Bitter but optimistic

I know that behind that macho womanising, drunkin, huntin, fishin façade you really love me Ernie.

That seems a tad extreme chook. If things go awry I shall simply give the maid a jolly good thrashing.

I'll be seeing everything through the bottom of a hideously expensive Riedel glass for the next few hours bb.

The garden show- FMD - that's an afternoon of my life I won't get back. Anyway I've just opened a Heathcote Shiraz to calm me down. As to the footy. Well the ducks will have to line up just right or the [censored] will [censored] on us from a great height. We were clearly underdone last week and we've brought in May and KK who you would reckon could also be a gallop short. However, we will need May to play a good one and shut down .. probably Hawkins. If Frost lifts from his shocker last week, his athletic and running ability may do the job on Ratta - he will need to. If Ablett plays forward that will be up to Nev, who at least made an effort last week. All that going well, some drive from Hibbert would be handy. Of course the best way to nullify the opps forward line is to keep the pill at our end. I reckon Max will find the opposition more to his liking and will lift. Clarrie and Brayshaw will need to get 30+ possies. Viney's fitness worries me but he's one of those blocks who can turn it on in unlikely circumstances. Jones is experienced and proud - he will lift. Tmac and Weid must kick goals …. and Trac …. please play a blinder. Pray for the ducks!

I’m currently having a very exciting pre game experience at the garden and flower show

Not ecstatic about the changes I’ll agree with them if we win!

I'm only qualified to comment on fungal matters TRI . And welts …. obviously.

We are [censored]!

Jesus that's got to be one of the worst footy injuries I've ever heard of! Commiserations and good luck to the poor bloke.

This was a struggle apart from the top two Salem Melk Brayshaw Harmes Fritsch Jetta

Even after a night's alcohol induced slumber, I still am having difficulties getting my head around yesterday's debacle. I'm not quite with @picket fence who compared it to the Neeld nightmare but it was an absolute shocker anyway you dice it or slice it. We were passive. Max got knocked around and nobody appeared to do anything about it. FMD even Jack watts handed out a couple of clips! Frost and Omac played shockers and Hibberd lacked his usual class. May is good but whether he can walk straight in and immediately sort out our defensive rabble is questionable. Our kicking was poor - I was staggered by the number of mongrel punts that came of the boot. What is our plan for going forward and scoring goals? On some occasions our forward line was vacant with no targets, on others we kicked to unwinnable contests. We lacked a Garlett type for crumbing and pace. I can only remember a couple of controlled forward entries. We have given up four points that should have been in the bank. And remember …. as well as fielding debutantes, Port were missing a couple of their guns. It's going to take a masterstroke to turns things around at the Cattery.

Tyson. Was not noticed

That was a total [censored] up! Jack Watts played a better game than about 18 of our players [censored] terrible effort

Currently [censored]

It’s a beautiful day at the G! Beer’s good. Perving excellent And .... surprise surprise... the footy record is still $5. .... including a free bag of nuts!! LG!’

I’m on the way Currently at Ginifer Who the [censored] would call a place Ginifer?

Well ...yes ...certainly on special occasions. Maybe a tad ostentatious for the footy.

Currently relaxing at The Manor. The maid is looking quite splendid in her new blue fishnets and red apron. I shall head off shortly and join the common folk on the Scumbury line - no buses thank [censored].

You better check Deemented - might be buses today!

Most of my favourite objects actually leave marks Ernie.

The last person I saw with a hip flask at the footy was of a particularly disreputable type. Hip flask was something of a misnomer in this case as the demijohn was somehow concealed about his nethers. The contents were apparently quite toxic as said person became ever louder, more disgusting, vulgar and offensive than is his normal state. I am not a dobber of course but a clue to this shameful individual's identity maybe inferred from the fact that decanter was marked "Property of The GAT".

FMD. That will mean long ques at the bar.

No pressure Sam. Just kick 45 and win a few hitouts. Oh … and star in the finals.

The bloke I really wanted to produce consistently this season is, unfortunately, injured and out for a while - Hannan. He's an exciting player and I really like his ability to find and convert goal scoring opportunities.

Will you be getting a personal measure and fit from the good ladies of the CWA Moonie? And be sure to check with dc - he'll no doubt have some contacts there.