Osborne 2 J Allan S Daniher E Johnson A Marguccio L McEntee T Pollett J Thurgood Best: Sandringham R Gilchrist P Zarra S Monaghan P McGettigan M Gibb S Martin Box Hill Hawks M Osborne J Roughead D Marcius J Allan L McEntee A Quinn

by Barry from Beach Road Sandringham capped off a memorable day in the club's history to open its 2007 campaign with a 10-point victory over last year's VFL grand final opponent Geelong. The Zebras raced away to a half time lead in excess of 10 goals but slackened off considerably after the main break to hold on to win what turned out to be an exciting and high scoring game. The afternoon had started in brilliant autumn sunshine with the unfurling of the 2006 premiership flag by Libby Gilchrist, wife of the club's late president Gary Gilchrist who tragically passed away in July last year. There was little time however, for the team to soak up the atmosphere of the previous year's triumph - it was a case of getting straight down to business for the opening bounce of the season! With 2005 Liston Medallist Paul Johnson back in harness and rucking strongly and Peter Summers and Shane Valenti drilling the ball out of the middle, the forwards in Sautner, Sylvia and Garland were able to give the Zebra faithful a perfect start to the season with four goals in the opening five minutes and seven of the first eight goals of the match before the Cats came back with four of their own. A steadier just before the siren had Sandy three goals in front after a frenetic opening quarter. The second quarter was Sandringham at its best with the home side playing champagne football to completely dominate the opposition scoring eight goals to nil. Summers, Valenti and Demon great Adem Yze worked tirelessly to lead the dominant Zebra midfield as the team stretched the margin to 64 points by half time. Full forward, Nick Sautner had five goals on the board and the Cats went into their rooms with heads bowed. It's hard to tell whether it was the warm weather or perhaps it was a mindset that the game was already over, but the course of the game changed entirely after the main break. Now it was Geelong's turn to win the ball out of the middle and to force its opponents into costly mistakes and bad turnovers. Playing inspired football, the Cats clawed their way back into the game by kicking a stunning eleven goals for the third term to cut Sandy's lead to just 16 points at three quarter time. It was probably to Sandy's good that any complacency that might have crept into the team, was extinguished so early in the season. The memory of the third term of the opening game will no doubt be recalled for the players by the coaching staff as the season unfolds. Still, the Cats kept on coming but Sandy's resistance was also strong. With an exhausted looking Byron Pickett being rested in the final quarter and Ezra Poyas also being nursed through his return from injury, the Zebras now had their backs to the wall and had to pluck up some resistance or be overrun in the finish. The team was able to steady thanks to the sterling efforts of Summers, Valenti, David Gallagher, the strength and brilliance of Sylvia and a tightened defence led by Ryan Ferguson. Sandringham managed to hold out the Cats and save the game aided also by some wayward kicking for goal by Geelong's forwards. However, the Cats were always under pressure in their efforts to catch up from such a long way behind and, like all good sides, the Zebras steadied when the going got tough. The game marked a major milestone for Chris Lamb who played his 100th for the Zebras. He was solid at centre half back and helped with some desperate saves but it wasn't his best game. The high scoring affair in which both sides booted over 20 goals in perfect conditions wasn't exactly made for defenders. It was also the debut game of young Sandringham Dragon Tomi Johnston who joined brother Marc, playing only his third game. The sons of former Carlton champion Wayne "The Dominator" Johnston had minor roles coming off the bench but both showed they would be useful players at the club. Slightly built Tomi showed some exciting skills and courage and looks to have a bright future. It was fitting in the end that Paul Johnson, the dominant ruckman on the day, managed to snaffle the ball and pass to the dominant forward of the game, Nick Sautner, who scored the goal thirty seconds from the final siren to save the match for the team and to see it home by 23.11.149 to 20.19.139. The club recently announced boxing superstar Sam "King" Soliman was its new number one celebrity member for 2007 but it was once again Sautner who delivered the knock out punch. Next Sunday the Zebras take on Werribee at Bartercard Oval, Werribee. Seniors at 2.00pm, Reserves at 11.20am. And so the magic carpet ride continues ... HOW THE DEMONS FARED Simon Buckley - a player with explosive pace and all of the athletic ability necessary to play the game at the highest level. He was played mainly at halfback where he displayed a good approach on the football and generally disposed of it well. He is still on a steep learning curve as he showed when he tried to mark from behind instead of spoil deep in defence during the last quarter. However, at his very next opportunity, he did the right thing and punched the ball away from his opponent’s hands. Ryan Ferguson - in a game where both defences were under siege Ferguson was better than most but that doesn't really say much at all. His marking was very good and some of defensive work was adequate but he let himself down with poor disposal and he was guilty at times of some very ordinary decision-making. On one occasion, he punched the ball into the middle corridor when he should have marked (or at least punched in the direction of the boundary) and he also committed a few other clangers that resulted in opposition goals. Colin Garland - started like a house on fire and was dangerous early with two goals and an assist to Colin Sylvia but faded as the game wore on and spent time on the bench. Has good hands, is mobile and also plays tall. An exciting player of the future but probably not ready for AFL until 2008. Ben Holland - Benny played a better game against St. Kilda last Friday week after which he was dropped to play in this game. I think that just about sums it all up apart from the fact that he did mark and goal at a crucial time in the final quarter. Paul Johnson - probably the most effective ruckman on the ground and he showed great mobility for a big man. Took some good marks, including a couple overhead, but committed a few obvious clangers under pressure before redeeming himself close to the end with a good pick up and pass in the Sautner direction, which resulted in the match saving goal. Shane Neaves - was reasonable given his role as second fiddle to Paul Johnson but there was nothing spectacular in his game. Michael Newton - the man is an enigma and a coach’s nightmare. He has freakish ability and great skills, especially his marking and kicking but he can be oh, so, frustrating at times. He started on a wing where some half-hearted tackling efforts and poor decision-making earned him time on the bench. After his return, he worked his way back into the game and in the final quarter, he kicked a beautiful (and much needed) goal and took the mark of the day to cut off a threatening Geelong forward thrust. If and when Newton learns to concentrate on his game for four quarters, he will be an absolute beauty but in the meantime, he is more on the erratic and unreliable side. To be fair, I don't think the small Beach Road Oval suits him and he didn't appear all that comfortable playing on a wing, but as I've said on a few occasions, players of his type can blossom into something special which is a prospect that's well worth waiting for! Ricky Petterd - the more the game went on, the more Petterd impressed me. He's very poised and balanced and he plays with a definite purpose. Give him another half a dozen games at this level and he will be ready for a crack at the big time. Byron Pickett - sadly overweight and unfit, returning from a hamstring injury and a trip to Perth for family reasons, Pickett managed a little over half a game intimidating opponents and providing some glimpses of his magic (e.g. that brilliant interception and goal) before running out of puff and spending the last quarter and a half on the bench. "He ran out of gas, we didn't want to run him into the ground," coach mark Williams said after the game. For AFL watchers, he’s a good few weeks away! Colin Sylvia - a sensational performance given his limited preparation and the fact that this was his first full match of four quarters this season. Played mainly on a forward flank and in the pocket, marked strongly, kicked three goals, menaced the opposition defenders with hard tackling and spoiling and proved that he is ready to take on the Cats again in a week's time but only on a different stage. Matthew Warnock - spent most of the first half sitting on the pine and then was sent into defence for the second half deluge of opposition goals. This alone alone is enough to suggest that he has a tough task ahead of him if he wants to play the game at the highest level. He has good pace and used it to advantage a couple of times but wasn't overly impressive. Adem Yze - kicked two goals and picked up 32 possessions playing mainly in midfield with a couple of stints at half forward. Contrary to what the Yze naysayers might think, he took his demotion like a champion and produced the goods for his team. I don't believe anyone could have asked more from him on the day. RESULTS Sandringham 8.5.53 16.8.104 19.10.124 23.11.149 Geelong 5.5.35 5.10.40 16.12.108 20.19.139 Goal Kickers: Sandringham N Sautner 7 C Sylvia 3 C Garland S Valenti A Yze 2 R Crowe R Ferguson B Holland P Johnson M Newton B Pickett P Summers Geelong S Johnson 5 C Urie 3 D Barnes J Davenport S Hogan M Spencer 2 J Byrne N Djerrkura T Grima S Hunt Best: Sandringham P Summers R Ferguson C Sylvia S Valenti N Sautner A Yze Geelong S Johnson D Barnes J Byrne H Playfair T West J Davenport RESERVES AMBUSHED The Sandy reserves were ambushed by a strong Box Hill reserves which took advantage of their senior team's bye to include two senior level AFL Hawthorn emergency list player’s for the Easter Monday's game - Jarryd Roughead and Michael Osborne as well as Josh Thurgood who also plenty of senior AFL experience. These players were easily the difference between the two sides. Box Hill Hawks are the reigning reserve grade premiers and they piled on nine goals in the opening quarter but the young Zebras fought manfully and went down by 47 points in the end. Rennie Gilchrist and Phil Zarra (4 goals) were the pick of the players. Demon rookie Daniel Hughes kicked three goals on return from a groin injury. RESULTS Sandringham 3.3.21 8.9.57 10.11.71 12.15.87 Box Hill Hawks 9.4.58 13.6.84 16.12.108 20.14.134 Goal Kickers: Sandringham P Zarra 4 D Hughes 3 D Gribbin K Hall S Martin S Monaghan S Tregear Box Hill Hawks J Roughead 8 D Bradshaw 3 M Osborne 2 J Allan S Daniher E Johnson A Marguccio L McEntee T Pollett J Thurgood Best: Sandringham R Gilchrist P Zarra S Monaghan P McGettigan M Gibb S Martin Box Hill Hawks M Osborne J Roughead D Marcius J Allan L McEntee A Quinn

A reminder from the Sandringham Football Club that the 2006 TRU Energy Premiership Flag will be unfurled before the game starts today!!! Following the flag unfurling - just before 1pm, the Zebras will take on 2006 runners up Geelong. After coming through the preseason undefeated the Zebras face the cats. The club is encouraging all Sandringham fans to get down to Trevor Barker Beach Oval and catch your first glimpse of the Zebras as they strive for a record breaking fourth VFL flag! Seniors: Sandringham Vs Geelong at 1.10pm The Reserves kick off with a game against 2006 reserve grade premiers Box Hill who knocked the Zebras out in last year's qualifying final. Reserves: Sandringham Vs Box Hill Hawks at 10.20am For further information please contact the club on 9598 8629.

DANCING WITH STARS by the Oracle As they say in the classics, a week's a long time in football and don't I know it? Last week I was jumping out of my skin in anticipation of the start of the 2007 AFL season. Friday night couldn't come around quickly enough. When the time came, things began well for the Demons who were strong favourites with the bookies. They jumped quickly out of the blocks to lead by 17 points - 3.2.20 to 0.3.3 with more than half of the first quarter gone but I wasn't about to start celebrating. After years of experience, I know Melbourne all too well! The events of the remainder of the evening are well documented; the team fell into the old familiar abyss it often inhabits just when you're convinced that a new day is about to dawn. Skills, tactics and good old football brains all went out of the window and the supporters were treated to garbage. Was this the same team that we had so eagerly waited to see for six months? Just like last year, we left the ground after game one totally crushed by the weight of seeing our team totally outplayed and outcoached! That was a week ago. By Saturday morning I was considering joining a monastery. A miserable weekend ensued during which I contemplated the possible ways in which I could avoid eyeball to eyeball confrontation on Monday morning with my St. Kilda supporting workmates. Stay away from the water cooler, keep your nose to the grindstone and look busy even if you aren't. That sort of stuff! Ultimately, I was forced to take my medicine and what a bitter pill it was to swallow from an inquisition of Saints fans who all asked one thing - what happened? How could a team that last year pounded Grant Thomas' charges through the midfield in such intimidating fashion in their Round 12 MCG clash and then repeated the dose in the Elimination Final go through such a rapid decline and be so pathetic? More soul-searching and more despair. By Tuesday night, the lady in my life took control and forced me to watch Dancing with the Stars in order to get my thoughts away from Friday night's disaster and thereby restore my life back to some semblance of order. This tactic failed dismally. I fell asleep in the middle of the programme only to dream of dancers swirling around in bright, red and blue gear. They were doing the tango but this version was badly rehearsed and poorly choreographed. Apparently, the tango originated in South America and is a dance with varying rhythms and changing tempos from slow, slow to quick, quick and then slow again resembling the majestic jaguar about to pounce on its prey. In my nightmare/dream however, these guys were more like another South American native animal, the sloth. They simply couldn't change out of a slow, slow gear and that was half the problem - there was dancing going on but there were certainly no stars out there! Wednesday morning saw me wakening in a cold sweat. My dream had ended at some time during the night when I handballed my pillow at the floor releasing a thousand white feathers. One white feather would have been enough! St. Kilda's pathetic effort at the Gabba on Thurday night didn't make me feel any better but, at least by now, I was coming to terms with my team's ineptitude. I was beginning to set my sights at a point a lot lower than where they were a week earlier. I accept now that Round 1 of 2007 was a reality check for the Melbourne Football Club. Like everything else in life, football form is an illusion, like the tango. It's just that some dance it better than others and my team can't dance all that well. Nor can it play good football at the moment and that is why Easter Monday's bottom-of-the-ladder battle is being hailed in some quarters as the fight for the first selection at the National Draft. You might say that's a trifle unkind considering the stage of the year but, from what we've seen in terms of enthusiasm and improvement from some of the other clubs in the competition, these two are eminently deserving of the early nomination. THE GAME: Hawthorn v Melbourne at the MCG - 9 April 2007 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD: Overall: Hawthorn 72 wins Melbourne 74 wins At the G: Hawthorn 32 wins Melbourne 36 wins Since 2000: Hawthorn 5 wins Melbourne 5 wins The Coaches: Clarkson 1 Daniher 1 MEDIA: TV: Channel 10 at 3pm (delayed telecast). RADIO: 3AW, SEN, TripleM, ABC774. THE BETTING: Melbourne to win $1.55 - Hawthorn to win $2.30. LAST TIME THEY MET: Melbourne 20.16.136 defeated Hawthorn 9.7.61 at the MCG in Round 8, 2006. David Neitz broke Norm Smith's club all time goal kicking record and finished with six goals. The Demon midfield was right in the frame with Brock McLean, Travis Johnstone and James McDonald the standouts. Meanwhile, the Hawks were an undisciplined rabble and Melbourne ran away to record its biggest victory of the season. THE TEAMS: HAWTHORN Backs: Danny Jacobs Trent Croad Brent Guerra Halfbacks: Brad Sewell Stephen Gilham Grant Birchall Centreline: Rick Ladson Sam Mitchell Chance Bateman Half forwards: Shane Crawford Lance Franklin Tim Clarke Forwards: Mark Williams Tim Boyle Clinton Young Followers: Simon Taylor Luke Hodge Jordan Lewis Interchange: Campbell Brown Robert Campbell Ben Dixon Xavier Ellis Emergencies: Ben McGlynn Michael Osborne Jarryd Roughead In: Brown Crawford Dixon Out: McGlynn Osborne Roughead MELBOURNE: Backs: Clint Bartram* Nathan Carroll Matthew Whelan Half backs: Daniel Ward Jared Rivers Daniel Bell Centreline: Brent Moloney James McDonald Brad Green Half forwards: Cameron Bruce Brad Miller Russell Robertson Forwards: Mark Jamar David Neitz Aaron Davey Followers: Jeff White Nathan Jones Travis Johnstone Interchange: Matthew Bate Nathan Brown Chris Johnson Paul Wheatley Emergencies: Bizzell Godfrey Yze In: Brown Rivers Wheatley Out: McLean (fractured foot) Holland Yze * Bizzell or Godfrey to come in for Bartram who injured a knee at training. Umpires: Brett Rosebury Damien Sully Shaun Ryan THE GAME PLAN: As the ladder suggests, Hawthorn performed as miserably as Melbourne did in its opening round encounter. The Hawks however, have more reason to believe that they can turn things around quickly. Hawthorn's defeat at the hands of the Brisbane Lions who finished 2006 in disarray and playing miserably, doesn't look so bad in the light of its form against St. Kilda on Thursday night. That the Demons lost to that Saints' rabble however, creates even more doubts as to their own poor form. The Hawks regain experienced trio Shane Crawford, Campbell Brown and Ben Dixon while the Demons lose Brock McLean (admittedly, he was injured early last week so he didn't have an impact). Hawthorn coach Alastair Clarkson pointed out during the week that the return of this trio would help turn around the club's fortunes by providing it with a lot of experience and some real grunt. Both sides were lacking in this area last week but the Hawks will be hardened after their humiliating loss to Brisbane. Melbourne's inclusions however, add very little to the combination which lost to the Saints apart from the return of Jared Rivers which will help fortify the defence. Demon coach Neale Daniher will be relying on his charges - particularly those in the midfield - to bounce back after most of his better players drew first up blanks. The coach's reaction to the lack of performance of the mainstays of his side last week was a bit of an understatement. "We probably had 17 players that struggled," Daniher said. Seventeen? In my estimation, the figure was closer to 22 but who's counting? The other concern - and the main one as far as I'm concerned - is the way in which the Demons are playing the game at the present time. When the two teams met in their NAB Cup clash earlier this year, Melbourne unveiled its new "run and carry" style of play. The Demons looked unimpressive but at least they were in control until just before three quarter time. After that they simply collapsed under the weight of the added workload necessary to play a game that involved a staggering increase in running with the ball and handballing rather than quick movement by foot. Ultimately, losing by 24 points, the team recorded an unprecedented number of 45 more handballs than kicks. What made things worse for the Demons was that many of the handballs were misdirected and unnecessarily put team mates under pressure. We were promised some modification to the style over time and an improvement with the return of more of the team regulars but there was little visible change through the preseason and it was still there for all to see against the Saints. The indications coming from the club were that we would see something a little different this week. Let's pray that we do because so far, the new style has been an unmitigated disaster. Its continued use might somehow help the club perform better later in the season but one wonders whether it will be worth it to come home like a steam train with consecutive victories in the last four rounds if we finish in 12th place overall with eight wins in total. The fact of the matter is that the same failings that were evident in Melbourne's Nab Cup debacle were repeated in the season opener. That very little changed in the intervening month and not much happened during the course of the first game indicates that the coach and the players are very slow on the uptake and that is bad news for the club, at least in the short term. In order for Melbourne to win this game its players will need to collectively revive their skills in virtually every facet and adopt an entirely different attitude towards their game. Given the slow response to this problem area from both players and coaching staff over the past month or so, I simply cannot see sufficient turnaround in the space of ten days to get them up, even against Hawthorn. The likes of Hodge, Mitchell and Crawford should hold the ascendancy in the middle and Melbourne will have to find something to put a stop to Lance Franklin who had the Demons mesmerised in the Nab Cup. If Trent Croad can hold David Neitz, the Demons will be in big trouble. As indicated earlier, the Demons have gained a reputation of being notoriously slow starters. During the Daniher era, his team has been a finalist on six occasions out of nine seasons but in only two of those years (2002 and 2005) did they open in convincing fashion with a victory. The slow start syndrome has struck the club again and while Monday is definitely the day to start dancing, it's hard to do that when you've got two left feet. I wish I could be proven wrong but on what Melbourne has dished up so far this year, you wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. Hawthorn by 27 points.

by the Oracle As they say in the classics, a week's a long time in football and don't I know it? Last week I was jumping out of my skin in anticipation of the start of the 2007 AFL season. Friday night couldn't come around quickly enough. When the time came, things began well for the Demons who were strong favourites with the bookies. They jumped quickly out of the blocks to lead by 17 points - 3.2.20 to 0.3.3 with more than half of the first quarter gone but I wasn't about to start celebrating. After years of experience, I know Melbourne all too well! The events of the remainder of the evening are well documented; the team fell into the old familiar abyss it often inhabits just when you're convinced that a new day is about to dawn. Skills, tactics and good old football brains all went out of the window and the supporters were treated to garbage. Was this the same team that we had so eagerly waited to see for six months? Just like last year, we left the ground after game one totally crushed by the weight of seeing our team totally outplayed and outcoached! That was a week ago. By Saturday morning I was considering joining a monastery. A miserable weekend ensued during which I contemplated the possible ways in which I could avoid eyeball to eyeball confrontation on Monday morning with my St. Kilda supporting workmates. Stay away from the water cooler, keep your nose to the grindstone and look busy even if you aren't. That sort of stuff! Ultimately, I was forced to take my medicine and what a bitter pill it was to swallow from an inquisition of Saints fans who all asked one thing - what happened? How could a team that last year pounded Grant Thomas' charges through the midfield in such intimidating fashion in their Round 12 MCG clash and then repeated the dose in the Elimination Final go through such a rapid decline and be so pathetic? More soul-searching and more despair. By Tuesday night, the lady in my life took control and forced me to watch Dancing with the Stars in order to get my thoughts away from Friday night's disaster and thereby restore my life back to some semblance of order This tactic failed dismally. I fell asleep in the middle of the programme only to dream of dancers swirling around in bright, red and blue gear. They were doing the tango but this version was badly rehearsed and poorly choreographed. Apparently, the tango originated in South America and is a dance with varying rhythms and changing tempos from slow, slow to quick, quick and then slow again resembling the majestic jaguar about to pounce on its prey. In my nightmare/dream however, these guys were more like another South American native animal, the sloth. They simply couldn't change out of a slow, slow gear and that was half the problem - there was dancing going on but there were certainly no stars out there! Wednesday morning saw me wakening in a cold sweat. My dream had ended at some time during the night when I handballed my pillow at the floor releasing a thousand white feathers. One white feather would have been enough! St. Kilda's pathetic effort at the Gabba on Thurday night didn't make me feel any better but, at least by now, I was coming to terms with my team's ineptitude. I was beginning to set my sights at a point a lot lower than where they were a week earlier. I accept now that Round 1 of 2007 was a reality check for the Melbourne Football Club. Like everything else in life, football form is an illusion, like the tango. It's just that some dance it better than others and my team can't dance all that well. Nor can it play good football at the moment and that is why Easter Monday's bottom-of-the-ladder battle is being hailed in some quarters as the fight for the first selection at the National Draft. You might say that's a trifle unkind considering the stage of the year but, from what we've seen in terms of enthusiasm and improvement from some of the other clubs in the competition, these two are eminently deserving of the early nomination. THE GAME: Hawthorn v Melbourne at the MCG - 9 April 2007 at 2.10pm HEAD TO HEAD: Overall: Hawthorn 72 wins Melbourne 74 wins At the G: Hawthorn 32 wins Melbourne 36 wins Since 2000: Hawthorn 5 wins Melbourne 5 wins The Coaches: Clarkson 1 Daniher 1 MEDIA: TV: Channel 10 at 3pm (delayed telecast). RADIO: 3AW, SEN, TripleM, ABC774. THE BETTING: Melbourne to win $1.55 - Hawthorn to win $2.30. LAST TIME THEY MET: Melbourne 20.16.136 defeated Hawthorn 9.7.61 at the MCG in Round 8, 2006. David Neitz broke Norm Smith's club all time goal kicking record and finished with six goals. The Demon midfield was right in the frame with Brock McLean, Travis Johnstone and James McDonald the standouts. Meanwhile, the Hawks were an undisciplined rabble and Melbourne ran away to record its biggest victory of the season. THE TEAMS: HAWTHORN Backs: Danny Jacobs Trent Croad Brent Guerra Halfbacks: Brad Sewell Stephen Gilham Grant Birchall Centreline: Rick Ladson Sam Mitchell Chance Bateman Half forwards: Shane Crawford Lance Franklin Tim Clarke Forwards: Mark Williams Tim Boyle Clinton Young Followers: Simon Taylor Luke Hodge Jordan Lewis Interchange (from): Campbell Brown Robert Campbell Ben Dixon Xavier Ellis Ben McGlynn Michael Osborne Jarryd Roughead In: Brown Crawford Dixon Out: MELBOURNE: Backs: Nathan Brown Nathan Carroll Matthew Whelan Half backs: Daniel Ward Jared Rivers Daniel Bell Centreline: Brent Moloney James McDonald Brad Green Half forwards: Cameron Bruce Brad Miller Russell Robertson Forwards: Mark Jamar David Neitz Aaron Davey Followers: Jeff White Nathan Jones Travis Johnstone Interchange: Matthew Bate Simon Godfrey Chris Johnson Paul Wheatley Emergencies: Clint Bizzell Adem Yze In: Brown Rivers Wheatley Out: McLean (fractured foot) Holland Yze Umpires: Brett Rosebury Damien Sully Shaun Ryan THE GAME PLAN: As the ladder suggests, Hawthorn performed as miserably as Melbourne did in its opening round encounter. The Hawks however, have more reason to believe that they can turn things around quickly. Hawthorn's defeat at the hands of the Brisbane Lions who finished 2006 in disarray and playing miserably, doesn't look so bad in the light of its form against St. Kilda on Thursday night. That the Demons lost to that Saints' rabble however, creates even more doubts as to their own poor form. The Hawks regain experienced trio Shane Crawford, Campbell Brown and Ben Dixon while the Demons lose Brock McLean (admittedly, he was injured early last week so he didn't have an impact). Hawthorn coach Alastair Clarkson pointed out during the week that the return of this trio would help turn around the club's fortunes by providing it with a lot of experience and some real grunt. Both sides were lacking in this area last week but the Hawks will be hardened after their humiliating loss to Brisbane. Melbourne's inclusions however, add very little to the combination which lost to the Saints apart from the return of Jared Rivers which will help fortify the defence. Demon coach Neale Daniher will be relying on his charges - particularly those in the midfield - to bounce back after most of his better players drew first up blanks. The coach's reaction to the lack of performance of the mainstays of his side last week was a bit of an understatement. "We probably had 17 players that struggled," Daniher said. Seventeen? In my estimation, the figure was closer to 22 but who's counting? The other concern - and the main one as far as I'm concerned - is the way in which the Demons are playing the game at the present time. When the two teams met in their NAB Cup clash earlier this year, Melbourne unveiled its new "run and carry" style of play. The Demons looked unimpressive but at least they were in control until just before three quarter time. After that they simply collapsed under the weight of the added workload necessary to play a game that involved a staggering increase in running with the ball and handballing rather than quick movement by foot. Ultimately, losing by 24 points, the team recorded an unprecedented number of 45 more handballs than kicks. What made things worse for the Demons was that many of the handballs were misdirected and unnecessarily put team mates under pressure. We were promised some modification to the style over time and an improvement with the return of more of the team regulars but there was little visible change through the preseason and it was still there for all to see against the Saints. The indications coming from the club were that we would see something a little different this week. Let's pray that we do because so far, the new style has been an unmitigated disaster. Its continued use might somehow help the club perform better later in the season but one wonders whether it will be worth it to come home like a steam train with consecutive victories in the last four rounds if we finish in 12th place overall with eight wins in total. The fact of the matter is that the same failings that were evident in Melbourne's Nab Cup debacle were repeated in the season opener. That very little changed in the intervening month and not much happened during the course of the first game indicates that the coach and the players are very slow on the uptake and that is bad news for the club, at least in the short term. In order for Melbourne to win this game its players will need to collectively revive their skills in virtually every facet and adopt an entirely different attitude towards their game. Given the slow response to this problem area from both players and coaching staff over the past month or so, I simply cannot see sufficient turnaround in the space of ten days to get them up, even against Hawthorn. The likes of Hodge, Mitchell and Crawford should hold the ascendancy in the middle and Melbourne will have to find something to put a stop to Lance Franklin who had the Demons mesmerised in the Nab Cup. If Trent Croad can hold David Neitz, the Demons will be in big trouble. As indicated earlier, the Demons have gained a reputation of being notoriously slow starters. During the Daniher era, his team has been a finalist on six occasions out of nine seasons but in only two of those years (2002 and 2005) did they open in convincing fashion with a victory. The slow start syndrome has struck the club again and while Monday is definitely the day to start dancing, it's hard to do that when you've got two left feet. I wish I could be proven wrong but on what Melbourne has dished up so far this year, you wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. Hawthorn by 27 points.

I have accepted the first three nominations i.e. dees_rule_4eva, Clint Bizkit and CarnTheDees. The current standings therefore are:- 15. Brent Moloney 13. Ben Holland 12. David Neitz 11. Russell Robertson 5. Nathan Jones 3. Daniel Ward, Jeff White 1. James McDonald The first people to volunteer to give votes for next week's game will be accepted as next week's voters. Votes must be in by midday Tuesday AEST.

However, it should be noted that both the Age and the Herald Sun quote Chris Fagan.

Our tipsters were loyal to the Demons in Round 1 so nobody tipped 8 winners. In fact we couldn't get one Demonlander to better the 50% tipping mark so the tipsters were on par with their team. Let's hope for something better next weekend and, incidentally, congratulations to Alpha for getting the bagel. 4 achirnside, bl3281, canberrademon(herb), Dappadan, demon_davey, DeMoNiC, Demonland, great_gatsby, Kieranbj, melon22, petejh2000, rusty_corner, TimDees, Whispering_Jack. 3 Clyde_Cabbie, deanox, dee'viator, Dees_Fan16, deesthisyear, demon_fanatic, Go_Ds, Goodvibes, Jackieboy_0, jaded24, KrazyJay, paliosiana, Pinball_Wizard, rusty_kingswood, Scoop Junior, slamevil. 2 BigKev Demon, CarnTheDees, Fingers Power, No Cigar, Rivers Run Red, snarler_0. 0 Alpha_33

WANTED: A PLAN FOR ALL SEASONS by Scoop Junior Melbourne started the season in disastrous fashion at the MCG on Friday night when it went down to St Kilda by 31 points and in the process lost gun midfielder Brock McLean to an ankle injury. In a performance as disappointing as last year's opening round loss to eventual wooden-spooner Carlton, the Demons were simply no match for a more desperate and structured Saints outfit. Probably the most disheartening aspect of the match was the systematic dismantling of Melbourne's game plan. If what we saw was the unveiling of a new game plan for this season it needs to be re-examined because it simply was not allowed to work. The players were made to look like a bunch of amateurs with absolutely no idea where to run and where to deliver the ball. While full credit must go to the Saints for placing enormous pressure on the ball carrier, it's really no excuse for the brand of footy Melbourne played. Very little seems to have been learned from the mistakes made in executing the plan during the four pre-season matches. In any evernt, you would rarely see an AFL team play with such little conviction and drive. The use of handball was diabolical. Even junior footballers know that the handball is used as an attacking weapon to draw players towards you and to feed team mates running past in better position. For some strange reason, Melbourne continually handballed to players standing still, which always puts pressure on that player. Too often the team linked up with a chain of handballs but only proceeded to run directly into a wall of three or four St Kilda players. Handball can be an effective tactic if used properly; but it's a high-return high-risk policy and the Dees totally bombed out in this regard. The signs weren't great early, especially with the kick-outs. Melbourne struggled to clear the ball from defensive 50. Frequently, they went sideways, chipped up the line, then backwards to the goal square, then switched to the other side, then back to the middle again and eventually turned the ball over. The Dees could not penetrate through the midfield and this gave the forwards little chance. St Kilda did not allow free men through the middle so the Demons could not chip their way forward, and when they tried to run and carry the ball forward, the result was inevitably a holding the ball decision in the Saints' favour. With Melbourne's complete inability to string passages of play together, the result was a paltry 21 inside 50's to three quarter time. A disturbing aspect of the game was the turnaround in efficiency. Last year, the Dees were a very efficient side and despite not generating high possession totals, managed to engineer sufficient inside 50's and scoring shots to win games. Last night, Melbourne overused the footy and racked up meaningless possessions. Again, credit must go St Kilda's tactics. They locked down the Demons’ most dangerous user in Travis Johnstone and allowed less skilful players such as Ben Holland to find the footy. However, too many Melbourne players froze like deer caught in the headlights when they had the ball and this highlighted not only St Kilda’s excellent pressure, but also a lack of confidence in the game plan. Another intriguing part of the game was the latitude given to Fraser Gehrig. The big forward was making a mess of Nathan Carroll, yet was allowed to play one-out for most of the night. Very rarely were the Dees able to get a third man up or at least create a pack contest. In stark contrast, the Saints players ran harder to crowd David Neitz who at times appeared the only avenue to goal. This work rate was replicated in midfield where the Saints were just too hard and prepared to run offensively and defensively. Melbourne was simply lazy and did not show the same level of commitment. Given the way the game panned out, the forwards were given little chance. Neitz and Russell Robertson battled manfully against the odds, with both players kicking three goals, an excellent result given the lack of quality supply forward of centre. Brad Miller was quiet and just does too many things in a game of football that are not up to AFL standard. He is a worry. Aaron Davey was pitiful. Adem Yze came off the bench and had an impact. He certainly wasn't one of the worst, but a really poor effort on the wing in the last term when he overran the ball by failing to fully commit to the cause and put his head over it was further confirmation of a disturbing downhill trend in his game. Down back, the defenders were swamped. Having said that, though, none could really hold their heads high. Gehrig took Carroll to the cleaners, Daniel Bell made mistakes and generally struggled and Holland made some comical errors but did work hard. Daniel Ward provided some dash and at least tried to take the game on, while Matty Whelan's early injury finished his night off. But clearly it was the midfield that let the side down. Having been talked up all pre-season, the Melbourne midfield was pathetic last night. Senior players Cameron Bruce, Brad Green and Johnstone did not play at the levels they need to given their roles in the team. Bruce only had six kicks; probably a good outcome given his propensity on the night to resort to helicopter punts. Green had little impact while Johnstone butchered the ball far too often for a player of his talent. In a game where the side has no system, Johnstone will always turn the ball over because he is constantly looking for a way to break the game open and will take risks in the process. I commend this part of his game, but he does need to be a bit smarter in his ball use when the pressure is on. James McDonald battled hard and was one of a few players who played with the requisite hardness. Another was Brent Moloney, who was probably the best midfielder. Beamer showed glimpses of his 2005 form and will need to step up again given McLean’s absence. Before his injury, Brock seemed all at sea and clearly suffered from a lack of match practice. He was just a few seconds behind the speed of the game and this contributed to his injury when he took far to long to dispose of the ball. The midfield youngsters didn’t have great nights. Chris Johnson was unsighted in the first half before picking up a few touches later in the game, while Matthew Bate looked out of sorts. The big redhead can look a bit robotic at times and just needs to be more aware of what is happening around him. He clearly suffered from the strangled midfield tactics applied by the Saints. Nathan Jones worked hard but had little impact after quarter time. Like all other midfielders, he just could not find space to work in. I thought Jeff White was a gallant contributor and played a fair game but his back up in Jamar just went. The ruck combination continues to be a concern. The only positive news is that it's only Round 1. Sydney was smashed by the Dons in Round 1 last year and made the top four. Carlton beat Melbourne and finished bottom with only two more wins. The season is indeed a marathon and one loss in the first game is definitely not the time to slash wrists. The Dees are clearly a much better team than what they showed. However, they will want to improve drastically on their game style. Last night was the performance of a team with no structure and no conviction in the game plan. While it is early in the season, a few more performances like that will not only dent confidence but will place enormous pressure on the top four aspirations of the club. To make the top four, you probably can't afford to lose more than eight games. With plenty of difficult assignments to come away from home, the losses will come, so it’s imperative not to drop too many early in the year. Melbourne 4.2.26 6.3.39 6.5.41 9.8.62 St. Kilda 2.7.19 7.7.49 11.12.76 13.15.93 Goals Neitz 3 Robertson 3 Bruce Green White Best Moloney Neitz Robertson White McDonald Injuries McLean (ankle) Whelan (neck spasms) Reports Nil Umpires McBurney Stevic Meredith Crowd 49,490 at the MCG