Demonland

There seems to be a software bug for being able to use those features on an iPhone or iPad which should be rectified in the next software update, I have already submitted a bug report about that. You can still post from those devices you just can't format the text to font size 6 or in red or bold but who needs that anyway.

in the top left hand of the reply box there is a button that when you put the mouse over it it says BBCode. Click that and that should light up the font changing stuff.

Test from ipadFix for posting from iPad:If you posted this from your iPhone & iPad then this is why this happened. it is the same issue that is effecting the PC browsers. I was able to fix the issue by going to Settings > Safari > Clear History and Clear Cookies and Data.

Another test from PC browser

It seems to only be happening from my iPhone. I will investigate.

Mobile skin test

If you posted this from your iPhone then this is why this happened. it is the same issue that is effecting the PC browsers. I was able to fix the issue by going to Settings > Safari > Clear History and Clear Cookies and Data. Unfortunately this clears all browsing history and login details for sites that you have visited but it makes everything work again.

Something's also happened to the way the quote boxes are set out.Can this be fixed?Test

test

We upgraded the forum software and for some reason your browser cache may be out of date. In order to get things going again you may need to go into a thread and press CTRL + F5 (Windows) or F5 (Mac) to fix it. Or you may not need to do anything. According to the Tech Support people only a small number of people and browsers are effected by this and the above method is the work around or after a day or two your browser cache will automatically update itself. Post in here to let me know if it is working for you. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Deleted threads used to go straight to the Trash Forum (only Mods and Admins can see it) but deleted threads are no longer going there they are just mysteriously disappearing into the ether. Again Nasher has backups of the database but I still don't know if that is enough to resurrect the thread.

That's more of a Nasher thing. If it can be restored it will.

Things were looking pretty good when 2012 dawned. We had a new coach with many new assistants and we were on top of the world. Then things went awry and our enemies tried their very best to destroy us and it nearly was the end ... but now, with new found strength, we're on our way back like the hero of this advertisement - the Big Cheese ...

Things were looking pretty good when 2012 dawned. We had a new coach with many new assistants and we were on top of the world. Then things went awry and our enemies tried their very best to destroy us and it nearly was the end ... but now, with new found strength, we're on our way back like the hero of this advertisement - the Big Cheese ...

Big thanks from everyone to Nasher. He's the one man engine room of Demonland.

The issue we were having is back.

Working on it now. Not sure why it is broken.

DRAFTING FOR THE NEW, NEW AGE by Whispering Jack The AFL's decision to revert to the practice of announcing the top ten draft picks in their proper order at the national draft has prompted me to make a decision of my own. This preview which looks at the draft from Melbourne's perspective at the beginning of the club's "new, new age" will be done in true contrarian fashion. Despite the AFL's stance, I'll be announcing my fancies in reverse order. Well ... not exactly in reverse order but I'll meander my way around the club's recruiting selections and end with its first pick which, subject to the whims of the AFL's version of the KGB, should still be number 4 overall. The draft itself will be held at the Gold Coast on 22 November which in itself, is an ominous date for Demon fans now living in a state of paranoia over the tanking inquiry. Surely, it's no coincidence that this was scheduled to take place on the anniversary of JFK's assassination, an event foremost in the minds of conspiracy theorists the world over? Matters have not been helped by rumours of listening devices in the players' locker room at AAMI Park, the sighting of an Age reporter walking her rottweiler near the club's training facilities rummaging through nearby bins searching for scraps of evidence for her next big exposé and the pronouncement by the club's defiant bootstudder that despite four sets of interrogations during which he was subjected to waterboarding and bamboo under the fingernails torture, "they" would never force him to confess that the players ran out in that fateful game against Richmond in 2009 wearing boots that were several sizes too small. The fact is they're breeding everybody tough at the Melbourne Football Club these days. This applies to all of us in the club's new, new age, be it the fans (who were this week described as "ferals" for the first time in history) as well as the board, officials and the players.If you hadn't noticed, we're on a war footing. We're ready to face and conquer the enemy and that's reflected in everything, including the club's new recruiting policy. The new, new age is not about peace, flowers, harmony and understanding. That's the old, new age of puny little underweight nancy boys running around the wide open spaces of the MCG that was adopted immediately after the demise of the great Norm Smith. That was a completely different "new age" back in the late 1960's which coincided with the end of the club's golden era, a new age that we were seduced into embracing with near fatal results: [media=] But that's over now. Done and dusted. The new, new age Demons will be pushovers no more. To understand this, let's now look a little closer at the forthcoming draft. For the sake of everyone's sanity I will proceed as if there's no investigation, nothing will happen in the next 1½ weeks and the draft will proceed more or less as planned give or take a pick or two that Adelaide might lose given its admission of wrongdoing over Kurt Tippett's contract. Actually, the reason why I'm using the reverse order is because some of Melbourne's drafting has already been done via the events of October's exchange period when the Demons managed to pick up some rare gems a month early. As always, I rely for assistance on the judgement of our resident draft expert Stevo and the pen pictures of players from that magnificent publication Inside Football. The club started off its 2012 trade activities with a major coup when it snared Jack Viney under the father son rule with a second round pick (#27 overall) after the Giants and the Suns opted not to nominate the son of Todd at the risk of losing their early picks (1 and 2 respectively). Here's his pen pic: Enough's been said of Jack but I will add that I've been of the view since watching him devour the opposition in last year's TAC Cup Grand Final when a bottom ager that he's the best thing going around since sliced bread. He's tough and he's driven and looks the type who can help introduce the hard edge that's been missing around the place for a couple of decades. He could well become Melbourne's symbol of the new, new age. The Demons followed that up with a trade that saw them collect a youngster who shone in the draft combine testing and another considered the best young key position prospect in the country. The rules mandate that we must wait until 2014 for Jesse Hogan but the wraps on him are great and suggest the wait will be worthwhile. In keeping with the new, new age policy of recruiting, he's tall, he's tough and he's mean. This is what Brisbane Lions national talent manager Rob Kerr said about him in Lion's Share The club then went through its busiest trading period in years, picking up Shannon Byrnes (a free agent), Chris Dawes, Cameron Pedersen and David Rodan and, as we speak, is still working on a possible delisted free agent selection but it won't be Brisbane's Cheynee Stiller who was given permission to train with the club but has announced his retirement from the game. The jury is still out on Melbourne's trading but the club has to be given an A for effort in its quest to get itself out of the mire. It jettisoned a number of players who didn't suit Mark Neeld's blueprint for the future, brought in some solid citizens and some of the best young talent in the land. Of course, that wasn't enough for some media nuff nuff who tried to write it all off without any justification other than that it was a "scattergun approach". So what of the big event on the Gold Coast? I'm assuming that the Demons will leave a pick for the Pre Season Draft in December which could see them with only two or three "live" picks on draft night - picks 49 (and maybe 53) and 4 - which won't make it such a big event after all. Stevo wouldn't even hazard a guess at who might still be available at 49 or 53 if we decide to activate the pick. My hunch is a more mature aged late starter from one of the State Leagues on account of the fact that Mark Neeld emphasised the specific role of Kelly O'Donnell as a spotter of talent from these competitions. This fits in well with picks in the 40's and 50's which are good spots to strike from if you have a smokey or two hidden away in your kit bag. And that gets us front and centre with pick 4. Much depends of course on who the Giants go for with their picks at 1, 2 and 3 but Stevo believes the Dees will go for a midfielder and he reckons it will be one of these three: All three are quality midfielders, albeit each with his own qualities. It's good to know that there's a strong chance that one will be a Demon within the next fortnight. The jungle drums are beating loudly that it will be Wines and what a wonderful fairy story that would be for our club after the shellacking it's been getting in the media lately? Viney on Wines:- ''I don't know anyone more competitive than Ollie, or anyone that hates losing as much as he does. That's when he cracks the shits, when he loses. He goes nuts and would do anything to turn things around." The two have been mates since their pre pubescent days on the Murray River close to where Ned Kelly and his bushranger mates used to ply their trade. Even in those times, they were plotting the downfall of the AFL's big guns and, with blokes of the calibre of these two in the side, we know that the new, new age Demons will no longer be an easy target both on and off the field. FOOTNOTE Historically, the Melbourne Football Club made a dreadful error when it embraced the new Age of Aquarius back in the late 1960s. In doing so, the club ceased to be "shocking and awful"; it lost its hard edge and it's heritage of toughness. Now, as the new, new age sweeps into the club, it's back to following the lead of the subject of this interview who it forsook those many years ago: http://youtu.be/WKAWCVXw01U

The AFL's decision to revert to the practice of announcing the top ten draft picks in their proper order at the national draft has prompted me to make a decision of my own. This preview which looks at the draft from Melbourne's perspective at the beginning of the club's "new, new age" will be done in true contrarian fashion. Despite the AFL's stance, I'll be announcing my fancies in reverse order. Well ... not exactly in reverse order but I'll meander my way around the club's recruiting selections and end with its first pick which, subject to the whims of the AFL's version of the KGB, should still be number 4 overall. The draft itself will be held at the Gold Coast on 22 November which in itself, is an ominous date for Demon fans now living in a state of paranoia over the tanking inquiry. Surely, it's no coincidence that this was scheduled to take place on the anniversary of JFK's assassination, an event foremost in the minds of conspiracy theorists the world over? Matters have not been helped by rumours of listening devices in the players' locker room at AAMI Park, the sighting of an Age reporter walking her rottweiler near the club's training facilities rummaging through nearby bins searching for scraps of evidence for her next big exposé and the pronouncement by the club's defiant bootstudder that despite four sets of interrogations during which he was subjected to waterboarding and bamboo under the fingernails torture, "they" would never force him to confess that the players ran out in that fateful game against Richmond in 2009 wearing boots that were several sizes too small. The fact is they're breeding everybody tough at the Melbourne Football Club these days. This applies to all of us in the club's new, new age, be it the fans (who were this week described as "ferals" for the first time in history) as well as the board, officials and the players.If you hadn't noticed, we're on a war footing. We're ready to face and conquer the enemy and that's reflected in everything, including the club's new recruiting policy. The new, new age is not about peace, flowers, harmony and understanding. That's the old, new age of puny little underweight nancy boys running around the wide open spaces of the MCG that was adopted immediately after the demise of the great Norm Smith. That was a completely different "new age" back in the late 1960's which coincided with the end of the club's golden era, a new age that we were seduced into embracing with near fatal results: [media=] http://youtu.be/w3I1y3jHgxA But that's over now. Done and dusted. The new, new age Demons will be pushovers no more. To understand this, let's now look a little closer at the forthcoming draft. For the sake of everyone's sanity I will proceed as if there's no investigation, nothing will happen in the next 1½ weeks and the draft will proceed more or less as planned give or take a pick or two that Adelaide might lose given its admission of wrongdoing over Kurt Tippett's contract. Actually, the reason why I'm using the reverse order is because some of Melbourne's drafting has already been done via the events of October's exchange period when the Demons managed to pick up some rare gems a month early. As always, I rely for assistance on the judgement of our resident draft expert Stevo and the pen pictures of players from that magnificent publication Inside Football. The club started off its 2012 trade activities with a major coup when it snared Jack Viney under the father son rule with a second round pick (#27 overall) after the Giants and the Suns opted not to nominate the son of Todd at the risk of losing their early picks (1 and 2 respectively). Here's his pen pic: Enough's been said of Jack but I will add that I've been of the view since watching him devour the opposition in last year's TAC Cup Grand Final when a bottom ager that he's the best thing going around since sliced bread. He's tough and he's driven and looks the type who can help introduce the hard edge that's been missing around the place for a couple of decades. He could well become Melbourne's symbol of the new, new age. The Demons followed that up with a trade that saw them collect a youngster who shone in the draft combine testing and another considered the best young key position prospect in the country. The rules mandate that we must wait until 2014 for Jesse Hogan but the wraps on him are great and suggest the wait will be worthwhile. In keeping with the new, new age policy of recruiting, he's tall, he's tough and he's mean. This is what Brisbane Lions national talent manager Rob Kerr said about him in http://www.afl.com.au/tabid/208/default.aspx?newsid=150840'>Lion's Share The club then went through its busiest trading period in years, picking up Shannon Byrnes (a free agent), Chris Dawes, Cameron Pedersen and David Rodan and, as we speak, is still working on a possible delisted free agent selection but it won't be Brisbane's Cheynee Stiller who was given permission to train with the club but has announced his retirement from the game. The jury is still out on Melbourne's trading but the club has to be given an A for effort in its quest to get itself out of the mire. It jettisoned a number of players who didn't suit Mark Neeld's blueprint for the future, brought in some solid citizens and some of the best young talent in the land. Of course, that wasn't enough for some media nuff nuff who tried to write it all off without any justification other than that it was a "scattergun approach". So what of the big event on the Gold Coast? I'm assuming that the Demons will leave a pick for the Pre Season Draft in December which could see them with only two or three "live" picks on draft night - picks 49 (and maybe 53) and 4 - which won't make it such a big event after all. Stevo wouldn't even hazard a guess at who might still be available at 49 or 53 if we decide to activate the pick. My hunch is a more mature aged late starter from one of the State Leagues on account of the fact that Mark Neeld emphasised the specific role of Kelly O'Donnell as a spotter of talent from these competitions. This fits in well with picks in the 40's and 50's which are good spots to strike from if you have a smokey or two hidden away in your kit bag. And that gets us front and centre with pick 4. Much depends of course on who the Giants go for with their picks at 1, 2 and 3 but Stevo believes the Dees will go for a midfielder and he reckons it will be one of these three: All three are quality midfielders, albeit each with his own qualities. It's good to know that there's a strong chance that one will be a Demon within the next fortnight. The jungle drums are beating loudly that it will be Wines and http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/the-two-of-us-viney-and-wines-20121006-276ao.html'>what a wonderful fairy story that would be for our club after the shellacking it's been getting in the media lately? Viney on Wines:- ''I don't know anyone more competitive than Ollie, or anyone that hates losing as much as he does. That's when he cracks the shits, when he loses. He goes nuts and would do anything to turn things around." The two have been mates since their pre pubescent days on the Murray River close to where Ned Kelly and his bushranger mates used to ply their trade. Even in those times, they were plotting the downfall of the AFL's big guns and, with blokes of the calibre of these two in the side, we know that the new, new age Demons will no longer be an easy target both on and off the field. FOOTNOTE Historically, the Melbourne Football Club made a dreadful error when it embraced the new Age of Aquarius back in the late 1960s. In doing so, the club ceased to be "shocking and awful"; it lost its hard edge and it's heritage of toughness. Now, as the new, new age sweeps into the club, it's back to following the lead of the subject of this interview who it forsook those many years ago: http://youtu.be/WKAWCVXw01U

Lucky I hadn't finished photoshopping him into the Demonland Banner for 2013.

THE TIMING OF THE SHREW by Whispering Jack "No shame but mine. I must, forsooth, be forced To give my hand, opposed against my heart Unto a mad-brain rudesby, full of spleen Who wooed in haste and means to wed at leisure" William Shakespeare The Taming of the Shrew Imagine if the Age newspaper published an opinion piece tomorrow on Adrian Bayley, accused killer of Jill Meagher, in which the author pronounced him guilty beyond any doubt of murder even though the trial is months away? What if it was suggested that the appropriate punishment for such a heinous crime was nothing less than life in prison to be served in solitary confinement for the next ten years? There are those who care little for the rights of the accused in such circumstances but in reality, it is the respect for those rights that is the very cornerstone of our democratic society. Without the rule of law, our society sinks into the realm of the uncivilised. Three years ago, the Council of the International Bar Association passed a resolution endorsing this definition of the rule of law: "An independent, impartial judiciary; the presumption of innocence; the right to a fair and public trial without undue delay; a rational and proportionate approach to punishment; a strong and independent legal profession; strict protection of confidential communications between lawyer and client; equality of all before the law; these are all fundamental principles of the Rule of Law." What this means is that in the context of the AFL's current investigation into the Melbourne Football Club's activities in the same year as the passing of the above resolution, there is no place for sensationalist opinion pieces such as that written by Caroline Wilson and published yesterday in the Age. Wilson may well know more than she's letting on but playing judge, jury and executioner based on the evidence presented by her this week is not helpful to her reputation as a journalist or to her readers' understanding of the matter. What she has done is to treat her readers to rumour, innuendo, supposition, double meaning, lack of context, smoke and mirrors and general palaver that may or may not stand scrutiny in a court of law. Most of it fails to address the basic fact that for a decade before 1999, the AFL and its leadership set a certain standard as to what defines "tanking", the loose word that's supposed to describe the offence being investigated. During that period, there was an almost annual outcry about one team or another deliberately trying to lose games to achieve a better outcome in the draft and the AFL condoned the practice as long as it didn't involve a direct order to the players to lose matches. After the infamous Kreuzer Cup in round 22, 2007 an employee of the "losing" team, Carlton spoke about his concern about how that game was played. The AFL's investigation lasted about 15 minutes after which the world was told there was nothing to see here; move along. The message was loud and clear. Once your season is over in terms of your capacity to make the finals, you can send players off for surgery, play them out of position, interchange them when they're firing and, if you're permitted to do that, then surely you're also allowed to meet and discuss such things among yourselves, joke about them and even brag to your sponsors that things are going to get better next year because you managed to pick up a priority pick? I was never comfortable with this but, as Patrick Smith pointed out in the Australian yesterday, the AFL's position has always been based on Andrew Demetriou's narrow definition of tanking. "Demetriou's understanding allows for only direct action taken on the field of play - instructing a player to deliberately kick a point when a goal would have won the match - as tanking. According to Demetriou, putting inferior players on the field, resting elite ones, playing others in unsuitable positions, taking influential players off the ground are all examples of list management and experimentation. They do not define tanking." So what is Wilson telling us when she describes Melbourne's conduct in 2009 as shocking and awful? That it was worse than those other clubs including West Coast, Carlton, Collingwood, Richmond, Hawthorn, the Western Bulldogs, St. Kilda and Fremantle that have lost sufficient games to qualify for priority picks but have (to date at least) not been investigated by the AFL? That the investigators have already found the club guilty even though it has yet been charged, has not seen the evidence against it or had the opportunity to put forward the case in its defence? I look at that definition of the rule of law above and I can only conclude that the Age and Wilson have trampled all over Melbourne's rights in the past week. If the AFL has been involved at all in supplying her with information/conclusions then they've created a fine mess for themselves and are about to help a lot of lawyers to educate their children at expensive private schools. Not only that, but Wilson has been disingenuous in the way in which she's gone about her business and in the timing of her articles. Her stories this week remind me of this famous scene from the Pink Panther - Inspector Clouseau was led by the concierge to believe that the dog on the floor in front on him didn't bite but he omitted an important fact - that it wasn't the concierge's dog. Who knows what manner of tanking Wilson's been writing about this week but is it the sort that would enable the AFL to apply sanctions against Melbourne without opening a Pandora's can of worms involving half the other clubs in the competition? Finally, what is it about Wilson and Demon CEO Cameron Schwab? Apart from a reference to him appearing "grim-faced" after Melbourne's third win of the season when the club was still two wins away from losing a priority pick (perhaps the chicken vindaloo at the president's lunch was off that day?), I don't quite see what he's done to deserve the gallows. Strangely enough, I've yet to find a Wilson article involving Schwab in which she has anything nice to say about him. It's almost as if there's a deep-seated rift between the Wilsons and the Schwabs going back centuries all the way to Shakespearean times, one that evokes visions of a shrewish Liz Taylor, mouth frothing and begging to be tamed. Taylor, of course, was acting.

"No shame but mine. I must, forsooth, be forced To give my hand, opposed against my heart Unto a mad-brain rudesby, full of spleen Who wooed in haste and means to wed at leisure" William Shakespeare The Taming of the Shrew Imagine if the Age newspaper published an opinion piece tomorrow on Adrian Bayley, accused killer of Jill Meagher, in which the author pronounced him guilty beyond any doubt of murder even though the trial is months away? What if it was suggested that the appropriate punishment for such a heinous crime was nothing less than life in prison to be served in solitary confinement for the next ten years? There are those who care little for the rights of the accused in such circumstances but in reality, it is the respect for those rights that is the very cornerstone of our democratic society. Without the rule of law, our society sinks into the realm of the uncivilised. Three years ago, the Council of the International Bar Association passed a resolution endorsing this definition of the rule of law: "An independent, impartial judiciary; the presumption of innocence; the right to a fair and public trial without undue delay; a rational and proportionate approach to punishment; a strong and independent legal profession; strict protection of confidential communications between lawyer and client; equality of all before the law; these are all fundamental principles of the Rule of Law." What this means is that in the context of the AFL's current investigation into the Melbourne Football Club's activities in the same year as the passing of the above resolution, there is no place for sensationalist opinion pieces such as that written by Caroline Wilson and published yesterday in the Age. Wilson may well know more than she's letting on but playing judge, jury and executioner based on the evidence presented by her this week is not helpful to her reputation as a journalist or to her readers' understanding of the matter. What she has done is to treat her readers to rumour, innuendo, supposition, double meaning, lack of context, smoke and mirrors and general palaver that may or may not stand scrutiny in a court of law. Most of it fails to address the basic fact that for a decade before 1999, the AFL and its leadership set a certain standard as to what defines "tanking", the loose word that's supposed to describe the offence being investigated. During that period, there was an almost annual outcry about one team or another deliberately trying to lose games to achieve a better outcome in the draft and the AFL condoned the practice as long as it didn't involve a direct order to the players to lose matches. After the infamous Kreuzer Cup in round 22, 2007 an employee of the "losing" team, Carlton spoke about his concern about how that game was played. The AFL's investigation lasted about 15 minutes after which the world was told there was nothing to see here; move along. The message was loud and clear. Once your season is over in terms of your capacity to make the finals, you can send players off for surgery, play them out of position, interchange them when they're firing and, if you're permitted to do that, then surely you're also allowed to meet and discuss such things among yourselves, joke about them and even brag to your sponsors that things are going to get better next year because you managed to pick up a priority pick? I was never comfortable with this but, as Patrick Smith pointed out in the Australian yesterday, the AFL's position has always been based on Andrew Demetriou's narrow definition of tanking. "Demetriou's understanding allows for only direct action taken on the field of play - instructing a player to deliberately kick a point when a goal would have won the match - as tanking. According to Demetriou, putting inferior players on the field, resting elite ones, playing others in unsuitable positions, taking influential players off the ground are all examples of list management and experimentation. They do not define tanking." So what is Wilson telling us when she describes Melbourne's conduct in 2009 as shocking and awful? That it was worse than those other clubs including West Coast, Carlton, Collingwood, Richmond, Hawthorn, the Western Bulldogs, St. Kilda and Fremantle that have lost sufficient games to qualify for priority picks but have (to date at least) not been investigated by the AFL? That the investigators have already found the club guilty even though it has yet been charged, has not seen the evidence against it or had the opportunity to put forward the case in its defence? I look at that definition of the rule of law above and I can only conclude that the Age and Wilson have trampled all over Melbourne's rights in the past week. If the AFL has been involved at all in supplying her with information/conclusions then they've created a fine mess for themselves and are about to help a lot of lawyers to educate their children at expensive private schools. Not only that, but Wilson has been disingenuous in the way in which she's gone about her business and in the timing of her articles. Her stories this week remind me of this famous scene from the Pink Panther - Inspector Clouseau was led by the concierge to believe that the dog on the floor in front on him didn't bite but he omitted an important fact - that it wasn't the concierge's dog. Who knows what manner of tanking Wilson's been writing about this week but is it the sort that would enable the AFL to apply sanctions against Melbourne without opening a Pandora's can of worms involving half the other clubs in the competition? Finally, what is it about Wilson and Demon CEO Cameron Schwab? Apart from a reference to him appearing "grim-faced" after Melbourne's third win of the season when the club was still two wins away from losing a priority pick (perhaps the chicken vindaloo at the president's lunch was off that day?), I don't quite see what he's done to deserve the gallows. Strangely enough, I've yet to find a Wilson article involving Schwab in which she has anything nice to say about him. It's almost as if there's a deep-seated rift between the Wilsons and the Schwabs going back centuries all the way to Shakespearean times, one that evokes visions of a shrewish Liz Taylor, mouth frothing and begging to be tamed. Taylor, of course, was acting.

International Incident Narrowly Averted over Connolly Comments by Caroline Wholesome The Melbourne Football Club is at the centre of an international scandal after the Australian Ambassador to Ireland, Bruce Davis was summonsed to a late night meeting in Dublin yesterday with Enda Kenny, the country's Prime Minister. Davis was given a dressing down over comments allegedly made three years ago (or was it four?) by former football operations manager Chris Connolly. It was alleged in a newspaper report published in the ailing Melbourne broadsheet, The Ace, that Connolly told an ashen faced CEO, Cameron Schwab, after the club's third win in 2009 that "Jimmy's just fallen out of his hospital bed.'' He was referring to club President Stynes who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. Kenny told Ambassador Davis that the comments constituted an insult to all Irishmen given Stynes' legendary status as a national hero. When Davis insisted that the comments were intended as a joke and had been completely misconstrued by a third rate hack journalist with a twisted agenda against Stynes' old club, PM Kenny flew into a rage and threatened to cut off diplomatic relations with Australia. "I'm sick and tired of you Australians with your Irish jokes and you can stick that newspaper and its hack journos where the sun doesn't shine". Davis responded that many Australians were doing exactly that these days. Connolly was also under attack for allegedly telling a room full of MCG catering staff that their jobs were at stake if the club was to win more than four games in 2010 or perhaps that was 2012? He also threatened to take them to the vault at the Junction Oval where they could take their chances being urinatef on by the possums in the roof. In late breaking news, according to sources who prefer to remain anonymous, AFL officials were last night questioning a member of Melbourne's half time Little League team of 2009. Henry Kishmentuchus, now aged 14, made the claim that the team coach told his players on several occasions during the season that the objective of the game was not to win but to "have fun". This journalist does not accept the coach's comments. The young lad's evidence is clear proof of the culture of tanking that is so rampant within the Melbourne Football Club. It's time for McLardy, Schwab, Connolly, club captain Jordan Gysberts and the tea ladies to go, if not be indicted for treason for almost causing an international rift with a friendly nation. This matter will undoubtedly play itself out in the International Council for Human Rights.

International Incident Narrowly Averted over Connolly Comments The Melbourne Football Club is at the centre of an international scandal after the Australian Ambassador to Ireland, Bruce Davis was summonsed to a late night meeting in Dublin yesterday with Enda Kenny, the country's Prime Minister. Davis was given a dressing down over comments allegedly made three years ago (or was it four?) by former football operations manager Chris Connolly. It was alleged in a newspaper report published in the ailing Melbourne broadsheet, The Ace, that Connolly told an ashen faced CEO, Cameron Schwab, after the club's third win in 2009 that "Jimmy's just fallen out of his hospital bed.'' He was referring to club President Stynes who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. Kenny told Ambassador Davis that the comments constituted an insult to all Irishmen given Stynes' legendary status as a national hero. When Davis insisted that the comments were intended as a joke and had been completely misconstrued by a third rate hack journalist with a twisted agenda against Stynes' old club, PM Kenny flew into a rage and threatened to cut off diplomatic relations with Australia. "I'm sick and tired of you Australians with your Irish jokes and you can stick that newspaper and its hack journos where the sun doesn't shine". Davis responded that many Australians were doing exactly that these days. Connolly was also under attack for allegedly telling a room full of MCG catering staff that their jobs were at stake if the club was to win more than four games in 2010 or perhaps that was 2012? He also threatened to take them to the vault at the Junction Oval where they could take their chances being urinatef on by the possums in the roof. In late breaking news, according to sources who prefer to remain anonymous, AFL officials were last night questioning a member of Melbourne's half time Little League team of 2009. Henry Kishmentuchus, now aged 14, made the claim that the team coach told his players on several occasions during the season that the objective of the game was not to win but to "have fun". This journalist does not accept the coach's comments. The young lad's evidence is clear proof of the culture of tanking that is so rampant within the Melbourne Football Club. It's time for McLardy, Schwab, Connolly, club captain Jordan Gysberts and the tea ladies to go, if not be indicted for treason for almost causing an international rift with a friendly nation. This matter will undoubtedly play itself out in the International Council for Human Rights.

Games CSFC 2012 3 Goals CSFC 2012 1