Visy Job Ad

[Guest melbman]

VISY - Carlton Area

Wanted

Recycling Process Worker

We are currently searching for a very tall hardworking and reliable Process Worker for our Victorian operations.

To be successful you will need

Mandatory:

• In addition to the full time role some weekend winter football duties will be required. limited football (and packaging) experience ok with second fiddle experience preferred as second string status may be repeated in this role

• Team Skills. Ability to get along with other recruits in the factory with similar winter roles is a must

• Height. Must be at least 206 CM tall, under 25 years of age and currently employed by a rival

Desirable:

• Ability to change preferences at short notice a distinct advantage

• Ability to publicly state one thing but mean another desired

Reports to Environmental Ambassador/Winter Duties Captain

Salary Package totally unrelated to experience.

• Part Time Winter football work; $1Million over three years to suitable applicant

• Full time Visy work; Paper bag/suitcase and a wink

Fremantle residents need only apply, or better still, we’ll contact you

[pantaloons 2,019]

Nice one! You'll need to add another zero to the price tag though.

[Guest melbman]

Nice one! You'll need to add another zero to the price tag though.

True. The $1Million is what we know about

Edit: duly edited

[pantaloons 2,019]

Yes, perhaps some "performance bonuses" would be appropriate!

[Little Goffy 14,455]

Gee that Visy place must be in line for one of those 'emloyer of the year' awards from the ACTU - everyone wants to go there!

I mean, this job ad was barely up before some guy from out in WA was putting in an application. And I hear from everyone that the money is pretty good over there, and jobs are easy to find, so it must be for the joy of contributing to such an esteemed organisation.

Still, I was a little surprised, apparently this guys brother plays for Melbourne in the AFL and has been doing really well, and they were interested in recruiting him as a ruckman.

I guess he just figured that he would get lonely being one of only a couple of really freaky tall guys at a place - that can be kind of isolating, being different like that that.

Visy, on the other hand, has a whole bunch of young guys in the factory who are about the same height and stuff, and some are even younger than this WA fella, but already doing the job full-time. I think it'll reassure him that he wont have to do too much right away, and his workload will be eased a bit by having three other young fellas with him doing the same job.

-----

Robbie Warnock has announced, apparently within two days of making his decision to leave Fremantle, that he specifically wishes to be traded to Carlton.

On the same day, the AFL quietly mentioned that they had found no evidence of any improper conduct of any kind by the Melbourne Football Club in relation to Robbie Warnock, despite repeatedly and publicy stating their concern about the club's behaviour in approaching Warnock in the past.

Presumably, Carlton will be subject to similar scrutiny and defamatory comments?

[H_T 3,043]

• Full time Visy work; Paper bag/suitcase and a wink

This is what I'm talking about. Further scrutiny required.

[Trisul 664]

KPIs:

One box with some glue on it.

[Diablo 1]

...

Did anyone else see this got a guernsey on the back page of yesterday's age (sports section)?

Geoff McLure missed the point completely though. Tool.

[Guest melbman]

I didn't know until I was looking at 'Ology earlier & D2 posted

It now has a Melbourne player Add flavour to it as it appears in the Age

Maybe the Visy/Carlton dig was a bit too much for mainstream stuff