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What's next?

Chelly
in Melbourne Demons

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• Demons struck by cholera epidemic

• Melbourne's Dan Nicholson suspended by club for a week for drinking while in rehab

• Al Quaeda affiliate signs on as new jumper sponsor for Demons. "They fit our wholsome image, "

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    Ben Cousins hired as our new chief medical officer

    Mark Jamar found to be a Russian spy

    Michael Newton is drafted back on a 6 year contract

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    Just checked the crystal ball. If any of you wish to go into hibernation for a week or so here is what we have to look forward to over the next 7 days:

    - Ben Polis to replace Cam Schwab as CEO to assist us in finding a major sponsor.

    - 100+ point loss to the eagles, fringe players Ashton hams and Ashley smith accuse us of playing bruise free football.

    - mark neeld accused of being too bland and soft on players in his press conference, media are getting sick of all his cliches.

    - Sylvia and moloney suspended for drinking during rehab.

    - trengove cops 3 weeks for farting within 10 metres of opponent. Demetriou says this must be stamped out of the game immediately.

    - $cully stars for GWS,racks up 180 in super coach.

    - Grimes trips over his shoelaces,out for 4 weeks.

    - Ben Hudson surprisingly turns up to play for eagles,dominates the hit outs vs jamar.

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    nah, it's got to be a nice big juicy sex scandal. The media would settle for nothing less

    bring it on

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    nah, it's got to be a nice big juicy sex scandal. The media would settle for nothing less

    bring it on

    Well, that could be on the mark DC. It feels lately that every step the MFC takes we are getting f***ed in the a**e by somthing/someone different against our permission!

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    Disgraced Melbourne players hijack return flight from Perth and seek safe haven in North Korea.

    Edited by Jackie

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    • REPORT: Carlton

      I am now certain that the decline in fortunes of the Melbourne Football Club from a premiership power with the potential for more success to come in the future, started when the team ran out for their Round 9 match up against Carlton last year. After knocking over the Cats in a fierce contest the week before, the Demons looked uninterested at the start of play and gave the Blues a six goal start. They recovered to almost snatch victory but lost narrowly with a score of 11.10.76 to 12.5.77. Yesterday, they revisited the scene and provided their fans with a similar display of ineptitude early in the proceedings. Their attitude at the start was poor, given that the game was so winnable. Unsurprisingly, the resulting score was almost identical to that of last year and for the fourth time in succession, the club has lost a game against Carlton despite having more scoring opportunities. 

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    • POSTGAME: Carlton

      A near full strength Demons were outplayed all night against a Blues outfit that was under the pump and missing at least 9 or 10 of the best players. Time for some hard decisions to be made across the board.

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